Fallout 4 (PC, PS4, and XBox One)

Back on over to the east Coast. If you spent enough time in the Capital Wasteland’s Rivet City then you probably heard something about the Commonwealth and something about an escaped Android. A clever bit of foreshadowing as Fallout 4 brings us to the very same Commonwealth. You play as the Sole Survivor of Vault 111, a vault devoted to cryogenic freezing. Your frozen slumber is interrupted by someone kidnapping your infant son and killing your spouse in their pod. When systems fail and you fully come to then it’s time to find your son. But we’re dealing with a nuclear wasteland here, just getting from A to B can be a chore much less finding a kid. Thankfully, as the protagonist of a Bethesda game everyone needs your help and your destined to become the center of attention!

History

Fallout 4 was developed by Bethesda Game Studios and directed by Todd Howard. The big elements were the characters free form creation system. Eschewing the previous series’ physical attribute sliders the player could instead simply click and drag the face to alter its features. The player could also add marks to that face to add flavor. It also touts a fully voiced protagonist very much like those in the Mass Effect series.

Fallout 4 was released on November 10th, 2015. It’s competition was Call of Duty: Black Ops III (PC, PS3, PS4, XBox 360, and Xbox One), Starcraft II: Legacy of the Void (PC), and Mordheim: City of the Damned (PC).

Experience

This game is a tragedy of shifting priorities. When I came out of the Vault I was on a b-line to save my son but almost immediately ran into some settlers who needed rescuing. So, I took care of them and then they needed someone to build their home up. No problem, I built them a little town. Now I can start the search for my son in earnest. Oh? What? A settlement needs my help? Alright, I’ll take care of them and oh? You need me to retake your giant base? Hold on, I’ll take care of that right after I do a special quest for my companion. And so on and so on.

These would all be fine but MY INFANT SON needs my help! By the time I found him 8 in game months had passed. At that point I was an unstoppable killing machine but I felt like a terrible parent. I just wish that the fun parts of the game didn’t have a price tag of that misery attached. Either that or finding the son needs to be the most fun thing the game has to offer before it lets the player screw around.

To the game’s credit it does a good job of getting the player attached to the child.

Gameplay

Fallout 4 is special. Literally, say goodbye to skills Fallout 4 is all about those Special scores. Every special score is rated from 1-10 and they still confer passive bonuses like how Endurance gives the character more health and Intelligence gives the character a bonus to experience point gains. Whenever you level up you can put a point into one of your special attributes or take a point in a perk. For instance if you have 4 points in Luck you can take the perk Mysterious Stranger perk and occasionally the fedora-ed fiend will assist you in VATS — by blowing your opponent away with his 44. Magnum.

And there are a ton of perks.

VATS is back and mostly the same. Now you can spend your Action Points to sprint — just don’t get caught dashing into a firefight. Every time you hit a target in VATS you store critical juice in your crit meter. When you’ve got a gallon of crit juice in the meter then you can invoke an extra damage dealing, automatically hitting critical hit — nothing like storing up a gallon and then hitting that ‘impossible’ shot from across the map.

The two big things that this game wanted you to know it had on launch was settlement building and weapon customization. With the right work table and perks you can take a weapon and tool it up. Putting in new parts to increase damage or accuracy. These upgrades require resources like oil and screws so keep your eyes open for relevant scrap and junk. You can also use these scrapped resources to build settlements…

Settlements require food, water, beds, and people. Certain areas will have access to fresh water and other areas will have access to different resources so creating trade routes can help your settlements shore up the weaknesses of others. Some towns may come under attack if their security score is not high enough. The more resources the town has then the more protection it needs. You can also put your citizens to work manning scrap salvage stations or shops to bring it more resources you can use — or pawn and pocket the profits.

The Gush

One of my favorite Fallout 3 stories highlights its shoddy gunplay. I was ambushed by a feral ghoul and fired my hunting rifle randomly in panic — my gun wasn’t even pointed at the thing. I could see the bullet come out of it at an impossible angle and crit the ghoul in the head. It was at this point that I learned that the game’s gun physics didn’t operate on logic but were simply determined as hits or misses based on accuracy and skills. That’ll never happen in Fallout 4. Bullets, more or less, shoot straight and where you point them. This good shooting feelings also ties back into the weapon customization. You made that awesome gun, and it feels good to shoot it.

