The Misadventures of Tron Bonne (Playstation 1)

 Introduction

How did the Bonnes pay for that giant flying machine of theirs? Well, how does anyone finance a large investment? They got a loan of course– right this way are you looking for a car, a house, or a fully armed flying armada? Unfortunately their loan shark is the vicious Lex Loath and he wants his money and exorbitant interest on top of it. Play as Tron Bonne leading Servbots into battle while controlling Tron’s latest fighting machine.

Her latest creation is called the Gustaff and it’s a really solid fighting machine.

 

History

 Sorry guys, I couldn’t find hide nor hair about the development or history of this game. It came with a demo for Legends 2 and that’s pretty cool.

Fun Fact: The voice actor for Bon Bonne is the same woman who voices Pikachu. She’s in Legends 1 and 2 but not in this game for some reason.

The Misadventures of Tron Bonne was released on April 30th, 1999. It’s competition was Team Fortress Classic (PC), Pokemon Snap (Nintendo 64), and Baldur’s Gate: Tales of the Sword Coast (PC).

Nostalgia

Back in the day we didn’t have none a’ that fancy internet. I learned about games from friends and advertisements until my uncle subscribed me to Playstation Magazine. It’s a little obsolete considering how much free advertising there is nowadays but back then it was invaluable. It was filled with exclusive looks at titles, cheats, walkthroughs for the most popular games, I wouldn’t have completed Kingdom Hearts without it. I wouldn’t have known about this game without my subscription. I remember thinking, “I get to play as Tron Bonne? Sign me the fuck up!”

Gameplay

This game is unlike the standard Megaman affair in a few ways. The Gustaff is not as agile as Megaman and Tron has an army of Servbots to do her bidding. That being said the Gustaff can take WAY more punishment than the blue bomber, I upgraded the heck outta my health and I was never at risk for dying. You’ll have to make up for your lack of agility by sending your Servbots to do your bidding. The Gustaff can fire a “beacon bomb” to mark enemies and useful targets for the Servbots to investigate.

The cutest robbery.

Lex Loath kidnaps Teisel and Bon and is holding them ransom for the one million zenny debt you owe him. So, you’ve got to get your pirate hat on and steal whatever you can find in order to get the money. You’ll be searching ancient ruins for treasure, stealing animals, robbing banks, and looting harbors in order to foot the bill. You’ll be solving block puzzles, running around in the Gustaff and dealing damage, or using a more tactical mindset controlling the Finkle, a small flying camera with a mean charge. There are enough missions to match your playstyle to get the money you need no matter how things go down so just have fun.

That’s Lex on the right. Sleazy…. as…. fuck.

Servbots add a whole bunch of different angles to missions, they’re indestructible, loyal, but a little incompetent. They’ll be fixing their mistakes a lot, with Miss Tron’s expert guidance of course. Occasionally a Servbot will get lazy and that means it’s a trip to the TORTURE ROOM for them– that’s right, the Gessellschaft has a Servbot torture room to keep them all on their toes. Servbots also have special skills. These skills can get unlocked by raising their stats or giving them a special item to inspire them. Most of these skills are really useful, some of them aren’t– in combat anyway. If you want to change the music or alter the Gustaff’s appearance then these “useless” skills will come in handy for you.

 

The Gush

Holy Servbots Batman. There are 40 Servbots in all and they’re all on the ship somwhere, they all have a unique personality and a short bio– I love reading about these guys and seeing them in action.

You upgrade the Gustaff by spending money at Research and Development and I thought that was really interesting. Do you spend your money on upgrades or save it up to pay Loath? I mean, who know’s what he’s doing to Teisel in the meantime.

Denise Marmalade is a police lady who always shows up to try and stop Tron. If you’re doing your job right then she won’t succeed but dammit does she try. She’s just got this down on her luck attitude that makes you feel sorry for ruining her day.

If you thought Sabin from Final Fantasy 6 was tough, this mild mannered police lady can actually JUDO THROW the Gustaff. That’s metal.

It’s super fun to be able to see the inside of the Gessellschaft. It’s got a bunch of room with all sorts of stuff in them.

You’ll spend most of your time on the bridge…

… But there’s nothing stopping you from taking a little visit to Teisel’s study.

BTW, did I mention that you’re playing the villains? I know the Bonnes are pretty benign as far as villains go but I’m always up for playing the bad guys.

Like all Legends games the music is top notch.

 

The Kvetch

I know that Tiesel has been kidnapped so he can’t appear but he’s my favorite Bonne. I know he’s more hands off and Tron is usually behind the controls but I would have liked to hear that maniacal laugh of his a little more.

I love Servbots, they’re awesome. But the training minigames you play for them are tedious as hell and not fun at all. I usually skipped them altogether and hoped my shooting and dodging skills would make up for it.

There are only three weapons in this game. I know it’s not technically a Megaman game but three weapons is kind of a let down. The Gustaff could be outfitted with a gun that shoots snakes or something but sadly that’s not meant to be.

The Verdict

 If you like any of the Legends games then I recommend this game. I love it, no nostalgia here. It’s a unique Megaman experience, playing as the bad guys.

Next Week: Baldur’s Gate Dark Alliance.

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Zoe’s MMO Corner: Guild Wars

Hi guys, I’m Zoe, an old friend of your normal blog writer.  Since we like very different kinds of games, I’m popping in probably once a month to review a different MMORPG to get some other types of games up here.  Enjoy!

Guild Wars is a one time payment swords-and-sorcery RPG following the journey of the heroic PC out of Ascalon after a great disaster has befallen its people, forcing them to find a new home.

History and Development

Guild Wars was developed by ArenaNet, who basically only makes Guild Wars and Guild Wars 2 stuff because, I don’t know, commitment?  Some of the staff came from Blizzard originally and were involved in World of Warcraft development but left to pursue games that “took more risks” whatever that meant (ostensibly not price gouging or something).  Guild Wars was on the leading edge of the whole one time payment method of MMOs which made them pretty damn popular among my gang when I first started playing, let me tell you.

Guild Wars focuses a lot of its PvP (which I can’t really speak to because I don’t like PvP, sue me) but also on the environment of the whole thing.  Let me tell you, for its time, this game was frakkin’ gorgeous.  I mean, it’s still not bad (I logged in a few weeks ago just to look around and yeah, it holds up) but its nothing compared to what ANet is doing now (Coming soon: Guild Wars 2 review, you’ll see what I mean).  But Guild Wars set down a lot of what people now expect out of games visually.  I mean, let me show you some screenshots here:

This is from 2005, guys, and if you’re not impressed by that, you probably shouldn’t be using the internet.

I played Guild Wars in high school.  As in before all the expansions came out. Yes, I’m old, get over it.  But for me, Guild Wars would forever shape what I looked for in an MMO–namely, no other people.  See, Guild Wars uses this sort of odd multiplayer system (more on this later) that basically means that you don’t have to see anyone for most of the game.  And as someone who has always been absolutely TERRIBLE at making online friends, probably because I’m convinced they’re all going to either turn out to be 60 year old dudes or middle school boys, neither of which is a demographic I particularly like, Guild Wars made it easy for me to play an MMO like a single player game.

This later bit me in the ass.

Confession time, I have never finished the Guild Wars Prophecies campaign despite having played it for about eight years.  This is one of my greatest shames.

Character Creation

One race–human, obviously, let’s be boring–and six classes: Warrior, Monk (healer), Ranger, Elementalist (mage), Mesmer (illusionist), Necromancer.  Decent customization, but pretty stock.  At the time, the height slider was pretty new to MMOs and it was super fun because I have a thing for playing massively tall lady characters (more on this in the future).

At character creation you chose one class and then a couple of levels in you got a second one so you could sort of specialize to a certain extent, which was fun.  I liked to play Warrior/Monks which was basically the tankiest tank to ever tank–I have a fondness for tanks, I’m sure this’ll come up again–but there was a lot of possibility and that was pretty neat.

Story

The story of Guild Wars Prophecies–the first campaign–is huge.  Yesterday I tried to explain it and found out what a mess it is.  I started with “These giant cat things blow up your country with fire magic…” and sixty million steps later found myself saying “…and then you have to go out to the desert and go through these trials so you ascend or something” and realized that I had to stop.  And that was only half way through.  The story is vast.  It just keeps going.  When I was playing it, I remember being like, “Oh, yeah, of course this makes total sense,” but looking back on it, it kind of doesn’t.  It feels a little like stuff doesn’t build on itself, it just happens.  There is a LOT of plot.  Like, soap opera levels of plot.

