Hotline Miami (Windows and Playstation)

Just so ya’ll know, this is probably the most graphically violent game I’ve covered ever so if oodles and oodles of gore and suggestions of sexual abuse aren’t your bag then you might want to check out one of my other posts and a different game.

Introduction

The year is 1989. The player adopts the role of a character wearing a letterman’s jacket in a dingy apartment, he is never given a name — the community calls him Jacket. His answering machine has a cryptic message leading him to an address. When Jacket gets there, via his sweet Delorian– did I mention this was the eighties–, he dons a rooster mask and kills everyone there (And everyone there is a Russian mobsters) using whatever weapons he can find. Another mask is delivered to his abode and he gets another message a few days later. He knows what he has to do.

If you think is too trippy then turn back now.

History

Hotline Miami was developed by Dennaton Games which is a collaboration between Jonatan Soderstrom and Dennis Wedin. Soderstrom made the game in Game Maker and Dennis drew up the art for it. Soderstrom is an ever-busy developer who’s released more than 40 games such as Mondo Medicals (A game full of illogic puzzles) and Hot Throttle (A racing games with people who think they’re cars).

Let this dialogue encapsulate the game.

Hotline was based on one of the oodles of games Soderstrom made but didn’t release called Super Carnage. Soderstrom was able to get the game to near release state but he couldn’t get the enemy AI to work correctly– something I’ll come back to later.

Fun Fact: This game was pirated pretty heavily because it’s got such a small file size. In spite of this, Soderstrom helped patch buggy copies of the game whether they were legitimately acquired or not. He’s cited as saying “I want anyone who plays the game to be able to enjoy it without stupid bugs that detract from the experience. Feel free to buy it if you like the game. It would help allowing me and Dennis to make more ‘big’ projects like this in the future.”

Hotline Miami was released on October 23rd, 2012. It’s competition was The Fool and His Money (PC and Mac), Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask (3DS), and Killzone HD (Playstation Network).

Experiences

No two play Hotline Miami the same way — and I don’t just mean their approaches to mass murdering a bunch of mobsters. My Hotline wasn’t about power fantasy. It was about solving a mystery. The game goes as far as to ask the player directly, “Who has been leaving messages on your phone?” and I was totally drawn in by this. But more importantly, I wanted to know why Jacket was so complicit in accepting his commands.

I tried to glean as much information as I could to figure it all out. What did it mean that his apartment was a wreck? Why did he choose the flashy Delorian if he intends on killing hundreds? How strong is this guy? I mean killing people with his bare hands is probably physically demanding.

In the end, I had this strange instinct that Jacket was a character who would do whatever he was told. He was just the sort of person to blindly perform tasks like the input the player gives him. He’s just following orders.

What’s that, voice in my head? Kill them all? Good idea.

Gameplay

The game is a 2-D isometric fuck ’em up — the difference between a beat ’em up and a fuck ’em up is that in beat ’em ups you punch dudes until they fall down, in fuck ’em ups you punch a dude and then slam his head against the floor until his skull fractures. Your goal in each level is to kill everyone you see — with a few scarce exceptions. The good news is that enemies die in one hit. The bad news is that you do too. You can press R to restart the level and that’ll get ingrained in your muscle memory so hard that you’ll do it before you hit the ground.

Jacket’s a pretty flexible fighter as far as serial killers go. He can pick up and throw any weapon he gets his hands on — with some weapons being more dangerous than others– or he can resort to his good ol’ fists. The game scores you on how well and creatively that Jacket dispatches his enemies. The more you mix it up and the more fluid you are the more points you get.

His array of masks also offer bonuses, large and small, to keep the carnage going — with effects like “Lethal Doors,” “Silent Gunshots,” and “French Translation.” Speaking of guns, be careful where you fire them. Your opponents are stupid but not deaf. They’ll come running as soon as they hear it and be none too pleased about their murdered friends. It certainly doesn’t help that guns give you fewer points.

All dem masks. It’s a good idea to get a feel for which ones you like best.

The Gush

The music in this game is incredible. It’s a perfect match to the sleazy 80s atmosphere. The whole while I was playing this game my head was bobbing. I listen to it a lot even when I’m not playing the game and this is 2 years later.

The game has this weird way of rewarding the player’s frantic, wild, and unpredictable actions. It almost seems like the AI is struggling to keep up with something they didn’t expect the player to do. It all sort of turns into a blur. Run in, hit guy with the door, pick up his weapon, throw it at other goon, pick up his gun, fire to attract other guys, finish of first guy, throw gun at remaining thugs, punch them all, and then beat them to death one at a time.

