FTL: Faster Than Light (PC and iOS)

Introduction

You are the captain of a ship in the Federation of Planets. The Federation is embroiled in a bitter war against a Rebel fleet that’s turned half the sector against the Federation. The Rebels have been able to best the Federation because it’s constantly able to harass its ships with drone ships that are cheap to produce and don’t require a crew. Your vessel is doing deep reconnaissance near the Rebels and intercept a data packet describing how the ships of the Rebel Fleet are dependent on its Flagship to function. Your goal is to outrun the Rebels and get this information to the Federation Headquarters. Unfortunately the Rebels are hot on your heels. Fly through asteroid fields, solar flaring suns, sensor-blocking nebulae, and many ships of various designs and ability that all want to turn your ship into scrap.

Well, it’s actually a strategy game but it’s the most sweat inducing strategy rogue-like that I’ve ever played.

History

FTL was developed by Subset games with Justin Ma and Mathew Davis leading design — and when I say leading I think I mean that they are Subset games. Inspired by board games like the Battlestar Galactica board game and others where the players have to tactically manage power. They wanted to create an experience where, “the player feel like they were Captain Picard yelling at engineers to get the shields back online.”

The game was primarily funded by a 200,000$ Kickstarter campaign. By that point Subset had created the bones of the game but it didn’t have music, the best writing, or run very well. This Kickstarter money ensured that it would have all of those things. It was one of the first Kickstarter funded games and helped start the trend that videogames could be crowdfunded and succeed.

Years later Subset released a free, toggle-able, expansion pack called the Advance Edition. The Advanced Edition introduced a new race and several new systems to ships, making things more complex than ever.

Fun Fact: The Crystal race was a prize for one contributor to the Kickstarter campaign who donated a large sum of money.

FTL: Faster Than Light was released on September 14, 2012 and it’s Advanced Edition was released in 2014. It’s competition was Borderlands 2 (PC, XBox 360, PS3), World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria (PC, Max), and Castle Crashers (PC).

Experiences

I end up getting really attached to my crew. I usually don’t remember their names but I do remember That Mantis who killed three intruders or That Engi who’s kept my ship together through the worst that space can subject to it. I panic and pause when someone is near death, trying to figure out how to save them in time. That Engi is manning the shields and trying to keep them up while we’re under heavy fire. He’s been hit a few times by laser fire but he was able to get the shields up and running. I can see the missile pass through the shields, it’s heading for him. I pause and order him to the medical bay. He dashes for the door to avoid the blast but it’s too late. The explosion turns him into nano-particle paste and my chief engineer is dead. I pause again, shout, and wonder how I’ll manage without him.

I know we will somehow. (Art by tink29)

Gameplay

You play as a Federation ship seemingly sitting in space — it’s doing evasive maneuvers it would just be difficult to express that on a 2-D plane– as it jumps between FTL beacons trying to reach the exit to every system. The Rebel fleet is hot on your heels and will overtake beacons as it flies across the star map — and these aren’t the chump scout ships these are the professional flotilla cruisers– it’s best to avoid them.

For the most part you’ll be fighting enemy ships and you do this by allocating power to your systems, aiming your weapons, and firing them. Your systems will be targeted by enemy ships and you can target an enemy ships’ systems like their shield or weapons –actually, I almost always aim at their shields and weapons. Your ships’ hull can take a beating but it can only be repaired at stores so minimizing the damage you take is important.

Fire, hull breaches, and system damage can all cripple your ships in a number of ways. You’ll have to find ways to counter each of these mishaps.

When you salvage blown up ships or as rewards for helping people you’ll get scrap. Scrap is used to upgrade your ship’s systems and you can trade it at stores if you can find one. You expend fuel when your ship jumps, missiles when you fire them, and drone parts when you activate drones from your drone bay.

So, you’ve been upgrading your ship. You’ve probably bought a few new weapons. You’ve got a fine crew who’ve stood by you since the beginning. When you get to the end you’ve got to face the Rebel Flagship in a three round all out space brawl. Good luck, you’ll need it.

The Gush

This game has got so many mods. There’s mods for music, weapon design, that add more types of planets to background images, that ignore the rebel fleet plot, and all sorts of crazy things.

There are mods that turn ships into Starcraft ships! There’s a mod for everything.