Gameplay

Here’s the weird thing about Guild Wars: when you leave a town, it becomes a single player game.  No, seriously, you enter your own instance that’s just you and your party, should you chose to have one.  On the one hand, this is super cool because it cut out the PvE player competition for quest goals, but on the other, it was a sort of isolating experience and, for people like me, it made it even more difficult to be invested in the player base.  They did give you henchmen, but once you hit the level cap (which was 20, can you believe that?) the henchmen were shit.

The PvE storyline ran through missions, which were basically a series of dungeons spread out across the world map that filled in every player in a solo format–you would go to the mission location, enter the instance alone or with your party, complete the story, and pop out the other side with a new objective and the feeling that you were pretty awesome and the hero of Tyria or whatever.

Yeah, I wasn’t kidding about how massive this game is.

The level cap though was a problem because you hit that about half way through the game.  And there wasn’t a whole lot more you could do.  Armor and weaponry only did so much.  So they had this system in place where you could kill bosses and farm their skills, if you were of the same class, but let me tell you THAT PART SUCKED.  A lot.  Because you couldn’t choose what you got, oh no, and there were a lot of skills and so you’d just have to run around murdering things to steal their abilities in hopes that you’d get the right thing.  Unless you looked that stuff up.  Which I didn’t, on principle.

THAT is the reason I never finished it.  I got to this one place out in the desert where I could never complete the mission (I tried for a month, yes, A MONTH) and it was isolating so I didn’t have anyone to help me and I died a lot and my skills weren’t good enough and I was level twenty and everything around me was level twenty-seven and it was…frustrating.

Very.

Frustrating.

The Good

I always really liked the story and that kept me coming back for a long time, even though it is kind of rambling and confused and just keeps going.  The combat itself wasn’t half bad and the quests were relatively interesting, though still very MMO (fetch and gather, mass murder, escort, the usual).  The design and aesthetic were great (except for the female elementalists, someone need to get those ladies some clothing, poor things) and the world felt massive, which was super freakin’ cool.

Why do games do this?  I honestly do not understand.

The Bad

At the time I thought the open world all alone thing was awesome but now as someone who knows some of the benefits of having people, I’m willing to say that was a weak point of the game.  The community was also pretty iffy–I mean, there was a reason I avoided them.  Also, part of the way through you sort of lost any side quests and it turned into a massive hellish grindfest.

The Ugly

Stupid skill farming.  Stupid bosses.  Stupid stupid stupid.

From here…?

I don’t know.  I honestly want to finish this game and it’s on my list of shit I have to do before I die, but on the other hand, there’s not a whole lot that makes me want to go back and play it.  It’s not because it’s not good, because it is, because it’s fantastic and it did a lot for me and still does, but I have some serious trauma involving the Crystal Desert and it’s hard for me to get past that.

I’ve been looking at this view for literally three years and I never want to do it again.

Besides–and here’s what this comes down to–ANet did something that makes me not want to play Guild Wars again.  And that thing is…

Guild Wars 2.

Next Month: Guild Wars 2 and a lot of ranting about nine-foot-tall viking ladies.

Megaman Legends 2 (PS1)

Introduction

Professor Barrell, Megaman and Roll’s grandfather, and his old colleague Von Bluecher are making another attempt at landing on Forbidden Island– I know it’s dangerous but with a name like ‘Forbidden Island’ it’s just asking for people to explore it. A place where the Mother Load is said to be. Roll’s parents attempted this expedition and were never seen again. Barrell and Bluecher’s last expedition nearly cost them their lives. Megaman and Roll watch the proceeds on television, Roll’s dreams of finding the Mother Load are basically shattered. But, a woman who looks like Roll’s mother and a strange Reaverbot damage the engines on Bluecher’s ship. Sending it slowly into Forbidden Island anyway. Megaman and Roll have to use Roll’s father’s designs for a drop ship to get to Forbidden Island and save gramps– and all the other people on the ship, them too! Run, jump, and shoot in this stunning sequel.

I’m not sure which is more striking, Roll’s adorable pajamas or seeing Megaman in an apron.

History

There’s not much to say about the development of Legends 2 that wasn’t already said about Legends 1. That being said there was supposed to be a Legends 3. When asked about it after this game’s release Inafune said he wanted to do it but couldn’t at the time. Cut to 7 years after his games release, on September 29, 2010, all of the Legends fans rejoice at the announcement of Megaman Legends 3. Legends 3 is put on hold so that Capcom can test the waters by selling something called Megaman Legends 3: Prototype Version, stating that if Prototype Version sold well enough that they would release Legends 3.

On July 18, 2011 it was announced that the whole project was scrapped because, “it was not felt that the Mega Man Legends 3 project met the required criteria”. What does that even mean? Did the game fail to complete on time on its budget? Did it fail to meet some sort of weird requirement? Did you think it wouldn’t sell? I dunno, what I do know is that it’s a low blow to ask a game’s fans to buy another game to get the game they want to be finished or released. It’s just a manipulative tactic that’s not cool to use.

Pictured here was the fanbase’s reaction to Megaman Legends 3 getting cancelled.

Megaman Legends 2 was released on August 3rd, 2001. It’s competition was Max Payne (PC), Final Fantasy X (PS2), Silent Hill 2 (PS2), and Ico (PS2)

Nostalgia

Manuals, I love them. Nothing like getting all this background information that might not show up in the game but is cool to read about anyway, amirite? Well, the Legends 2 manual took a detour somewhere in translation hell. Character’s names are mistranslated all over the place so it’s hard to keep track of who’s who. I had wondered if perhaps there was something wrong with my manual and I was the estranged owner of a misprint manual but that’s not the case, they were all messed up. I’m curious why though, how a translation error like this happens. I guess I’m just glad that the game doesn’t suffer from translation problems, it’s engrish-free.

Gameplay

Like its predecessor this game is all about the jumping and shooting. Unlike its predecessor this game has other islands to explore. It’s basically the first game but with more. More about reaverbot mysteries, more pirates to fight, more ruins to explore, better animation, better load times, better mechanics. It also provides a satisfactory explanation for why Megaman doesn’t have all the gear he had in the first game, Roll pawned it all so she could fix the Flutter so well that it would never break down again. It’s sort of lame for there to be no bonus for owning the previous game, but true to her word the Flutter doesn’t suffer any sort of malfunctions.

And considering how far that ship’ll have to fly, I’m pretty grateful.

The Bonnes have teamed up with Glyde of the Loathe gang and two veteran pirates named Bola and Claymore. Without the Gesselschaft the Bonnes have had to rely on a fleet of smaller flying machines to get around. They’re still as crafty as ever. Glyde has superior firepower and stronger foot soldiers in his Bird-bots. But his birdbots are far more lazy than Tron’s Servbots. Bola and Claymore flex their veteran muscles by fighting Megaman in one on one fights, typically when the Blue Bomber is running on fumes. They present a much greater and varied threat than the Bonnes alone could.

There are 5 islands and another spoilery area to explore in this game. Ranging from frigid climates of Calinca to the deserts of Saul Kada from the jungle of Manda to the refurbished reaverbot ruin of Nino. Each area presents a totally different atmosphere and setting. It’s also really interesting to see more of this world covered in endless water. That being said, the map has kind of a lot of land for a world covered in endless water. It’s time to solve they mystery of the Mother Load.

SNOW! Also, characters sport new accessories. Behold, Roll’s winter coat and Megaman’s uselessly small but infinitely large backpack.

The Gush

The Bosses in this game are really fun to fight. Between fighting giant robots that barely fit in their rooms or fighting the whole pirate gang in a weaponized train– with an infinitely long track apparently.

Oh… uh… hey Punch Man. This guy is also more agile than you’d expect.

I love Bola and Claymore. Maybe it’s because I just wanted them to get a little more screen time, maybe it was because I was interested in how they amassed their fortunes, maybe it’s because I wanted to know what they looked like under their armor, maybe it’s because their theme music is just so catchy. I was just taken in by Bola’s cool demeanor and Claymore’s near indestructibility– defeated only because he throws his back out.

Just look at these guys! The only thing that could have made them better is if there was a fight against both of them at the same time.

Everything about this game is improved over the last one. The game is overall smoother. Megaman can move while he’s locked on now, loading screens are shorter, menu surfing is smoother. It’s the way a sequel should be.

Although the dungeons aren’t all interconnected they’re much more inventive. Between water physics and all the cool stuff that brings and the new and improved reaverbots Megaman’ll tackle it’s overall really cool.

The mega buster has better parts and the special weapons have become a little more niche. It’s difficult to express but special weapons aren’t just boss killers anymore, they’ll be helpful in beating the tougher normal enemies.

The Kvetch

These are Appo and Dah.

And they’re annoying as hell. They run around, need to be escorted, and shout all the goddam time. Not a second goes by with this guys around that they’re not shouting, “Over here!” or “This way!” at the top of their lungs.

