Machinarium (PC, Playstation Vita, PS3, IPad, and Android)

Introduction

The game opens with a city in the background that looks like the Emerald Palace was made of junk. A flying machine drops its payload of refuse into a pile unceremoniously. One of these “scrap” pieces is our eager hero. He’s a little worse for wear but he’s got a mission to do and that means getting back into the city — which won’t be easy, I guess he left his ID in his other pants’ pocket. Walk, adjust your height, and solve puzzles to find out why our little robot friend got dumped from his home and why he needs to get back in.

History

Machinarium was created by Amanita Design which is a group of seven Czechs who like to make point and click adventures. The game was originally released on PC but Amanita wanted to expand to other platforms. Machinarium was set to be released on Microsoft’s XBox Live arcade but after some sort of debacle Amanita decided to ditch Microsoft and turn to Sony instead.

Machinarium is one of the most pirated games in history. Amanita sent out a survey asking how many people had purchased the game. The data they got back suggested that only 15% of people who had played it actually purchased the game. At this point Amanita kindly asked pirates to pay for the game and incentivized it by lowering the price to $5 but it wasn’t very successful. What really bothers me is that Amanita design has three free similar games on their website but some people weren’t willing to dish out pocket change for one.

Machinarium was released on October 16th 2009. It’s competition was Borderlands (PS3, XBox 360), Brutal Legend (PS3, XBox 360), and Eufloria (PC).

Nostalgia

The first time I saw this game was as a Demo that a friend was playing. I saw it’s Oddworldesque design and was enchanted. I wanted to know what this world of machines was, how it worked, and how it came to be. I also wanted to know the story of the little robot he was controlling. Whether he was actually remotely controlling it or was just a player to its character ie. was there a human controlling the robot in the context of the game? I wouldn’t end up playing it until 2011 but it was always there in the back of my head. I would ask people what they remembered about that point and click adventure game with the robot but no one could remember what I was talking about.

And then I got to see the scrap city for what it was… kinda run down but brimming with character.

Gameplay

The game is a point and click adventure that focuses on puzzle solving. So you’ll be picking things up and rubbing them on other things to try to get something to work to open a door or something. Our little robot friend here has a hollow torso so he’s always got room to put things in himself– although I’m now confused to how he’s supposed to function.

BTW, there are dolls of this guy available for purchase and they’re also hollow.

If you get a little lost you can ask the robot for a vague idea of what he’s trying to do. These hints, as well as the rest of the “dialogue” in the game, are expressed through animated thought bubbles– or thought bubbles of animation. If the puzzle is a really stumping you then you can look up a walkthrough or use the walkthrough that’s in the game. There’s a notebook in the upper right hand corner that has drawings of solutions to every puzzle in the game. If that sounds cheap then I should mention the Galaga-esqu lock that holds the notebook shut.

Our little robot does have one useful ability, he can alter his height. He can stretch his torso of holding to grow short or tall. That being said, he can’t walk as fast as his normal height when he’s tall or short. Sometimes speed is an important factor and if that’s the case then you’re gonna want this guy to be in the best running shape by returning his torso shape to normal.

It’s a really useful ability… it’s also fucking adorable.

The Gush

The art design of this game is fucking beautiful. The city feels alive with colorful robots living out their robot existences. It’s cute and interesting to try and figure out how this robot city differs and is similar to our own.

I don’t know what’s in that tower but I wanna live in it.

The music is marvelously atmospheric. Each area has its own music that creates an ambiance that fades into the background when you’re solving a puzzle and then comes forward again when it’s time to travel. Well, the music for the most intense puzzle is much more in-your-face but I thought it was appropriate for the situation.

Even the most fiendish puzzle in this game can be brute forced. If you don’t know the answer and are too proud to look it up then you can just try to do everything possible until it works. That being said the puzzles are pretty easy to get the idea of, they’re sometimes just difficult to execute.

All the dialogue is communicated through the pencil animations in voice bubbles. There isn’t a single word of spoken dialogue and I think that’s super cool. It conveys the plot so well, I never felt like I was lost.

The Kvetch

Sometimes it’s unclear what the robot is capable of. Sometimes he can jump higher or farther than I thought he would be able to. Sometimes he could pick something up or move something that I didn’t think he was strong enough to move. Those are just sort of pitfalls that go along with a game about robots, I guess.

Every puzzle game has “That Fucking Puzzle” and Machinarium is no exception. I guarantee that one of the puzzles in this game will be “That Fucking Puzzle” for you. Mine looks something like this.

the goal is to shut off water to the first, third, fourth, and last valves as marked at the top. You accomplish this by fastening three wrenches to the pipes at the plus looking parts. It’s harder than it looks.

The Verdict

I think this game is awesome. I’ve had nothing but a good time with it. You can get it at Amanita Design’s website, http://amanita-design.net/ or by checking it out on Steam. I found it to be super fun and really interesting. It’s got solid art, music, puzzles, and story. It’s all good here.

Next Week: Borderlands

Sponsored Post Sponsored Post Menu More Info Learn from the experts: Create a successful blog with our brand new courseThe WordPress.com Blog

WordPress.com is excited to announce our newest offering: a course just for beginning bloggers where you’ll learn everything you need to know about blogging from the most trusted experts in the industry. We have helped millions of blogs get up and running, we know what works, and we want you to to know everything we know. This course provides all the fundamental skills and inspiration you need to get your blog started, an interactive community forum, and content updated annually.

Register now

All of Our Friends Are Dead (PC)

 

Introduction

I’m not even gonna pretend like I know what’s going on in this game. You play as some sort of soldier in a post-apocalyptic world. I don’t even know if the character is human or not– I do know that by the head banging he does he must be listening to some bitchin’ tunes. Run, Jump, Shoot, Explore and try to figure out what the hell is going on in this shooter platformer.

What’s that? A group of nuns bleeding form their faces while looking down? That’s just what I needed.

History

All of Our Friends Are Dead was developed by Benjamin Braden under the pseudonym Amon 26. Braden suffers from chronic nightmares and uses the things that he sees to create the frightening imagery in the game. The game is just that, an opportunity for him to shoot and kill these nightmarish creatures.

