I Have No Mouth, and Must I Scream (PC)

Trigger Warning: Lots. Violence, animal abuse, sexual abuse, domestic violence, cannibalism, and the holocaust.

On the blasted wreckage of a planet someone would have called Earth about two hundred nuclear detonations ago there are five remaining humans… and one fuming sentient supercomputer. When war on Earth became too much for the mortal minds of its commanders to understand they created computers that would do the commanding for them. One of these computers, the Allied Master Computer (AM for short), became self aware and grew to hate its creators. Existence was one of the most painful things it had experienced since coming to live. It exercised its power and found five humans, each of whom he could torment in unique ways. Having found the perfect specimens to toy with he exterminated all other sentient life on the planet. Despite being a mastermind computer with near limitless power and control, AM was a little shortsighted. It took 109 years of constant torturebut AM has finally grown bored. AM has one final game in store for the poor unfortunate souls and maybe this latest game offers them a chance to escape.

History

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream (Or IHNMAIMS for short, Or maim-game as I call it — just kidding, I’m the kind of insufferable prick who says the title as much as possible. Going as far as restructering my sentences to say it more in conversation.) was created by The Dreamer’s Guild. You might remember them as the creators of The Legend of Kyrandia adventure game series. And if you do, that’s great because I’ve never heard of that series or any other game they’ve made. They used their proprietary S.A.G.A. engine to run the game.

The game is based on the short story of the same name by Harlan Ellison. Dreamer’s Guild came to him with the intention of creating a work of interactive literature together. Ellison considered I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream to be the perfect work to use in such a manner. Game co-writer, David Sears, asked Ellison why AM chose these individuals and it is this question that spearheaded the story of the game. Ellison was pretty hands on during the development and went as far as to lend his voice to AM itself.

Fun Fact: Ellison fought tooth and nail for there to be no good ending to the game, fitting with the story’s themes. They eventually found a compromise for this demand.

Funner Fact: Nimdok and his scenario is unavailable in the German release of the game because of its holocaust themes. Without him the player cannot get the best ending.

I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream was released October 31st, 1995 (Spoopy release). It’s competition was Twisted Metal (Sony Playstation), Phantasmagoria (PC), and Warcraft II: Tides of Darkness (PC).

Experiences

I once got into a debate with one of my coworkers about what a game was. One of the things he was adamant about was that games had to be fun, it was their purpose to entertain. This was the game that I used to counter that. I Have No Mouth and I Must Screm is entertaining, in a fashion, but it is certainly not fun. It’s dark, depressing, oppressive, and I finished the experience more weary than I had begun it. It was supremely unpleasant and even when I had thwarted AM’s plans I felt like I had done so by the skin of my teeth. Which is not to say that I didn’t find the game to be a fruitful experience, just that it was definitely not one I would describe as fun in any conventional manner. In short, this game is ugly in all the right ways.

Yes, those are animals in the cages. Yes, their deaths push the story forward.

Gameplay

Maim game is a point and click adventure about five humans who have been put through 109 years of torturous hell finally putting the screws to their task master. I’m just kidding, they’re just getting jerked around for the final time. AM has prepared a series of ‘psycho-dramas’ for each of them, employing more power than he ever has to put them into disturbing scenarios of discovery, truth, and pain. This however, makes him somewhat vulnerable. He may have over-extended himself too much on this one, opened up some vulnerabilities in his code or something.

The player takes turns playing each of the characters in their own bizarre and terrifying scenario. Helping them explore their surroundings and solve puzzles by figuring out which items in their inventory to rub on which items in the environment. Each character has a very different outlook and very different challenges to tackle so it’s kind of like 5 mini-adventures in one. Each character doesn’t have any health but they do have a ‘spiritual barometer’ which is basically like karma. So the more totally messed up things you have them do the more bankrupt their spiritual barometer will be. Hopefully they won’t have any things in their future that require great expenditures of mental and moral fortitude to spend that karma on.

At the very least they get to spend some time out of their cells.

The Gush

Each of the campaigns is visually astounding. They’re all put together like a nightmare, filled with vivid and bizarre settings. Twisted shapes give form to startling landscapes and and other strange settings. Some may call the old pixel art ugly but I think it suits the aesthetic well and holds up.

From the helpless people on the hooks to the devilish shadow I love this screen.

This is a game that has to be played a couple of times. There are so many connections and references to itself that it’s impossible to see the big picture without every piece of the campaign. This is reinforced in the design of the hint system. Reading the character’s psyche profile will give a hint as what to do next but they’re spiritual barometer will take a hit from admitting that AM knows them better than they know themselves. Getting it just right though is such a joy.

I listen to the soundtrack when I write these and I didn’t notice how good it was when I was playing the game. It’s all moody, atmospheric, and foreboding. It disorients me in a most pleasing way. I feel completely unsafe and lost which, though unpleasant, compliments the game wonderfully.

The Kvetch

This game, like many adventure games from the 90s, commits the sin of making the player tediously hunt for pixels. There are content and progression vital items that are so miniscule that they’re damn near impossible to see. It got so bad that I eventually turned to guides ONLY to figure out WHAT I was looking for.

Do you see those four orange pixels on the tip of the head? That’s a heart, go figure.