I really liked how the optional objective gave some sort of clarity and meaning to the chaotic experience. If you’re itching to figure out what’s going on them keep an eye out for misplaced purple pixels. They’re actually puzzle pieces but what could they mean?

The Kvetch

This game is pretty difficult. I know some of you blazed through it easy and but just imagine how discouraging it’s got to be to die as soon as you open the front door. The game’s difficulty is exacerbated by it’s extremely fast pace.

Bonus Story: My old computer was practically a toaster — I named it Rust Bucket. It ran Hotline extremely slowly and slower yet if I ran something in the background. I may have used this to A+ every stage — if it’s any consolation it glitched out quite a few times.

The Verdict

I can’t recommend this game enough if it sounds at all appealing to you. It’s only ten dollars on Steam and that’s a bargain for the barrel full of gore and fun this happened to be — but mostly fun… and yet mostly gore. If you liked this title then it will please you to hear that Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number is nearing its release so keep an eye out for it as well.

Next Week: The Binding Of Isaac.

Transistor (PC, PS4, and Macs.)

Introduction

 In a far distant future a rabble-rousing singer, Red, stands on a cold balcony. Her friend lies dead nearby, his chest pierced by a blade from another world known as the Transistor. The only way to get answers is to take this blade and fight the people who used it to kill him. Between you and them are a horde of beings from this other world that are trying to Process the city and everyone in it. I mean, you fought against it’s totalitarian policies but that doesn’t mean it’s citizens deserve to die.

History

Information about this game’s development is scarce. I could only find cursory information about its music — he says “only” as if the music wasn’t incredible. The music was once again composed by Darren Korb. The female vocals were performed by Ashley Lynn Barrett who also lent her talents to Bastion.

Supergiant’s Greg Kasavin said that they, “Have no plans for what comes next.” A bold and risky strategy. They originally created their small team so that they’d be able to be quick, so that they wouldn’t get bogged down. I think if they’re as quick as they want to be then they won’t need a plan, just a goal.

Fun Fact: Transistor won IGN’s award for Best Graphics in the Art category.

And I think it’s well deserved.

Transistor was released on May 20th, 2014. It’s competition was Thomas Was Alone (iOS), Wolfenstein: The New Order (PC, PS4, PS3, XBox 360, and Xbox One.), and Battlebock Theater (Win, Linux).

Experiences

There’s an adage I’ve heard of in the games hobby, “there are some games I stop playing because I’m bored and some games I stop playing because I should have eaten dinner two hours ago.” This game definitely falls into the latter category. I stayed up until 4 in the morning finishing it on a Friday night. I spent the whole time thinking, “This couldn’t get better, it’s gotta end soon,” but it didn’t. It kept going, ushering me along. I expected to get mad like it was yanking my chain but I was just so excited that I didn’t want to sleep before I’d finished it.

Gameplay

Red spends her adventure on the move — there’s no Bastion to run to this time. While you take in the sights from the city of Cloudbank you’ll be spending most of your time trying not to get utterly destroyed by these creatures known as The Process. The Process comes in many forms the dog-like Fetch, the large lumbering Jerk, and the artilleryesqu Clucker to name a few.

I just love the concept of a large bothersome enemy literally being called a Jerk.

Those large white walls are cover and it’s your best friend — besides The Transistor itself. Different enemies interact with cover in different ways. Fetches will walk around it whereas Jerks will smash it out of existence, leading other enemies right do you.

Cover is super important because of the Turn() mechanic. When Red uses Turn() she enters a turn based tactical combat mode. Each of her abilities and moving itself takes up time from the Turn(). When you’re done planning then you can execute your Turn() and Red will move very quickly running circles around the Process. After Red executes a Turn() however she’s unable to use any of her abilities until Turn() comes back online after 10 seconds. Most combat is a series of Turn() and then hiding until Turn() comes back.

Behold, the Turn(). I really like how it puts a reverb on the music and how Red starts humming along with it.

The Transistor has the power to reconstitute processed individuals into programs. These programs are used to fight The Process, augment Red, or augment other programs. The game even rewards you for trying out new strategies by giving you more information about Processed individuals for using them in each category.

Behold all these programs. Each program can be augmented by two other programs and Red herself can be augmented by four. There’s room for four attack programs so that’s 16 slots to put programs in. There are thousands of programming options.

 

The Gush

The music in this game is so good. Korb really outdid himself this time. The music is this sort of Electric Noir that masterfully meshes the neo-archaic atmosphere of the game. I mean, you’re fighting with a techno sword.