There are a lot of cross system quests that I thought were really fun. A few of them tickled my mystery gland very well. Certain actions can unlock additional ships with all sorts of weird strategies. I’m a sucker for unlockables and this game will give me a lolly if I can put crew members of 6 different races on my ship at once.

Speaking of unlockables and races. Stats of your ship and what crew members you have will allow you to unlock certain, sometimes secret, options for events. Dealing with food riots? Send in your rock man, their sticks and stones can’t hurt him. Negotiating with a dodgy captain? Have your slug read his emotions to figure out whether he’s on the level. Someone teleport onto your ship and hold someone hostage? Your mantis’ enhanced adrenaline and sharp incisors will ensure the hostage is safe.

Aw man, I loves seeing that blue text.

 

The Kvetch

When you were jumping to a beacon it was impossible to tell which beacons that one could reach, sometimes I would jump to a dead end and get utterly destroyed by the rebel fleet. Thankfully this was fixed in the Advanced Edition but it was so frustrating I wanted to talk about it anyway — What a quibble.

I fucking hate asteroid fields. Asteroids constantly bombard your ship and the enemy ship if there is one. It turns the combat into a DPS race but if the enemy gets some lucky shots on your systems while your shields are down then the incoming asteroids will ensure that you can’t get back on your feet.. The Stealth Cruiser doesn’t have shields to begin with so if it wanders into an asteroid field it’s gonna get pummeled and there’s little it can do about it.

If the engines get hit or the pilot gets hit then you can’t even jump away from the field.

The Verdict

FTL: Faster Than Light is a damn fine game. It’s punishing and brutal but I never felt like I hadn’t learned anything between playthroughs. I was able to use this applied knowledge to get further and further each time until I eventually beat it. As a rogue-like it’s susceptible to RNG screw but things are usually manageable. This game gets an enthusiastic recommendation.

Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number (PC and Playstation 3,4, and Vita)

As the sequel to Hotline Miami this game has upped the ante when it comes to brutality and violence. Last review I warned that this game might not be for the squeemish and it goes double for this review. This game depicts sexual violence as well as regular violence so viewer discretion is advised again.

Introduction

The events of the previous game end with a lot of Russian mobsters getting killed and the protagonist of the first game, a gentleman known only as Jacket,  getting arrested. His actions have created a ripple effect across Miami. There are those who seek to understand him and those who seek to emulate him. You play as these disparate Miami dwellers, learning their stories, and figuring out whether you truly enjoy hurting other people. You’ll also take a little trip to the past to figure out a bit about Jacket’s bearded friend, everyone’s favorite snake, and everyone’s favorite rat. If you play get ready for the stunning conclusion to the Hotline Miami series.

But is it really the end? Yes… it is. Dennaton games have publicly stated that this image was put into the game as a joke and considering the ending, I don’t know where they’d go with the series.

History

As before, Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number is developed by Dennaton games which is comprised of developer, Jonatan Soderstrom and artist, Dennis Wedin. This time instead of just using Game Maker they tweaked the Game Maker 7 program to make their own unique engine.  They wanted to make a game that focused more on story and characters, each character having their own goals and motivations.

Things changed a lot in development. Earlier builds of the game had characters with abilities they don’t possess now– Corey the Zebra, in particular, had the ability to enter buildings through windows instead of going through doors. It was also intended that Ash, the gun-toting swan, would be killable alongside his sister, Alex. As it stands, Ash is invulnerable to harm — something that I totally wouldn’t use to my advantage… nope.

Fun Fact: The Hotline Miami twitter released a phone number weeks before release that revealed the release date when called. A copy of the call can be found here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlnrQHoWCvo

Hotline Miami was released on March 10th, 2015. It’s competition was DMC: Definitive Edition (PS4 and XBOX One.), Assassin’s Creed Rogue (PC), and Five Nights at Freddy’s 3 (PC).

Experiences

There’s a character you play half-way through the game who’s someone we’ve met before. It’s revealed that he’s a real character who can’t get a job because he’s too busy taking care of his sickly mother. There’s a point where she asks him to help her take a bath because she’s cold and too sick to do it herself. I felt so bad because I had to go out and kill russian mobsters– he comes up with an excuse of course– but she was super supportive of his endeavors to go out and make friends or get a job. I felt guilty. I came back home from the murder party and she was lying in the bathroom unconscious. I felt so bad. She was alright though, he tucks her into bed and all is well.

