Killer 7 (PS2 and Gamecube)

Introduction

It’s the near future and the world has had it up to here with terrorism’s shit. In order to combat terrorism the world has united, eliminated air travel by creating trans-oceanic roadways, and eliminaed free access to the internet. A group of terrorists, known as Heaven Smiles, are able to infiltrate a diplomatic meeting at the UN and detonate an explosive. The trick being, they are the explosives. The United States and Japan are now embroiled in a battle to acquire the Yakumo Cabinet Policy, a document which is said to hold the secrets of a perfect government. Not that it matters to the Killer 7, they’re just assassins hired by the US to cripple the Japanese effort. Play as a multiple personality cornucopia where the changes in personality also change the physical body. Plunge into the depths of utter insanity in Suda 51s break out hit, Killer 7.

These are the heaven smile in their natural form. Would you really call that a smile?

History

Killer 7 was written, designed, and directed by Goichi Suda, better known as Suda 51. It was part of the Capcom 5 project which was a Capcom’s plan to release 5 games for the Gamecube — alhtough this one would get ported to the Playstation 2. Overseeing all this was none other than Shinji Mikami of Resident Evil fame. Capcom wanted to make a new intellectual property because they thought the market was getting stale — and taking a look at 2005 the only new IP I saw was Psychonauts.

Unlike most games that were released on both the Gamecube and the Playstation 2 the Gamecube version is graphically superior. Textures are sharper and animations have more detail, especially the reload animations.

Fun Fact: Suda was very interested in professional wrestling, film noir, and multiple personalities so he put all of those topics into a blender and hit puree.

Killer 7 was released on July 7th, 2005. It’s competition was Dungeon Siege II (PC), Destroy all Humans (PS2 and XBox), and Battlefield 2 (PC).

Experiences

I was drawn into the game originally by a fascination with multiple personality syndrom — partially inspired by Stephen King’s The Drawing of the Three. I wanted to see how the personas interacted with each other, or what their attitudes toward each other were. Unfortunately, although there is some character development, the game is heavily plot driven. I was sort of disappointed but it just made me more determined to find character traits wherever I could and that I might be able to glean more from the characters by studying the plot.

Gameplay

Killer 7 is an on-rails shooter, this means that all movement is strictly controlled. The player can go forward and backward, changing directions, or taking turns are certain junctions but has no free movement — hence being on rails like a roller coaster. Then the player can shoot enemies by entering first person mode — because shooter.

You’ve got seven killers — hence the name– to choose from at any given time. Most of them play differently except for Coyote and Dan — I guess that’s supposed to represent their rivalry. Some of them are locked at the beginning of each level and are unlocked by killing Heaven Smile or hitting a Micro Smile enemy. You can change them on the fly by using the pause menu. And don’t worry if they die, Garcian can collect their body bag and return them to life — but if Garcian dies then it’s game over.

It’s really a matter of which you prefer although they’re all necessary to beat the game.

Most of the game is gated by puzzles — to Zoe’s disappointment, there will be no Latin to translate. Most puzzles are just, “go here, pick up this thing, take it over here,” or, “Use the thief to pick the lock,” but every once and awhile the game gets clever. These puzzles and enemies safeguard Soul Shells which the Smiths need to reach the boss of the level.

The Gush

There are characters in the game who are like ghosts who exist to help the Smiths. One of them is an unassuming little ghost of Harman’s first kill. This guy talks straight– or at least straighter than any of the others– and does his best to be helpful without prejudice. He’s got no hard feelings about the whole killing him thing.

The weirdest thing about him though is that his shirt says something different whenever you see him.

The enemy design is actually quite clever. Some Smiles can only be killed by their weak point, some Smiles are giant rolling balls with faces that are their weak points. You never know what the game is going to throw at you next.

I really like the cell shaded and simple colored style of the games art. It gives the game this sort of otherworldly feeling, like it’s just off.

The way the wall is wall papered creates a stark contrast to me in the totally black non-textured wall.

If you like black humor then you’ll probably get a laugh out of this game. I’m looking at you Russian Roulette scene.

Just… the absolute stoic look on his face.

The soundtrack swaps a lot from moody ambience to high intensity techno. Either way it raises the tension of the scene, making me jump at shadows, wondering when an enemy is going to attack.

The dialogue of non-living characters is some sort of garbled noise with subtitles. Sometimes I could swear I heard a word from the subtitles in the conversation. I was always trying to figure out what the original lines were. I really liked it but it’s generally not a popular opinion.

The Kvetch

This game has got a fascination with blood. Killing a Heaven Smile without shootings its weak point causes a line of text with a blood pun to appear in the upper right hand corner of the screen. Thin blood is collected by shooting limbs off of or hitting the weak points of Heaven Smile. It’s used to heal the Smiths or use their abilities. Thick blood is acquired the same way and used to level up Smith abilities. You can only earn so much Thick blood in each level so it’s important to get as much as you can to keep the Smiths up to snuff as the game goes on. Farming Thick blood is the most boring and dull part of the game and I don’t know why it’s even there.

I mean, this game really likes its blood.

The plot is kind of interesting but super hard to follow. Some of that’s from the wonky translation but most of it is just not mentioned.

The Verdict

If you’re in the mood for immersing yourself in a mythos then this is a mythos worth immersing yourself in. The game is decently fun on its own but if you want the full story then you’re going to have to dig a little deeper online or play through it again with the subtitles on. There’s a book explaining the more nuanced parts of the plot called Hands in the Killer 7 and that explains everything really well.

 Next Week: Twisted Metal Black

The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age

Introduction

 There have been a few Lord of the rings games, from the disastrous Super Nintendo title –which should have been called Hobbits in Caves: The Game– to the Playstation 2 series of hack and slash games. It was time for The Lord of the Rings to be more than a game where you kill orcs one after another in real time. It was time for The Lord of the Rings to be a game where you killed orcs one after another with TURN BASED COMBAT. You play as a group of adventurers who totally aren’t the fellowship of the Ring — I mean, you don’t have a hobbit character so it’s totally not the same– and you must go… find Boromir for some reason. And then go do other things too… it’s… weird.

This is Berethor, the main character. Now that I look at this guy I don’t think he ever smiles. He’s actually got that scowl bolted to his face.

History

This game was made by Electronic Arts — put the torches and pitch forks down, you can go commit mob violence after this is done. They got Steve Gray on board, this guy worked on Final Fantasy VII and Parasite Eve, and he had wanted to make a Lord of the Rings RPG since the 90s so there was legitimate passion in this project.

EA owned the license to make games based on the movies and this created some weird snags in what they could depict. This meant that they could only use things that had been in the movies or WERE NOT in the books — this will important later.

Lord of the Rings: The Third Age was released on November 2nd 2004. It’s competition was Half-Life 2 (PC), Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines (PC), and Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (PS2).

Experiences

Gray said that he wanted this game to sort of dance around important events in the series, “You travel on a sort of “S” curve that weaves in and out of the path of the Fellowship through the story of the trilogy.” This meant that in moments that you’re closest to them you’d want to be doing the coolest things, right? That’s what I thought when I was 17. I wanted to fight the Balrog with Gandalf, defend Helm’s Deep, fight the Witch King of Angmar — which are all things you get to do in the game. But looking back on it, it seems so silly and so dumb.

It might be awesome to fight the Balrog but it’s established that Gandalf was the only one who held a candle to the being of fire and shadow– he’s really the only one in the in-game fight who can do any damage anyway. The Witch King was totally Eowyn’s fight, she had that guy’s number, and for some auburn haired dude with a sword and a shield to finish The Witch King off is just sort of insulting. I don’t know how it could have been done any other way but I think it might have been best not done at all.

So none-canon that it hurts.

Gameplay

The game is an RPG with turn based combat so there’s not much to talk about when it comes to the gameplay department. Each character has hit points and Action Points –mana points, basically– which they expend to use special abilities. Each of the characters follows Final Fantasy class design pretty closely. We got a warrior, red mage, blue mage, knight, thief, and… whatever Eaoden is — seriously he’s hard to encapsulate, it’s like the designers just gave him all the leftover abilities and called it good. You can have four party members out at any given time and can even switch them out in the middle of battles too.