One thing that I actually liked about the game that got a lot of flak was the dying mechanics. When Red gets dropped to critical health she automatically Turn()s if it’s available and if it isn’t then she’ll go down. The game will then take away the program that takes up the most memory and then continues the fight. It can make the fight really tough if you go down but not impossible. You can reequip that program at the next Access Point but it can still be a slog if you lose your heavy hitting program.

Spoilers

I really loved the final boss of this game. I got so pumped when he started talking about using my power against me. I was really surprised by how good the AI was in this fight. Watching it perform Turn() and then back out and try to do more damage with a different set of moves almost made me feel like I was fighting an actual human.

End Spoilers

After you beat Bastion you could play through the game again with all the stuff you’d already unlocked but not much changed in the game. When you Recursion through Transistor you keep picking the programs where you unlocked them in the first playthrough, while already possessing the programs from the original run. That’s right, you can augment your programs with themselves — programception

There’s a lot of information and lore in the game. Unlike most games I read it all. It’s not like Elder Scroll’s long and drawn out books. Lore is conveyed through concisely written paragraphs when it comes to processed people. Every so often Red will run into Cloudbank’s plentiful terminals, each of which presenting her a survey or some other insight into how Cloudbank runs. I mean, it doesn’t really answer any of the big questions about the game but I’m not mad.

The Kvetch

I lied. I’m mad. The mystery of the game feels more obfuscated than interesting. The politics of Caelondia are never explained because they don’t matter. The purpose of the Process and what their world is is of critical importance and I didn’t get it. It feels like there are some bread crumbs missing.

CLOUDBANK! How will I unravel your mysteries?

The Verdict

This game is absolutely worth the 20$ price tag and even if you don’t buy the game I can’t recommend the Soundtrack enough. I had just as much fun exploring the world of Bastion as I did the World of Cloudbank. I wish Cloudbank had had more closure than it did but it was a helluva ride.

Next Week: Hotline Miami

Zoe’s MMO Corner: WildStar

WildStar is a pay-to-play (with some in game options) space western RPG with a charming cartoonish flair, some living vegetables, and space zombies – because everyone needs more space zombies – about the settlement of a lost planet and it’s kind of a good time.

History and Development

WildStar was created by Carbine Studios, which was basically just a bunch of guys from Blizzard who got pissed off about Blizzard being Blizzard – you know, in doing game research for this blog, I’ve realized that happens a lot more than it probably should, Blizzard, maybe stop creating your own competition, mkay? – and took off to make their own game.  Which they were quoted as saying they wanted to be “anything but World of Warcraft”.  Guess those dudes are not getting references from their former employers.  But it is pretty funny.

Apparently in the creation of WildStar they couldn’t find a game engine they liked enough to base their whole game on so they made their own.  And the mechanics for WildStar are pretty entertaining.  Basic, nothing hugely fancy, but like, that’s not important.  They work, they’re smooth, great.  In 2011, the game was announced, and went live in June of 2014.

After I finished playing through what was then the available content for the Secret World, sometime in early 2013, my gamer pal and I went looking for our next big MMO.  And we found WildStar, then still in development.  It looked fucking awesome.  Like, the cartoonish graphics, the bright colors, the plot which basically read as a ripoff of the television show Firefly but with aliens (this was not at all a bad thing), and, at least for me, the space zombies which I was immediately obsessed with and would answer any question for the next six months about “cool new games” by yelling “SPACE ZOMBIES” and frothing at the mouth a little.  It’s really a wonder I have friends.

But for real SPACE ZOMBIES

Now a quick heads up, when this DID release I was just starting this crazy job I had for a while where I worked 13 hour days so I haven’t played as much of WildStar as I should.  I also had some issue with my account and with subscriptions but that’s not really something I want to get into right now.  Just suffice to say that I haven’t played all the way through WildStar the way I have with other games.  Not because I didn’t want to, but because it’s hard to play a game when you spend most of your day hanging from the ceiling and playing with electricity and tape.

But I really wanna get back into it, if that makes it any better.

Character Creation

Here’s a story.  I have a baby sister.  Okay, she’s not a baby – like, she’d be really mad if she knew I called her that – but she’s six.  Which is pretty much a baby when you’re over twenty.  Anyway, the point is, I may or may not have taught her to use the character creator for WildStar (she can also use the one for Guild Wars 2 which she refers to as “make a girl” and keeps making crazy pink Sylvari).  So like, there wasn’t much of a point to that except it’s adorable because oh yeah, the WildStar characters ARE FUCKING CRAZY LOOKING.