Breaks my heart, every goddam time.

His final level involves him breaking out of prison. I was super pumped because prison breaks are always fun in games but then I had a thought. I asked myself how long this guy had been in prison, how long had his mother been alone? I started crying, I’ll admit it. I just kept thinking, “I’m gonna get you back to her man, I’m gonna get you back.”

Gameplay

The game plays very similarly to its predecessor but there are some seemingly minor changes that shake thins up a lot. You’re still going to different locales, ridding them of life, and then getting back into your sweet ride — just remember that everyone, including you, dies in one hit. This time though more thugs have random patterns and there are more windows. This leads to more pre-planning, use of the look function, and getting killed out of seemingly nowhere. This might lead the twitch reflexes you developed in the first game to rust a little. You’re also more likely to survive a single gunshot, something that happened randomly in the first game.

But can you argue with the results? Yes, yes you can.

The plot up to this point is that Jacket has eliminated most of the Russian Mafia in Miami. He’s been arrested but his actions had far reaching consequences. There’s a new film coming out, Midnight Animal, that dramatizes his actions. He’s inspired a group of disgruntled citizens to take the fight to criminals on the streets, killing them by the houseful. Writer and former Russo-American war correspondent — did I mention this is an Alternate Universe where the cold war got hot… apparently?– Evan Wright is even writing a book, trying to make sense of the whole situation. There’s more where they came from and it’s a little tricky tying them all together but I find it really fun. Each of these characters has a different playstyle that really mixes the gameplay up.

You usually get to pick from a pool of options per level. Try them all, some are better suited for some levels than others.

In case you thought the first game was too easy and the second game got too easy as well, there’s now a hard mode. Hard mode disables enemy locking, add stronger enemies, and flips most maps — good-bye muscle memory.

The Gush

Although there are fewer masks there are more characters. These characters are more fleshed out and there’s a stronger plot in general.  It gets around to explaining some mysteries that were present in the first game. You’ll have to do some digging though. News articles, answering machines, and challenges will grant you intrigue and understanding so keep your eyes open.

It shows in dialogue like this that characters have traits now. This bear is so upbeat and outgoing about murder.

Whadaya know, the world of Hotline Miami exists in an alternate timeline where the cold war got pretty hot. I thought it was an interesting explanation for the rampant anti-Russian sentiment and the rise of Russian based crime. What’s a Russo-American to do when they see a “no Russian need apply,” sign?

The new abilities are really fun to play with. My favorite is probably the gameplay of Alex and Ash, the swan twins. Alex leads the way with a chainsaw and Ash follows with whatever gun he can find. Ash’s pathing is a little bad but the gameplay style is unique and interesting. It allows Ash to fire off his weapon and lure enemies to Alex, or for Alex to finish off downed opponents while Ash keeps her safe.

As usual, the soundtrack in this game is top notch. It features a greater intensity than the first, with each level having it’s own unique track. You’ll replay levels just to hear these sweet techno tunes.

The Kvetch

I can’t tell you how you many times you’ll walk down a hallway and get blasted by someone who’s off screen. You can use shift to look further ahead but sometimes that’s not enough distance to avoid getting shot. This sort of thing prevents you from getting big combos you were used to in the first game.

The maps are bigger this time around and that means getting wasted near the end means losing more progress than ever. It also means there’s an even larger list of things to worry about. I constantly found myself wondering if I had taken care of thugs that were guarding windows or in certain areas because I’d gone on a different path and couldn’t keep things straight.

That whole area in the middle is just a giant kill zone. It just shouts, “Don’t walk here. This space does not enhance the gameplay, it’s a trap.”

There are so many score bonuses that it’s difficult to determine how well you’re actually doing until the end of the level. Hotline 1 seemed to express these score increases during gameplay so it was more readily apparent what your score would be. It sucks to go for an A+ ranking and not realize that you’ve actually been doing awful because your boldness score wasn’t high enough.