I dunno what happened to Gramps between this game and the last one. In Legends 1 he was an uproariously proud and boisterous digger who was too old to put on the armor and go into the field. He was always full of life and energy. In this game it sounds like age caught up with him really fast. He speaks in a low grumbling tone. It’s still warm and kind, but that energy is gone and it was something that I looked forward to in the character.

The test to get the Class S digger license is a load of bull-honkey. It’s hard as hell and locks off a really cool water dungeon with lots of valuable loot inside. When I say hard as hell, I mean that it demands a nearly perfect run from the player to complete properly. What exacerbates the problem is that Megaman’s upgrades and special weapons are limited to what the exam gives him so the player can’t rely on their more impressive equipment.

Manda island sports a pretty good school for a jungle village. Megaman can take quizzes at the school to earn items. They’re 10 questions long and include topics ranging from brain teasers, to obscure music trivia. Doing the three base quizzes reveals a 100 questions quiz. This quiz sucks, they’re all pretty frustrating. What got my goat is that each quiz has a limited question pool so I’d see a question I had answered correctly before but couldn’t remember the answer to now.

Oh man, only 47 questions left.

Megaman got a new voice actor that kind of makes him sound like a girl. I know that he’s a 14 year old boy in this incarnation, so having a female voice actor isn’t unfeasible. I mean, Bart Simpson has a female voice actor and he sounds like a young boy. Megaman’s voice from the first game seemed to sound like a young boy more. Maybe I just hate change, maybe I’m just crazy. Drop a comment if you agree or you think I’m crazy.

This game is more transparent with its karma system than the last game. If Megaman does good things the his armor turns a brighter shade of blue, if he performs cruel deeds like kicking rabbits then his armor turns a darker shade of blue. This seems like a sort of silly thing but there are some merchants that will only sell to Megaman if he’s good or if he’s evil. How are you supposed to figure this out? I have NO CLUE! But some of these merchants sell incredibly useful items, from which special weapons can’t be crafted without.

So… there’s no Megaman Legends 3 and… at the end of the game SPOILERS Megaman ends up on the artificially created moon. So… Megaman is trapped on the moon. And until there’s a sequel he’s stuck there. That’s kind of a bummer.

The Verdict

I know the Gush section was much shorter than the Kvetch in this case but it’s just easier to condemn something than it is to laud its praises. And because this game still does all the things that he first game did right. I like this game a lot more than the previous game because it keeps things fresh by making them quicker. If you like the first then definitely play the second.

Next Week: The Misadventures  of Tron Bonne (Because completion)

Megaman Legends 1 (PS1)

Introduction

On a world covered in endless water Mega Man will take its jump to the third dimension– with awesome opening narration. This incarnation of the blue bomber is an explorer who uses his family’s flying machine to search the seas for ruins and treasure. He travels the skies and ruins as the adopted son of Barrel Casket and, his granddaughter, Roll Casket. Their flying machine is called The Flutter and she’s seen some better times. This latest expedition will lead Megaman to an adventure greater than he could have expected. Run, jump, shoot, and discover the secrets of an Island.

This island to be precise.

 

History

Keiji Inafune created Megaman back in 1987 and ten years later he would produce, and help design, Megaman Legends. Inafune and his team wanted to make a game that was just fun for the players. Unfortunately, Legend’s quality suffered because it was released before it had gotten the polish Inafune wanted to give it. Inafune said, “If we made it at the present time in modern quality, I believe that it would have sold a lot better,” on the matter of its early release. Inafune went as far as saying, “[My favorite game is] Mega Man Legends, a title that really didn’t sell well in the Mega Man franchise,” in 2007 at Comic Con.

Megaman Legends was also released on the Nintendo 64 and the PC in increasingly bad ports. Each one receiving a lower score from reviewers than the Playstation release.

Fun Fact: In the Japanese release Megaman’s name is Rock, like all of his Japanese counterparts– I’ve got to say Rock is just a more sensible first name than Megaman. If you were at a coffee shop and you started a conversation with someone and when you left you asked his name and he said, ‘My name is Megaman,’ I think we’d all give him an odd look and never call him back.

Megaman Legends was released in the US on August 31st 1998. It’s competition was Medieval (PS), Spyro the Dragon (PS), and Metal Gear Solid (PS)– no wonder this title got blown out of the water.

Nostalgia

This was the first Megaman release for the Playstation and it came as a big surprise for me. I was familiar with the Megaman games from my Super Nintendo days so I thought that Megaman would be a Nintendo property until the day I died but it was the first game in my life that not only jumped platforms but also jumped into the 3rd dimension. At first I didn’t like it, I kept wondering where Dr. Wily was, but eventually I warmed up to the game. I realized that it was a different take on the Blue Bomber. A take that included things like a plot, a story, and interesting characters. Not to say that there’s anything wrong with the jumping and shooting that the previous incarnations bring, it’s just that this game is a different beast.

What is this 3-d world? And why doesn’t it look totally awful?

Gameplay

Even though this game was strong RPG elements it’s still a Megaman game and is therefore all about jumping and shooting robots. And boy are there robots to shoot and lots of weapons to shoot them with. Like Megaman games before it Legends presents quite an arsenal for the Blue Bomber. Unlike other Megaman games he doesn’t get more weapons from defeating bosses in this game he can find stuff in the ruins he explores. His partner, Roll, can take these seemingly dissimilar junk parts and make sweet special weapons from them. Megaman’s buster can also be upgraded with buster parts that can make it shoot further or do more damage among other things. So check everywhere for stuff, you never know when a hole in the wall might contain valuable stuff.

As far as the story goes, not soon after Megaman lands on the island it gets attacked by a gang of pirates called the Bonnes who are searching for treasure that is rumored to be hidden somewhere on the island. Since the police force isn’t really trained to repel pirate attacks it falls to Megaman to fend off the sky-borne ne’er-do-wells– Yarrr.

From left to right we have Bon, Tron, and Tiesel.

When Megaman isn’t fighting pirates or trying out his new weapons he’ll probably be exploring ruins and solving some pretty easy puzzles. The ruins are interesting just to look at. Most of them look different and I always wondered, “who made these places and why?”

 

The Gush

I love the Bonnes. They’re dangerous but still comic relief. Unlike the other villains of the game, they’re human. So they have human flaws and have human problems. Watching Tiesel lose his patience and throw a little tantrum is hilarious. But Trons creations present decent challenges. Their flying machine is called the Gesselschaft which is German for society and is often extrapolated as a sociological term which are things people do for their own benefit. I didn’t get that for years down the line but it did make sense why pirates would call their home base a term for doing things for personal gain.

Such as Bruno, the walking weapons platform. Literally every part of this guy has weapons on it except his torso and his head.

Or the Fokkerwolf which presents a highly mobile and powerful opponent even if it is a little fragile.

And how could I mention this game without talking about the Servbots, Tron’s faithful and indestructible minions.

Each one has their own unique personality and they’re just so cute.

 

All of the characters are actually really interesting. From Gramp’s mechanical parts, the plights of the city’s mayor, and the machinations of the local “gang” there’s always someone new to meet with near Earthbound levels of humorous dialogue. Also some characters can initiate little mini-quests and puzzles to earn buster parts, items that can be developed into sub weapons, or money.

The sub-weapons in this game range from simple to intense. There’s the Machine Gun Arm that does what you’d expect, fire a lot of shots. Then there’s the Shining Laser which can pierce enemies hitting multiples at once for massive damage! All of them have upgradeable attributes so I recommend toying around with them and seeing which ones suit your playstyle.

The Bonnes aren’t the only ones making robots of mass destruction. The underground ruins are swarming with and defended by reaverbots. Some of these reaverbots dwarf Megaman, but that’s never stopped him before. The boss fights in this game are almost always a joy.

We got big reaverbots!

Fast reaverbots!

And annoying reaverbots with unbreakable shields!

The plot and mystery of the game is marvelous. It’s a great tale about what it means to dig too deep and dealing with the consequences of it. It answers a few questions about this water covered world but asks just as many more, striking a nice balance between mystery and resolution.

The music in this game is really good. It fills me with fear when something intense is happening or perfectly compliments the dank ruins of the underground.

The Kvetch

Some sub-weapon upgrades are just plain too expensive. Most of them are for giving the weapon unlimited ammo but 99990 is just too much zenny to reasonably farm for anything. The best enemies in the game only drop 2000 per so I’d have to destroy 50 of them, going in and out of the room repeatedly. And that’s just for the final stage of the upgrade and not including any of the other stats.

New Game plus allows a player to start the game over but there’s no real benefit to doing so. They can change the difficulty to hard on the second playthrough and then easy on the third, each one increasing money drops. But there’s no carry over between the playthroughs so I don’t really see the point.