She likes the space zombies too.

Here’s the boring part where I list a bunch of stuff, hang with me for a second.  So your choice starts with whether you wanna be in Dominion or Exiles (and by that I mean the Empire and the Rebels because this is kind of Star Wars and by that I mean totally Star Wars).  Each side has three different races to chose from but the classes and paths (I’ll explain) are all the same, mostly.  Dominion snotty humans, robots, demons, and killer mice while the Exiles have normal humans, animal people, space zombies and golems.

Classes are your abilities; chose from Warrior, Esper (psychics), Spellslinger, Engineer, Stalker (rogue), and Medic.  Each class has a couple of roles and the WildStar website does a much better job of explaining them than I was, so check that shit out if you want more info.  Your path is what kinds of quests you get, your interests basically: Solider, Explorer, Settler, Scientist (I tired really hard to make a Tinker Tailor Solider Spy joke there but it wouldn’t work and honestly how many of you are old enough to get that?  I shouldn’t be old enough to get that.)

As for cosmetic character creation stuff, it’s actually a lot of fun.  The graphics are very bright and cartoonish so it’s in no way trying to be serious.  Your character can be neon pink from top to toe if that’s what pops your toast.

The critique that’s been leveled against the character design is that woman look kind of unrealistic.  I mean, yes, it’s true, everyone, male or female, has like a three inch waist, but I’m not going to defend this one because of that.  I’m actually not going to defend this one at all.  Yes, the cartoonishness could have been done better for women and allow them to be less sexy cartoony.  It can get kind of boobular and I’m not about that.  I mean, mostly you can avoid it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

I mean really guys, do we need that much boob happening there?

Story

Like I said, it’s not like I’ve played a huge amount of this game, but it’s not massively story heavy, at least so far.  The basic plot is that the Exiles and Dominion both find this planet called Nexus where once lived an ancient race of elves beautiful ancient technologically advance being called the Eldan and basically you’re there to steal their shit.

Since it’s an MMO, it makes it feel like everyone else is doing that to which honestly works.  Basically think of it like an intergalactic gold rush going on.  Plus Dominion and the Exiles are fighting each other all the time so that’s sort of throwing a wrench in everyone trying to steal everyone else’s shit.

Also you’re trying to figure out ancient tech.

But really the story is kind of weak.  Like, other things are great, like the atmosphere and the combat (getting to that) but the story is just kind of there.  It’s fun and mindless, which is sometimes pretty okay, but it’s certainly not the best out there.  It’s just a means to deliver that game and I like my games as a means to deliver a story.

Gameplay

But on the other hand, combat is pretty boss.  Like, it’s smooth and easy to master and fun and dynamic.  Enemies telegraph abilities in these big red circles on the ground – this isn’t the only game to do this, so don’t think I’m saying that, but WildStar does do it particularly well/often – so combat isn’t something you can take as casual.  It’s a lot of attempts to dodge and weave and run away and run back and it can be kind of frustrating but it’s kind of fun too.  Also the attacks all have fun little animations so it really does feel like you’re bouncing around enough rather than just hitting someone with a sword over and over again.

Also it’s shiny.  Really most everything in this game is shiny.

The quests are interesting enough.  Well, I mean, most of them are like “Kill 12 giant bees” or whatever, but depending on your path, you get certain types of quests that feed into that and give you a different experience.  Settlers claim resources and stuff, soldiers murder, you know, pretty standard stuff but it’s a decent idea that really does make the game feel like you get more freedom to chose what sort of character you want to play.

Level and class is pretty standard.  You find better equipment.  There’s a crafting system I think but I honestly haven’t gotten around to that because I’m terrible at most crafting systems in most games (Guild Wars 2 and Dragon Age: Inquisition aside).  Also you get a house which is kind of fun to play with.  I mean, I’m not totally huge on that, but it’s kind of a good time to play with and keep all your shit.

But honestly the draw of this game is the open world combined with the graphics.  You get to wander around and it’s just so cool looking.  There’s a whole quest about riding geysers into the sky and it’s just really pretty in sort of this fun, almost childish way.  Things are brightly colored and even in the 3D graphics, it really hangs on to that cartoon look.  I like that.  I like that it has a style to it and isn’t trying to look normal (by that I mean that most games really seem to want to look realistic and WildStar is like one of the few games out there that’s really trying NOT to look realistic).  It’s bright and shiny and goofy and happy.  The writing isn’t like stellar or anything but it fits the style of the game and it’s enough to make me laugh.  I think that does a lot for it.  In this age of “dark and gritty games”, it’s just so god damn happy.