The Verdict

It’s inevitable that comparisons get drawn between a game and its sequel and Hotline Miami 2 is a different beast from Hotline Miami 1 altogether. If you like the first then there’s no guarantee that you’ll like this one, the tweaks to the gameplay have really changed it. That being said, if you didn’t like Hotline 1 then you might like Hotline 2. I personally enjoyed both, so it’s not a mutually exclusive thing. If you wanted your Hotline Miami to have more plot then this game will be your jam.

Next Week: FTL: Faster Than Light.

Zoe’s RPG Corner: Dragon Age: Origins

Dragon Age: Origins, and its expansion, Awakening, are a 3rd-person single-player RPG set in the medieval magical land of Thedas where a bunch of orcs darkspawn are trying to fuck shit up with a big Eye of Sauron dragon and even though I am going to mock how much this game is like Lord of the Rings, it is also great, I promise.

History and Development

Then called simply “Dragon Age”, Dragon Age: Origins was anounced by our old friend BioWare in 2004.  The developers cited things like George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” and other “low fantasy” works.  Honestly though, that’s one of those fiction witer terms and I honestly dislike it because like, ASoIaF is shockingly high language but apparently if you mention things like visceral death, rape, and other things that were rampant in the middle ages, then you’re low.  And honestly I’m not sure I would even call Dragon Age (the franchise, not just this game) low fantasy.  I’d say it has some of both but it’s more high fantasy than low.

Except of course the famed BioWare Homicide Streak.

The game came out in 2009 and has basically been held up as the standard to which all story-based RPGs are held ever since.  Critics gave it high marks in terms of story, graphics, replayability, mechanics, everything.  One review even named it “RPG of the Decade”.  It’s a game that people still, five years later, have trouble catching in terms of all around goodness.

Except (personal opinion) apparently there’s a song by Thirty Seconds to Mars on the official soundtrack and like excuse me, what?  Not that I have really anything against Thirty Seconds to Mars exactly, but I was not expecting that.

As I mentioned earlier, though, Dragon Age is a franchise.  Three games and their various DLCs, a series of novels, a tabletop RPG that I really gotta check out, comics, a web series staring Felicia Day, and wait a second, there’s a fucking Dragon Age anime, that sounds terrible, I need it.  I own the first three novels but haven’t read all of them, just started the first one.  It’s…okay.  David Gaider, lead writer of the game series, writes them and they read just like I would expect a video game writer to write; solid dialogue, a lot of plot, but just lacking a certain amount of what we writers refer to as “showing” because he probably gets to write things like “He looked as though he didn’t care” instead of what novelists have to do which is write what he did that made him look that way.  Really, the books are for people who love Dragon Age and want to know more about the world, not for people who like high fantasy novels.

I was forced to play this game the first time.  Didn’t own it for my first play-through.  My friend made me play it, and Mass Effect, because she has fantastic tastes and knew what I wanted.  She was right.  It hit all the right buttons for me.  The NPCs in your party are phenomenal and the dialogue is snappy and snarky and very human.  The plot and the decisions are really interesting and they know what they’re doing in their world creation, mostly.

Also they let you play dwarves and I have a real thing for dwarves so that was a big thing in favor of the game in my eyes.  Very, very concerned upset looking dwarves.

Who the hell are you?

What the hell do you want?

Why the hell would you do this?

I bought the whole thing.  I’m on my third play through now, which isn’t a lot but there are a lot of games out there and also you know I graduated from college during that period too.  But I still think this game is great enough that I have mapped out what I’m doing for the next, oh, eight or nine times I play it and I have zero shame about that.

The story of DA:O continues in Dragon Age: Awakenings, the expansion, which feels like a whole new campaign and is super long with new companions, but still continues to be super good and doesn’t get as much love as I wish it did.

Character Creation

The reason it’s called Dragon Age: Origins is because you get to pick from one of six origin stories which you play through as a sort of tutorial before the main shit starts.  The origin stories are as follows: Human Noble, City Elf, Dalish (forest) Elf, Dwarf Noble, Dwarf Commoner, and Mage, of either the human or elf variety – in the world of Dragon Age, dwarves can’t do magic.  The three classes are mage, rogue, and warrior.  It’s a very simple creation system which I personally really like because it doesn’t bog you down in choices.  It’s gonna be a long game though, so settle in.