That series of portraits in the upper right hand corner show what order the turns will be in.

Items are extremely valuable in this game. Although some are dropped by enemies you’ll mostly be relying on what you find in chests throughout the game. This game might not have given me potion paralysis — the reluctance to use items unless they’re truly needed– but it certainly didn’t help it either. Each character has unique equipment that actually alters their appearance.

What makes an RPG really shine is the story and the characters, in this department The Third Age is lacking hard. I struggle to remember any distinct traits about any of the characters and have a hard time remembering why their adventure was important for any reason other than that Fellowship thing being mighty important.

The Gush

Evil mode is the most original and incredible idea this game introduces. After you beat a chapter you can play through that chapter again in Evil Mode. Evil Mode is a series of fights where you play as the monsters fighting the heroes. Beating the good guys unlocks new equipment that just sort of teleports into your character’s inventory but the only thing that’s more awesome — even if it is dumb — than fighting the Balrog is being the Balrog.

“Pardon me, I think I’ll just pass if you don’t mind.”

Each character plays really differently, especially Eaoden — I mean, he’s got attacks that raise your opponents stats but do more damage. It’s really easy to make a team that matches your playstyle from the given characters.

The divergences between this game and the established series are actually pretty good. Helping the elves kill some orcs while they leave their homes is pretty cool. Killing Grima Wormtongue at a random Rohan town was sort of weird but not totally bad. You also take alternate routes through places Moria and other locations.

The Kvetch

Any dialogue voiced by a member of the Fellowship is either reused clips from the movie or was impersonated poorly. They got them into sound booths for the other games, I don’t know why they couldn’t do it for this one.

Attack animations are fluid and quick but spell animations take forever. I think an hour of gameplay was just waiting for Idrial or orcs to throw spells around. I would eventually stop using her spells just because their animations just took so damn long.

If I have to watch this troll beat his drum one more time…

When a character isn’t in combat they don’t get experience points. If you pick a team you’d best be ready to commit because those other shmucks are gonna get left in the experience point related dust. Character’s join at roughly the same level so they all get a fair shot but if you didn’t keep Elegost around then you can be sure that when you need his bow to fight someone then you won’t be having it.

I don’t know if it’s explained in the game, I didn’t catch it when I played through, but I had no idea what any of the stats did. Strength, Spirit, Constitution, Speed, and Dexterity aren’t exactly a good representation of what they do. I understand what Constitution and Strength do but what’s the difference between Speed and Dexterity and what does Spirit do at all?

The final boss is the fucking Eye of Sauron. There’s no real build up. You fight the Witch King and after he dies it’s just *bloop* fight this asshole. He’s big, got a lot of health, and is a total pushover. When he’s dead, cut to credits. It’s the dumbest thing in any Lord of the Rings game ever.

The Verdict

What it comes down to is that if fighting the Balrog alongside Gandalf doesn’t sound like the stupidest, canon breakingest, over the top thing that you’ve ever considered doing in a game then you’ll find this game palatable. Or at the very least, if you can look past doing stuff like that then there’s a solid RPG underneath.

Next Week: Killer 7

Kirby Superstar (SNES)

Introduction

When it says “8 games in one” they’re not kidding. Kirby’s got to save the world from Dedede– twice–, a giant bird, Meta-Night, and no Kirby game would be complete if he didn’t have to save the world from a being from another world, planet, or reality. Kirby’s got new copy abilities and new, more sophisticated, buddies to summon — Gooey, you knew you were on thin ice. Join gaming’s favorite pink puffball as he faces his most dangerous foes yet.

Where to start?

History

There seems to be a running trend now that Kirby games don’t have any development information. What I can say is that this game was released a year before Kirby’s Dream Land 3. I won’t say it looks better but it’s a much more complex and interesting game. It’s got six main campaigns and three minigames in contrast to Dreamland’s thirty levels. The art styles match the games very well but I feel like Superstar’s just looks better. Drop a comment if you’ve played them both and have a preference.

Kirby Superstar came out on September 20th, 1996. It’s competition was Tetris Attack (SNES), Phatasmagoria: Puzzle of the Flesh (PC), and The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall (PC).

Experiences

Despite the injection of plot I’ll admit that this game’s campaigns have some pretty weak and cookie cutter stories. Revenge of Meta Knight had the only story that really held my attention. Meta Knight and Kirby have been rivals for a long time but they’ve been known to team up every so often. I wanted to know what Meta Knight was swearing revenge for and it’s not really explained in the gameplay. Resting on the introduction screen shows  how the Halberd got created and why Meta Knight is attacking Dreamland — Why they don’t mention this in the game is a mystery to me.  As it turns out Meta Knight is conquering Dreamland because he disapproves of their “lazy lifestyle.”

Hey man, Kirby and Dedede ran a three part marathon in this game alone. Are they really that lazy?

The weirdest thing is that I really sympathized with Meta Knight on this one. I don’t agree with his methods but Dreamland should probably get its act together and do something with its existence. Dedede is the king, maybe he should do something besides trying to hoard all the food — which he does in every game for some reason.

Gameplay

Very similar to other Kirby games, Kirby eats enemies and copies their abilities. His goal in every campaign is to fight enemies and beat up some meany head who’s being a jerk. Unlike other Kirby games this game has a sense of progression. Certain campaigns are only unlocked by beating other campaigns.

Gooey can’t help or hurt you in this game because he hasn’t been invented yet. Instead of summoning Gooey Kirby can turn his copied power into a buddy. Kirby can only have one buddy at a time and this buddy will do everything in his power to beat up Kirby’s enemies — to greater or lesser degrees. The second player can also take control of this buddy. If you’re annoyed with your friends or the buddy in general you can press the buddy button again to turn the buddy into an object that confers the copied ability when consumed.

They’ve also all got… names. Hey, player 2, do you wanna play as Bonkers the ape man with a hammer? Why are you walking away?

The Gush

I hate banging on about the music all the time but the music in these games are really good. Games with bad music feel more drawn out and boring. Games with good music feel compressed, like all the bad or listless parts are forgotten because at least I had some sweet tunes to jam out to. And sweet tunes this game has.

I think this is the only game with an Earthbound reference in it. One of the treasures that you can find in the great Cave Offensive is a Mr. Saturn, of which there is a whole tribe in Earthbound — I love those big nosed guys.

Each of the different campaigns has a unique mechanic. The Great Cave Offensive has its treasure hunt — though it’s not necessary to find everything (We all know it is). Meta Knightmare introduces a time limit for each level — I guess Meta Knight disaproves of Kirby’s lazy pace. And in Milky Way Wishes Kirby unlocks his powers instead of getting them by inhaling his enemies — but… isn’t Kirby from space? Why would space creatures nullify his copy abilities? And why would other planets be filled with all of the same creatures as Popstar but with different color schemes?

They also have different HUDs. Check out the Great Cave Offensive’s treasure map.

The Copy ability is an ability that allows Kirby to copy enemies. I bet you’re probably thinking, “Doesn’t he already do that by inhaling them?” Yes, this is true. But the point is that Kirby can turn this Copy ability into a buddy, allowing the second player to copy enemies like Kirby himself. This is a glorious godsend, a rare treat for the second player to play as a sort of mini-Kirby with.

The Kvush

The backgrounds are really hit or miss. The fight against Dedede features a crowd filled with enemies cheering– even Super Mario is hiding in the corner. The fight against Dyna Blade on the other hand has a plain purple background — I bet it has to do with her defeat animation but it still doesn’t look good. Check out the differences.

Oh snap… a cloud….

It’s even got an arena marquis!

 

The Kvetch

Six different campaigns, two minigames, and a boss rush. That’s a lot of things to do in a little SNES cartridge. You might be wondering what the game rewards the player with in return for doing all of these things — I mean, I am. Perhaps they grace us with a version of the credits that’s really silly or a unique little scene that sheds some light on characters. Nope… you get a sound test — do people even know what a sound test is anymore?