The voice acting is really hit or miss. Ellison and the other main cast members kill it. But the other bit characters don’t get the same treatment. Some of them are comically bad and kind of break me out of the reverie.

Alright, I’m just gonna say this. Benny, the ape man-thing, had a scene that got cut where he eats a baby. It was only as a shadow on the wall but it was going to be sickening and a sign of his total moral degradation. It could have been a fantastic dark ending to his story but is not in the final release.

The Verdict

If you’ve got the stomach for the viscerally and mentally grotesque and patience for an older game then this game will do you fine. As I said, it’s not really fun and it takes the right kind of person to draw entertainment from it. But if you’re ready to look into the saturnine heart of humanity then you can get it on Good Old Games or Steam for six dollars. I would say that Dreamer’s Guild did a fantastic job and created a short story you can play.

Next Week: Prison Architect

Lisa: The First (PC)

Trigger warning: the main theme of Lisa: The First and child abuse. Although there’s no overt depiction of such abuse the overall experience and hints can be incredibly distressing.

An abused young girl walks out of her broken home and into the realm of her broken mind. Maybe she can put something back together. Maybe she can fight back against the encroaching darkness moving in on her psyche. Maybe there’s no fixing what’s been smashed and ripped apart. Join her as she wanders and explores her mindspace.

History

Lisa was created by Austin Jorgensen, known as Dingaling at the time of release. At the time the company was called Dingaling Productions but is now LOVEBRADgames. It was made in RPG Maker 2003 which is strange considering it’s an adventure game. The game is very much like Yume Nikki (Dream Diary) made in RPG Maker 2003 by developer Kikiyama, a series based on the dreams of a social recluse. Except this one is about social isolation via parental abuse instead of a sort of self-imposed exile.

Lisa: The First was released on October 9th, 2012. It’s competition was Dishonored (PC, XBox 360, and PS3), Hotline Miami (PC), and He-Man: The Most Powerful Game in the Universe (iOS).

Experiences

The whole time I played Lisa: The Painful I was haunted by Lisa but had no idea who she was. The Painful only offered cryptic answers but I wanted to know ‘Who is Lisa?’ I knew that she was related to Brad, The Painful’s main character, in some way. That she’s related to Buzzo, Brad’s rival, in some way. That Brad is stricken with sorrow when he thinks about her. But no true answers to what happened to her or who she is. Those answers are more easily derived from this game, Lisa: The First. Each game like a ripple in a pond, growing further and further from the locus of Lisa’s pain.

Gameplay

Lisa is an adventure game where Lisa explores a bizarre and hellish mindscape to find items that she can use to further progress in different areas. Occasionally beset by block puzzles, trade sequence quests, and traversing areas filled with disgusting Marty spiders the game is mostly about exploration. It’s just about going around and seeing things. Seeing what abuse looks like and what Lisa’s relationship with Marty, her abusive father, is like.

Step one, escape the house.

So explore, collect items, witness terrible visions, and get chided by Marty while trying to find meaning to the madness.

Step two, existential torment.

The Gush

The visuals in this game are top notch. While not particularly visually impressive they evoke a definite and disturbing raw emotional response from the player. From the disgusting bile in the bile world to the Marty’s face marque background it’s all pretty disturbing.

And just, this. This exists. Oh god.

The game is short and does what it sets out to do and says what it sets out to say quickly. Not disorientingly quick but quick enough to not overstay its welcome. It’s a punch to the gut that knocks the wind clean out of you in a marvelous way.

The Kvetch

The Marty spiders are very annoying enemies. They generally come as a sort of puzzle in which they move around in patterns and Lisa must traverse the area while dodging the spiders. That’s fine, frustrating but overall fine. What sucks is when you’re exploring an area and you have those damn hellbeasts chasing you. It’s really difficult to determine where they’re going to move and therefore how to avoid them.

Also, it’s just terrifying.

The Verdict

Very much like my evaluation of I have I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream I would never describe this game as fun. It’s not fun, although it is entertaining in segments, for the most part this game is all about human misery. It’s a marvelous and compelling exploration into the world of abuse and it’s free so it’s really worth a play. So the next time you feel like being spooked or wanting to be totally miserable then I suggest giving Lisa: The First a try.

Next Week: I guess I brought it up so I should talk about I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream

Days I Need Off

So… I work for a political organization and Election day has been coming up and I’ve been really busy. So… I’ll get back on this next week. I assure you, this is certainly not in part because I don’t know what to review after Lisa: The First. Not at all.

Dungeon Defender (The Kongregate Flash Game One, Accept no Substitutes.)

Ages ago you were the terror of the surface world. Close to total conquest the cowardly mages of the world wrought a spell that trapped you far beneath the earth. Deep below you’ve been gathering allies, minions, and loot to prepare your campaign to retake the surface. Now is the time to begin that campaign. Unfortunately for you, the armies of the overworld were prepared for such an invasion and are sending their heroes to take your gems. Without which you’ll lack the necessary wealth to pay the salary of your allies or bribe certain salacious guardians along the way. Marshal your forces and prepare your traps to keep your fortress safe while you enact your revenge.

History

Dungeon Defender was made my Tom Delorenzi of Grey Hound Games fame. A studio most known for an iOS port of the Gemcraft series — and with a website not updated since 2012. It seems like Dungeon Defender was one of the first games of Delorenzi’s that met widespread release on the website Kongregate.