The physical creation mechanics are solid and very much a standard of newer BioWare games.  It’s intense.  You can adjust everything.  The one major MAJOR problem of the character creator is that if you want your character’s skin to be darker than “looked at the sun once” it’s gonna look weird.  For some reason, they did something terrible to the texturing and they don’t have any options for being darker than slightly brown so like, not only is your character gonna look pale as hell, they’re gonna look weirdly patchy.

Other than that, though, it’s pretty solid.

Story

Dragon Age: Origins is the story of the Fifth Blight of Thedas.  Every once in a while, the darkspawn, an underground dwelling “race” of corrupted beings that were once normal humans, elves, and dwarves – I mean did they even try not to make orcs? – get together under the rule of an archdemon and try to kill everyone.  You play a Grey Warden, a member of an organization that exists specifically to murder the hell out of darkspawn and eventually the archdemon, by drinking darkspawn blood because that seems like a great idea.

Along the way it becomes your job to deal with all sorts of bullshit because you’re the goddamn hero of Fereldan.  Apparently that makes you the fucking expert in who should be in charge of countries and stuff.

Additionally, Dragon Age: Origins relies really heavily on its NPCs.  They’re a varied bunch – including a man who trained to be a church knight, a drunken dwarf, a grandmotherly healer, a sexually explicit elven assassin, and a witch – and they all want shit from you.  So a lot of the story is about getting to know your companions and doing the quests for them.  And I mean also sometimes boinking them.  Because romance is just what we’re all thinking about when the fucking world is ending.

Gameplay

H’okay though.

So I have no real proof for this, but part of me feels like Dragon Age: Origins is still based on that old BioWare turn based engine because combat is still SLOW AS BALLS.  Like, I get what they’re doing, I do, but it still feels like shit takes forever.  So like, I honestly believe that I spent most of my time doing combat in this game because every fucking fight was like a marathon. Mages attack super mega slow.  So do warriors with two handed weapons (never control one during a battle, it is a snore-fest, go be Morrigan instead).  It just feels like it takes a long time.

Also there are a ton of skills.  Like a ton.  Like a mega-ton.  A lot.  It can be really overwhelming if you’re not careful.

But apart from that, it’s pretty solid.  It’s not like intense dynamic combat or anything, but it does what it’s suppose to do.  Besides, Dragon Age: Origins is a game about talking to people, not fighting them.  It really is.  I mean, there’s a lot of bloody horrible murder too, but also you have to talk about it, and the writing is still really good so that cuts down on a lot of the combat problems, I guess.

But hey, mages have super cool spells.

Like a boss.

The Good

The writing.  It’s really fantastic.  Some of the best video game dialogue known to man and I will defend that statement with my life.  They know their shit in this game, know how to get it to hit you in gut and make you laugh all at the same time.  The voice acting for it is great too, staring such wonderful individuals as Steve Valentine of Crossing Jordan, Claudia Black of Stargate SG-1 and Kate Mulgrew of Star Trek: Voyager, so basically hitting all of my childhood loves.  Oh yeah and Steve Blum as “crotchety drunk guy” because in no way is he type cast.

Of course the great writing makes for great characters.  I think among the creative side of video game fans, Dragon Age: Origins gets the most artistic and fanfictional love, followed probably by Dragon Age 2 and Dragon Age: Inquisition.  This game knows how to tug your heatstrings.  It also knows how to make you love characters.  Or hate them.  There is no more hate for any character ever I think than there is for Morrigan of this game, mostly from women who are mad about A Thing that happens.  Which I’m not about because Morrigan is the fucking bomb.

There should be no hate for this beautiful sneaky witch thief.

The story is good too.  They do the choices really well and it does feel like you’re really shaping the destiny of a nation.  Basically they do everything in the writing and plot side of things 99.9% right.  I even like the fade section, which puts me in the minority of players.

The Bad

Combat.  The pacing makes it really difficult to keep interest when it comes to the hacky and the slashy.  It’s a big game so sometimes you’re just like “Ugh I have to fight my way through this whole forest/underground tomb/ancient ruin and it’s gonna suck.”  And then it totally sucks.

The Ugly

Nothing is terrible in the way that I usually have here.  Like, the slow combat is annoying but it’s not enough to put me off this game for even a second.  I dunno, maybe…

Oh.

Wait.

The sex scenes.

It’s the least sexy thing I’ve ever seen.  Ever.