The Good

Style, style, style.  WildStar has fucking style coming out of its goddamn ears.  Like, it’s just so much fun and so swish and shiny and exciting and pretty in a really different way.  I can look at most new games and say “Oh, it’s pretty” but this game is pretty the way a little six year old girl would think of pretty and by that I mean bright and colorful and you can have aqua hair (clearly “aqua” as a color is a big thing for my sister and she was really happy about her pink and aqua cat girl).

Style though.

Combat is solid.  Writing isn’t terrible.  The concept of the story is actually really solid and works with the space western thing really well.  I think it really captures that idea of the spaghetti western in tone and writing, but with aliens and giant bees and shit.  It’s a good time and a good look and I’ll forgive some of the story issues because of that.  I guess that goes back to the idea of style, though this is tone rather than visual.  They just have this really solid thing going on.

The Bad

Story.  It’s not great.  I mean, tone aside, it’s just not really there when you dig for it.  It’s actually pretty frustrating because like, I want it to really be as good as I feel it could be, but I worry that it’s lacking there to a certain extent and that’s frustrating.  It can grindy because of that and like, yeah, you do need to just kill things for XP which is really not my thing.  I think that WildStar would be great with a friend, but as of yet I haven’t had time to really play with pals – I have a friend who will play this with me but time, you understand – so maybe I’ll change my opinion when I get to do that.

The Ugly

Usually in this section I’m pretty solid at pinpointing “a thing” that is terrible.  Or not.  But this one is more of a feeling and that feeling is that fifteen levels into this game, I’m still not sure how I feel about it.  I want a game to try to take over my life.  I really want that.  I know it sounds weird, but that’s what I’m going for.  And this just doesn’t do that, at least not yet.  I was so excited about it coming out but that waned really quickly.  I’m actually patching the game as we speak – on my incredibly slow internet, it will be HOURS – so I’m going to try it again, but I just don’t think it has a great hook.

From here…?

I don’t know.  I can’t say go buy it.  I can’t be that enthusiastic.  But I do think people shouldn’t write this game off quite yet.  I think it has a lot of potential and I’m hoping it’ll grow into it.  I’m also hoping the subscription will go away because fuck those.  It’s still pretty new so it’s still a little pricy so maybe wait on it for that, but I am happy to say that the price is dropping.  Like, I don’t think it would kill anyone to wait for this game.  But I do want it to be really good so keep that in mind.  Even if it’s not, I really want it to be.  So I’ll be giving it another chance.

Next Month: Due to my own internet related issues, Zoe’s MMO Corner will now become Zoe’s RPG corner (covering any RPG with character customization beyond class and gender) which means that next month we’ll be doing Neverwinter Nights! Kickin’ it old school with my first love of gaming with lots of discussion of DnD and some of the origins of the famed Bioware murder spree.

Bastion (PC, XBox, PS4)

Introduction

 The city of Caelondia has just been rocked by a catastrophe of calamitous proportions — a Calamity, one might say. The Kid has apparently slept through it all and wakes on the other side — End of the world NBD, just napping. The city of Caelondia has an, apparently, paranoid enough culture to justify the construction of some sort of indestructible bunker known as the Bastion. The Kid’s got to get to the Bastion and fix it up to get it to do whatever mojo it does. The whole while he’s guided by this smooth talking, raspy voiced, narrator.

Behold the Bastion. From left to right we have the armory, forge, distillery, monument, shrine, and the Lost-And-Found. At the center of it all we have the Monument. It’s a nice hub, I’ve got to say.

History

Bastion was developed by Supergiant games. The team was composed of seven people if you include the voice actor of the narrator. They had previously worked for Electronic Arts but wanted to work on a smaller independent project in which they could do what they wanted. They privately funded the game and things were done on the cheap but didn’t seem it — the narration and music was recorded in the music director’s closet after all.

Fun Fact: Supergiant wanted the character to have a map but they figured the way platforms rose into the air would serve as direction enough.

Other Fun Fact: The Narrator, voiced by Logan Cunningham, voiced three thousand lines of narration — whatever you do, there’s probably a line for it.

Bastion was released on July 20th, 2011. It’s competition was Call of Juarez: The Cartel (PS3, XBox 360), Limbo (PC), and Captain America: Super Soldier (On goddam everything. PS3, Wii, XBox 360, DS, and 3DS.)