This game has got a lives system for seemingly no reason. Losing a life makes you restart the level. Running out of lives forces you to continue or quit. Continuing… also makes you start at the beginning of the level — I guess it’s supposed you make you feel bad or something. It shows that this silly mechanic was losing relevance even at this time.

Some of the tutorials are unskippable and unnecessary. It might be difficult to figure out that consuming an enemy copies their ability but the player can still spit enemies out to attack. It’s intuitive to think that a character who can inhale enemies can eat them. Eating an enemy that has no ability informs the player that that enemy didn’t have an ability. That hints the player that some enemies do things when they’re eaten. The game deprives the player of that sense of discovery — It’s also annoying as fuck to watch the same tutorial whenever I play the game.

The Verdict

This is the best Kirby game that I’ve ever played. I love it that much. If you like platforming and using crazy abilities then you’ll probably like this game. Bring a friend, turn him into a Waddle Dee with an umbrella, laugh at him, stop laughing as he starts knocking dudes out. It’s just a great time.

This game has got a remake for the Nintendo DS called Kirby Superstar Ultra. It makes the best even better. Pick it up if you’d rather be a pink puff ball on the go.

Next Week: Lord of the Rings: The Third Age.

Zoe’s RPG Corner: Neverwinter Nights

Neverwinter Nights is a 3rd-person single-player RPG from BioWare based on the mechanics of Dungeons & Dragons and the lore of Forgotten Realms and basically teaches us all that BioWare was no-holds-bared about killing characters from the beginning.

History and Development

Once, in the distant past of 2002 (wow, that was nowhere near as long ago as I thought it was, good news, I am not as old as I was worried – no, wait that was thirteen years, holy shit when did the early 2000’s become a middle school student ago?) BioWare decided to make a game based on Dungeons and Dragons.

There’s not a lot out there on the development of this game, but on the surface, this seems like a stellar plan.  And it kind of was a stellar plan.  There was, apparently, a Neverwinter Nights MMORPG from 1991-97 (it’s my age and if that’s not terrifying, I don’t know what is) that was mostly text based but does hold the record of first MMO ever so that’s pretty cool.  The designers at BioWare took a look at it and wanted to recreate that with like, graphics and stuff.  They took out most of the multiplayer ideas and instead made a single-player RPG.  I mean, you can host games and whatever, but we’re gonna be looking at the single-player aspect because I honestly do not give a flying fuck about the multiplayer.

I bought this game at the age of 12 or so (around 2003 so this was fairly new).  It was my first big game, my first RPG.  I did not know anything about D&D at the time so I had no clue what was going on with the mechanics.  I didn’t know anything about video games either because I was raised by hippies and books and had never touched a gaming console in my life.  But Neverwinter spoke to me in a certain way that no other game had.  And part of that way was fireballs.

To this day, Neverwinter is the only game where I prefer to play a mage rather than a warrior.

In my later days of college, I picked it up again.  It was pretty much just as much fun as an adult, except I had the added benefit of now knowing how D&D worked so I was like, suddenly the master of Neverwinter Nights.  And I’m playing along one day in my friend’s room when she comes over and looks down at my computer screen and goes, “Whatchu playin’?”

“Neverwinter Nights.”

“Wow, that game holds up pretty well graphically.”

“Oh, no, wait for it.”  I zoom in as close as I can get.

“Oh my god, the polygons.”

“Yeah, bro.  It’s rough.”  I zoom out again.  “Looks great from back here though.”

Zoom out! For god’s sake, zoom out!

Character Creation

Literally, it’s D&D 3.5.  Like, straight up.  Same races, same classes. Same abilities based on each.  Same tired elf druid and halfling rogue clichés.  Same min/maxing, power gaming bullshit.

I shouldn’t be so hard on it.  I only say that now as someone who has played too much D&D and found every little thing about that system that pisses me off.  It’s not bad.  It’s really not.  But if you know how to make a D&D character, you know how to make a Neverwinter Nights character.  Fighters in this game are the most boring crap out there.  Just like D&D.

The two expansions for Neverwinter Nights, Shadows of Undrentide and Hordes of the Underdark, add in some other classes, specializations, that kind of thing, but the basics stand.  I’m not going to list everything you need, just look up D&D if you have no idea what I’m talking about (there are too many classes for me to happily list).

As for the physical aspect?  Like, seriously, I am concerned about how boob-y the armor is when you are like basically a trapezoid with a head.  I didn’t realize this as a child, but it’s clear as an adult.  Those are not sexy boobs.  Those are like early Tomb Raider Lara Croft boobs.  Which I guess people who are into girls think are sexy?  Mmmm, yeah, gimmie that single triangular prism attached to your chest.

On the other hand, it’s one of the few games to this day that has an option to not be totally skinny.

Also the portraits are beautiful.

Focus on these and ignore the polygons.

Story

You play a recruit at like, Neverwinter Adventurer School during a giant plague.  A hot elf paladin chick named Aribeth, whom you will grow to love dearly and be generally upset about as the game goes on, tells you to find some critters that have escaped into the city in order to use their hair and hearts and shit to cure everyone.  When you do this, a douchey cultist turns out to be the dick you always thought he was, a different elf is totally given the short end of the stick, and you have to go find a cult.

That’s part one.  Of four.

Yeah, Dragon Age: Origins is making a lot more sense right about now, huh.

The game is long.  Very long.  Continuously good, but there are like, four parts and each one has like, four-ish large areas to do a lot of stuff in, plus a million side quests.  This game is the king of side quests.  The second part is about finding a cult and then you go to another city and I don’t actually remember all of this because I was twelve the last time I finished this game, but there was something about time traveling lizards and yeah it’s just generally massive.

Gameplay

So remember that whole D&D thing?  Yeah, this is where it doesn’t shine.

See, D&D makes sense in a tabletop setting.  You can’t have people screaming stuff at each other all at the same time.  You can’t have your DM getting totally overwhelmed.  There need to be rules and structures.  The dice need to stand in for actually being able to hit each other.  There are reasons for things in D&D because it takes place in the real physical world.

In a video game, that’s a real problem.  Neverwinter is slow as balls.  Because it IS  turn based, but not like Final Fantasy is turn based, where you chose each action, like your basic attacks are turn based.  It just takes forever to get anything done.  Like, fights happen and you just SIT there and wait to win.  There’s not a lot of strategy and it can get tiring after a while.  It’s like that John Rhys Davis quote about his fighting style in LotR: “You will come at me, and I will hit you, and then you will come at me, and I will hit you…”

The level up process and the “character sheet” that goes with it are great though.  It’s confusing at first but even 12-year-old me picked it up pretty quickly.  It’s well explained and open to a lot of customization.  It talks you through all the stuff that confuses someone the first time they play D&D and so when I did start playing, it made a lot of sense to me.

Also if you play a sorcerer, get a panther because panthers can sneak attack.  From the front.  Sneak Attack Panther too OP.

So sneaky

The Good

The plot.  BioWare is famous for their plot, their character, and their storytelling, and they don’t let anyone down on this one.  In general, they’re a company that know that no RPG can stand on its murder factor alone.  Okay, so some gamers think that I’m sure, but they’re wrong.  That’s what first person shooters and the like are for.  RPGs are for story and boy does BioWare get the story right here.  Sure, it’s a little convoluted and it just keeps going, but that’s a good video game story, honestly.  Do you want everything handed to you in a game?  Well, you might, but I know I sure don’t.

The characters and henchmen are great too.  Every henchman has a story and a quest for each section of the game so you get a real feel for them and usually people seem to keep the same one for the whole game even though you can switch it up.  Aribeth, the elf who kind of leads you through the game, is really well done and has some seriously tragic shit going on, which she will tell you about if you ask the right way.  They know how to write people.  You have to do a lot of reading in this game, but it’s really worth it because they’re damn good at dialgoue.

Also ARIBETH.  The armor is stupid, but she was one of my first badass video game ladies.

The Bad

Character creation.  It’s hard the first time because there are a damn lot of numbers, but you can push through it and get along pretty okay.  It can get a little grind-y after a while and you have to remember never to resurrect because it costs you XP.  There’s not a whole heck of a lot to hate on here.  Oh and also there are a ton of quests that are like “Bring me the head of Steve the ogre” or “Bring me the heart of that lady over there” and so if you don’t like having a lot of body parts in your inventory, this is not the game for you.