I think it has something to do with the underwear and the fact that the sex scenes make the models look like snake people and I do not like that.

From here…?

Just buy the game.

Do I need to say anything more?  If you have the game, play it at least six thousand more times.  You will not be disappointed except maybe by the sex scenes but like, if you’re relying on not actually naked video game sex to get your rocks off, we need to talk about your life.

Next Month: Dragon Age 2! The one in the middle! With that guy who fucked everything up!  Oh it’s gonna be great.

Twisted Metal Black (PS2)

 

Introduction

The Blackfield Asylum holds the worst of Midtown’s worst. It’s a place rife with the strong and the mad. One day it gets taken over by a guy by the name of Calypso. He says if the choice inmates enter his contest and kill each other then he’ll grant them a wish, anything they want. They all have a vehicle –stashed somewhere, I guess– that Calypso supes of for them. They’re dropped into the middle of Midtown to wreak havoc on it and the other drivers. Drive, fight for your life, get power ups, and see your darkest desires come true.

Pictured: Calypso. With a face like this, what’s not to trust? Pay no attention to the eye with evil tendrils coming out of it.

History

The Twisted Metal series is developed by Incognito Entertainment. Blackt was designed and directed by series veteran David Jaffe and produced by Scott Campbell. Jaffe had worked on the first and second installments but was taken off just in time for things to take a downturn in the third game in the series, which continued into the fourth. The series needed a change, it needed a new breath of life, so they brought Jaffe back to bring the series back to its roots — well maybe not its roots, I mean Twisted Metal 1 is a pile of camp and silly.

One of these is Twisted Metal 2 and the other is Twisted Metal 3 and I don’t think either of them looks better than the other and that’s a problem.

Then again, we’ve come a long way since the full motion video cinematics that were cut from the first game. Pictured: A demon named Black.

Twisted Metal Black was released on June 18th, 2001. It’s competition was Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Baal (PC), Sonic Adventure 2 (Dreamcast), and Operation Flashpoint: Cold War Crisis (PC).

Experiences

I might have played this game when I was younger than I should have been. My father had seen me play Twisted Metal 3 and how kiddy is was. I loved it –because I was 14 and didn’t know any better– so I was hot on the sequel’s heels when it came out –or as hot as a 20 dollar a season game budget can be. I played it to completion and saw all of the vignettes, learning the stories of the deranged characters. I then related these experiences to my relatives who didn’t exactly understand how videogames worked. Much to my surprise they were shocked and appalled about its content and the effect it would have on my young mind. Long story short, don’t introduce someone to the industry with this game.

Gameplay

Twisted Metal belongs firmly in the niche car combat genre — and when I say “belongs” I mean, “Is the best and only part of.”  In which you choose a vehicle from a variety, each with their own stats like top speed, handling, and armor. You then ride them around in arenas picking up powerups, shooting at other vehicles from the roster, and trying not to die. Powerups include missiles, canister bombs, and other special items that are level specific. They’re hidden everywhere in this game, they’re across gaps, tethered behind helicopters –blow them up and deny your enemies their prize–, and hidden in destructible terrain.

Each driver has an attack that only they can use. These special attacks are very powerful and are automatically recharged after a certain amount of time that’s different for every driver. Each vehicle also has certain abilities that they all share like launching attacks backwards, dropping land mines, engaging a cloaking field, or shooting a freeze ray. They’re performed by inputting a button combination on the controls and use up an energy meter so they’re a little unwieldy to use in the middle of some fancy driving. If you’re out of all of that then you’ll have to settle with some machine guns which are decent considering how piddly they’ve been in previous games.

When I say powerful, I mean turning your car into a mech that shoots missiles levels of powerful.

The Gush

Inbetween every match we get a little snippet of what the driver is thinking. I think it was a great way to give the player something to do during the loading screens and give us some insight into the character.

The AI controlled drivers do a good job of fighting each other when they’re not fighting you. It seemed like in other car combat games that the AI characters would just gang up on you. When I was younger I thought they had their own unique AI or personality but that doesn’t seem like it’s the case.

The two previous games were filled with disappointing endings where no characters had their wishes fulfilled. A curse of the Monkey’s Paw is interesting every once in awhile but it loses tension when it’s constant. Black set a good balance between wishes going well and wishes going poorly.