Although the plot does answer some questions it answers almost none about who Megaman is. I posits that there’s something unique about Megaman even though this world has other Megamen but doesn’t elaborate on it overmuch. I guess that’s what sequels are for.

The camera is not always your friend in this game. It sometimes does what is pleases and leads to the player getting blindsided by enemies they couldn’t have seen coming.

Locking on in this game is nearly a waste of your time. The player can’t move and lock on at the same time. It suddenly gives a character like Megaman, the original jumper and shooter, the decision to choose one. Shots generally tend toward your opponents even when you’re not locked on but the fight against the agile Fokkerwolf are exasperated because it’s really hard to hit. This problem also gets highlighted when enemies on the ceiling are throwing bombs all over the place. In these situations the camera pans up and makes it impossible to see the explosives below as they bounce around. It’s problematic overall.

The Verdict

Those complaints are little niggles trying to chip away at a rock solid game. Kattleox is fun to explore, the characters are fun to see, and the enemies are fun to fight. Overall I think this game is super good… but… I have to admit that I’m pretty nostalgia blind for it. It was one of my first Playstation games and I played the heck out of it because I might have forced myself to get into it because I didn’t have anything else to play– like a videogame version of Stockholme Syndrome. So maybe make a friend who’s into Megaman already buy it first and try it?

Next Week: Megaman Legends 2– Electric Boogaloo.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Clear Sky

Introduction

In 1986 on April 26th around 1:23 in the morning reactor four of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant explodes. This was actually caused by secret experiments drawing too much power from the reactor. The subsequent evacuation and creation of the Alienation Zone is the perfect cover up for more secret experiments. In 1991 the Soviet Union collapses but the experiments continue. In 2001 a bus filled with tourists goes missing and The Zone is sealed off “completely”. In 2006 the military quarantine around The Zone is utterly destroyed, the sky blazes with bright light and the earth quakes as a wave of energy explodes through the Zone, this is known as an Emission or a Blowout. The Zone expands in size by 5 kilometers. In 2007 enterprising mercenaries and hunters enter this Alienation Zone in order to find objects of worth. In 2011 you play as Scar, a mercenary stalker (Scavenger, Trespasser, Adventurer, Loner, Killer, Explorer, and/or Robber), escorting some scientists into The Zone. The sky brightens and the earth begins to tremble, The Zone suffers another Blowout. Scar survives the Blowout, despite being completely unprotected. The Zone expands another 5 kilometers.

Then this old man starts asking you a lot of questions like, “Why aren’t you incredibly dead?”

History

The Stalker games were developed by GSC Game World, a critically undermanned and underfunded game studio. It took them seven years to finish Stalker: Shadow of Chernobyl but it only took them a year to make Stalker: Clear Sky– I guess making a game engine really takes a lot out of you. GSC is no more, unfortunately. After trying to port Stalker to the Xbox and PS3 they scrapped that and tried to make Stalker 2 but that project was also scrapped.

The Stalker series of games are based on a Movie from 1979 simply called Stalker. Which in turn is based on a short story called Roadside Picnic, which was published in 1972. They all share certain traits in common, the existence of a Zone, with peculiar things in it, men who will do what they need to get these things, and something that grants wishes. I haven’t seen the movie or read the story but Stalker seems like a very loose adaptation but taken in a very interesting direction.

GSC created and used the X Ray 1.5 engine and as a result it has really dynamic lighting which is great for a survival horror shooter. It also provides weather, water effects, and a day and night cycle. All of this was employed by the developers to really bring the Zone to life– and make things more creepy..

Nothing like good lighting to point out how terrifying… this… thing is.

Stalker: Clear Sky was released in the United states on September 5th, 2008. It’s competition included Spore (PC), Silent Hill: Homecoming (PS3, Xbox 360, and PC), Dead Space (PS3, Xbox 360), and Bioshock (Ps3, Xbox 360, and PC). (Geez, tough crowd).

Nostalgia

When I was in college I was part of the computer club and every once and awhile someone would start playing Stalker. After one person would start someone would say, “I never did beat that, lemme give it a shot.” Soon the whole room was filled with cursing college students getting their faces rocked by mutants and shotgun blasts. We started coming up with stupid stories about The Zone and acting out little scenarios between characters from the games. And even though that has all passed there is still some remnant that all Stalker fans can enjoy, the “Get out of here Stalker meme.” If you’re not sure that someone you know is a Stalker fan–I mean should this bizarre niche need ever arise– just tell them to “Get out of here Stalker,” in a bad Russian accent and if they’re response is to hang their head or grimace you’ll know they are.

Seriously, can’t a dude who’s glitched himself into a locker while creepily staring at you get a moment’s peace?

Gameplay

Stalker: Clear Sky is a survival shooter so… let that just sink in for a second. Most shooters that I’ve played do not involve the consequence of injury, or the expenditure of bullets as seriously as Stalker does. This, combined with the crack enemy AI and the brutal numbers associated with damage makes this game hard as hell. Everything is trying to hurt poor old Scar, other Stalkers, mutants, space-time anomalies, and even the air– if radiation counts as the air trying to kill you (It’s usually in the water, but it’s all over the place). The game’s scenarios put the player in a situation where they’ll pick up fallen weapons and unload them just for a few extra bullets but throw the weapon behind because it’s too heavy and every Kilogram of weight works against the player. Weapons also jam with infuriating frequency, an unreliable weapon jamming can get you shot up quick.

Encumbrance is no joke in this game. It measures the weight of every single bullet in your inventory and if you go over your 50 kg load you’re gonna have a bad time.

The controls in this game seem normal at first WASD to move, mouse to shoot. But X makes you sprint and [ uses a medkit and ] uses bandages. It took me 5 minutes of hitting every key on my keyboard to figure out that Y changes the ammo type you’re using and = changes the firing type of you weapon. Reader be warned, you might want to map your controls to something that fits your playstyle.

The game’s big hook mechanic is territory control. Each chapter of the game includes a situation where 2 factions are at war and the player may choose a side. It’s extremely beneficial between the money, favors, items, and reputation you’ll garner to participate. The first faction war is sort of a tutorial and you can’t choose a side but you may in the other two. Be careful which faction you choose because the benefits are exclusionary and there’s no going back once you’ve chosen.

Anomalies present an interesting dilemma to the player. There are objects in anomalous areas called artifacts and these artifacts have a myriad of extremely beneficial effects like healing the player or eliminating radiation. Going into the fields is incredibly dangerous but the prices that these artifacts garner can be extremely useful disregarding their other benefits. Speaking of anomalies, they’re everywhere and extremely dangerous. The Whirligig and Vortex anomalies are very common, they catch the player, mess with they’re controls, then explode. Even veteran players still gets caught in their grip, unable to escape before they die, from time to time. But, just like the Stalker movie, Scar is equipped with a bag full of bolts which he can throw to trigger or detect anomalies.

Who’da thought these little guys would be so useful?

The Kvush

The glitches, dear goodness, they’re everywhere. One time the game crashed because I had the sheer audacity to have a guide take me somewhere. Not somewhere I wasn’t supposed to go, just to the next town. That being said, sometimes the glitches can be hilariously funny. These rampant occurrences have given rise to the phrase, “Such is life in the Zone.” No matter what’s going on it’s just the Zone’s weirdness, certainly not a problem with the game.

Blurry people phasing through floors. Such is life in the Zone.

People phasing into other people. Such is life in the Zone.

The voice acting in this game is shockingly good for such a low key title. Unfortunately, like The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion, it’s got like… 5 guys doing it all. They’re chops include trying to sound tough when they’re voicing bandits, or trying to sound stoned when they’re voicing guys from the Freedom faction. Then again Steve Blum did two of the voices for this game and he does a very good job.

The Gush

The territory mechanics are usually spot on and really fun. The organizations are really dynamic, choosing one can be an uphill challenge or have interests that the player has stake in. Taking objective after objective while keeping your team alive sounds like a dumb escort mission but these guys aren’t chumps. Sometimes they’re better equipped than you are. It’s an odd feeling being in an FPS traveling with someone else for protection instead of the other way around.

The Zone has a beautiful atmosphere. Stalkers in camps and settlements talk with each other, in Russian. They banter, they argue, and they laugh. To see men in a place like this fighting untold monsters and then to hear them laugh because Smitty over there risked his life to pick up a useless rock he thought was an artifact is really cool. Mutants attack camps and are beaten back by independent squads. There are a lot of events that go on without intervention by the player. Bandits attack or are repelled. There’s a whole world of things going on that the player can choose to involve themselves in or ignore.

There are 8 minutes of guitar tracks the game plays when a Stalker at a campsite breaks out his dusty guitar. Sometimes I even sit and listen.