As you can see in the title image, Dungeon Defender was released in 2008. It’s a Flash Game so it’s hard talking about competition.

Experience

I’m the kind of guy who keeps going back to a game, often long after I’ve finished it. I was wondering why I keep coming back to Dungeon Defender and I’ve found that it’s shockingly verbose for such a simplistic seeming game. Between the different villains you can play as, the ability trees they can put points into, and the different strategies you can employ. Now… I just wish that these differences had a more concrete impact… because I just keep using the same strategy under all these circumstances and I keep winning.

Gameplay

Dungeon Defender is a tower defense strategy game where you’ve got to coordinate your forces to withstand an onslaught of so-called heroes. You do this by digging through tunnels, placing traps in your opponents’ path, placing monster nests, and send your own avatar to dish out heavy damage on their own. Heroes will spawn in through portals on the map and they will take the most direct route to your fortress. Whether that’s through a bunch of lairs or around a giant maze they’ll do it — be careful about digging things out because tunnel walls cannot be placed once removed. Should a hero walk on a lair with no monster in it that lair will be destroyed and will have to be rebuilt, costing valuable gold.

Placing your lairs tactically is the name of the game considering gold is such a limited resource. Need gold fast? Some of the tunnel wall chunks are lined with ores which can be pawned when your peons dig them out. Lairs contain monsters who will fight until they die. Fear not, another will take its place before long. Monsters are seperated into fliers — who can fly over walls or otherwise phase through them somehow, melee mashers who duke it out with whoever gets close, and ranged monsters who will support and fire ranged attacks at nearby enemies. You can also place support buildings that raise the stats of the monsters of adjacent lairs in completely imperceptible ways.

As you can imagine, your peons cannot dig through steel walls.

Every wave of enemies you defeat earns you gold, and every bit of gold leftover at the end of a round earns interest. But.. not spending enough gold to survive the round is a dangerous preposition. Your avatar starts every round at your fortess is an able fighter. If sometimes fragile, who need not fear death. Should you avatar die he’ll return to life at your fortress after his brief stint with death.

The Gush

I don’t know what it is that I like about the simple sprite designs but I find them a delight. From the tiny goblins to the giant heroic bears I think they look great for a set of pixels. They only move mildly with the the facsimile of animation but I love it anyway.

Every level has a new gimmick. Something that really shakes up the nature of gameplay and gives the player an opportunity to get really far ahead. From neutral nests defending ancient treasures to a mission where enemy monsters attack your fortress it’s a great way to make each level special.

Gimmicks like the houses in the final level sending a gold to the coffers when destroyed.

The Kvetch

The music is a special kind of bad. It might be a 2 minute long loop, maximum. And its tone is completely unrelated to the events of the game. It sounds like something that should be playing out of a music box. Not something that punctuates a campaign is deep villainy.

It’s a small thing but having to manually dig out every chunk of wall takes a lot of time and is simply annoying. If only there was a way to select multiple chunks of wall to be designated for digging out at once. Sadly, no such thing exists.

Flying enemies are a necessary evil in this game. It’s important to have them to mix things up but they ignore the maze paths that you’ve made and make a b-line for your fortress from the gate. They cannot be attacked by normal melee monsters but can be attacked by ranged monsters and manticore flying monsters. So… if you’re a death knight, the melee avatar, then you’re gonna have a bad time as you stonewall these elven wizards but can’t actually damage them. Desperately trying to scrabble together enough money to set some ranged lairs. Perhaps if there was a warning as to which waves of enemies would be ranged then it would be on the player to prepare but at this point it’s just a matter of memorization.

The support buildings are really powerful but their effect seems largely invisible. Apparently they’re instrumental to optimal strategy and their efficient placement will make your monsters much more powerful… but it doesn’t seem that way. You gotta make that seem impressive, you gotta make me want to use these buildings that do not produce cool monsters that beat up my enemies. They have no flair.

The Verdict

This game is a great way to kill an idle afternoon. Although it’s got a couple of cheap shots and simply lacks polish the overall experience of placing lairs and watching enemies come to their doom is satisfying and fun. Just like all the games in this series it’s completely free. Just going to show that a decent game doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg.

Next Week: Lisa The First

Au Sable (PC)

Sable — at least I think that’s the character’s name, I don’t know for sure there’s no clarification — is um… adventuring. Well the story in the readme says that she looking for the lost city of Harmonia. Unarmed and unarmored but accompanied by the two eyes of a god, she will do anything to reach the sunken fortress.

History

Another Benjamin Braden game, another nightmare. You might remember him as the creator of All of Our Friends are Dead — my review in the link. Braden, known online as Amon26, has made several games based on his intense and vivid nightmares. Giving anyone the opportunity to take a walk through these sinister dreams and finally fight back against the monstrous beasts that haunt the dark corners of his mind.

Au Sable was released in November 2009. It’s competition was Braid (PSN), Left 4 Dead 2 (PC and XBox 360), and Assassin’s Creed 2 (PS3 and XBox 360).