Experiences

I can’t think of any other game that makes me feel more like I’m in a desperate battle. Between the occasional horde of enemies and how they surround The Kid I feel like the battle is bitter and hard fought. Most enemies don’t go down in one hit and much of the time The Kid is actually fighting retreat to get away from something. One fight with an Ankle Gator lasts for an entire stage as The Kid evades it until it begins to rain — the narrator muses, “An ankle gator can only be killed if it’s raining. And it ain’t raining.”

Gameplay

The Kid’s adventures take him scavenging in all parts of the world for pieces of the Bastion’s power core. He might walk a little slowly but he’s got a mean dodge roll that can actually damage enemies — just be careful, living in a world floating in the air is pretty dangerous. He can carry two weapons at a time and they’re generally split between melee and ranged. The game typically gives The Kid one weapon of each type but there’s no reason you can’t use two of the same if you like the playstyle enough. In addition to The Kids arsenal he’s also got access to some Secret Skills passed on by the Caelondians who have passed.

He’s not just an offensive powerhouse, he’s got a shield. If he brings up the shield as he’s being attacked he’ll shield bash dealing damage based on how much damage he would have taken. The shield also serves as The Kids lock on ability, he’ll automatically face the nearest opponent when he brings it up. Attacking brings the shield down so you can snap from blocking to attacking.

A typical combat situation. The turrets on the ship have been charmed, you can tell by the dancing hearts above them  — functional and cute.

The Kid levels up by defeated enemies and completing challenges. Completing challenges also earns The Kid items and Secret Skills. Every level earns The Kid another Spirit –as in the alcohol– he can consume to give him cool powers. In addition, there are mementos and fragments scattered across the area. Mementos unlock dialogue and other useful things like pets at the Bastion. The Kid can spend fragments to purchase weapon upgrades and other things from the Lost and Found.

You can tell a challenge area by the cages with items underneath. The goal of this challenge is to break all the stuff. Be quick!

The Gush

I really like the upgrade system in this game. Every weapon has five levels of upgrades. Each level has two mutually exclusive upgrade. Each column generally serves other upgrades in that column but it’s sometimes encourage to mix and match. You can also switch between each of those upgrades so if you don’t like them it’s just a matter of getting to an Armory.

This game looks gorgeous — but you’ve been able to see that from all the pics I’ve posted. The game is colorful and wondrous. Some things are even incredibly detailed in ways that the player wouldn’t necessarily notice.

I mean, just… look at this. This is awesome.

I tip my hat to Logan Cunningham’s wonderful narration. His vocal stylings constantly make me feel awesome and emotionally involved. The Kid’s a silent protagonist but he’s really got the narrator to speak for him.

There are a few objects in the Bastion that will take The Kid to “Who Knows Where,” where he’ll fight waves of phantom enemies. Each wave of phantoms the kid defeats unlocks more narration about one of the survivors in the Bastion. Even thought the fights are tough I want to keep going to hear what happens next.

Spoilers: There are other survivors.

If you’re looking for a little extra challenge then you can go to the Shrine and invoke an idol. Each Idol gives the enemies a new ability which makes them more powerful. The Kid gets more fragments and experience points for his time but it’s really just a little reward for wanting the game to be a little harder — even though I think some of the idols make the game absurdly harder (Seriously, who thought making the enemies incorporeal at random intervals was a good idea. [Then again, I just don’t invoke that idol]).

The Kvetch

This game has a new game plus option, to play through the game again. I appreciate it and I love this game but I don’t really see the reason to play through it twice. There’s no new weapons, no new skills, and no new story events. The narration’s a little different as the narrator experiences Deja Vu but it’s mostly similar.

The Verdict

Goodness gracious this game is on so many platforms because it’s so good. The gameplay and combat is simple but the different weapons and skills add that spice that keeps it all mechanically interesting until the end. I was also drawn in by the plot, the politics between Caelondia and the Native Ura, what the Calamity actually is, and who the Kid is. In short, it’s totally worth the $15 price tag.

Next Week: Transistor

Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War — Soulstorm (PC)

Introduction

“In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war,” is the motto of Warhammer 40k and it’s a little misleading– I mean, there are plenty of hiveworlds filled with paper pushing Imperials who’s only real civil risk is the occasional food riot. That being said, you are not on this rather boring world. You’re in the Kaurava system and shit’s gone whack every since a Warp Storm showed up and started wreaking havoc across the system. The nine factions on the four planets of the system are embroiled in an all out brawl to take it once and for a little while. Choose whichever faction you like most and kick some Xenos and or Heretic ass in this fast paced Real Time Strategy game.