Fun Fact: He’s been doing the music for Anna Anthropy after she “took him under her wing”.

All of Our Friends Are Dead was released on March 24, 2009. It was super Indie, released for pay what you want, and was comparatively unknown BUT it’s competition was Freaky Creatures (PC), The Last Remnant (PC), and Wallace and Gromit’s Grand Adventures (PC).

Nostalgia

Whenever I get into a spooky mood and have someone around who’s also down for the spook who likes spectating games I pull out this one. It’s short, bitter, and is filled with all sorts of bizarre images and sounds. It’s a compact package. A bullet of insanity that strikes at my heart. I remember playing it at my cousin’s and keeping us both rapt until the wee hours of the morning marveling at the strange sights.

A giant betentacled fetus isn’t normal, but in your nightmares it is.

Gameplay

The gameplay is really simple in this game. You can run and shoot. Anything that moves and looks like Cthulhu would call it kin is probably an enemy.

The platforming is pretty solid and comfortably smooth. There are jump pads that allow the player to jump and reach areas that would normally be inaccessible.

You die in one hit but the game has a quick save and quick load function using the F5 and F6 keys. They’re a little out of the way but I think that prevents players from spamming them.

It’s not game that’s about its controls, mechanics, or story. It’s a little mysterious but it’s really about taking in the spectacle. It also might come as a bit of a challenge, the enemies don’t make this one easy on you.

Gush

The player death sprite is satisfyingly gory. Also, that… thing is terrifying.

The backgrounds for this game are minimalist but very satisfying. White dots falling turn to a rain of ash and red static becomes bizarre chaos through the lens of imagination.

Sometimes there are signs or just floating text.

The sound design for this game is shockingly impressive. There isn’t really any music but there is atmospheric noise that fills my heart with dread and confusion.

This… just… all of this. The sheer strangeness of the sentence structure here is wonderful.

I love the poem that ends this game. It’s nearly nihilistic nonsense but it’s rhyme and cadence are wonderful nevertheless.

The Kvetch

If I had one complaint its that the game isn’t very long. I beat it in an hour and I explored all the nooks and died a lot. But for the low cost of a dollar or free it’s impossible to complain.

The Verdict

In the dead of night, in the right mindset this game can deliver some serious scares in a short amount of time. But as it stands, the game is very simple and serves as a stepping stone toward Au-Sable (It’s spiritual sequel) and the talent of its creator.

Next Thursday: Machinarium

Audiosurf (PC)

Introduction

A jet bike flying through three lanes of traffic, hitting colored blocks and dodging the boring grey blocks. I don’t know why this jet bike needs to get to a space portal at the end, how the blocks help it, or why the world has all these trippy shapes in the background– who cares? It’s fun.

Look at the colors maaaan.

History

The game was basically made by one guy, Dylan Fitterer. He was a big fan of the game REZ (A game I should review sometime) and a music visualizer. He wondered what else could be done with music in three dimensional space.

Audiosurf was released on August 15th, 2008. It’s competition was Stalker: Clear Sky (PC), Too Human (XBox 360), and Ratchet and Clank: Quest for Booty (PS3).

Nostalgia

I found a weird glitch when I was playing this with a friend. When a Steam friend is playing the same song that you’re playing it’ll show where they are in the song. We saw the display for the song and that someone was already playing it, it was us. We were apparently already playing the song which didn’t make sense. We tried to make our selections quickly to try and “catch up” with ourselves but we never did.

Medals give you a general indication of how well you’ve been doing, but it’s all about he fun.

Gameplay

There are a bunch of different game modes but they all boil down to the same thing. Your bike will go down the road and you need to pick up colored blocks and avoid the grey blocks. After a little bit the colored blocks that are connected will disperse and you’ll get points, the more blocks you connect the more points you get. The colors shift with the intensity of the music. There are general increases in difficulty but it doesn’t really matter, just have fun.

Songs have very active leader boards. It seems like people get dropped of the leader boards for a little while but it’s good to be king for a day. On the flip side, that guy who’s been at #1 forever might not be forever. It feels really rewarding to get in the top 10.

There are also a series of bonuses that will increase your score if you perform certain tasks.

The game can be controlled with either the keys or the mouse. The mouse control but the keys are more precise. I’ve been in a lane when I thought I wasn’t because I was half way into it. Using the keys moves you to the center of the chosen lane so there’s no ambiguity but it’s hard to hit the keys as fast as you can flick the mouse.

The Gush

I really like how the complexity of the map isn’t based on the intensity of the music but the complexity of the music. A guitar solo doesn’t make the field intense but a 12 piece orchestra or static makes the game go berzerk.

The rings represent moments of intensity.

I love the capacity for this game to help people have fun sharing music. Sharing music is already cool but it feels so passive, this game eliminates this passivity and turns it into a crazy time.

It’s really interesting to see that other people have been listening to the crazy stuff you have. I’ve found active rankings for crazy songs that I thought no one else had heard of.

I don’t know what causes it but sometimes the track does loopety-loops and it’s the most awesome thing.

The game works on a variety of older machines. My compaq from 1999 was able to play it at the lowest settings.

Sharing music has never been more fun than playing Double-Vision mode.

The Kvetch

Some of the game modes are a level of crazy that I can’t even begin to comprehend. Apparently Pointman and Pusher allow huge scores but I have NO idea how they work. Maybe you’ll like them.

The Verdict

I highly recommend this game as one that utilizes your music. The only other game that comes as close to the coolness of Audiosurf’s use of music would be Vib Ribbon. It’s silly fun and a great way to do something else while you listen to your music.

Because I missed posting last week there will be another post on Monday. This Monday I review All of Our Friends are Dead.

Atom Zombie Smasher (PC)

Introduction

The country of Nuevos Aires is suffering a zombie invasion. Having lost your arm in an accident, but still wanting to serve the military effort, it lies to you to command the military. El Presidente would do it himself but there’s been an attempt on his life and it’s left him incapacitated. You don’t really see any of this during the game, except in little comics. You just deploy mercenaries and try to stop purple dots from touching yellow dots.