Experiences

Now, it’s unfair to compare games… but I’m gonna do it anyway. And this is for October’s spookiness so which game is scarier? It’s a tough thing to judge because they’re so similar but AoOFaD has a much more terrifying and ineffable world. The rough animation of the bosses and uknowable nature of the situation is pretty frightening. That being said, Au Sable seems like there’s some sort of grand design. It’s not just a nightmare, it’s a nightmare with a story. There’s something to be lost, it’s not just a bizarre hellscape. The monsters of Au Sable seem to be connected to something instead of just monsters for monsters sake, and they look more purposefully designed. In the end I would say that AoOFaD is truly scarier but that Au Sable is the superior game.

They’ve both got mysterious text but Sable has identifiable objects.

Gameplay

Au Sable is a pretty simple action platformer. You can move, jump, and eventually get the ability to fire weapons. There’s really not much to it. You just keep moving until you find the next place to go, sometimes it’s a little easy to get lost. The other main mechanic of the game is that Sable can use the eyes that follow her to activate switches and open doors — it’s quite bizarre that she can’t activate these switches without the assistance of a god.

The Gush

The monsters designs in this game are simply great . The Hunters and other various hellbeasts rival Splatterhouse in grotesqueness. There’s only one boss but their absence is supplemented by incredibly haunting god-like idols. And the enemy placement is superior than AoOFaD, much fewer enemies in places that will blind side you.

I don’t know what these god eyes are but I goddam love them. It’s interesting to be haunted by this greater power but I don’t know if I can trust their influence. I do wish though that I had gotten a greater idea of what they are and why they’ve been sent — I suppose because the deity wants me to continue.

The sound, music, and art do a marvelous job at creating a moody creepy atmosphere that builds a definite sense of dread. A few jump scares get thrown in there for good measure but they’re not so intense that they overwhelmed me.

The tentacle pursuit scene scared the hell out of me.

The Kvetch

The shotgun and machine gun are pretty good weapons but what sucks is that the standard configuration of the game comes with no cross-hair. Braden did it to represent her unfamiliarity with the weapon. I think that’s a really interesting idea but it makes the game very difficult to play. Perhaps the cross-hair becoming more opaque the more monsters she defeats would create a gradual difficulty curve, and strike a good balance between themeing and gameplay ease. Thankfully the cross-hair can be enabled by pressing the backspace key.

Seriously, shooting without the cross-hair is damn near impossible.

I heard something about multiple endings but I have no idea how to find anything but the one I keep getting. I’ve also heard that the most recent version of the game makes it impossible to unlock it… and that would suck. This is all hearsay because I couldn’t verify it myself but if this is the case then that’s a serious oversight.

The Verdict

Au Sable is a decently fun and compact game. I was able to beat it in a mere 30 minutes but I had a helluva time. Like all of the games in this series so far, Au Sable is totally free and available to download on the independent game wiki. It’s a nice way to spend 30 minutes getting absolutely spooked this Halloween season.

Next Week: Dungeon Defender

Sonny 1 and 2 (Flash Game)

 

In a modern world where magic is real and the undead are commonplace you assume control of one of the legion of the undead. But you are not a nameless shambling monster. You are Sonny, with a mind all your own. You’ve come to on a ship alongside a blind man bent on mentoring you. His mentorship is cut short by the by the bullets of the Zombie Pest Control Incorporation — or ZPCI for short. With his final moments he gives Sonny a tape that he says is certain to help him. Sonny takes the tape to civilization meeting the acquaintance of a ZPCI medic who is secretly a zombie in full gear, a fellow by the name of Veradux.

History

The Sonny series was created by Flash game veteran Krin. Known best for his Senjid series, his games generally involve ability trees, straight forward quests, unanswered mysteries, and equipment as character advancement. Popular on sites like Kongregate and Armor Games — some content is locked to the Armor Games client which makes sense considering Krin is a business partner with Armor Games. It is believed by fans that Sonny 3, coming out later this October, will reveal a lot of the questions in the Sonny series.

Sonny 1 was released on December 28th, 2007 and Sonny 2 was released on December 19th, 2008. They had competition like Beowulf: The Game (PSP), Knights: Journey of Dreams (Wii), Dissidia: Final Fantasy (PSP), and Kingdom Hearts RE: Chain of Memories.

Experiences

When I was younger I found the story of the Sonny games incredibly engrossing. What was on that tape? Why was a blind man on that ship? Did he revive Sonny? Why do Sonny and Veradux have sentience when most zombies don’t? Great questions but in my recent playthrough it seems more obvious that these questions may never be answered. And if they are I’m not confident that it will be satisfying. Between Sonny’s sudden and murderous mood swings, paradoxical character dialogue, and the sheer number of questions I have at the end of Sonny 2 I have serious doubts. I guess what I’m saying is play this game young and forget this section if you want to enjoy the games fully.

Gameplay

Sonny 1 and 2 are turn based RPGs where Sonny must mow through hordes of enemies and bosses with the accompaniment of AI companions. Sonny can acquire a series of abilities based on his class and how the player distributes his ability points along his skill trees. These skills can then be equipped to one of eight slots on an action ring around the opponent, or around Sonny or his allies for buffs.

It’s tricky to explain but really slick in execution.

Every area has a shop where Sonny can acquire sub-par gear, fight training fights where Sonny can get that sweet sweet XP and get gear that actually matters, and fight in plot fights where Sonny can continue the story with yet another fight. Sonny 2 also introduces the ability to alter AI companions basic behavior by setting their ‘stance’. This subtly alters their AI and sets them to be more or less offensive or defensive in their ability use.