There are 5 unlockable vehicles and most of them have interesting methods to unlocking them. Most levels have something particularly destructible that hides the vehicle so you’ll have to unlock them in the middle of combat.

Spoilers, the Junkyard object is the plane. Shooting it out of the sky is pretty tricky but doable. I always though I could lead another driver into the blast and destroy them but I never pulled it off.

The Kvetch

The maps in this game are pretty forgettable. Some of the hidden areas are sort of cool but for the most part it’s all dingy and drab. I know the world is supposed to be depressing but there’s only so much brown I can take.

The game has local multiplayer deathmatch and campaign but it suffers from having to be splitscreen. I know that it was a limitation of the time but…

… this is just not enough screen to play on unless you’re television is huge.

The gameplay also gets sort of dull. I figured out I was only playing for the story after I played through everyone’s campaign and then never played the game again. It’s been collecting dust on my shelf as a monument to my teenage angst ever since.

The Verdict

If you’re invested in the past of the Twisted Metal series and need some more stories about deranged people blowing up cars — or you’re like, 16– then this would be a game worth picking up. If you don’t give a damn about any of that then just pass on this one. It might be worth a laugh to force your friends to play a deathmatch with you but those’re the only uses I can think for this game.

Next Week: Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number.

Hotline Miami II Theory: Beard Doesn’t Exist in Hotline Miami

Alright all you crazy cats out there. Hotline Miami II will release very soon now. As a promotion for the game, the developers have been releasing comics discussing the upcoming factions the game will have. One of them shows Jacket’s post-murder rampage companion, Beard, fighting Russians in some sort of armed conflict. One of his comrades looks suspiciously like Jacket’s in-comic character and his face is never revealed, just like Jacket’s hasn’t. Beard’s final line in the comic is, “Then I’ll go back home, and act as if this was just a bad job that I quit. Maybe I’ll open my own shop… a bar, a video store, a grocery… whatever… I won’t have to think about this shit anymore. And that’s what really matters.”

If Jacket took this to heart then he might find something resembling sanity and solace in Beard’s ideal for what sanity was. He calms down after every engagement by going into his mind and having a chat with his deceased, or at least not present, war buddy who gives him a gift for being such a good friend. Beard’s first words in Hotline Miami I are used to console Jacket after his girlfriend broke up with him, something that commonly occurs when someone goes off to war.

Just to emphasize my point.

 

Eventually the violence is too much for Jacket those he’s murdered begin showing up in his safe places. Mangled mobsters begin frequenting his favorite joints until Beard is killed by Richter in every location, the man who actually attempts to murder Jacket. Wherever Richter goes he tells Jacket that he’s not welcome there any more. I imagine this to be Jacket’s realization that he’s being followed by someone he distinctly doesn’t trust. And he shouldn’t, it’s Richter who gets the closest to killing him.

It’s just a theory and it might not pan out but let this post show that if it is true, I called it.

 

Killer 7 (PS2 and Gamecube)

Introduction

It’s the near future and the world has had it up to here with terrorism’s shit. In order to combat terrorism the world has united, eliminated air travel by creating trans-oceanic roadways, and eliminaed free access to the internet. A group of terrorists, known as Heaven Smiles, are able to infiltrate a diplomatic meeting at the UN and detonate an explosive. The trick being, they are the explosives. The United States and Japan are now embroiled in a battle to acquire the Yakumo Cabinet Policy, a document which is said to hold the secrets of a perfect government. Not that it matters to the Killer 7, they’re just assassins hired by the US to cripple the Japanese effort. Play as a multiple personality cornucopia where the changes in personality also change the physical body. Plunge into the depths of utter insanity in Suda 51s break out hit, Killer 7.

These are the heaven smile in their natural form. Would you really call that a smile?

History

Killer 7 was written, designed, and directed by Goichi Suda, better known as Suda 51. It was part of the Capcom 5 project which was a Capcom’s plan to release 5 games for the Gamecube — alhtough this one would get ported to the Playstation 2. Overseeing all this was none other than Shinji Mikami of Resident Evil fame. Capcom wanted to make a new intellectual property because they thought the market was getting stale — and taking a look at 2005 the only new IP I saw was Psychonauts.