I said purple zombies and I meant it.

History

Atom Zombie Smasher is developed by Blendo Games which consists of Brendon Chung. He developed the game in eight months with the desire to create a game where the player had to make sacrificial choices. To this end the player must choose which humans to save, the lone scientist or the teeming hoard of frightened non-scientists. Possibly having to decide whether it’s okay to launch an artillery barrage at their own men to secure victory.

Fun Fact: There’s a short development journal in the game itself. Describing exactly how many versions he created and why he had to keep revising.

Atom Zombie Smasher was released on January 22nd, 2011. It’s competition was Dead Space 2 (PC, PS3, Xbox 260), Mass Effect 2 (PS3), and Magicka (PC)  –tough crowd.

Nostalgia

My college roommate had this game and when I saw him playing it I had to ask him what was going on. When he told me it was called Atom Zombie Smasher I knew that I had to play it. After I played it I knew that even if I beat it and only played it for a couple of hours I had to give this guy some money and buy it. It’s so uniquely goofy that I couldn’t say no.

Gameplay

The game starts off simple. You control a helicopter that will land, blast it’s airhorn, and attract humans to it. Humans will board the helicopter in a bid to escape from the zombies rushing in from off the map. The helicopter can only hold so many survivors before it’s got to take them away and then return. It creates a neat desperate impatient dynamic when it comes to deploying the helicopter. If zombies approach the landing zone the helicopter can’t land. If you rescue enough people then you win the day! If all the humans are infected before that… then I’ve got some bad news. When night falls all the streets have zeds pouring in making it much more difficult to help people.

Behold, nighttime and zeds everywhere.

The first seven missions you complete award you mercenaries as rewards. There’s the infantry merc who’ll walk around through the streets and shoot zombies or the zed bait mercenary who will attract nearby zombies toward his location.

The mercenaries also gain experience and upgrades as the game goes on. They also have ridiculous names

Infected territories are rated from one to four. Each level increases the number of attacking zed streets. At level four there are no humans and it’s your goal to kill all the zeds before nightfall.

When a territory reaches threat level 4 it infects all nearby territories except dead or reclaimed territories.

Eventually you’ll discover scientists researching the zed threat. They appear as blue on the map and have priority helicopter access. These scientist’s research can be used to purchase upgrades. The higher the infection level, the more the scientists so… choose wisely.

Losing one mission isn’t the end of the world but you can retry it if you want. The goal is to reach a certain number of victory points. Every zombie gives their faction a victory point and every human you rescue gives you a victory point. There are certain milestones that unlock more upgrades for each faction.

The Gush

There are only five music tracks but they’re some of the most memorable surf rock tracks I’ve ever heard. If you like grooving electric guitars then you’ll like this soundtrack.

Every so many missions the game will treat you to a short vignette which reveals the goings on of certain people during and leading up to the outbreak. They verge on non-sequiturs within themselves but I find them hilarious.

This dialogue is simply brilliant. They just get better and better.

The game has got oodles and oodles of mods so there’s a lot of replay-ability, insofar that no two playthroughs will feel the same.

This game is absolutely silly. It’s got Lamma Bombs, Catbird Cannons, and Elephantbird Orbital Launchers. The sheer ridiculousness is fun.

The Kvetch

The game is only good for short bursts. You might play a few rounds to begin but eventually I slowed down to only playing it once every couple of months.

The Verdict

That all being said, I do still keep coming back to it. It’s individual vignettes re difficult to remember but that just makes it fresh when they pop back up. The gameplay is solid and actually requires a lot of strategy. This game is definitely worth the $9.99 price tag. I’m pretty nostalgic for it even though it’s only 3 years old.

Next Week: Audiosurf

Zoe’s MMO Corner: Guild Wars 2

Guild Wars 2 is a one time payment sword-and-sorcery RPG that takes place about 250 years after the events of the original Guild Wars, following the rise of the Elder Dragons who exist to frak up everything.

History and Development

Sometime in like, 2007, ArenaNet basically scrapped the potential fourth expansion campaign for Guild Wars, then titled “Utopia”.  Instead, they split it into two things: a weird half-campaign expansion called “The Eye of the North” and the idea for Guild Wars 2.  Basically at that point Guild Wars was sort of getting out of control and gaming was advancing pretty fast and I guess the development team wanted to implement changes but didn’t have the ability to do so, so hey, whole new game.

And man was that a great decision.

I’m going to make no secret of the fact that Guild Wars 2 is my current second favorite game of ever because it’s fantastic.  Maybe I was bias to begin with because it was Guild Wars…but better…and you could play non-humans, but I don’t care, because my bias has turned out to be supported by like, everyone out there.  Like, literally everyone.  It’s got like, a 90% approval rating or something and that’s just crazy.

In development, ANet once again tried to toss off a lot of the usual MMO conventions especially, and I hope ya’ll will like this one, level grinding.  Yeah, basically mass murder is sort of whatever in this game because the developers threw in all sorts of dynamic event quests so that you don’t have to do it.  Instead you just run around and oh look, there’s an event over there that you can go dive into without having to do anything other than show up and help out.  It’s really cool and solves that thing I was complaining about in Guild Wars where you feel isolated.  It’s the opposite of isolating, but no one can take your stuff anyway.  This game rewards like…cooperation and being a decent person.  Shocking.

Also did I mention that you don’t have to play as a human because LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE NORN.

Okay, I know everyone has their favorite race in this game, but I saw the trailer for it back in 2009 or so and figured out that those super cool giant vikings were playable, I kind of flipped my shit.  Please don’t ask me why, but I found it really appealing.  And I was so not disappointed.

I am the viking queen of Tyria and no one can stop me.

Character Creation

In character creation, you chose from one of five races (humans, monster cats, vegetable people, tiny gnome-like mad scientists, or giant vikings) and eight classes (two heavy hitters, three technological or sneaky types, and three mages).  Then you chose from a bunch of different options to create a kind of personality for your character and that determines the first part of your story quest.