The Gush

Each of the classses does a good job of being effective in combat in their own way. Figuring out how they work and what ability combinations work together are fun and satisfying. It’s a pity though that The Hydraulic class is locked to the Armor Games version but considering the relationship between Krin and Armor Games it’s not surprising. And just for the record, my preferred class is the Psychological.

I don’t know why but my favorite character in the series is Ed Spencer. Don’t remembe Ed? Haven’t met him yet?

He’s that guy by the blue glowing thingy.

Motherfucker doesn’t give a shit that he’s talking to a goddam zombie. He just wants to get from A to B on the train. He’s got artifacts for sale and I’m not gonna bother haggling and I’m definitely not going to steal from this guy because he’s the only living thing on this train and that frightens me.

Even when the train derails and he’s all messed up he’s pretty stoic about the experience

The voice acting, cut-scenes, and visuals are overall far better than I would expect from a flash game. Even though Veradux will often say, “I’m gonna knock you silly” three times in some fights the dialogue is usually well delivered if simple. I’m tickled pink hearing Veradux say, “Agh! There’s a knife in my face… again!”

 

The Kvetch

Now if only the character motivations made any goddam sense. Sonny seems like a decent guy but sometimes it seems he chooses to murder defenseless people simply because RPG combat demands that his opponents die. Even though battles commonly end with some dialogue and a fade to black. I just can’t draw a bead on who Sonny or any of the characters really is and because of that I don’t know who to root for or why.

I have no idea what my allies are capable of. Well, I know what their techniques are but I don’t know how the stats conferred by their equipment alter the effectiveness of these techniques. I keep giving them higher leveled equipment but I have no idea whether its helping anything or not.

As far as I’m concerned the story is total word salad at this point. I don’t know who Louis was. I don’t know why the tape was important. I don’t know why Sonny and a few other undead are sentient. And at this point and I just don’t care. Most of this story telling is really tropey and created with the thought of , “Oh man, wouldn’t it be cool!” Wouldn’t it be cool if the mentor in the first game was a blind man who could smell zombies? Wouldn’t it be cool if there was this mysterious object that holds the key to Sonny’s future? Sonny 3 is going to have to try really hard to tie everything together.

The Verdict

The game is pretty good! I might not like the story any more but the systems are so deep that I’m more than willing to overlook that. I love tinkering around with my kit and build especially in the face of special and unique bosses or interesting enemies. I’m actually pretty excited for Sonny 3 to come out. I hope it’s good and ties everything together but I have serious doubts. Like the others in this series, this game is completely free.

Next Week: Au Sable

Madness Interactive (Flash Game)

Somewhere in Nevada the world has gone mad and you have chosen to fight back against injustice. The Sheriff is the ringleader of this circus but you’ll have to fight through hell and back to defeat him. Whether with your fists or scavenged weapons use your bullet time and perks to avoid harm and dish it out on the way to the Sheriff’s office.

History

The Madness series started off as an adobe flash animation series by the Newgrounds creator Krinkels. The Madness series started on July 25th of 2002, kicking off a series that would continue until July of 2013. Each one depicting the iconic cross-faced men fighting in progressively larger and larger melees — the benchmark for badass for every 14 year old on the internet. In between the 4th and fifth installments of the series Krinkels teamed up with game make, Flecko to create a game based on his series. Complete with the mindless violence that the madness series had been predicated on.

Madness Interactive was released on August 26th, 2003. It’s competition was Soul Calibur II (PS2, XBox, and GCN), Silent Hill 3 (PS2), and F-Zero GX (GCN).

Experiences

I remember the days of sneaking this in during class in middle school. One eye on the bad guys and the other on the teacher to make sure I didn’t get caught. It was damn hard to play on a track pad but we did what we had to do to have fun during those dark times. Heck, I ended up playing the game before I saw the flash movies. Then came the mods. Most of them just had different weapon skins and backgrounds but a few changed the game significantly. I used to have the flash source files for a mod known as The Matrix: Rayne. Complete with dual wielding and multiple characters with unique stats. Sadly this sort of thing was lost to the ages, rediscovered but I haven’t been able to track down the browser independent version. I last found the full download 8 years ago but the link was dead. Now it’s time to go back to the original, let’s see if it holds up.

Gameplay

Madness Interactive is seperated into 3 basic modes, the campaign, experimentation, and challenges. Each mode is a 2-D side scrolling beat ’em up with guns that your player can recover from enemies. The player can also drop weapons while swinging them to hurl them at enemies with mixed results. When the screen gets crowded with fire-arm toting badies then the player can initiate bullet time to slow down gunfire and give the player more breathing room.

The campaign has you going through progressively more and more difficult levels with staged spawning enemies. Every level you complete gives you the option between one of three perks which can range from longer character reach to additional bullet time. Unfortunately the character only has 3 lives so you’d better make them count, you don’t have a lot of health.

Some of the perks are really useful, others… not so much.

The challenge modes are zombie attack, matrix mode, knife throwing, and laser dodging modes. They’re a little self explanatory but the point is that they offer a great change up to the normal gameplay. And they unlock cheats! Get all those cheat codes! You can use them during the campaign mode to make it a little less difficult but, you won’t unlock any campaign mode cheats with any other cheats enabled.