The music is really atmospheric and perfectly puts the player on edge. The moody synth sounds put the player in a mood to face the strange and unusual. The game itself is visually stunning. It’s a little dated and a little brown but I think it presents a ruined wilderness very well.

Take in this scene. A tree, nearly dead, hanging over the entry path to a dilapidated church filled with bandits that have take up residence.

The game may be difficult but it’s all downhill from here, sort of. The game has this peculiar way of getting easier the further you go on instead of more difficult. The more powerful armor and artifacts can make the player incredibly durable and the more powerful weapons can deal heavy damage to even the most armored stalker.

The Kvetch

The finale and ending to this game might make you feel like you’ve wasted your time reaching it. It’s so bizarre that a game that I love so much has such a terrible ending. The game is about exploration, solving a mystery, seeing the unknown, getting some mad loot and the finale is about shooting dudes. Shooting dudes in increasingly one-sided scenarios. I had to deal with not one, but four machine gun nests. Did you run out of ideas, developers? The ending itself is a great lead up to Shadow of Chernobyl but it doesn’t give any closure to Scar, the guy we’ve been invested in and playing for the past 20 hours.

The Verdict

I think Stalker: Clear Sky is a great game. Through the glitches– funny or game breaking, the adequate voice acting, and the incredibly disappointing ending I think this game is a really good survival shooter and a step forward for the Stalker series. It made numerous improvements over the previous title and presented a larger more playgroundy world to explore and have fun in. I’m not blinded by nostalgia for this one, I only played it recently, so this review is free of rose tintedness. I highly suggest picking it up if this interests you.

Next Week: Megaman Legends

Brave Fencer Musashi (PS1)

 

Introduction

(This post contains many food puns. Reader groans are inevitable.) That Allucaneet Kingdom is under attack by the vicious Thirst Quencher Empire– and remember, even food based empires are evil and food based kingdoms are good. In a moment of desperation Princess Filet uses a spell that’s been passed down her family for generations. A spell that’s meant to summon a hero, THE hero of legend. She speaks the incantation and calls forth a small blue haired boy who claims to be the master swordsman Musashi. The hero of legend had gotten shorter and younger than he had once been but his task is no less great– it’s actually strangely similar to the legend itself…

As you can see, they’re off to a lovely start.

 

History

It’s strange where an idea begins. Hironobu Sakaguchi, the games director, envisioned the game to be about Miyamoto Musashi, the famous sword fighter, fighting and living in a world he didn’t belong. Then I guess, somewhere along they way, they decided to market the game to children. Sakaguchi didn’t have high hopes for the project but after seeing a few technical demonstrations his hope returned. It was difficult to identify Musashi as a wanderer so they made his character more samaritanish. The technical challenge of the game was to get polygons to move in real time and still look good, something I think they succeeded at.

Fun Fact: In the Japanese release all of the villains are named after alcohol, but very much like Vodka Drunkinski, they changed all of them to be about soda.

I’m sorry, I meant Soda Popinski. It’s totally different. And he can’t drive because he’s got a big caffeine buzz.

Brave Fencer Musashi came out on October 31st in 1998. It went up against Oddworld: Abe’s Exodus (PS1), Half-Life (PC), and Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped (PS1).

 

Nostalgia

This game and Final Fantasy VIII fed each other in this weird way for me. Each of them had a demo disk that had the other’s game on it. I played the Brave Fencer demo until I was red in the face for wanting to play it. Then I stopped playing FF VIII because I didn’t get the Junction system. When I played its demo that came with Brave Fence it renewed my interest in the game and when I came back to it I suddenly could wrap my head around this byzantine silliness. And that’s the power of a good demo, game industry. If you want people to play your game show us what it’s like and if we like it then we’ll buy it. None of this Colonial Marines stupidity, just show us the game and we’ll buy it.

Gameplay

Brave Fencer Musashi is an action hack ‘n’ slash with platforming and RPG elements. Musashi has got to maneuver between attacks and strike while the iron is hot with his blades, Fusion and Lumina. Fusion attacks quickly, doesn’t do a lot of damage, but can combo nicely. Lumina swings slow but hits like a runaway truck. Fusion can also be used to absorb an enemy to give Musashi a useful ability. Some of these abilities have utility purposes, some allow passage through areas, and others give Musashi combat edges over his enemies. Musashi can also charge for a little while to execute a spinning attack and, if you’re really good, unleash a devastating counter attack after blocking an incoming move. In RPG style, Musashi can gain levels by using his weapons, defeating enemies, and just walking around. Musashi can also spend his hard earned loot on healing items or food at the local shops. As a being from another world Musashi has to eat a lot.

Musashi can learn new techniques from Knights of the castle and the most unlikely of characters.

Musashi’s quest requires him to find the 5 scrolls, those of Earth, Water, Fire, Wind, and Sky. And to find Musashi’s old legendary armor. All of these things allow him to platform or otherwise reach places he hadn’t been able to before. This creates a cool gating mechanism where Musashi can go new places, find new stuff, meet new people, learn new moves, and then kick more Thirstquencher butt then ever before.

Musashi can’t swim and basically melts in water so the Water Scroll is really important.

There’s a lot to see and do in the Kingdom of Allucaneet. Beyond going to the next objective there are a bunch of hidden palace members which extend Musashi’s BP (Like his mana), and Minku creatures who hold Longevity Berries which must be stolen to increase Musashi’s HP– animal cruelty HO!

 

The Gush

The music in this game is incredible. Every single area has its own theme and each theme promotes adventure! It’s all high octane and fast paced to match our swift fencing protagonist. You can rescue musicians for the palace just to spice up the music there. Musical stylings range from classical to more rock tunes. It’s emphasis on movement can make hurrying up and waiting annoying at times. But it’s all so wonderfully frantic.

The game over screens are fantastic. Musashi is mortally wounded and makes a quick one-liner before fading away such as, “If I die, I hope I’m reincarnated as Musashi again.”

The characters in this game are great. Most of their dialogue is voiced and it really shows their emotions. They’ve got witty dialogue that matches them wonderfully.

Come on, it’s gotta be good. Steve Blum voice acts this mysterious treasure hunter.

There are a lot of really cool dungeons. From mines, to lofty peaks every nook and cranny of this world longs to be explored. There are just so many well designed places. Most of their purposes are obvious but sometimes I wonder, what was the ice palace a palace for?

Weird ruins? Flying vampire zombies (Vambie for short)? Strange glyphs? Sign me up.

The art is really pretty for a PS1 game. Sometimes I just look at the backgrounds. The sprite work is also really good for the time. Their animation is really smooth.

I really like that there are 35 people to rescue from the castle and some of them aren’t useful. The janitor just keeps saying that he’s the honor of toilets everywhere or something. It just goes to show that the attendants of the castle are not all important in this conflict, as they shouldn’t be. But they’re still all funny.

The bosses in this game are bananas. They’re all huge and require interesting tricks in order to defeat. It’s not about unloading punishment it’s about finding and exploiting weaknesses. The only slug fight is with Kojiro, a rival fencer, so it makes perfect sense for the fight to be about actual fighting.

“I heard it was someone’s birthday! I brought my favorite gift! Death.”

The combat is good overall. Fighting with Fusion and Lumina is satisfying before Musashi starts learning combos. Fusion’s quickness and Lumina’s range give them an interesting interplay between each other. The charge up techniques also create a risk vs reward system of dodging attacks to unleash more damage than ever. And then the blocking counterattack move is a nice little hidden trick that’ll surprise a player for taking advantage of an enemy’s opening.

THIS GAME HAS IN-GAME ACTION FIGURES! That is all. The 12 year old in me and the 12 year old me that played this game loved those little pieces of digital plastic. With their crappy playing animations. I still remember Capricola’s action figure had dumb poses with his gun accompanied by grunts.

 

 The Kvetch

The villains are a little flat– SODA PUNS! The big bad is evil for the sake of being evil and his lieutenants twirl their non-existent mustaches all the time. Evil isn’t a stand in for anything here, it’s just a romp to save the princess and beat up some bad guys.

 

What happened to Rootrick? That art looks great but this model looks… like a mashed potato man with a gargoyle face.

 

All of the puzzle situations, or places where Musashi isn’t fighting are super difficult. I couldn’t figure out the Shogi Puzzle in the Meandering Forest without a guide, nor could I solve Soda Fountain’s Calendar Puzzle. And I can’t tell you how many times I was stumped by Steamwood part two (Binchotite Boogaloo). Maybe I’m just bad, but these were all unfun levels of hard for me.

 

The Verdict

I really like this game. I would get to the final parts of the game and play for hours. With so many things to find I bet you get something really cool for it all.

Depends on your definition of the word, “cool.”

But it’s definitely worth playing all the way through.