Super customization-y and pretty smooth about it too so it’s not like, a total mess.  My one complaint is with female humans and norn because they just look…weirdly pretty no matter what and I know that’s weird, but it’s sort of uncomfortable.  The dudes do not look like supermodels, let me tell you, but the ladies do.

Story

The overarching story of Guild Wars 2 is that 100 years ago a bunch of dragons came out of hiding to fuck everyone over.  I’m not talking like, little dragons, I’m talking Elder God levels of dragon.  They’re assholes.  The personal story, as built into the game upon launch, is about taking down Zhaitan, who’s basically the undead dragon, and is all about the zombies.  I’m not kidding, the zombies are everywhere.

The first half of the story is all about your character’s development as a hero which is kind of neat because they don’t start off going “YOU ARE THE GREAT HERO”, it’s more like, “We think you have some potential” and then you get to watch your character develop INTO the hero, which is a nice little touch.

Gameplay

The People at ANet ain’t no fools (okay, that’s debateable, but not about big things).  They knew that the problem with their first game was how complicated things got, so Guild Wars 2 is heavily simplified.  There are a lot less skills and you don’t have to run around to find them.  You just pick up weapons that your profession (only one this time) can youse and wave them around and eventually develop skills.  It’s pretty chill.

They also implemented a bunch of different kinds of quests that work together.  First there’s your renown quests, which are always there and you can only do once.  Then there are dynamic events, the quests that just start up at different times or with different triggers and you can either choose to do them or not.  Then there’s your personal story quest which stems from the choices you made about your character in the creation process.There are a ton of different options so it’s pretty cool to be able to play with different characters and not just do the same thing over and over again.

Guild Wars 2 is also constantly updating so they have Living World quests which actually recently changed from achievement-related world boss flail fests to a continuation of the personal story that’s always there and it’s pretty cool because the whole personal story is about ONE Elder Dragon and the Living World basically introduces the idea of fighting the others and stuff.  And also evil piratical psychotic plant girls.  Just roll with it.

I was only sort of tangentially around for this, but even I know this can’t be good.

The world map is still huge and mostly unused so it’s exciting to see what’s coming next.  And jumping around is a lot easier so while the world does seem smaller in a way, it also feels like you get to see more of it.  There are a TON of achievements and one of them is for exploring 100% of the world.  It’s really hard.  But super cool to be able to finish and go “I AM THE MASTER OF THE WORLD,” which I haven’t done yet because you have to explore the PvP maps too and there’s this one tower that another team has had for a month and a half and…you know what, let’s not talk about it.  (Since the writing of this post I have actually completed the map and I have never been so proud of myself in my entire life.  I am 23.  Clearly I need a better life.)

There’s also crafting and dungeons and large-scale PvP and small-scale PvP and armor collecting and guilds and honestly this is the MMO for someone who never wants to go anywhere else for anything.

The Good

Character Creation.  Personal storyline.  Updates (except they don’t come fast enough, sorry guys).  Mechanics.  Questing.  Keeping it fresh.  This game is FANTABULOUS.

Except Boobplate is back but you can kind of ignore it and not use it if you want to, thank god.

The Bad

The community hasn’t gotten a whole lot better.  I hear there are pockets of goodness in guilds but I’m not really privy to that since I’m still not the best at internet socialization.  They are way more helpful and less screamy because they put in a player-to-player trade system so they don’t need to freak out about how much they want a certain item.  Getting money is kind of tough at first and it instills this sense that you’re going to be broke forever which is nerve-wracking whenever you want to buy something.  And since the level cap is now 80 and not 20, there’s that traditional period in MMOs around level 15-30ish where the game can be SUPER difficult because things just scale funny.

The Ugly

Look, I honestly haven’t got much for this.  Nothing sticks out as physically painful.  Crafting can be expensive and/or tedious?  But no, because I honestly think crafting is kind of fun.  The writing drops off every once in a while and is kind of weird I guess but it goes away fast enough that I don’t care.  Look, this game is great.

From here…?

Buy.  This.  Game.  It’s still a little pricey (around $50) but it’s really worth it and hey, unless you want to buy things out of the gem store with real money, that’s all you’re ever going to pay for.  It’s beautiful and fun and exciting and you get to be a giant viking or a Roman cat or a freakin’ flower person, I mean, who can resist that?  Just buy the game, you won’t regret it and if you do, well, we may need to talk about what you’re looking for out of video games because it’s clearly not GOOD STUFF.

I could stare at this game all day and sometimes do.

Next Month: The Secret World, my innate fear of vagina witches, and some of the coolest MMO stuff of all time (look, there’s my opinion already, you don’t even need to read it–but you should anyway.)

Cave Story (PC, Nintendo DS, Nintendo 3DS, Wii)

Introduction

Cave Story is one of those games with a title that tells the player everything they need to know. There’s a cave and a story going on in it. By the nature of this story it’s got so many spoilers that it’s difficult to say anything about it. Let’s just say that you’re a “soldier from the surface” and that you’re going to be thrown into some turmoil. I hope you like Megaman because you’re gonna jump, shoot, and find a whole bunch of cool weapons to fight some bad guys.

No weapon, 3 health, and a save point, let’s get started.

History

Save story is a game that was made by one man, Daisuke Amaya. He programmed, wrote, developed, designed, and composed the whole project. It may have taken him five years to do it and when he was done he gave it away. This game is the definition of indie. It’s design is simple in all ways, characters, music, plot, gameplay but from that simple design complexity rises from the sheer number of factors that are thrown at the player. Amaya began working on Cave Story in 1999 when he was in university and continued working on it until 2004 while he was a software programmer.

It’s pretty easy to find a photo of the development team because this guy did it all.

It’s free distribution and eventual translation into English lead to a release Wii virtual console in 2010, on the Steam distribution platform in 2011 as Cave Story +, and as a fully remastered version called Cave Story 3D. Cave Story + is a paltry 9.99 so, although you can download it for free, I urge you to pay for it if you can no matter what platform you prefer. Cave Story + even has some cool stuff in it that’s not in the original like a boss rush, and Hard Mode– A mode that leaves the player at 3 HP through the whole game.