The Ugly

It’s so slow.  Sometimes I play with a book just so I can read during the fight scenes.  Or like, I wish I could, but it’s not that kind of slow, it’s just…god, hit the stupid zombie already.

From here…?

Okay, this is a good game.  A solid game.  You have to look past graphics and just generally the age of the game – it ages well, but still – but let’s be real, you’re looking at this blog and the usual writer on this blog writes about the oldest games known to man.  So like, I think you’ll all be able to handle it.  It’s a solid game, good writing, good play.  If you like Forgotten Realms, I think it’s a really good one for people just because it’s got some characters and things you’ll recognize.  If you like D&D, give it a try just to see how it works.

Besides, don’t you want those sexy polygons?

Next Month: Dragon Age: Origins, a game close to my heart and the continuation of what is looking like a major BioWare binge cycle, which I make zero apologies for.

Kirby’s Dreamland III (SNES)

Introduction

 It’s a Kirby game and any fan of the series knows that a monster from another time, space, or reality is on its way to Pop-Star to do something awful to it — having read that, all the new comers know now too. Kirby’s more than ready to spring into action though — I mean, he can absorb the powers of whatever he eats so if the bad guys are ready then he is as well. With the help of his pal Gooey and his animal buddies he’ll kick the dark spawned creature back into the cold unforgiving cosmos from which it came.

I assume that this team’s ability to save the world is in direct proportion to how FUCKING CUTE it is.

History

Sorry, no words about the development here. The only interesting tidbits of information that I could find was that this game was the last first-party game Nintendo released for the Super Nintendo. That and this game didn’t get released in Europe and Australia due to some sort of technical issue. It wouldn’t see these parts of the world until 2009 — better late than never I guess.

Kirby’s Dreamland 3 was released on November 27th, 1997. It’s competition was Curse of Monkey Island (PC), Diddy Kong Racing (Nintendo 64), and Croc: Legend of the Gobbos (PS1).

Experiences

 I watched the demo of this game when I was a kid and saw that I could summon a little buddy to help me fight through the game. This buddy’s name was Gooey and I was certain that we’d be the best of friends. Things with Gooey started off great. He was running around faster than me and eating dudes and spitting them out at breakneck speed. Then I started trying to finish certain bonus goals and he kept eating all the enemies that gave me the powers I needed or any abilities in general. Soon, I had to dismiss this faithful companion.

No evil spirit, eh? Is gluttony not a deadly sin? Screw it, he’s too cute to stay mad at. Oh yeah, player 2 can control him.

Gameplay

This game is the standardest fare when it comes to Kirby games. This means that Kirby jumps and floats around eating enemies and gaining the powers of enemies that look like they have powers. Eating a spider doesn’t give you a power, there is no spider power — although certain New York webslingers would disagree — but eating an enemy with a sword will give Kirby the Sword power or a broom gives him the Cleaning power — I’m not joking, Clean is one of the most useful abilities in the game.

In addition to having sweet powers this game features 6 animal buddies: Rick the Hamster, Kine the Fish, Coo the owl, Chuchu the… blob thing — the wiki says she’s an octopus but she’s looks more like an alien parasite– , Pitch the bird, and Nago the cat. These guys alter how Kirby’s copied abilities work, have their own methods for grabbing enemies, and have different movement abilities. For example, Nago has a triple jump but can’t float like Kirby can, Kine can swim against strong underwater currents, and Chuchu can grab onto ceilings but can barely float at all. Sometimes their unique copy abilities are needed to overcome certain obstacles as well so get ready to use your imagination.

Every level showcases a character who needs Kirby’s help. Sometimes it’s a janitor that needs help cleaning rooms –I told you clean was useful– or a deconstructed robot that wants to get put back together.

And sometimes it’s Samus freaking Aran who needs a hand capturing some renegade Metroids.

Completing each task gives Kirby a weird sort of heart-star morphing thing. I’m certain there’s no secret goal, boss fight, or ending that is only unlocked by finding all of these things — Nope, certainly not one of those around these parts.

The Gush

Gooey can be a pain in the ass but he’s got locked away in him the secret to eternal life. Summoning Gooey reduces Kirby’s health by one box. Dismissing Gooey will return the lost box of health… no matter how low Kirby’s health is. If he’s been reduced to a half of a health box then summoning Gooey won’t cost him any health and dismissing him will give him another box back. The game’s already pretty easy but if you’re in a pinch then just remember this neat trick.

The music in this game has a sort of kid friendly tone to it. Sometimes the instrumentation gets a little grating but it’s more than made up for by super catchy melodies. Every once in awhile I’ll hum a few bars of one of the ridiculously fast paced songs.

The art has this sort of gentle wonder to it that I really liked. When it was good it was great.

Lookit this! Just lookit this! The fuzzy shading makes everything look like it was drawn by a five year old — Yoshi’s Island style.

The bosses in this game are super cool. My favorite boss in this game is Ado. She’s an artist from another planet who’s come to Popstar to improve her art skills. I don’t think she needs much more practice though because her drawings are so life-like that they come to life when they’re finished. Her fight is more like three bosses in one. Not content to send her creations to fight you, when you’ve defeated her minions she comes out swinging with her brush.

Dammit! Even the bosses in this game are adorable.

 

The Kvush

As far as a game for kids is concerned, the tone of the music and content can sometimes be radically dissonant. The final boss is some straight up nightmare fuel. The gentle music sometimes goes absolutely berserk. But that’s the nature of an adventure, I suppose. It doesn’t really matter how scary the final boss was to me when I was eight because I beat it. I vanquished that evil and its creepiness only went to show how twisted and dark it was.

The Kvetch

Some of the environments are a little bland. Only a few levels really stood out to me at all. Kirby Superstar had places like Green Greens, Bubbly Clouds, Mt. Dedede, and a giant freaking airship called the Halberd — you can bet I looked that word up.

Oh… it’s a sandy canyon called… Sand Canyon… greeeaaat.

I really like the optional goal mechanic, don’t get me wrong, but some of the objectives are just impossible to figure out. The guy with the umbrella coming out of his head was tricky but the shy dude was impossible. So impossible that I’ma bout to spoil it all up. He’s really shy so he wants a hug. Chuchu’s “inhale” is her reaching out to grab the enemy. The game considers a vicious blobby grab to be equivalent to a hug when the game requires it to be. So bring Chuchu to this guy and show him some love.

Tiny quibble over here but I really dislike how there’s no way to fight a boss after you’ve defeated it. If you want to fight the boss again then you’ve got to start the whole game over.

The Verdict

Nostalgia is having a really hard time saving this one. I feel like such a kid playing this game and I think that’s a good thing. I may have just played it to death though. I can’t recommend this one to an adult when there are so many other portable Kirby games on the market that do this one’s job better. But if there’s a kid in your life with the Wii virtual console then I’d say grabbing this game for them would be a good investment.

Next Week: Kirby Superstar

The Binding of Isaac (PC)

Introduction

Like the world of the mad, a child’s perceptions are distorted. The world seems smaller with a house, the yard, or the town being the extent of the world’s reaches.

Isaac’s mother has heard the voice of God after listening to an awful lot of Christian broadcasting. God orders her to purge her son, Isaac, of sin. She does this by taking all of his things and locking him in his room. God then asks her to prove her devotion to him by killing her son which she is prepared to do with glee. With precious little time Isaac must find a way to escape. He finds a trap door under his rug and chooses to face the basement — and it’s untold horrors– rather than try to face his mother.

Spoilers: They fight. (By Deviantart’s MickeyMonster)

History

It’s hard to believe that the Binding of Isaac was only developed by two guys, Edmund McMillen and Florian Himsl — It’s equally difficult to believe that a game of such scope was made in Flash. What started as a week long gamejam with between the two turned into a much larger project, something they felt like they had to complete. After McMillen’s success with Super Meat Boy he was financially secure enough to make a big risk and make something he wanted to. He figured The Binding of Isaac would have met mediocre reviews and have its fans but he couldn’t predict the explosion of interest the little game would get.