Next Week: S.T.A.L.K.E.R. : Clear Sky

Final Fantasy VIII (PS1)

Introduction

Squall is an emotionally stunted teenage mercenary who has finished his final exams. He is now eligible to get sent out to do real wet-work and other dangerous missions (Wait… hold on. There are teenage mercenaries? Most of them are orphaned? Yeah because teenage mercenaries are killing soldiers and leaving their children parentless. And then the cycle propogates itself. Cid… you monster). His first mission gets messy and embroils his academy into a war. This war then gets messy and embroils the world in a conflict over relative time and space. Throw in a couple of romances, some kooky characters, some sweet settings, and a leveling up system that made my head spin and we’ve got a game.

Apparently this is what leveling up looks like… uh… umm…. I’ll get back to this later.

History

Another Final Fantasy game with the same old crew. It’s bizarre to think that most FF games begin with Yoshitaka Amano’s art and then those designs get extrapolated and integrated by writers and graphic designers into a cohesive product but that’s how it happens. Squall’s and Seifer’s trademark scars just started as something interesting Amano added to the designs and they turned into a symbol of bitter rivalry and parallel ability. Or how the card game came into being because they were popular in Japan at the time and so they made one, the simplest things provoke design and expansion (And then how those simple designs can get blown out of proportion).

Somehow that first image becomes the second. (And the Final Fantasy desire for more than the usual number of belts begins. Also, Jesus, Squall have you ever gone outside. He looks damn near translucent.)

Final Fantasy VIII was also the second game to get a release for PC. It had sharper but more jarring visuals, slightly worse background images, and more midi sounding music. It was also more difficult to control with a keyboard instead of a keyboard (X is the gunblade trigger, what were these guys thinking?). Steam’s PC port even includes a magic booster which provides Squall and his friends with a pool of simple spells to start the game with (Which would make sense considering they’re learning in a university that specializes in the application of magical warfare). When I was growing up it was also strangely difficult to find a computer that it ran well on.

Fun Fact: This is the first Final Fantasy with an ongoing internal monologue.

Funner Fact: This is the first Final Fantasy game with realistic models for characters.

Final Fantasy VIII was released on September 9th 1999. It’s competition was Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage (PS1), Heroes of Might and Magic III (PC), and Ape Escape (PS1).

Nostalgia

This is the first Final Fantasy game that I completed. There may have been a Gameshark involved and a lot of swearing but that doesn’t change the fact that I beat it. It was difficult even with a Squall with maxed out stats, one overpowered character does not an effective party make. And there are some fights that can’t be won with brute force alone. I didn’t do as much exploring as I would have otherwise and I didn’t figure out how to make the Junction system work. I’m so glad I revisited it and gave it an honest go though. Delving into it’s systems was one of the major points of playing and even if it meant a few saves that were basically unsalvageable and starting over… there was also a lot of cursing involved.

Also, navigating the debug menu was a giant nightmare.

Gameplay

It’s a Final Fantasy game so get ready for some angsty and over the top characters (Now don’t confuse those groups), turn based combat, a plot that’ll make your head spin a little, some minigames, and a brand new system that isn’t seen before or since.

Our angsty protagonist is Squall, an emotionally damaged young man who finds himself unable to trust anyone or anything but himself. Someone who keeps his feelings bottled up inside because it’s impossible, and therefor foolish, to truly relate to anyone or anything… ugh. Sorry, but playing as this guy can get a little oppressive. I see his point of view and how he got there from being abandoned as a small and impressionable child and that he’s still young, young enough to snap out of it or change in any way. But it’s still difficult to hear him think and talk about it all the time like he doesn’t see the adoration and care that his companions have for him. But, having been this way myself (Oh past me, you’re always worse than present me), I can understand where he comes from. I didn’t want to see the way others cared about me because that would mean having to admit that I could or should do the same for them. And in the end Squall breaks these nasty habits at least a little bit.

I bet he thinks he’s so deep. If he brings an acoustic guitar to my party I’m gonna throw him out.

The over the top characters are basically the rest of the cast. They’re all uproarious and compelling in their own ways. With only six main party characters it’s easier to develop them. Unlike Final Fantasy VI and it’s cast of 14 characters, 5 out of 6 of these characters get development and closure (This is even a bigger fraction!).

Look at these bright faced young people. Time for their spirits to get crushed.

The plot can turn into a jumbled mess a little bit though. When time travel gets involved and The Doctor is around to explain it away things are bound to get messed up.

The Kvush

The Junction system. I want to be angry at it because it’s a byzantine and nearly incomprehensible mess but I can’t stay mad at it. It provides the ability when connected with other systems, like the card game, allows characters to become very powerful very quickly. A system that provides nearly full character customization with the navigation of a few menus and the application of the player’s mind. And I know that everyone hates on the draw system for being a dumb, tedious, waste of time and it is but it’s not meant to be the primary source of magical charges (The only spell I draw is a few scans at the beginning of the game). It’s clear that items and Guardian Force refinement abilities are meant to be the main source of magic and that draw is meant to snag a few precious spells or Guardian Forces from bosses. So I loved figuring it out and loved having mastered it but there was a long time where the Junction system just didn’t make sense and I think the game has a bad way of conveying how it works.

Wait… wait! I see it now. You “equip” the magic to the stats. Why didn’t the game just phrase it that way?

Time Compression, I don’t know if it’s brilliant or supremely fucked up. I’m going to say it’s both, call it a night, and then ask Cthulhu to turn the lights out for me before he comes to bed.

The gunblade. Just… its existence can make fans cream their jeans and haters froth at the mouth. I think it’s an interesting idea for a cutting weapon to pierce thick hide and then inject an explosive shell into the wound but… it’s super impractical. And that was just my head canon on it. I think the game tries to say that it just fires bullets out of it’s invisible sword barrel. I dunno, it looks cool but it sounds so dumb.

The Gush

I love the card game. Screw all the haters, this game can get really strategically satisfying. Between the spread or abolishment of rules, the manipulation of those rules, and how their simple natures can change the game in big ways next next rules region is always full of surprises. There are also web sites that support the Triple Triad game if anyone has a hankering to play online with an expanded card set.

The music in this game is great but it was made by Uematsu and Uematsu doesn’t make bad stuff. At least he doesn’t make bad stuff at this time anyway.

The summons in this game are awesome. Because they’re usable multiple times in fights and have to be equipped to characters it’s a viable strategy to rely on GF attacks to dominate the opposition.

Besides, if you could summon this guy in real life to throw needles at your enemies you would.

The environments and backgrounds of this game look really good. Sometimes I marvel at things for a little while. And sometimes this marvelling leads to the discovery of sweet hidden passages.

These two places are part of the same location! And that location tells an impressive tale.

I also can’t think of a Final Fantasy game before it that was able to produce as much spectacle as the Garden fight from Disc 2. This is just madness, and there are even more scenes of the bloodshed.

I really like the character of Seifer Almasy. He’s got all of Squall’s emotional trauma but none of his reservedness. He’s loud, belligerent, dangerous, and inspiring but in the end that’s what captures him in a cult of personality lead and staffed by himself. He’s young, idealistic, and confused about his life but is unwilling to share that with anyone. And to top this all off he’s extremely capable. It’s like if Tyler Durden had all of the skills but none of the direction. When I was younger I didn’t understand his motivations at all but being all growed up it’s plain for me to see his rampant confusion and unwillingness to bring it to light.

Golden dialogue right there.

The Kvetch

Quistis is a really interesting character, or she could be. She’s the oldest of the bunch and the only female in the party who isn’t romantically involved (Well, except her obvious desire to fuck Squall around the beginning of the game which gets destroyed in the cold emotional black hole Squall has instead of a libido). But we know almost nothing about her. We don’t know where she trained, what her aspirations are, or what she’s all about.

This game is chock full of pointless side quests. There are so many little side activities that are not worth the player’s time. Some of them give Guardian Forces and that’s super cool and rewarding but Mr. Monkey’s quest line offers simple healing items that can be purchased from up scale shops. And don’t get me started on the obfuscated BS they expect of the player when it comes to the PUPU alien quest line.

The monsters scale with the player. Oblivion should’ve learned their lesson from this game. The average level of the party is used to determine the level of monsters and their statistics react accordingly with stronger monsters getting stronger faster and weaker monsters not seeing that big of a boost. This leads to a problem where players who are confused by the Junction System try to grind enemies to make up for it and then get left even further into the dust by enemies that they’re even more ill matched for. It leads to some interesting abuse with party balance and Junction manipulation but it feels like mean trick on an unsuspecting player.