Cave story was released on December 20th 2004. It’s competition was World of Warcraft (PC), Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (Playstation 2), and The Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth (PC)

Nostalgia

If you’ve been playing videogames for a long time you’ll probably run out of fingers and toes counting the number of times that characters get or have amnesia in games. It’s a really popular trope in RPGs to create some dramatic irony or create some sort of prophecy. I can think of Final Fantasy games in which  multiple characters have MULTIPLE BOUTS of amnesia. Do writers know how extremely rare that amnesia is? Our dear hero in this game is also suffering amnesia and I won’t say why for spoilery reasons but lemme just say it makes perfect sense. It’s not about a blow to the head, brainwashing by a vague yet menacing organization, or something that happened when he was too young to remember it.

Gameplay

The game is pretty simple. Our soldier from the surface can jump, shoot, and move and that’s about it. He also has the rare ability among run and gun protagonists to aim up and down. You’ll encounter enemies and obstacles aplenty, almost no two of which are alike.

I hope you’re ready for the sheer quantity of dudes this game is gonna send at you.

A unique aspect of the game is that weapons upgrade system. Weapons have levels from 1 to 3. Enemies drops chips when they die which contribute what basically amount to experience points for weapons. Weapons get substantially better as they level up, get useful abilities (like shooting through walls), and they do more damage– with one exception. The trick is that weapons lose these level up points when you take damage. If you keep getting hit then you’re gonna have to change your weapons or scramble to find more upgrade chips. It’s a really interesting system that encourages exploring the weapon space.

Switching weapons in the middle of combat can be a little tricky but once you get ahold of it you’ll be switching from your busted machine gun to your missile launcher in no time.

Weapons are also the form of currency in the game. Some weapons are discovered through exploration while others can be traded away for different– not strictly better weapons.  The weapons each offer something to someone’s playstyle. Unfortunately each trade is non-refundable so you’ll have to have fun with your saves if you want to experiment.

The game is all about exploration. It’s loosely based on Metroid and it shows. There are secret passages and all sorts of strange places to find and explore. It’s the player’s responsibility to find important, but non-vital items, like the map or the Bubbler gun.

Gush

This game has got a bunch of endings and they’re all about how far you push the story. You can give up and just try to survive. Or you can go all out, save the day, and find out the answer to the mystery of the caverns. It’s up to you.

There’s a weapon in this game called the Nemesis. Unlike the other weapons in the game it gets worse the more you upgrade it. At level 1 it fires giant lightning bolts that deal intense damage. At level 3 it shoots ducks– like rubber ducks. It’s satisfying to get knocked around by a boss for a bit and then take out the Nemesis and get some payback.

The bosses in this game are phenomenal. They start off insanely simple but eventually the screen is being saturated with enemies and attacks and you’ve got to keep on to your wits just to survive. Experimenting with different weapons can also make some boss fights much easier to handle.

Is that a smiling rock ball, surrounded by other rock balls, rolling around the room and trying to crush you? Yes it is!

The music in this game is incredible. Amaya didn’t really know how to compose music so he made a program to compose music for him. He would take the raw output, tune it a little, and find the right area for it. The music fits these places incredibly, I’m taken in by it every time I play– My favorite song is Labyrinth Fight.

The characters are pretty simple in this game but there are so many that stand out to me. Their simple designs express a lot about their character.

One of the characters is a giant walking toaster named Balrog. He bashes through ceilings and shouts “Huzzah!” It’s hilarious.

The plot is simple and delightful. It’s a battle against greed, violence, and a battle for identity.

This title screen is the whole backstory for the game. In this image is what misdeeds have been done. Play the game and figure it out.

Kvetch

The path to the secret true ending is a motherfucker. Some of the things that you’re expected to do are totally illogical based on the circumstances– One of the steps you have to take is to abandon someone so that they can survive. You heard that right, you abandon the guy and he lives, if you help him out then he dies. Some steps require immensely precise actions, if you miss any of them then you’d better hope you didn’t save or you have to start the whole game over.

Verdict

Cave Story brings some of the most pathos evoking moments in any 2-D shooter that I’ve ever played. I laughed, I cried, I kicked some serious butt, saved the day, and solve a cosmic mystery. I can’t say that about most games that I bought for ten dollars.

Next Week: Atom Zombie Smasher (PC)

Gex: Enter the Gecko (Playstation 1, Nintendo 64, PC, and Gameboy Color)

 

Gex is a three foot tall, bipedal, talking, gecko. Why is there are three foot tall, bipedal, talking, gecko running  around? “Shut up! Go save the fabric of television!” is the game’s response– it’s bizarre how the mascoting got in the nineties.

Welcome to the media dimension. The place where all television exists– in the waves… I guess.

History

Gex started his existence as one of those weird nineties animal platform game mascots. His original game was a simple 2 dimensional affair complete with Gex posing on the front of the box with sunglasses on– The story of the original game is that Rez, the self-styled lord of the media dimension, kidnaps him to make him a mascot… even the game knows.

 Strangely enough, this game runs off the engine from Tomb Raider 1. Eidos,  are you recycling game engines again?  It was written by Dana Gould, a writer for the Simpsons. He would also design costumes that Gex would wear in different levels and perform 700 one-liners as Gex’s voice actor.

Fun Fact: Gex if voiced by Leslie Phillips in the European release.

Gex: Enter the Gecko was released on January 31st, 1998. It’s competition was Resident Evil 2 (PS1), Skullmonkeys (PS1), Panzer Dragoon Saga (Sega Saturn).

The voice behind Gex ladies and gents.

Nostalgia

Gex: Enter the Gecko was on of the first games that I got for the Playstation 1. I didn’t even know it was a sequel to anything, I just saw a 3D platformer and I was in. In fact, if I had thought it was a sequel I would have found the first in the series to play them in order. Which would have been a disastrous turn of events because I’ve played Gex and I didn’t really like it, which would have probably prompted me to not give this game a chance. It was also one of the first games that I needed a memory card to play. I remember writing down incredibly long passwords or starting the game over whenever I wanted to play. Was it a good investment, well let’s go on to the gameplay section.