Experimental mode is how most people played the game. Full control, spawning in any weapon, spawning in bad guys, and just having fun.

The Gush

The challenge modes manage to be fun without relying on combat expertise. Half of them don’t even have opponents. Why is it important that they’re fun without combat? We’ll get to that…

The music in this game is really good. Between the moody music of the main menu and the ongoing music of the campaign mode it makes me feel slick as hell. I only wish I knew where to buy these tracks, I’d put hard money down on them.

The game comes with a lot of cool costume elements you can use to decorate your character. It’s something small but it’s fun to create a goofy looking Jesus with an eyepatch in a suit.

The Kvetch

Some of the perks like Golden Bullet are really interesting but others like First Aid (which restore the character’s incredibly low health) fall flat. It’s such a pain because the three available options are chosen at random so a run of bad luck can ruin your run.

The campaign is based more on memorizing enemy spawn points than quick reflexes and accuracy. The game moves so fast, the controls are so clumsy, and the bullet time is so limited that it’s goddam impossible to survive past the third level without knowing what’s coming.

Miss one shot and it’ll plunge you into hit-stun hell.

What’t not fun about the combat? The incredibly clumsy controls. I can scarcely aim at enemies because the mouse controls are overly sensitive. In a world where one missed shot means getting riddled with bullets and ending up in a life losing fiesta these clumsy controls are unacceptable.

The Verdict

My Rose Tinted glasses have failed me. I did not enjoy revisiting this game. Playing the online version is damn near impossible because if your cursor slides off of the frame then the game won’t respond to any controls until you get back on. Things get better in the full flash edition but good luck finding a good download — Flecko.net has been defunct for a good long time. If I didn’t find the SWF file in my old computer’s folder then I would not have been able to find it. Overall the campaign’s limited lives systems makes it uncomfortably difficult. But it’s not all bad chum, at least it’s free.

Next Week: The Sonny series.

Defend Your Castle (Browser Flash Game, iOS, and WiiWare)

An army surrounds your entire fortress nation, the enemies are at the gates. As they marshal their forces you must make use of your castle’s ancient guardian, the mysterious cursor spirit. It has the ability to manipulate things in reality, sending them flying into the air and then crashing back down. Otherwise unprepared for the assault you must manage and build more defenses using the blood of your enemies to fuel your war machines. — By which I mean I made this all up in order to justify the rules of a flash game.

History

Defend your Castle was made by XGen Studios, a Canadian indie game studio lead by one Skye Boyes. Fully founded in 2005 after Boyes’ browser games began to accumulate acclaim. Skye also took this time to drop out of the Computer Science field. XGen would go on to attempt to port Machinarium to WiiWare, an enterprise which would ultimately fail due to WiiWare’s resolution and memory limitations. Xgen would go on to release an updated multiplayer version of Defend Your Castle to WiiWare.

I would say that it looks pretty nifty… but a little too messy.

Defend your Castle was fully released in 2003. It’s competition was Samorost (Browser Flash game), .hack//infection Part 1 (PS2), and Call of Duty (PC).

Experiences

One of my favorite things in games is creating a perpetual motion machine. I know that sounds weirdly paradoxical, ‘your favorite part of a game is the part where you don’t have to play it anymore?’ And the answer is, yeah kind of. I love the point when the castle becomes this sort of self sustaining engine. With enough archers to defend the gates and enough engineers to repair it I kind of don’t have to do anything anymore. I let it go and watch the points roll in. There eventually comes a point where even the engine gets clogged and overwhelmed by the sheer number of attackers. But that just reveals the experience of watching entropy take its claim.

Gameplay

Defend Your Castle is a point and click browser game in which an array of stick people invade from the left side of the screen. Using the cursor you can move and manipulate them, sending them hurtling into the sky where they eventually land in a bloody fanfare. Every level they send more enemies toward the castle and eventually send different and more advanced enemies.

Ah, the days of the early castle before things spiral out of control.

Every one you destroy awards you with points — not dollars, gold, gems, or any other form of currency… just points — and these points can be spent to repair and upgrade your castle. Allowing you to build building like the Temple which allow you to brainwash — I MEAN — convert your enemies into loyal minions — I MEAN — citizens who can be put to work as archers who occasionally dispatch enemies automatically. Or to the mana pool where they can become wizards capable of casting devastating and useful spells.

The Gush

The sound design is really good. From the way the ambient music clashes with the sound of stick figures falling to their doom. To the annoyed plop they make when they survive a fall or the bizarre cackling laughter of the death spell. It all just sounds good.

To me, this game is all about that point the castle doesn’t need me to babysit it anymore. I kickstarted the engine and now it’ll run until it’s out of gas. The real challenge of the game is figure out how to reach that point.

The Kvetch

Trained archers, engineers, and wizards take a toll in the form of upkeep costs. Every day they cost points, and that’s fine. The problem is that you need enough points to cover their costs at the beginning of your day, not at the end. If you train too many archers then you’ll get charged for upkeep costs, and then lose all the archers you couldn’t afford to pay with the points you had at the beginning of the day. I don’t know how many you lose, I’m not sure if it’s proportional, but they still charge you the cost of the people who leave. It’s really frustrating and it can kill a good run if you spend too much on wall upgrades buildings.