Though not all was well in the world of Isaac. McMillen would go on to fix a few bugs and then release an expansion pack for the game called Wrath of The Lamb. It introduced more items, a new ending, a new equipment slot, and character challenges. He wanted to keep releasing more content for it but the size of the file and Flash’s limitations got in his way. He’d have to program it again, better, faster, stronger. But that’s a story for another day — or at least another game for another review.

Fun Fact: McMillen wanted to release The Binding of Isaac for the Nintendo 3DS but Nintendo rejected it for “Questionable Religious Content.”

The Binding of Isaac was released on September 28th, 2011. It’s competition was Dark Souls (PS3, XBox 360), Rage (PC, PS3, XBox 360), and X-Men: Destiny (PS3, XBox 360, Wii, DS).

Experiences

Time for a little trip to the rumor mill. With the exception of the Games intro and outro there’s no dialogue in this game at all. What plot there may be lurking is expressed through cinematics and cryptic hints. A few of these show Isaac drawing the events of the game and tacking the pictures to the walls. I view his adventures then as his personal journey to conquer his fears. Monstro, the misshapen face, is Isaac’s fear of being ugly for instance. Or Peep, the giant fat monster who urinates everywhere, would be Isaac’s fear of wetting himself or the bed. The only way that Isaac can fight these monsters is by crying on them, by bearing his emotions to them.

And Isaac is afraid of a lot of stuff. All of this stuff to be precise.

His journey takes him deeper than material fears and issues, he goes to the womb, Sheol, the Cathedral. These places could represent his fears concerning the natures of life, death, and faith. Isaac’s journey finally takes him to The Chest which represents Isaac’s fear of the unknown, things he doesn’t even know whether to be afraid of.

Drop a comment and tell me what you think is going on.

Gameplay

The Binding of Isaac is a rogue-like game that mimics the structure of The Legend of Zelda’s Dungeons. For those not in the know a Rogue-Like is a game that has random game layout and permadeath — When Isaac dies you’ve got to start the whole game over. The game is not without its progression however. There are tons of items and characters to unlock and each of these unlocks carries over through playthroughs.

The Legend of Zelda influence is quite obvious. Between the existence of bombs and keys as major items to the map layout — I mean, Isaac’s health is a series of hearts. There are other game references littered around like a ladder that can help you cross gaps and a pickaxe that looks very much like it came out of Minecraft.

Your goal on each floor is the fight the boss and continue to the next floor — the boss also gives you a free item, ain’t he great? Items can do all sorts of things from increasing Isaac’s damage to making his tears phase through objects. Isaac can also hold one usable item, like a remote that makes him teleport to a random room on the floor, this item recharges after Isaac clears a few rooms. If you’re playing Wrath of the Lamb than Isaac can also find Trinkets that offer smaller and less reliable bonuses.

Also, any items that are permanent bonuses change Isaac’s appearance. That little widow’s peak and fang show that Isaac is a vampire and regains health from defeating enemies.

The game is about resource managament. How many keys, bombs, and coins do you have vs what will most likely give you the best reward. Is it worth it to use this bomb to try to find a secret room or should you save it to deal with a really tough group of enemies? Should you use that key on that locked chest or do you want to spend your money on the locked shop? You’ve got to make the calls and you might die for it– and who would want poor little Isaac to die?

The Gush

The score in this game is wonderfully varied. It mixes in adventurous tunes for the earlier floors and becomes more moody and atmospheric the deeper Isaac goes. Boss fights feel outright triumphant in that moment when you have to take the upper hand or dodge a wall of bullets. Danny Barronowski really outdid himself with this one.

There’s so much to unlock in this game. There’s so much criteria for unlocking new stuff from blowing up rocks to beating bosses. You unlock items and even new characters. Each new character starts with different stats and most of them start with a signature item.

I also like how each character is just Isaac in a costume with the exception of the Blue Baby.

Speaking of unlockable characters, I love Cain. Cain is the thief like character who starts off the game with a key and the Lucky Foot. The Lucky Foot makes Cain… well… lucky. He’s more likely to get items from enemies and he’s luckier in gambling games. It’s a quick and easy way to get more items and be able to get more items throughout the game.

I really like the biblical themes in this game. There are holy and unholy objects all over the basement and it feels really cool to theme Isaac if it’s possible. I also like how all the characters are named after different biblical characters.

The Rogue-Like elements turned me off at first. I was dissatisfied with the idea of losing all my cool stuff. But that was soon replaced with the opportunity to get even cooler stuff and crush my enemies. The further I got the more I figured about Isaac as well.

The Kvetch

If you buy this game then don’t get the Wrath of the Lamb expansion along with it unless you’re confident in your abilities to deal with it. The Wrath of the Lamb makes the game a lot harder. The bosses and enemies that it introduces are stronger than the previous ones. I know too many people who stopped playing because they got the Wrath of the Lamb before they unlocked enough cool stuff to give them the edge they’d need.

Little complaint here. Isaac’s movement is a little slippery. His walk has got momentum and the higher his speed the more he’ll slide. This sliding has a nasty habit of making him run into spikes and all sorts of nasty stuff.

This game is also a lot about luck. If you get good items that synergize really well then you’re going to have a good time. If you find Lemon Mishap — an item that makes Isaac piss himself– then you’re going to have a bad time.

The game is a little immature. The basements are filled with piles of poop that might have treasure inside them. The game is filled with scatelogical humor and sometimes it gets on my nerves.

At least this explains the flies.

The Verdict

If you’ve liked anything that I’ve talked about this far then I suggest you get this game. It’s only five dollars and it’s on Steam. I’ve got 50 hours clocked for this game and I’ve also purchased it’s sweet re-release The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. If you don’t want to make the jump between the original and Rebirth then you can just get Rebirth with its 15 dollar price tag. Rebirth takes the issues from the Wrath of the Lamb Expansion and spreads that difficulty across the experience. So, take your pick.

Next Week: Kirby’s Dream Land III

Hotline Miami (Windows and Playstation)

Just so ya’ll know, this is probably the most graphically violent game I’ve covered ever so if oodles and oodles of gore and suggestions of sexual abuse aren’t your bag then you might want to check out one of my other posts and a different game.

Introduction

The year is 1989. The player adopts the role of a character wearing a letterman’s jacket in a dingy apartment, he is never given a name — the community calls him Jacket. His answering machine has a cryptic message leading him to an address. When Jacket gets there, via his sweet Delorian– did I mention this was the eighties–, he dons a rooster mask and kills everyone there (And everyone there is a Russian mobsters) using whatever weapons he can find. Another mask is delivered to his abode and he gets another message a few days later. He knows what he has to do.

If you think is too trippy then turn back now.

History

Hotline Miami was developed by Dennaton Games which is a collaboration between Jonatan Soderstrom and Dennis Wedin. Soderstrom made the game in Game Maker and Dennis drew up the art for it. Soderstrom is an ever-busy developer who’s released more than 40 games such as Mondo Medicals (A game full of illogic puzzles) and Hot Throttle (A racing games with people who think they’re cars).

Let this dialogue encapsulate the game.

Hotline was based on one of the oodles of games Soderstrom made but didn’t release called Super Carnage. Soderstrom was able to get the game to near release state but he couldn’t get the enemy AI to work correctly– something I’ll come back to later.

Fun Fact: This game was pirated pretty heavily because it’s got such a small file size. In spite of this, Soderstrom helped patch buggy copies of the game whether they were legitimately acquired or not. He’s cited as saying “I want anyone who plays the game to be able to enjoy it without stupid bugs that detract from the experience. Feel free to buy it if you like the game. It would help allowing me and Dennis to make more ‘big’ projects like this in the future.”

Hotline Miami was released on October 23rd, 2012. It’s competition was The Fool and His Money (PC and Mac), Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask (3DS), and Killzone HD (Playstation Network).