I was such a scaredy cat, I would avoid the horror levels because they scared me so much.

Gameplay

The controls and design of Gex are pretty simple. Gex can jump, karate kick which doubles as a long jump, tail whip to take on close attacks, and jump on his tail like a spring to get a lot of height and destroy enemies below. If he takes 4 hits, he’ll go down. Gex can also walk on certain types of walls, they’re pretty easy to spot because of their discoloration. Keep an eye out for them though because they usually mark hidden areas.

The karate kick isn’t a very useful move but you’ve got to admit it looks pretty badass.

Every level has a theme, there’s Toon TV, Scream TV, Kung-Fu Theatre, and just about any other genre you can think of. How do you control the media dimension? With remotes of course. Each level has red and silver remotes. The red remotes are acquired by doing certain task specific to the level or reaching a certain point. Silver remotes are acquired by collecting enough things or finding the hidden silver remote in the level. You get gold remotes by killing bosses. These remotes unlock more channles and more sections of the media dimension.

Different levels have different themed obstacles and different themes within the levels. The Rocket Channel levels usually take place in space so a bad jump will send you hurtling to a bottomless space pit– how is there gravity in space? SHUT UP! And there are air stations, run out of air and Gex is dead. The Pre-History channel has tough enemies in it and so on.

Gex’s costume changes a lot in levels. Unfortunately the lightsaber is just for show.

Gush

Every channel has different enemies so it’s not the same old hat dispatching monsters all the time.

You wanna fight spoopy Pumpkins? Do it.

The music is usually very evocative of the style of each channel. The music matches the channel’s theme perfectly.

I love hunting for secrets and this game has got many secrets aplenty to go hunting for. There’s more hidden in this game than silver remotes, keep your eyes peeled.

The level design, even in the same channel, is unique. No two levels really feel alike. Different levels have different pieces doing different things. Then like any good game, they start putting them together.

The design and music reach a new level if you can find Rezopolis.

Gex’s one-liners are usually really good but sometimes he’ll just keep repeating the same phrase again and again.

Kvetch

The bosses in this game are really underwhelming. I remember that Mushu Pork and Mecharez exist but I don’t remember peril or really what fighting them was like.

Although if I had taken the time to enter over the shoulder mode with the camera I would never have been able to unsee Mushu’s screwed up eyes.

Some levels of this game have a lot of death pits. Most of the space levels are 99% percent pits and, looking back at platformers, pits are sort of a boring obstacle.

Verdict

This game is still pretty solid. It might be a little tough to track down but if you see it in a bargain bin somewhere and feeling like jumping around then I would recommend picking it up. I do warn that my nostalgic feelings for the game are pretty strong.

Next Week: Cave Story

Civilization II (PC and Playstation)

 

Introduction

In Civilization the player does not take the role of a gallant knight, a guy who’s girlfriend was kidnapped by thugs, or a hero. Civilization puts the role of the player into that of a leader, with no skills to fight enemies but a leader doesn’t need to fight, he’s got people for that. Choose your civilization, or make your own– although it’s purely aesthetic– and see how long you can go without inventing the wheel.

History

The irony is not lost on me that I can’t find information on this game’s development. Sorry ya’ll. I can say that it’s abandonware so it’s A-okay to download.

Civilization II was released on February 29th, 1996. It’s competition was Super Mario RPG (Super Nintendo), Duke Nukem 3D (PC), and Zork: Nemesis (PC).

Nostalgia

I know you whippersnappers out there are used to your Waifai and your internet multiplayer lobbies but if I wanted to play a multiplayer game then we had to play hot seat. A hot seat game is a game where each player plays on the same computer and has to switch seats on each other’s turns. So my cousin and I would declare each other as allies for life and take on the world and kick them in the teeth, not watching what each other was doing in the interim. But with this age of rapid internet access the hot seat has grown cold.

Gameplay

Civilization is a game about resource management and diplomacy. Cities produce buildings, units, and settlers and settlers build more cities– build more cities to get more settlers, to get more settlers to get more cities.

The three resources that fuel every city in this game are food, production, and trade. These resources are gained from the terrain around a city by citizens and a city gets more citizens by getting enough food. Settlers can also improve terrain around a city, like improving the production of a mountain by adding a mine or the food yield of some grasslands by irrigating it.. Production helps the city build buildings and units more quickly. Trade contributes to science, money, and luxuries. The effect that trade has on these things is altered by the type of government your civilization is in. Certain governments have additional effects like Fundamentalist Utopias have no unhappy citizens but gain technology half as quickly as others or how the UN or congress can prevent an action in a Democracy. If you want to change your government then you have to send your civilization into anarchy for awhile, nothing useful can be accomplished in anarchy.

You can also view your city. It’s especially ridiculous when there are multiple wonders in one city. Do you remember the time when America built the Colossus, the Pyramids, and Big Ben?

Diplomacy is actually really simplistic. You can exchange technologies, declare war, arrange peace, make alliances, and that’s about it. You can also make these requests at the behest of other civilizations to try and gain their trust.

If the production of your city gets too high then it’ll start producing pollution. Pollution can be cleaned up by settlers or engineers but while its there the improvements of the tile are negated.

And if there’s enough of it on the map it’ll trigger global warming which is bad… m’kay.

There is also a civilization that has no cities and no territory, they’re barbarians. Barbarians will show up randomly and attack your cities, if you can destroy their leader you’ll get a little bonus. Barbarians keep up with you in technology at all times and love to destroy the improvements you’ve made to your land. If barbarians aren’t your style then you can turn them off.

Barbarians always take the color red and can pose a serious threat. And if they capture your cities then they can produce units for themselves!

You win the game after you’ve laid waste to every other civilization or built a spaceship capable of sending your civilization to Alpha Centauri. War has other advantages too, after you capture a city you can learn a technological advance that they’ve learned. Why bother learning anything if you can just clobber them for it?