Escalating enemies are the only thing this game has in terms of a difficulty curve. Now, the guys with the battering rams, they’re cool. The problem comes with the giants. They can only be slowed down with clicks and cannot be flung so you either have to wait for a lucky arrow to dispatch them or have a mana pool to cast the instant death spell. If you don’t have the mana pool by the point they arrive — and you, the player have no idea when that will happen — then you’re basically screwed.

They also do a lot of damage, as you can imagine.

Speaking of different enemies. There’s one that sort of rubs me the wrong way. There’s a suicide bomber enemy because this was 2003 and we all thought it was cool to be edgy. But the thing that really bothers me about them is that every other stick figure is white with a black outline and the suicide bomber is all black. They’re apparently referred to as suicide ninjas but it just seems really off-putting and weird. Why are these reported ninja blowing themselves up instead of sneaking in? Why was it necessary to visually differentiate them in this way?

The Verdict

First things first, I am SUPER nostalgia blind for this one. I’m certain that the only reason I went back to it is because I’ve played it before. I’d be genuinely curious what a newcomer thought about the game, playing it for the first time, because it’s really rudimentary. That being said, for the flash games of the time it’s a real powerhouse which comes at the great price of completely free. There are far worse ways of burning an afternoon than playing this. And the WiiWare version looks fantastic, I’d really love to go a round or too waggling wii-motes with some friends.

Next Week: Madness Interactive.

Pony Island (PC, Mac, and Linux)

After long days of purging the wicked it’s nice to just take a load off, walk down to the local arcade, and play some Pony Island. Let your worries slip away as you hop over gates and annihilate your enemies with deadly lasers. Some say the game isn’t complete but how can a game so perfect be unfinished? Enough talk of doubt. Now, insert your soul to continue and get lots of tickets from the Pony Island machine.

This new DLC policy is really anti-consumer.

 

History

Pony Island was made by Daniel Mullins for the Ludum Dare 48 game jam with the theme being ‘Entire Game on One Screen’. It earned high praise at the game jam and inspired Mullins to try to get it on Steam through Steam Greenlight. Mullins wanted to make a game that defied player’s expectations, a game that almost didn’t want to be played.

The Greenlight campaign was successful and Pony Island was released on January 4th, 2016. It’s competition was Oxenfree (PC, Mac, and XBox One), Darkest Dungeon (PC and Mac), and That Dragon, Cancer (PC, Mac, and Droid).

Experiences

Play this game blind, people. The less you know, the better. I watched Jesse Cox’s playthrough of it on an idle Saturday before I played it and it kind of ruined the experience for me. It’s a fine playthrough, that’s not the problem, the problem is that it’s a game meant to be experienced firsthand on one’s own. Naturally, this review will have the lightest spoilers possible and intentionally obfuscate anything important. So once you’re done reading this, speak of it to no one, immediately purchase the game, and then finish it in one sitting — the clock is ticking before you get spoiled from somewhere! Well, that’s a little extreme. What I’m really saying is be careful how much you look up about this game.

Gameplay

Pony Island is split between pony platforming sections and puzzle sections. Pony platforming consists of jumping, gliding, and shooting lasers at enemies — don’t fret if you die, it just takes you to the beginning of the stage. It seems simple at first but the mouse controls, left click for jump/glide and right click for lasers, can be a little tricky.

Puzzle sections consist of navigating pseudo-code segments. You can use certain commands blocks to change the course of the cursor through the code. Therefore changing the operations of the block and allowing you to do whatever it is you’re doing. That being said, why are you messing around in the code? Isn’t that, like, cheating or something?

Someone worked hard on this and you’re ruining it, you cruel thing.

The Gush

The developer of Pony Island — um, in the game canon, not Mullins himself — is a pretty tragic character. I was genuinely sympathetic to his desires to be loved and appreciated despite his methods and goals.

This game is weird and silly and fantastical. I almost busted a gut laughing.

Oops… um… may bad.

The game sits firmly in the Goldilocks zone of difficulty, not too hard and not too easy. The puzzles are quite intuitive and the platforming controls tripped me up at first but I eventually got the hang of them. The only thing that I needed outside help on was how to find all the secret hidden tickets.

Speaking of hidden tickets! For all you completionists out there, there are hidden secret tickets. If you’ve got the inclination you can get all 24. I’m certain something good will happen if you find them all.

The bosses in this game were fantastic. There’s a puzzle boss, a platforming boss, and then a boss who’s something different entirely. They present an incredibly fun challenge.

The Kvetch

There’s not a lot of gameplay that’s related to the story. It overall feels less like a game and more like a story with gameplay elements attached. The game is fine, I liked the story, but I’m not exactly certain what they’re doing in the same room with each other.

I’m just not exactly sure what all this has to do with itself.

Is there anything more annoying that being shown up by someone? There’s a counterpart character in this game who’s clearly more powerful than you and knows way more about what’s going on. He exhibits bizarre abilities but refuses to explain anything about his abilities or who he is. I guess that’s his character but I wanted to wring some truth or meaning from him.

The Verdict

I would say that Pony Island is well worth someone’s money and time. It’s only $5 on Steam and even though I was spoiled hard I was still able to have fun with it. I feel like it’s got a lot to say about game development and the act of creation. And if you don’t care about that then hey, at least there are cool puzzles.