The Verdict

Find your walk through or a friend who can help you cheat the system because I think this game is damn good. It’s certainly not as good as its review scores might suggest (10/10 my ass Playstation Magazine. I’ll go as high as 8/10 and not one point higher. [I would go for 7.5/10 but I have to make dumb number jokes]) but it’s also not as bad as it’s harsh critics would say. I recommend it to those that enjoy the byzantine or complex if only for complexity’s sake. There are too many wonderful moments, characters, places, and secrets to pass this one up.

Next Week: Brave Fencer Musashi (PS1)

Max Payne (PC)

Introduction

Max Payne is a NYPD detective– though not a loose cannon cop who doesn’t play by the rules– who’s wife and daughter are brutally slain at the hands of men strung out on a hitherto unknown substance, codenamed Valkyr. With nothing left to lose Max takes a job at the DEA to take revenge against Valkyr and its distributors, which had been conveniently offered to him only hours earlier– citing the existence of his wife and daughter as reason not to join no less. Framed for a murder he didn’t commit and with his cover blown, he must cut a bloody swath through New York in order to crack the case and regain his innocence. (I like how the developers couldn’t choose just one cop cliche so they went with all of them)

He knows how to make an entrance.

History

Max Payne was developed by Remedy Entertainment, only the second game they had developed, and was published and distributed by Take-Two Interactive. Development started in 1996, almost just after Tomb Raider’s release. The game is born of “how could we do it better and cheaper” the developers wanted to make Tomb Raider with a better camera, use the 3-D but not let it eat the budget. These desires created a better and more responsive control scheme and the use of comic panels to relay the narrative instead of full cut-scenes.

Fun Fact: Remedy developers shadowed some undercover New York agents (with their permission of course) in order to see what it was really like and take hundreds of photos to help them map areas.

Additional Fun Facts: People think that this game was influenced by the Matrix but since this game was in development in 1996 and intended to use slow motion as a mechanic that is untrue. Although the popularity of The Matrix probably made acclimating to the idea of slowing down time smooth.

Even more Funnerer Facts: Max Payne is loosely modeled after script writer, Sam Lake.

I wouldn’t call the resemblance uncanny but I will say they both have similar interests in Hawaiian shirts.

Max Payne was released in July 21, 2001 for PC and later on Playstation 2 and Xbox. It’s competition was Baldur’s Gate II: The Throne of Baal (PC), Final Fantasy X (PS2), and Devil May Cry (PS2)– what a golden year for gaming.

Nostalgia

This is one of the first games that had a level I was almost too scared to complete. Each chapter is separated by a dream sequence and these dream sequences are trippy and straight-up terrifying. Most of them are more puzzle than action but they’re all very thematic and make for great interludes to the, otherwise, non-stop action. The scariest part is really the music and sound. Slowed down and pitch altered clips from the game are audible including an infant’s scream that is nearly speaker breaking.

I’m walking on a trail of blood while it’s raining blood. This is… GREAT!

Gameplay

Max Payne is a third person over the shoulder shooter so it’s all about shooting mobsters, junkies, high grade mercenaries, and shadow government goons and the game does a lot to serve this. The biggest mechanic this game has to offer is Bullet Time. With a simple click of the right mouse button Max can slow down time a bit. This allows him to shoot faster and even dodge bullets. This might sound like it gets old but it doesn’t. The only thing that holds this mechanic back is that the only way to recharge bullet time is to kill enemies and if there aren’t any enemies around then you’ll have to do without until you wax some bad guys.

Bullet time can also be used to make Max perform slow motion dives, it’s a great way to start a fight or get out of the way of a shotgun blast.

Max moves quickly and responsively so it doesn’t have Tomb Raider’s tank controls. The over the shoulder vision also allows Max to look around corners– this might seem weird but I always assumed that even if Max couldn’t see them then he could still hear them.

When it comes to the killing Max’s arsenal is a little limited. He’s got two different pistols (one of which can be dual wielded and the other of which cannot), a shotgun, an automatic shotgun (But you won’t see those until the end of the game, an assault rifle, some uzis, a grenade launcher, and a sniper rifle, a bat, and some grenades. All of which fit conveniently in his trench coat. It might seem like there’s guns aplenty but they’re all similar.

Max’s nightmares serve to point these things out.

 

The Gush

The plot in this game is ridiculously good. Pardon me, I mean that it is both ridiculous and good. What starts with a tale of revenge ends with government conspiracies and mad science. It’s rife with betrayals and back stabbing. It’s built like an overblown John Woo movie. Where simple men take matters into their own hands and kill like… 500 guys before the end of the show.

The soundtrack for this game is really good, if scarce. The atmosphere of the brutal winter storm and decrepit buildings make most of the music.

The character’s are wonderfully fleshed out… except for Alex– he dies a little too early. Especially Max, the comic panels really get into his driven head. We hear his doubts, his fears, as well as his grim determination. All of the side characters ooze personality. From Vinnie’s desperate pleas and furious diatribes, to Vlad’s cool demeanor and brash plans. Every once and awhile some of the common thugs will even spout some humorous dialogue.

Those dream sequences. Now that I’m not scared of them any more they still send a chill down my spine. They’re an interesting look into the psyche of a man on the edge.

Nope, this didn’t get more okay between this one and the last.

The finale is a wonderful test of rudimentary puzzling and gunplay. It’s nice to see a final obstacle that is overcome with the player’s head as well as his weapons.

I love the Ingram weapons. They’re bullet hoses and reload quick. I used to call them the “boss killer” because those things spit out enough lead to keep a boss suspended in his getting hit animation until he’s dead.

 

The Kvetch

This game has a stealth mission. Max gets pummeled and has all of his weapons taken away so he’s got to sneak around until he can find some weapons. I’m all for taking away my arsenal but “sneaking” around when there’s no clear way to do so is confusing. I would get spotted by guys that were back to me because they were turning a corner.

There are a few “plot” holes. Certain characters survive events because the plot says so and that’s sort of weak.

The Verdict

This game is damn good and definitely deserves a purchase on the platform of your choice. It’s 3D shooting at it’s finest and it’s aged remarkably well. I’m not even nostalgia blind for this one, I just see it in my game drawer and think, “alright, let’s give it a go,” and I’m never disappointed.

Next Week: Final Fantasy 8

Mount and Blade (PC)

 

Introduction

The night is wet and cold. You’ve surrounded the city of Veluca with your group  of loyal and trusty warriors. You’re wearing the best armor and weapons money can buy and are the first climbing the ladder to mount the walls. You reach its precipe and get nailed with like, 6 crossbow bolts. What were you thinking? Never be the first over the wall– who do you think you are, Alexander the Great? I bet you thought it was so cool to have a giant axe and charge forward. Seriously, get a shield, it’s useful.

Pictured here are shields being useful. Do you believe me now?

 

History

Mount and Blade was developed by TaleWorlds, located in Turkey, and was published by Paradox Interactive, located in Sweden. You might know Paradox Interactive for Magicka, the Crusader Kings series, and Runemaster– these guys really like their medieval/fantasy roleplaying games. The game takes inspiration from games like Sid Meier’s Pirates! and Daggerfall. It’s meant to feel like the player is a vital character in a historical fiction novel.

Fun Fact:  The review scores for Mount and Blade varied greatly. Ranging from Eurogamer’s 5/10 to Gamepros 5 stars.

Mount and Blade was released on September 16th 2008. It’s competition was, Sid Meier’s Civilization IV (PC), Stalker: Clear Sky (PC), and The Witcher: Enhanced Edition (PC).

Oh man, check out those… 2008 graphics?

Compare that still shot with Stalker Clear, mentioned above and released in 2 weeks before.

 

Nostalgia

Game Mods. I remember seeing the guys at my college computer club playing this game and they all had all sorts of crazy mods for it. I’ve seen Star Wars mods where being wookie is just about wearing special wookie armor and all the swords were replaced with lightsabers. This game is easily modable and I think that’s a huge point for it. I know it’s no excuse for its lacking appearance and its semi-limited gameplay options but it is really cool. I’ll admit that I haven’t installed any mods for it but that’s not for lack of them. The internet is brimming with mods for this title and I urge players to seek out and try them.

Freaking skeletons. You can mod a skeleton army! Sign me up.

 

Gameplay

Mount and Blade is difficult to describe when it comes to its gameplay. It’s certainly a bit of a sandbox, there are any number of things the player can do. They can become a trader, become a bandit, a mercenary, a gallant  knight, a despicable scoundrel, the protector of a village, the lord of a castle, or try to take the world for themselves–key word ‘try’. The character’s skills are the main influence on what the player can do. If they want to make a character who’s good at trading it will behoove them to put extra points in trading or looting if they wanted to be a bandit for example.

Look at all these skills! They’re all also cleverly related to different attributes.