The Gush

This game runs smooth on whatever computer I’ve played it on. It’s also available for download all over the web because it’s 18 years old. Free sounds like a good price to me.

The music is really good. There are over 20 tracks ranging from atmospheric tracks, to classical organ music.

You can have a throne room! You improve it one piece at a time and can keep improving the same piece have have a president’s desk in a dusty cave if you want.

Or be boring and keep things consistent.

This game has got a great map editor so you can have fun with your friends in all sorts of custom made maps.

The wonders in this game are large structures that present an advantage that lasts for most if not all of the game. But someone else can complete it before you and send all that production to waste. I think it’s a really interesting piece of risk vs. reward design.

The Test of Time expansion to this game makes significant improvements to the automated settler AI. Automated AI, because 20 settlers are just too many to manage manually.

Test of Time also brings improved graphics and interface.

The Kvetch

Games are made of choices and there’s no mechanical and nearly no aesthetic difference between each civilization. Whether it’s Zulus or Vikings, they start off and develop with the same odds as everyone else. Sometimes my civilization starts with additional technologies but it seems random.

There are some scenarios in the Test of Time expansion that seem bugged. I tried the future expansion but eventually I couldn’t develop more technology. I tried the magical world but I couldn’t transfer between worlds and couldn’t figure out how to win.

Wonders are great but if a civilization is close to getting one it warns the other players. These players can then use money to finish their wonder and then the game chooses randomly who constructs it. Even if that doesn’t work that player can shift that production to another wonder. I just wish there was a better system.

The Verdict.

This game is incredible and for the low cost of free I don’t see much reason not to give it a whirl. Whether you’re a fan of the series looking at the earlier versions or new to the genre entirely it’s super fun.

Next week: Gex: Enter the Gecko

Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance (Playstation 2, Xbox, Gamecube, Gameboy Advance.)

Introduction

If there’s a bustling metropolis in a fantasy setting it’s going to get messed up by everyone that knows about it, Baldur’s Gate is no exception and this day is like any other. Conspiracies, ancient prophecies, gelatinous cubes all await our weary adventurers in the city of destiny on the Sword Coast, Baldur’s Gate. It is kind of bizarre though that a level 1 adventurer is able to topple a multi organization wide conspiracy in a matter of a day or so–whatever, destiny or something.

It’s the standard fare really, gruff dwarf, buxom elf… generic human.

History

Dark Alliance started when the console users at the time clamored for a Baldur’s Gate game they could play on their consoles because the previous installments were for PC only. This game would be developed by Snowblind Studios instead of Bioware and the emphasis away from interesting moral choices is evident. The game turned into something more akin to Gauntlet than the DnD adventure Baldur’s Gate fans would probably have been accustomed to.

This game required it’s own engine, cleverly named the Dark Alliance Engine, in order to function. It was a great improvement over other engines of the time because it didn’t have the same aliasing problems, blurring basically, that other engines had.

Fun Fact: The Bards Tale, and Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel both use the Dark Alliance engine.

Baldur’s Gate Dark Alliance was released on December second, 2001. It’s competition was, Devil May Cry (Playstation 2), Pikmin (Gamecube), Super Smash Bros. Melee (Gamecube), and Final Fantasy X (Playstation 2).

Nostalgia

I used to play this game all the time with my cousin back in High School. We would just hack and slash our way through scores of monsters and talk about stuff, just things. I couldn’t tell you what the conversations were about, very much like this game’s events, they just seemed to float away with time.

“Whoa! Meteor swarm was worth the wait. But as I was saying, geometry blows…”

Gameplay

The Gameplay is pretty simple actually. You hit monsters with swords. That’s not even much of an exaggeration. The player explores a series of oddly angular tunnels and rooms filled with critters ranging from kobolds to giants and then they hit them with weapons, usually swords, in order to dispatch them. Each character has a different set of special skills and abilities they can unlock by allocating skill points. Skill points are acquired whenever the character levels up, which is accomplished by hitting enemies with swords– it’s a vicious cycle really, emphasis on vicious.

You go to different locations but the gameplay never changes. Whether you’re on a misty mountain top, wandering through the Marsh of Chelimber, or the onyx tower itself it’s all about the monster hitting.

Oh man, look at all these dudes, time to hit ’em.

Oh, and if you’re still hungry for hitting things with swords then you can start a new game plus. The game has 4 difficulty levels: Easy, normal, hard, and extreme. You can only actually play Extreme with a character who has played through the game once already on any other difficulty– trust me, you’ll need it. Normally in a new game plus you keep your weapons, armor, other items, and skill but in an Extreme playthrough you’ll only have you skills to keep you safe from the hoards of KILLER rats in the basement.

The Gush

The plot is right out of a good Dungeons and Dragons module. It’s got monsters galore and a villainous plot that comes right out of the Lord of the Rings. Not moral ambiguity, they’re the bad guys and you’re the good guys– thank goodness life’s not that simple. The art design also looks really good, there are all sorts of rugs and tapestries and things to check out.

…From buxom elven bartenders…

… To vicious beholders. This game has got everything.

The game is really forgiving about death in a multiplayer mode. If one player gets to a save point then the other returns to life in flash of light.

The Kvetch

The music is really hard to hear and doesn’t really build much atmosphere.

The character’s don’t have much character. Their dialogue occasionally differs but it’s really just there to push the plot.

Insert generic dialogue that works for all characters, regardless of class, race, or sex.

Gold isn’t shared or transferable between players. If my buddy hogs all the money then I might not be able to buy what I need and if he wants to give me some to buy something I really NEED then he can’t. His best option is to buy some stuff, drop it, let me pick it up, then I sell them back at half price. It’s a really bad system.

Lemme tell you about arrows. Fuck arrows. The human is an arcane archer so using the bow is kind of his thing and bows need arrows. Arrows are needlessly heavy and expensive, running out of them is common because aiming is so difficult. It’s easy to run out of arrows, run into a fight that you can’t win otherwise, and have to start the game over in order to stand a chance.