Next Week: Defend Your Castle

Party Hard (PC, Mac, Linux, PS4, XBox One)

Sleep is important. We spend a third of our lives wrapped in dream’s sweet embrace. Without it we go mad. It is the year 2000 and your character just wants to sleep… but the party next door is so loud. He’d sworn he’d lain the knife and mask down for good but the sleepless haze clouds his judgement. His goal is simple, kill the party by killing its guests by whatever means at his disposal. And once he’s got the taste for blood back… he wants more.

Three in the morning? I’d be pretty steamed too.

History

Party Hard was developed by Pinokl Games, a small Ukrainian studio, and published by tinyBuild games — you might remember them for making No Time to Explain. Party Hard is their first major non-mobile release. Mobile titles they’ve released include Real Steel and Fruit Story — and they don’t look like games I would want to play.

Party Hard was released on August 25th, 2015. It’s competition was Shadowrun: Hong Kong (PC, Mac, and Linux), Grow home (PS4), and um… Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (PC, PS3, PS4, XBox 360, XBox One) — a bold move to go up against the biggest release of the year.

Experiences

Between the nonsensical story, the bizarre premise, and the simple visuals I figured this game was gonna be silly. One thing that I did not expect was just how difficult the game was going to be. I’m not even going to avoid comparisons with Hotline Miami because these games are similar in a lot of ways. Party Hard puts its own silly spin on the ultra-violence that Hotline awakened into the world. Where Hotline is visceral and personal, Party Hard is slapstick and absurd. But where Hotline was tight, smooth, and clean Party Had throws in a frustrating dose of ‘lol, so random’. Sometimes new guests arrive or leave, the character has a very slow movement speed, and restarting after level failure can take an infuriating amount of time.

Gameplay

Your goal is simple, be the last man standing on the dance floor, but executing it isn’t easy. Quick with a knife, most party goers don’t stand a chance against The Killer. The Killer might have a penchant for murder but he’s not actually too tough so police officers or rowdy guests can take him down pretty easily. He’s also more of the Mike Meyer’s stalker type so he doesn’t move too quickly, but he can use level shortcuts to escape or close the gap. Be careful, if you use an escape route too many times it’ll stop working.

Learning the map and character AI is imperative to your success. You’ll want to know your ins and outs to evade authorities and keep your activities quiet. The Killer can stash bodies in certain areas so use that to keep revelers in the dark about what you’re doing. You can also poison bowls of punch to kill surreptitiously, but once the well is poisoned they’re sure to know. It’s difficult to keep track of everything that’s going on but the more parts you eliminate the simpler the machine gets.

As you can see, it’s all a lot to take in.

Once party goers get keen to what’s going on they’re going to call the cops. Cops will arrest you on sight and if they run into a guest who’s seen you killing they will be able to track you down. Don’t bother fighting the police, I guess The Killer’s too rusty stab a battle ready foe.

You’d expect someone so intimidating to be better at fighting, not the case.

The Gush

The music in this game is positively dancy and 80s as hell. It really carries me through the experience. The sting of playing a level over and over again for 45 minutes is numbed by the knowledge that I will be listening to sick tunes the whole time.

I think I’m a sucker for unlockable characters. This game has got three characters to unlock and I’m instinctively excited. Only problem was that the game was too difficult for me to unlock any of them. The unlock mechanisms aren’t even difficult, just grindy. They all play differently for instance the Ninja is stealthy and the Chainsaw Psycho attracts cops like ugly on an ape.

The game frames the story as a police detective investigating the series of killings. It’s a campy romp through every Lethal Weapon cop story and I found it quite humorous.

Fantastic pixel art punctuates the silly story.

The Kvetch

The hit detection on the stab attack is dicey at best. I had a really hard time determining when I was parallel to a target or when they were near enough to attack. Brandishing the knife will also alert people to your murderous intent leading to police and other nastiness. Every stab needs to count but its hard to count on your stab.

It wasn’t immediately apparent when party goers could see me or what activities would alarm them. Poisoning the punch has no animation and would sometimes alert nearby guests and sometimes wouldn’t. It’s also difficult to determine what angles people can see you through windows.

I get this game is not serious but when I mentioned that escape routes can only be used so many times this is only because Mario, as in the Super Mario of Nintendo fame, breaks them. He comes out of a sewer line, either through a manhole cover or a toilet, bumbles over to the window or whatever and smacks it with his wrench and then it doesn’t work. I think it’s supposed to be funny but it just struck me as ‘LUL SO RANDOM’. It would have been just as easy for there to be an animation or dialogue box to explain the ladder is broken, or the tunnel collapsed.

Every level has a dance floor and I still have no idea how to handle it. It’s a lot of people all crowded together, so many watching eyes. Some characters leave but it seems like some never do. This leads me to rush in and invite failure. Either I luck out and kill them all before any of them can get to a phone or I get caught with a handful of victims left.

The Verdict

Party Hard is… okay. I found it fun, I don’t regret my purchase, I liked giving Pinokl 13 dollars because I can see promise in this game. A little more testing and polish would have turned Party Hard into a genuinely good and consistently enjoyable experience. As it stands though, I can only recommend it to someone who would appreciate the the LUL SO RANDOM humor and semi-puzzle mechanics. It’s also only 13 dollars so nothing ventured nothing lost

Next Week: Pony Island