But if you want to do what the game “intends” you to do you’ll end up becoming the vassal to a king and conquering castles and cities… until he doesn’t shower you with the attention that a brave and valiant warlord deserves and has consistently given fiefs and castles to Lord Bulba and then you defect and he flips his shit and then you’ve got to flee to the nearby kingdom and hope they’ll accept you after to took over 2 of their cities… I think this one got away from me. But the point is that you can do a lot of things and you never know what’ll happen.

Maybe if you could extract your lips from King Ragnars butt then you might be able to actually accomplish something instead of having me do all your dirty work you stag bannered, stubble faced prick… I might hold a grudge.

Your path to success is based on the troops that you recruit. Each of the different factions has a recruit that can be upgraded into different units. And each factions troops lends themselves to different roles, certain factions have troops that a better suited to different tasks on the battlefield. In taverns across Calradia there are mercenaries and “heroes” to hire. Mercenaries are generic units that perform their tasks admirably but don’t excel in any real way. Heroes are characters that always get knocked out in battle and never truly die. They also can gain skills like the player can which allows very skilled heroes to contribute to each other’s skills, if applicable. These heroes also have opinions of other heroes and of the player’s actions. Some heroes revel in being bandits, other will leave the party if they raid too many villages.

 

The Gush

Do you see that face? That’s Jeremus and he’s the best hero money can buy, by which I mean he’ll join the party just to save peoples lives. How… Why? Because he’s a surgeon. I know medicine from this era isn’t great but Jeremus has got some good ideas and he just wants to keep people alive. He’s not too keen on bandits and imposing on villagers but he’s the only surgeon that needs no training.

All of the factions have grounding in different cultures of the time. Each one feels uniquely like themselves. It’s easy to identify who you’re fighting just by looking at their troops.

There are lots of different ways to alter the difficulty. From increasing the damage you deal to decreasing the damage you take to decreasing the general AI levels.

Being part of a cavalry charge is awesome and it’s something that not a lot of games offers.

Hold formation! Strike like a rogue wave!

I love the Nords, they assault castles and don’t afraid of anything.

I also love the Khergits, they are based on the mongols and that’s all you need to know.

The map is well decorated and looks like a real geopraphic location

It’s a pretty sweet map.

The interactions and dialogue of the heroes is really great. Hearing a superstitious and uneducated assassin accuse an engineer of black magic because he’s doing math in the sand is just hilarious.

 

The Kvetch

The music in this game isn’t very good. That’s all there is to it. It tries to have sweeping orchestral pieces but it’s plain to see it was made in some sort of program and not put together too well.

There’s only 1 different type of swing for every angle of attack. You’re always right handed and you can swing right, left, overhead, and stab and it’s always the same.

Cattle escorts. The cattle escort missions are the worst type of quests to get. They’re damn hard to control and it’s just tedious and not fun.

All the prisoners are only worth 50 denars because a Swadian Knight is just as valuable as a Swadian recruit.

The food system is really simple and seems merely ornamental.

 

The Verdict

This game is pretty good but after playing the sequel it feels incomplete. Mount and Blade: Warband has so much more polish and it really improves the games feel end experience. So I can’t recommend this, but only because Warband is better. Nostalgia status: Unblinded.

Next Week: Max Payne

Netstorm: Islands at War (PC)

I guess this is a game about… lightning. Great box, team.

In a world above the clouds people live on the scarce islands of land that float among the winds. This world is ruled by a cruel emperor and you are part of the revolution to depose him. You’ve been captured and imprisoned but you’ve freed your priest of the Furies and are ready to fight for freedom here and across the skies. Use your tactical acumen to place buildings, gather resources, and crush your enemies!

Did I say tactical acumen? I meant floating islands and buildings.

History

Netstorm was developed by Titanic Entertainment which, as far as I can tell, is comprised of 8 people and was published by Activision. A demo was released a month before it released proper and a simple exploit allowed users to unlock the full game with it. The game itself had bugs within, particularly in the multiplayer game mode. It was possible for players to force opponents to crash the game, securing easy victory. Both of these exploits significantly hurt sales. Activision kept the servers up until 2002 and now fans maintain enough servers to play online for diehard players.

The game is considered abandonware so downloading it is just a click away (http://www.abandonia.com/en/games/216/NetStorm+-+Islands+at+War.html).

Netstorm was released on October 31st, 1997. It’s competition was Curse of Monkey Island (PC), Colony Wars (PS1), and Age of Empires (PC)

There are also some 3D remake projects rolling around the web.

Nostalgia

Have you ever had to stop playing a game, or at least stop progressing, because there was one level you couldn’t beat? TV tropes refers to something like this as “That one level,” and Netstorm has one helluva “That one level.” It’s called The Noose and it’s a level with a big gimmick. The player’s starting island is surrounded by a special unbreakable bridge. The bridge has a few breakable segments but the rest can’t. The player can’t build bridges to the enemy island or nearby resource clusters so… how do get out? I didn’t figure it out for years. Apparently when a building is destroyed next to a bridge it breaks the bridge segments around it. So what you have to do is build a building next to the breakable parts of the noose and destroy those buildings yourself. But this is something that’s never explained in the game, it’s something that’s not even incidentally noticeable. I had to cheat to level select to skip it when I was a kid. It’s super annoying and it’s the first level of the second chapter.

Look at this nonsense! How is someone supposed to figure this out?

Gameplay

The game is about building buildings, building bridges, and building units to gather resources. Some buildings attack other buildings, other buildings absorb damage, and other buildings have other strange uses (Did building stop being a word?).  You can build bridges off of your island in order to reach resource nodes (Storm Geysers) and buildings.

The buildings and units you can build are limited by your knowledge. Then you need to build a workshop that correlates to the element of knowledge your building for and select it as one of the buildings that workshop is producing. If you don’t have the knowledge to build something then you’ll have to beat the level without it.

It’s less of a tech tree and more of a tech pile.

The four elements are Sun, Rain, Wind, and Thunder. Each element has a unique quality and theme. Sun buildings are simple but competent, Wind are quick and cheap but lack durability, Rain buildings are a little weird but useful, and Thunder buildings are incredibly powerful but are expensive and difficult to use.

Some advanced mechanics: Every building you destroy gives you a portion of its cost to you in storm power and the explosion can damage nearby buildings (Note: Defensive buildings don’t generate damaging explosions.) It’s cheaper to build more workshops of lower levels but that’ll hog your island space.

Space management can get a little crazy.

You claim victory over your opponent by immobilizing their priest, capturing him, bringing him to an altar, and sacrificing him to the Furies. It’s sort of interesting how you can be victorious without destroying your opponent’s stuff. It’s all about this one little vulnerable guy.

The sacrificial ritual has its own music and dialogue that all players can hear so everyone knows it’s going on.

The Gush

The 3D art for the encyclopedia’s models look really good. And each entry has a bit of flavor text that fleshes out the world. The humor in that flavor is dark but still hilarious.

The Nimbians are a people with a fully developed culture. Their art, government, and religion all serve the war they fight and their fighting serves their art, government, and religion.

I’m not sure if the soundtrack is dynamic but it certainly seems it. The beginning of each match has tranquil music that picks up as the buildings start going up, the lightning start arcing, and the whirligigs start their bombing runs.

The first two chapters of this game have a really great difficulty curve. They’re not too hard but not too easy either.

The opening cutscene for this game is surprisingly good.

GRAPHICS!

Every element has the same types of units but it’s incredible to see how little tweaks to their design can make them feel so different and unique.

This game can get incredibly chaotic, and it’s meant to. An enemy can sneak bridges behind your island and unload a pile of hurt on your workshops or other valuable structures. It’ll keep you on your toes to make sure nothing fishy is going on. The AI isn’t that bad but high level multiplayer can get dizzying.

I mean, what part of this seems difficult to follow?

The Kvetch

It’s sort of impossible to play the multiplayer anymore. Maybe I just couldn’t find a good server but there was never anyone else online. The multiplayer was supposed to be the big draw and it’s disappointing that it’s impossible to get a game going.

The Noose. (I’m still mad)

Some units and buildings just aren’t good… well… one is. The Arc Spire. It says it does 50 damage, more than anything else in the game! But it just creates a damaging wall between it and another Arc Spire, so an enemy has to be dumb enough to move into it or maybe it damages things structures between it too… I dunno. It just seems pointless.

The last chapter is ungodly levels of hard. It’s really unfun.

Dust Devils are generated by Dust Devil Generators. The generators can be destroyed, the Devils themselves cannot. I’ve played this game for years and still don’t know how to counter them effectively.

The Verdict

For the low price of FREE it’s simple to see why this game is worth playing. It’s got solid mechanics, fun flavor, challenging gameplay, and’ll entertain for a few hours at the least. I recommend this game without nostalgic interference. But when you get to The Noose, give it hell for me.

Next Week: Mount and Blade