The Verdict

I looked back on this game with fond memories and it got great reviews at the time but I don’t think it aged very well. The story was fun to play through the first time but there’s no real distinction between one playthrough or another except the myriad of ways you can kill goblins. This game was sort of a place holder for doing something else, like fishing, it’s a great way to shoot the breeze but there’s probably something better to do. Or at least a more engaging interactive experience to share with a friend.

Next week: Sid Meier’s Civilization II

Theo’s Waste Basket: Sonic R (Saturn, PC, Playstation 2, Gamecube)

Theo’s Waste Basket will be an ongoing addition to my normal posts. My friend Thelonious finds old games that are commonly considered to be bad and gives them another look.

Introduction

If there’s one thing I know about video game franchises, it’s that outside of the core series, everyone likes to race. Mario and the gang have 8 games, Rare’s Diddy Kong Racing ganged up all its cute anthropomorphic pals and put together a unique racing game that had some semblance of a plot if you played it right, and in the last few years, Sega released their “all-star” kart racer. I guess driving is a lot of fun when you don’t have to save the world. But we’re not driving.

Why the hell would sonic need a car?

 

History

Sonic CD was the second game developed by Travelers Tales. It’s a familiar name. If you’ve played anything with “Lego” before the name of a movie series, they developed it. But back in the far-off land of 1996, Sonic Team began talking with the company about making a second Sonic game, the first being 3D Blast, which was a monument to the mega-drive’s processing capabilities. Like Sonic 3D Blast was for the Mega-drive and Genesis. Sonic R was meant to show the processing power and ability the Sega Saturn was capable of. On Halloween, Sonic R was released in North America.

A lot of VERY good games were released in 1997, so let’s look at just the big titles released around the same time. These games were: PaRappa the Rapper (PS1), Curse of Monkey Island (PC) and Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back (PS1) with Diddy Kong Racing not far behind, released November 24th. The PC version I played was released the following year.

Nostalgia

I barely even remember when I played Sonic R the first time. It certainly wasn’t on its original console. I was obsessed with Sonic, though. I don’t even remember where it came from but my youth was spent playing Sonic, Sonic 2 and Sonic 3 on the Genesis because damn did I love going fast and the color blue. I don’t have much memory of when I first played it though. I just borrowed a CD from a friend, and played it on our first computer, back in…shit, the early 2000’s?

At least it came with MYST.

 

The first time I played it, I was so excited. Sonic! Racing! I could play it! Unlike Myst with its prerendered, 3d pictures, I could run around a bunch of colorful, detailed courses. After a few races, I spent a lot of time in time attack exploring the maps.There was Flicky Island, which I remember from the comics, a Casino Night Zone/City streets area, A robotic stronghold, ancient ruins and a shining gemstone track in space you unlocked by coming in first on the four other tracks. Five maps isn’t all that impressive, even for 1997. I was a bit disappointed then, but I loved Sonic and I would take what I could get, dammit.

 

Gameplay

Like most early sonic games, the control scheme was simple, just brought into 3d. the up arrow went forward, left and right turned, but back let you crouch and instead of jumping when you pressed the spacebar you’d charge up a spindash and speed ahead. Mercifully, the left and right arrow keys were bound to drift, and not turn, making cornering possible.Turning normally I found out, playing with a friend on the Gamecube’s Mega Collection, is bogus and awful.  I found drifting mapped to the shoulder buttons on the controler and smoked him every race. Even on the gamecube though, the movement felt floaty. turns, even when i was drifting were very wide and sapped your speed immensely. Collision with walls and other characters was fine, but you would bounce and ricochet off of other racers like they were balloons making the beginning of races very chaotic and left me in last until i caught up.

There were also weather controls where different weather caused different track conditions. Rain made tracks slick, snow froze water that you could then walk on. It was a thing. There was a pretty big cast list, each racer had an unlockable alternate if you collected the 5 coins hidden on a stage and beat them in a head to head race. If you collected all the emeralds hidden across the first four stages, you could even be Super Sonic! All the characters have their own traits too; Tails flies, Knuckles glides, Sonic is faster, Amy drives? (sure why not) and Robotnik has the Egg-1 which fires a missile. I guess there was also back-story somewhere, but no one told me about it and it’s not ever brought up in the game. Pick a map, race, I guess Robotnik is there. Ho-hum.

Tails doll is a meme now, I presume everyone else faded into alcoholism.

 

The Salvage

You are wrong. I know what you’re going to say and you are wrong. The music is well produced and in ANY non-video game setting, a CD perhaps, it would have had its fans. I still listen to the credit music sometimes. Music aside…

 

The Scrap

It has not aged well. At all. The characters are low low polygon, with very minimal detail, the maps have even less polygons. The ruins, fortress and city stages are pretty graphically detailed, but every map but the last feels very short. Control issues are there, even on drifting, I found myself hitting walls on tight turns. Collecting emeralds and coins can be a nightmare. You had to get all 5 coins AND come in first to even have a chance of unlocking the new racer. The same goes for emeralds. Come in first, or get nothing. You can collect rings for a speed booster that for a price will accelerate you for a bit but it’s nearly useless. You’re better off using the rings to open up a ring gate that provides a better shortcut or opens up an emerald to collect on your next pass. Some gates are literally just a gate without anything else. It just sits to the side so you can open it later and have an emerald just out in the open. It’s weird and feels unfinished. There are a lot of characters, sure, but the unlockables are only better versions of their non-robot selves and Amy’s car is slow, sounds like someone giving you a constant raspberry and the boost you get in place of being able to jump didn’t last long enough to make her a viable racer in any circumstance (I still won with her). Speaking of slow, after you unlock Super Sonic, there’s no chance of you winning as anyone else. None of the maps are very well designed and the final map is just rainbow road. They didn’t even try to hide it. Is there more? Probably…

 

The Decision

I downloaded a .rar trying to get some nostalgia and it happened to have the entire soundtrack. If you want some 90’s R&B, find a download of that. I can’t get the .iso file to play so I’m gonna delete it.