Experiences

No two play Hotline Miami the same way — and I don’t just mean their approaches to mass murdering a bunch of mobsters. My Hotline wasn’t about power fantasy. It was about solving a mystery. The game goes as far as to ask the player directly, “Who has been leaving messages on your phone?” and I was totally drawn in by this. But more importantly, I wanted to know why Jacket was so complicit in accepting his commands.

I tried to glean as much information as I could to figure it all out. What did it mean that his apartment was a wreck? Why did he choose the flashy Delorian if he intends on killing hundreds? How strong is this guy? I mean killing people with his bare hands is probably physically demanding.

In the end, I had this strange instinct that Jacket was a character who would do whatever he was told. He was just the sort of person to blindly perform tasks like the input the player gives him. He’s just following orders.

What’s that, voice in my head? Kill them all? Good idea.

Gameplay

The game is a 2-D isometric fuck ’em up — the difference between a beat ’em up and a fuck ’em up is that in beat ’em ups you punch dudes until they fall down, in fuck ’em ups you punch a dude and then slam his head against the floor until his skull fractures. Your goal in each level is to kill everyone you see — with a few scarce exceptions. The good news is that enemies die in one hit. The bad news is that you do too. You can press R to restart the level and that’ll get ingrained in your muscle memory so hard that you’ll do it before you hit the ground.

Jacket’s a pretty flexible fighter as far as serial killers go. He can pick up and throw any weapon he gets his hands on — with some weapons being more dangerous than others– or he can resort to his good ol’ fists. The game scores you on how well and creatively that Jacket dispatches his enemies. The more you mix it up and the more fluid you are the more points you get.

His array of masks also offer bonuses, large and small, to keep the carnage going — with effects like “Lethal Doors,” “Silent Gunshots,” and “French Translation.” Speaking of guns, be careful where you fire them. Your opponents are stupid but not deaf. They’ll come running as soon as they hear it and be none too pleased about their murdered friends. It certainly doesn’t help that guns give you fewer points.

All dem masks. It’s a good idea to get a feel for which ones you like best.

The Gush

The music in this game is incredible. It’s a perfect match to the sleazy 80s atmosphere. The whole while I was playing this game my head was bobbing. I listen to it a lot even when I’m not playing the game and this is 2 years later.

The game has this weird way of rewarding the player’s frantic, wild, and unpredictable actions. It almost seems like the AI is struggling to keep up with something they didn’t expect the player to do. It all sort of turns into a blur. Run in, hit guy with the door, pick up his weapon, throw it at other goon, pick up his gun, fire to attract other guys, finish of first guy, throw gun at remaining thugs, punch them all, and then beat them to death one at a time.

I really liked how the optional objective gave some sort of clarity and meaning to the chaotic experience. If you’re itching to figure out what’s going on them keep an eye out for misplaced purple pixels. They’re actually puzzle pieces but what could they mean?

The Kvetch

This game is pretty difficult. I know some of you blazed through it easy and but just imagine how discouraging it’s got to be to die as soon as you open the front door. The game’s difficulty is exacerbated by it’s extremely fast pace.

Bonus Story: My old computer was practically a toaster — I named it Rust Bucket. It ran Hotline extremely slowly and slower yet if I ran something in the background. I may have used this to A+ every stage — if it’s any consolation it glitched out quite a few times.

The Verdict

I can’t recommend this game enough if it sounds at all appealing to you. It’s only ten dollars on Steam and that’s a bargain for the barrel full of gore and fun this happened to be — but mostly fun… and yet mostly gore. If you liked this title then it will please you to hear that Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number is nearing its release so keep an eye out for it as well.

Next Week: The Binding Of Isaac.

Transistor (PC, PS4, and Macs.)

Introduction

 In a far distant future a rabble-rousing singer, Red, stands on a cold balcony. Her friend lies dead nearby, his chest pierced by a blade from another world known as the Transistor. The only way to get answers is to take this blade and fight the people who used it to kill him. Between you and them are a horde of beings from this other world that are trying to Process the city and everyone in it. I mean, you fought against it’s totalitarian policies but that doesn’t mean it’s citizens deserve to die.

History

Information about this game’s development is scarce. I could only find cursory information about its music — he says “only” as if the music wasn’t incredible. The music was once again composed by Darren Korb. The female vocals were performed by Ashley Lynn Barrett who also lent her talents to Bastion.

Supergiant’s Greg Kasavin said that they, “Have no plans for what comes next.” A bold and risky strategy. They originally created their small team so that they’d be able to be quick, so that they wouldn’t get bogged down. I think if they’re as quick as they want to be then they won’t need a plan, just a goal.

Fun Fact: Transistor won IGN’s award for Best Graphics in the Art category.

And I think it’s well deserved.

Transistor was released on May 20th, 2014. It’s competition was Thomas Was Alone (iOS), Wolfenstein: The New Order (PC, PS4, PS3, XBox 360, and Xbox One.), and Battlebock Theater (Win, Linux).

Experiences

There’s an adage I’ve heard of in the games hobby, “there are some games I stop playing because I’m bored and some games I stop playing because I should have eaten dinner two hours ago.” This game definitely falls into the latter category. I stayed up until 4 in the morning finishing it on a Friday night. I spent the whole time thinking, “This couldn’t get better, it’s gotta end soon,” but it didn’t. It kept going, ushering me along. I expected to get mad like it was yanking my chain but I was just so excited that I didn’t want to sleep before I’d finished it.

Gameplay

Red spends her adventure on the move — there’s no Bastion to run to this time. While you take in the sights from the city of Cloudbank you’ll be spending most of your time trying not to get utterly destroyed by these creatures known as The Process. The Process comes in many forms the dog-like Fetch, the large lumbering Jerk, and the artilleryesqu Clucker to name a few.

I just love the concept of a large bothersome enemy literally being called a Jerk.

Those large white walls are cover and it’s your best friend — besides The Transistor itself. Different enemies interact with cover in different ways. Fetches will walk around it whereas Jerks will smash it out of existence, leading other enemies right do you.

Cover is super important because of the Turn() mechanic. When Red uses Turn() she enters a turn based tactical combat mode. Each of her abilities and moving itself takes up time from the Turn(). When you’re done planning then you can execute your Turn() and Red will move very quickly running circles around the Process. After Red executes a Turn() however she’s unable to use any of her abilities until Turn() comes back online after 10 seconds. Most combat is a series of Turn() and then hiding until Turn() comes back.

Behold, the Turn(). I really like how it puts a reverb on the music and how Red starts humming along with it.

The Transistor has the power to reconstitute processed individuals into programs. These programs are used to fight The Process, augment Red, or augment other programs. The game even rewards you for trying out new strategies by giving you more information about Processed individuals for using them in each category.

Behold all these programs. Each program can be augmented by two other programs and Red herself can be augmented by four. There’s room for four attack programs so that’s 16 slots to put programs in. There are thousands of programming options.

 

The Gush

The music in this game is so good. Korb really outdid himself this time. The music is this sort of Electric Noir that masterfully meshes the neo-archaic atmosphere of the game. I mean, you’re fighting with a techno sword.

One thing that I actually liked about the game that got a lot of flak was the dying mechanics. When Red gets dropped to critical health she automatically Turn()s if it’s available and if it isn’t then she’ll go down. The game will then take away the program that takes up the most memory and then continues the fight. It can make the fight really tough if you go down but not impossible. You can reequip that program at the next Access Point but it can still be a slog if you lose your heavy hitting program.

Spoilers

I really loved the final boss of this game. I got so pumped when he started talking about using my power against me. I was really surprised by how good the AI was in this fight. Watching it perform Turn() and then back out and try to do more damage with a different set of moves almost made me feel like I was fighting an actual human.

End Spoilers

After you beat Bastion you could play through the game again with all the stuff you’d already unlocked but not much changed in the game. When you Recursion through Transistor you keep picking the programs where you unlocked them in the first playthrough, while already possessing the programs from the original run. That’s right, you can augment your programs with themselves — programception

There’s a lot of information and lore in the game. Unlike most games I read it all. It’s not like Elder Scroll’s long and drawn out books. Lore is conveyed through concisely written paragraphs when it comes to processed people. Every so often Red will run into Cloudbank’s plentiful terminals, each of which presenting her a survey or some other insight into how Cloudbank runs. I mean, it doesn’t really answer any of the big questions about the game but I’m not mad.