This is the campaign map. That pink thing would be the Warp Storm and it’s causing a mess of trouble for everyone involved.

History

Warhammer 40k is a table top tactical miniature game in which each player has a series of painted miniature figurines and use a series of rules to destroy each others. Warhammer 40k is based on the Warhammer series which are both produced by Games Workshop and both basically work the same way.

Pictured: Space Marines (in blue) deploying via drop pod to get rid of some troublesome Space orks (In the greenest of greens.)

It should be no surprise that this game isn’t the first in the Dawn of War series– considering all those subtitles. Each game in the series unlocks playable race and some additional units and buildings. Unfortunately this meant that back in the day if you wanted to play Dawn of War — Soulstorm with your friends and play Tau, for example, then you’d have to have Dawn of War — Dark Crusade as well as Soulstorm. This disgruntled many because it made the previous games nearly mandatory to play who they wanted.

This was also the fourth game in a series and it’s largely unchanged from the previous installments. The only thing that Soulstorm added were flying units, which were hardly game impacting from my casual point of view.

Dawn of War — Soulstorm was realeased on March 4th, 2008. It’s competition was Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii), Silent Hill: Origins (PS2), and Condemned 2: Bloodshot (PS3, XBox 360).

Experiences

Despite being released in 2008 this game’s graphics are surprisingly adaptable to a crappy computer. Particularly the crappy computer I was using in 2008– it’s great when a plan comes together. Even though I was graphically challenged I was still able to play with my friends.

I remember one match that ended in a figurative draw. His base was across a narrow bridge and was so well defended that I couldn’t get enough men into it. I controlled the rest of the map and it still wasn’t enough to force my way inside. I was playing my favorite faction, the Orks — I mean they’re the only beings in this grimdark future who are having any fun. They were numberless, they were deadly, they were too dumb figure out how a choke point works. We like to think that they’re still fighting to this very day.

Gameplay

The game is real time strategy with an emphasis on base building– there are no gold mines or trees to chop this time though. In a Company of Heroes style the map is covered in strategic points, critical locations, relic points, and slag dumps. Strategic points, critical locations, and relics provide the player with requisition which they can use to build mostly infantry units whereas slag dumps and power generators create well… power. Power is used to make vehicles.

It’s less of a “base building game” and more of a “get into your opponents head and build a better set of units” game. It’s really hard to turtle because you can only build a limited number of base defense turret and they’ve typically got low health. This promotes focusing on making units and more aggressive tactics.

Behold, the chaos of war. BTW, Sisters of Battle love fire.

The defining difference between a single match and the campaign is that the player starts with a rather powerful commander unit. These commanders can be decked out with sweet battlegear by taking territory and performing other impressive tasks like defeating 3 times as many enemies as you lost. This battlegear can turn your commander into a one soldier army and it gives the campaign a real sense of progression.

The Gush

The battlegear is a really cool system for upgrading the commander. Besides their mechanical benefit they also usually look badass.

Behold the Tau Commander in all of his decked out glory.

The campaign also offers the player honor guard units for capturing territory. These units seem really small and not useful but they’re actually really powerful despite being single units sometimes. They’re deceptively valuable.

Each of the factions has a pinnacle unit that’s unleashed when if you claim a relic. These units are extremely powerful and just cool to look at. It’s always satisfying to finally create one and then crush your enemies — even if they get totally destroyed in 20 seconds by a huge wandering army.

Fun fact, this Living Saint is nearly the size of a tank. I see the Imperium has some new steroids.

The Kvetch

The story element of the campaign is really barebone and shoehorned in to ensure that everyone is fighting everyone at the same time. I know it’s really hard to put nine different giant factions in the same sandbox and make them all have a good reason to fight but it would have helped this a lot.

The only way to see how to get awarded wargear is to catch the awarding messages and bring up their tooltip. It would be nice to know what I was aiming for to turn my Big Ork Warboss into an unstoppable behemoth.

This is your only opportunity to see the criteria for getting awarded wargear.

The game can be really rushed based. My friends used to call this game “Hell-Hound Rush Extravaganza” it was so popular. I like a short game as much as the next guy but 5 minutes is a little too short for me.

The Verdict

I really like this one but it’s age a little poorly for me. I like playing it but I don’t really get anything out of it. Each campaign’s missions are the same so it feels really repetitive to play through each of them to see the minute changes in story. I’ll give it a play every once and awhile but it’s just for nostalgia’s sake. If you love 40K and want to stomp your friends with you Space Marines then give it a shot. If you’re looking for a great RTS then maybe you should look elsewhere.