Unlike most games that were released on both the Gamecube and the Playstation 2 the Gamecube version is graphically superior. Textures are sharper and animations have more detail, especially the reload animations.

Fun Fact: Suda was very interested in professional wrestling, film noir, and multiple personalities so he put all of those topics into a blender and hit puree.

Killer 7 was released on July 7th, 2005. It’s competition was Dungeon Siege II (PC), Destroy all Humans (PS2 and XBox), and Battlefield 2 (PC).

Experiences

I was drawn into the game originally by a fascination with multiple personality syndrom — partially inspired by Stephen King’s The Drawing of the Three. I wanted to see how the personas interacted with each other, or what their attitudes toward each other were. Unfortunately, although there is some character development, the game is heavily plot driven. I was sort of disappointed but it just made me more determined to find character traits wherever I could and that I might be able to glean more from the characters by studying the plot.

Gameplay

Killer 7 is an on-rails shooter, this means that all movement is strictly controlled. The player can go forward and backward, changing directions, or taking turns are certain junctions but has no free movement — hence being on rails like a roller coaster. Then the player can shoot enemies by entering first person mode — because shooter.

You’ve got seven killers — hence the name– to choose from at any given time. Most of them play differently except for Coyote and Dan — I guess that’s supposed to represent their rivalry. Some of them are locked at the beginning of each level and are unlocked by killing Heaven Smile or hitting a Micro Smile enemy. You can change them on the fly by using the pause menu. And don’t worry if they die, Garcian can collect their body bag and return them to life — but if Garcian dies then it’s game over.

It’s really a matter of which you prefer although they’re all necessary to beat the game.

Most of the game is gated by puzzles — to Zoe’s disappointment, there will be no Latin to translate. Most puzzles are just, “go here, pick up this thing, take it over here,” or, “Use the thief to pick the lock,” but every once and awhile the game gets clever. These puzzles and enemies safeguard Soul Shells which the Smiths need to reach the boss of the level.

The Gush

There are characters in the game who are like ghosts who exist to help the Smiths. One of them is an unassuming little ghost of Harman’s first kill. This guy talks straight– or at least straighter than any of the others– and does his best to be helpful without prejudice. He’s got no hard feelings about the whole killing him thing.

The weirdest thing about him though is that his shirt says something different whenever you see him.

The enemy design is actually quite clever. Some Smiles can only be killed by their weak point, some Smiles are giant rolling balls with faces that are their weak points. You never know what the game is going to throw at you next.

I really like the cell shaded and simple colored style of the games art. It gives the game this sort of otherworldly feeling, like it’s just off.

The way the wall is wall papered creates a stark contrast to me in the totally black non-textured wall.

If you like black humor then you’ll probably get a laugh out of this game. I’m looking at you Russian Roulette scene.

Just… the absolute stoic look on his face.

The soundtrack swaps a lot from moody ambience to high intensity techno. Either way it raises the tension of the scene, making me jump at shadows, wondering when an enemy is going to attack.

The dialogue of non-living characters is some sort of garbled noise with subtitles. Sometimes I could swear I heard a word from the subtitles in the conversation. I was always trying to figure out what the original lines were. I really liked it but it’s generally not a popular opinion.

The Kvetch

This game has got a fascination with blood. Killing a Heaven Smile without shootings its weak point causes a line of text with a blood pun to appear in the upper right hand corner of the screen. Thin blood is collected by shooting limbs off of or hitting the weak points of Heaven Smile. It’s used to heal the Smiths or use their abilities. Thick blood is acquired the same way and used to level up Smith abilities. You can only earn so much Thick blood in each level so it’s important to get as much as you can to keep the Smiths up to snuff as the game goes on. Farming Thick blood is the most boring and dull part of the game and I don’t know why it’s even there.

I mean, this game really likes its blood.

The plot is kind of interesting but super hard to follow. Some of that’s from the wonky translation but most of it is just not mentioned.

The Verdict

If you’re in the mood for immersing yourself in a mythos then this is a mythos worth immersing yourself in. The game is decently fun on its own but if you want the full story then you’re going to have to dig a little deeper online or play through it again with the subtitles on. There’s a book explaining the more nuanced parts of the plot called Hands in the Killer 7 and that explains everything really well.

 Next Week: Twisted Metal Black