The Kvetch

I lied. I’m mad. The mystery of the game feels more obfuscated than interesting. The politics of Caelondia are never explained because they don’t matter. The purpose of the Process and what their world is is of critical importance and I didn’t get it. It feels like there are some bread crumbs missing.

CLOUDBANK! How will I unravel your mysteries?

The Verdict

This game is absolutely worth the 20$ price tag and even if you don’t buy the game I can’t recommend the Soundtrack enough. I had just as much fun exploring the world of Bastion as I did the World of Cloudbank. I wish Cloudbank had had more closure than it did but it was a helluva ride.

Next Week: Hotline Miami

Zoe’s MMO Corner: WildStar

WildStar is a pay-to-play (with some in game options) space western RPG with a charming cartoonish flair, some living vegetables, and space zombies – because everyone needs more space zombies – about the settlement of a lost planet and it’s kind of a good time.

History and Development

WildStar was created by Carbine Studios, which was basically just a bunch of guys from Blizzard who got pissed off about Blizzard being Blizzard – you know, in doing game research for this blog, I’ve realized that happens a lot more than it probably should, Blizzard, maybe stop creating your own competition, mkay? – and took off to make their own game.  Which they were quoted as saying they wanted to be “anything but World of Warcraft”.  Guess those dudes are not getting references from their former employers.  But it is pretty funny.

Apparently in the creation of WildStar they couldn’t find a game engine they liked enough to base their whole game on so they made their own.  And the mechanics for WildStar are pretty entertaining.  Basic, nothing hugely fancy, but like, that’s not important.  They work, they’re smooth, great.  In 2011, the game was announced, and went live in June of 2014.

After I finished playing through what was then the available content for the Secret World, sometime in early 2013, my gamer pal and I went looking for our next big MMO.  And we found WildStar, then still in development.  It looked fucking awesome.  Like, the cartoonish graphics, the bright colors, the plot which basically read as a ripoff of the television show Firefly but with aliens (this was not at all a bad thing), and, at least for me, the space zombies which I was immediately obsessed with and would answer any question for the next six months about “cool new games” by yelling “SPACE ZOMBIES” and frothing at the mouth a little.  It’s really a wonder I have friends.

But for real SPACE ZOMBIES

Now a quick heads up, when this DID release I was just starting this crazy job I had for a while where I worked 13 hour days so I haven’t played as much of WildStar as I should.  I also had some issue with my account and with subscriptions but that’s not really something I want to get into right now.  Just suffice to say that I haven’t played all the way through WildStar the way I have with other games.  Not because I didn’t want to, but because it’s hard to play a game when you spend most of your day hanging from the ceiling and playing with electricity and tape.

But I really wanna get back into it, if that makes it any better.

Character Creation

Here’s a story.  I have a baby sister.  Okay, she’s not a baby – like, she’d be really mad if she knew I called her that – but she’s six.  Which is pretty much a baby when you’re over twenty.  Anyway, the point is, I may or may not have taught her to use the character creator for WildStar (she can also use the one for Guild Wars 2 which she refers to as “make a girl” and keeps making crazy pink Sylvari).  So like, there wasn’t much of a point to that except it’s adorable because oh yeah, the WildStar characters ARE FUCKING CRAZY LOOKING.

She likes the space zombies too.

Here’s the boring part where I list a bunch of stuff, hang with me for a second.  So your choice starts with whether you wanna be in Dominion or Exiles (and by that I mean the Empire and the Rebels because this is kind of Star Wars and by that I mean totally Star Wars).  Each side has three different races to chose from but the classes and paths (I’ll explain) are all the same, mostly.  Dominion snotty humans, robots, demons, and killer mice while the Exiles have normal humans, animal people, space zombies and golems.

Classes are your abilities; chose from Warrior, Esper (psychics), Spellslinger, Engineer, Stalker (rogue), and Medic.  Each class has a couple of roles and the WildStar website does a much better job of explaining them than I was, so check that shit out if you want more info.  Your path is what kinds of quests you get, your interests basically: Solider, Explorer, Settler, Scientist (I tired really hard to make a Tinker Tailor Solider Spy joke there but it wouldn’t work and honestly how many of you are old enough to get that?  I shouldn’t be old enough to get that.)

As for cosmetic character creation stuff, it’s actually a lot of fun.  The graphics are very bright and cartoonish so it’s in no way trying to be serious.  Your character can be neon pink from top to toe if that’s what pops your toast.

The critique that’s been leveled against the character design is that woman look kind of unrealistic.  I mean, yes, it’s true, everyone, male or female, has like a three inch waist, but I’m not going to defend this one because of that.  I’m actually not going to defend this one at all.  Yes, the cartoonishness could have been done better for women and allow them to be less sexy cartoony.  It can get kind of boobular and I’m not about that.  I mean, mostly you can avoid it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

I mean really guys, do we need that much boob happening there?

Story

Like I said, it’s not like I’ve played a huge amount of this game, but it’s not massively story heavy, at least so far.  The basic plot is that the Exiles and Dominion both find this planet called Nexus where once lived an ancient race of elves beautiful ancient technologically advance being called the Eldan and basically you’re there to steal their shit.

Since it’s an MMO, it makes it feel like everyone else is doing that to which honestly works.  Basically think of it like an intergalactic gold rush going on.  Plus Dominion and the Exiles are fighting each other all the time so that’s sort of throwing a wrench in everyone trying to steal everyone else’s shit.

Also you’re trying to figure out ancient tech.

But really the story is kind of weak.  Like, other things are great, like the atmosphere and the combat (getting to that) but the story is just kind of there.  It’s fun and mindless, which is sometimes pretty okay, but it’s certainly not the best out there.  It’s just a means to deliver that game and I like my games as a means to deliver a story.

Gameplay

But on the other hand, combat is pretty boss.  Like, it’s smooth and easy to master and fun and dynamic.  Enemies telegraph abilities in these big red circles on the ground – this isn’t the only game to do this, so don’t think I’m saying that, but WildStar does do it particularly well/often – so combat isn’t something you can take as casual.  It’s a lot of attempts to dodge and weave and run away and run back and it can be kind of frustrating but it’s kind of fun too.  Also the attacks all have fun little animations so it really does feel like you’re bouncing around enough rather than just hitting someone with a sword over and over again.

Also it’s shiny.  Really most everything in this game is shiny.

The quests are interesting enough.  Well, I mean, most of them are like “Kill 12 giant bees” or whatever, but depending on your path, you get certain types of quests that feed into that and give you a different experience.  Settlers claim resources and stuff, soldiers murder, you know, pretty standard stuff but it’s a decent idea that really does make the game feel like you get more freedom to chose what sort of character you want to play.

Level and class is pretty standard.  You find better equipment.  There’s a crafting system I think but I honestly haven’t gotten around to that because I’m terrible at most crafting systems in most games (Guild Wars 2 and Dragon Age: Inquisition aside).  Also you get a house which is kind of fun to play with.  I mean, I’m not totally huge on that, but it’s kind of a good time to play with and keep all your shit.

But honestly the draw of this game is the open world combined with the graphics.  You get to wander around and it’s just so cool looking.  There’s a whole quest about riding geysers into the sky and it’s just really pretty in sort of this fun, almost childish way.  Things are brightly colored and even in the 3D graphics, it really hangs on to that cartoon look.  I like that.  I like that it has a style to it and isn’t trying to look normal (by that I mean that most games really seem to want to look realistic and WildStar is like one of the few games out there that’s really trying NOT to look realistic).  It’s bright and shiny and goofy and happy.  The writing isn’t like stellar or anything but it fits the style of the game and it’s enough to make me laugh.  I think that does a lot for it.  In this age of “dark and gritty games”, it’s just so god damn happy.