Next Week: Bastion

One Piece Mansion (PS1)

Introduction

Polpo– the guy in red up there– owns an apartment building. He’s doing pretty well for himself. His rival, Chocola, has kidnapped his sister– because this is a videogame and women exist to be kidnapped and push the male hero forward. If Polpo does not complete Chocola’s challenges then he’ll never see his sister again! These challenges revolve around, strangely enough, making Polpo’s mansion better suited for his tenants– These are the worst kidnapping demands that I’ve ever heard of.

This is basically how much plot we get but I want to know more about this world. What are those buildings?

History

It’s hard to believe that Capcom made something so weird. It’s stranger yet that this game got released to the American market because it is incredibly bizarre. Hideaki Itsuno was the director on the project and he also directed Power Stone (an arena fighting game) and some of the Devil May Cry games– which do not follow the strangeness of this game. It wasn’t his first rodeo and it was released around the middle of the Playstation’s life-span.

One Piece Mansion was released on September 30th, 2001. It’s competition was Silent Hill 2 (PS2), Ico (PS2), and Devil May Cry (PS2). I see a lot of PS2 titles and I’m seeing that backwards compatability was working out really well for Sony.

Nostalgia

I saw this game in Playstation Magazine, a great publication to have by the way– I can’t tell you how many things I wouldn’t have found if not for it– and I imagined something totally different than what the advertisement for it presented. I don’t know what I expected exactly but I imagine it had something to do with helping tenants and exploring this mansion. Not the case. Thanks 00s games industry.

Gameplay

Just look at that. Look at that up there. Does that make any sense? It’s a little overwhelming but let me assure you, that all make sense. Each of those characters in a yellow bordered room is a tenant. They pay you rent every month. Each of them inflicts or relieves stress in different adjacent rooms. That sumo wrestler– trust me, he’s a sumo wrestler– on the left center slams the walls, floors, and ceilings to practice. You can imagine that that racket pisses off his neighbors, hence their stress increase.

Those bastards in the upper left with the black bordered rooms are part of the Syndicate 5. They’re here to rob your tenants, light the place on fire, piss them off, or blow up their homes– which is your property. For some ungodly reason there’s no police force to get these guys off your property so you’ll have to scare them when they’re robbing people. Positiion those letters well, they’ll help you or get in your way when it comes to stopping criminals. The only way to get them to leave for good is to use that stress your tenants are inflicting and put them right near these chumps. After about 1600 sumo slams they’ll bugger off.

This game is all about managing the stress of your tenants so you’ll have to position, evict, and bring in tenants that fit your tenant’s stress needs. Elevators, rooms, swapping, all cost you money so it’s all a matter of managing resources. By the way, when a tenant gets too stressed out THEIR ROOM EXPLODES so don’t let that happen.

The Gush

I love the designs of these characters. They have really unique and interesting animations that I love to watch. If you zoom in then you can even hear what they’re saying and thinking. It’s really interesting and fun.

From right to left, Ai-Chan (The happy MPDG), The Lovers, Heebee (The bamboo artist), and some unknown creature that looks like it’s gonna eat my tenants.

Each level in the game has a unique character that appears at a random time. They can either be really beneficial or really destructive. The only one I ever saw was a spoon-bending psychic with a long scarf who would rain lightning down on the mansion. Even though it was destructive I thought it was so cool.

I don’t know how but Polpo himself is immune to the stress caused by his tenants. Putting him in the middle of a stress nexus is totally fine. He’ll never flip– I wonder what his secret is.

The Kvetch

So you’re mansion is going well, everyone’s got a nominal level of stress, sometimes you have to swap a few tenants around to keep everything good. THEN, out of nowhere a member of Syndicate 5 can show up– blowing up one of the previous tenant’s rooms (at no cost to you but still)– and start causing a ruckus. At that point you’ve got to move all the tenants around to get that prick to leave. I know they’re goal is to make the game difficult but it’s really punitive when they blow up the stress lynch pin. I think it would be much better if they took up empty rooms or dropped in from above.

There are only 2 tracks of music for the game. One when everything is relaxed, and another when you’re on the verge of bankruptcy that’s really repetitive and frantic. It gets really boring really fast listening to these same tracks over and over again.

The Verdict

Nostalgia can’t save this game for me. I just don’t see what the purpose or payoff for the game is besides a high score. I’d say that it’s worth a look at but buy a copy of it and share it with your friends. Actually, the most fun I’ve had with the game is inflicting it on my friends so let that frame the game.

Next Week: Dawn of War: Soulstorm