The Good

Style, style, style.  WildStar has fucking style coming out of its goddamn ears.  Like, it’s just so much fun and so swish and shiny and exciting and pretty in a really different way.  I can look at most new games and say “Oh, it’s pretty” but this game is pretty the way a little six year old girl would think of pretty and by that I mean bright and colorful and you can have aqua hair (clearly “aqua” as a color is a big thing for my sister and she was really happy about her pink and aqua cat girl).

Style though.

Combat is solid.  Writing isn’t terrible.  The concept of the story is actually really solid and works with the space western thing really well.  I think it really captures that idea of the spaghetti western in tone and writing, but with aliens and giant bees and shit.  It’s a good time and a good look and I’ll forgive some of the story issues because of that.  I guess that goes back to the idea of style, though this is tone rather than visual.  They just have this really solid thing going on.

The Bad

Story.  It’s not great.  I mean, tone aside, it’s just not really there when you dig for it.  It’s actually pretty frustrating because like, I want it to really be as good as I feel it could be, but I worry that it’s lacking there to a certain extent and that’s frustrating.  It can grindy because of that and like, yeah, you do need to just kill things for XP which is really not my thing.  I think that WildStar would be great with a friend, but as of yet I haven’t had time to really play with pals – I have a friend who will play this with me but time, you understand – so maybe I’ll change my opinion when I get to do that.

The Ugly

Usually in this section I’m pretty solid at pinpointing “a thing” that is terrible.  Or not.  But this one is more of a feeling and that feeling is that fifteen levels into this game, I’m still not sure how I feel about it.  I want a game to try to take over my life.  I really want that.  I know it sounds weird, but that’s what I’m going for.  And this just doesn’t do that, at least not yet.  I was so excited about it coming out but that waned really quickly.  I’m actually patching the game as we speak – on my incredibly slow internet, it will be HOURS – so I’m going to try it again, but I just don’t think it has a great hook.

From here…?

I don’t know.  I can’t say go buy it.  I can’t be that enthusiastic.  But I do think people shouldn’t write this game off quite yet.  I think it has a lot of potential and I’m hoping it’ll grow into it.  I’m also hoping the subscription will go away because fuck those.  It’s still pretty new so it’s still a little pricy so maybe wait on it for that, but I am happy to say that the price is dropping.  Like, I don’t think it would kill anyone to wait for this game.  But I do want it to be really good so keep that in mind.  Even if it’s not, I really want it to be.  So I’ll be giving it another chance.

Next Month: Due to my own internet related issues, Zoe’s MMO Corner will now become Zoe’s RPG corner (covering any RPG with character customization beyond class and gender) which means that next month we’ll be doing Neverwinter Nights! Kickin’ it old school with my first love of gaming with lots of discussion of DnD and some of the origins of the famed Bioware murder spree.

Bastion (PC, XBox, PS4)

Introduction

 The city of Caelondia has just been rocked by a catastrophe of calamitous proportions — a Calamity, one might say. The Kid has apparently slept through it all and wakes on the other side — End of the world NBD, just napping. The city of Caelondia has an, apparently, paranoid enough culture to justify the construction of some sort of indestructible bunker known as the Bastion. The Kid’s got to get to the Bastion and fix it up to get it to do whatever mojo it does. The whole while he’s guided by this smooth talking, raspy voiced, narrator.

Behold the Bastion. From left to right we have the armory, forge, distillery, monument, shrine, and the Lost-And-Found. At the center of it all we have the Monument. It’s a nice hub, I’ve got to say.

History

Bastion was developed by Supergiant games. The team was composed of seven people if you include the voice actor of the narrator. They had previously worked for Electronic Arts but wanted to work on a smaller independent project in which they could do what they wanted. They privately funded the game and things were done on the cheap but didn’t seem it — the narration and music was recorded in the music director’s closet after all.

Fun Fact: Supergiant wanted the character to have a map but they figured the way platforms rose into the air would serve as direction enough.

Other Fun Fact: The Narrator, voiced by Logan Cunningham, voiced three thousand lines of narration — whatever you do, there’s probably a line for it.

Bastion was released on July 20th, 2011. It’s competition was Call of Juarez: The Cartel (PS3, XBox 360), Limbo (PC), and Captain America: Super Soldier (On goddam everything. PS3, Wii, XBox 360, DS, and 3DS.)

Experiences

I can’t think of any other game that makes me feel more like I’m in a desperate battle. Between the occasional horde of enemies and how they surround The Kid I feel like the battle is bitter and hard fought. Most enemies don’t go down in one hit and much of the time The Kid is actually fighting retreat to get away from something. One fight with an Ankle Gator lasts for an entire stage as The Kid evades it until it begins to rain — the narrator muses, “An ankle gator can only be killed if it’s raining. And it ain’t raining.”

Gameplay

The Kid’s adventures take him scavenging in all parts of the world for pieces of the Bastion’s power core. He might walk a little slowly but he’s got a mean dodge roll that can actually damage enemies — just be careful, living in a world floating in the air is pretty dangerous. He can carry two weapons at a time and they’re generally split between melee and ranged. The game typically gives The Kid one weapon of each type but there’s no reason you can’t use two of the same if you like the playstyle enough. In addition to The Kids arsenal he’s also got access to some Secret Skills passed on by the Caelondians who have passed.

He’s not just an offensive powerhouse, he’s got a shield. If he brings up the shield as he’s being attacked he’ll shield bash dealing damage based on how much damage he would have taken. The shield also serves as The Kids lock on ability, he’ll automatically face the nearest opponent when he brings it up. Attacking brings the shield down so you can snap from blocking to attacking.

A typical combat situation. The turrets on the ship have been charmed, you can tell by the dancing hearts above them  — functional and cute.

The Kid levels up by defeated enemies and completing challenges. Completing challenges also earns The Kid items and Secret Skills. Every level earns The Kid another Spirit –as in the alcohol– he can consume to give him cool powers. In addition, there are mementos and fragments scattered across the area. Mementos unlock dialogue and other useful things like pets at the Bastion. The Kid can spend fragments to purchase weapon upgrades and other things from the Lost and Found.

You can tell a challenge area by the cages with items underneath. The goal of this challenge is to break all the stuff. Be quick!

The Gush

I really like the upgrade system in this game. Every weapon has five levels of upgrades. Each level has two mutually exclusive upgrade. Each column generally serves other upgrades in that column but it’s sometimes encourage to mix and match. You can also switch between each of those upgrades so if you don’t like them it’s just a matter of getting to an Armory.

This game looks gorgeous — but you’ve been able to see that from all the pics I’ve posted. The game is colorful and wondrous. Some things are even incredibly detailed in ways that the player wouldn’t necessarily notice.

I mean, just… look at this. This is awesome.

I tip my hat to Logan Cunningham’s wonderful narration. His vocal stylings constantly make me feel awesome and emotionally involved. The Kid’s a silent protagonist but he’s really got the narrator to speak for him.

There are a few objects in the Bastion that will take The Kid to “Who Knows Where,” where he’ll fight waves of phantom enemies. Each wave of phantoms the kid defeats unlocks more narration about one of the survivors in the Bastion. Even thought the fights are tough I want to keep going to hear what happens next.

Spoilers: There are other survivors.

If you’re looking for a little extra challenge then you can go to the Shrine and invoke an idol. Each Idol gives the enemies a new ability which makes them more powerful. The Kid gets more fragments and experience points for his time but it’s really just a little reward for wanting the game to be a little harder — even though I think some of the idols make the game absurdly harder (Seriously, who thought making the enemies incorporeal at random intervals was a good idea. [Then again, I just don’t invoke that idol]).

The Kvetch

This game has a new game plus option, to play through the game again. I appreciate it and I love this game but I don’t really see the reason to play through it twice. There’s no new weapons, no new skills, and no new story events. The narration’s a little different as the narrator experiences Deja Vu but it’s mostly similar.

The Verdict

Goodness gracious this game is on so many platforms because it’s so good. The gameplay and combat is simple but the different weapons and skills add that spice that keeps it all mechanically interesting until the end. I was also drawn in by the plot, the politics between Caelondia and the Native Ura, what the Calamity actually is, and who the Kid is. In short, it’s totally worth the $15 price tag.

Next Week: Transistor