This game is a great example of a ‘colorful cast of characters’. You’ll meet the mayor of a drug riddled town who is a ghoul dressed like a founding father, named Hancock no less. Or you might run into the android detective Nick Valentine, a private dick with a literal heart of steel. And these guys are also companions! Not only can you interact with them but you can take them on the go.

He’s just a simple ghoul who likes his hat. Oh yeah, and Jet, he also loves Jet.

I really liked the settlement system. As someone who loves anything with a territory control mechanic being able to customize that territory really popped my toast. I claimed every single settlement that there was to claim and I took care of them all as best as I could. I even went as far as making decisions in the game based on how my citizens might view my actions.

Fallout 4 deals with the radiation statistic like it never has before. No longer does it simply lower stats or apply ineffectual debuffs radiation simply lowers the character’s maximum health. This makes every source of radiation or enemy that deals radiation damage more important than the last. It’s a simple and brilliant innovative implementation of an old Fallout element.

The Rant

Alright everyone, get your helmets on. Do you guys remember when I talked about the different factions in Fallout: New Vegas? If not, then go read that. The basic point is that all of the New Vegas factions form together into an analogous view of the world. All with creeds and agendas made to inspire. My college campus was filled with proud little patriots who devoted themselves to the New California Republic or those who thought the enigmatic Mr. House had a hold on things — not so much support for the Legion though. But, if none of them interested you then it was totally possible to strike out on your own and go your own way. Fallout 4 has none of this.

The four factions you have to choose from in the Commonwealth are the Minutemen, who will clearly fall to pieces and divide into a series of feuding tax lords  someday. I only suggest this because THIS LITERALLY HAPPENED the last time the organization got too big for its britches. It might last until the protagonist dies but I’m trying to save the wasteland not just put a big band-aid on it.

I am not entrusting the Commonwealth to laser musket toting hicks.

Then we have the Institute, the boogey-men of the Commonwealth. Sending out their synthetic androids in the dead of night to kidnap people and do their bidding. They claim to want to heal the wasteland by purging it but there’s just no good way to put a spin on that. The story that cemented my view of the Institute is in a terminal in one of their labs. It’s a report about a plant seed experiment. They found a prospering farm in the wastes and immediately thought of how they could exploit it. So they took the patriach of the family, kidnapped in the night, and tortured him until they learned everything he knew. Learning this they killed him and put his consciousness into an android replica. They also sent this replica new seeds to see how they would grow in this wasteland soil. The report explained that once the Institute got the data they wanted they were going to burn the farm down so no one could learn what they had and they were going to kill everyone there so no one could figure out what happened. I’m not letting these crazy elitists command my wasteland.

The Brotherhood of Steel is back and they’re way more fascist then they used to be. Elder Lyons died of natural causes and Sarah Lyons died soon after in a routine combat exercise allowing Elder Maxson to rise to power — I’m certain that stink of assassination betrayal is coming from someplace else. Maxson is young, cocksure, and just a total dick. I know that’s what the Brotherhood on the West Coast stands for but this was the East Coast faction, this was Lyons’ Brotherhood. Elder Lyons turned them into a different beast, he was a man devoted to rehabilitating the wasteland and its denizens. Instead of jealously guarding technology he educated the people until they could be trusted with it. It was a bold new step for the organization. But Maxson’s return to form is a regression and makes no sense. Do you mean to tell me that the boy who was mentored by Elder Lyons and fell in love with Sarah heard a tale of his father’s glory and turned back on everything they taught him? OH WAIT! They could be doing a thing! What if the Institute replaced him with a synth and I have to save the Brotherhood from itself?! But that’s not what’s happening at all. Come on Bethesda! I’m coming up with gold here!

This Deathclaw can’t even watch as Bethesda bungles everything.

Alright, last faction, better be a good one. We’ve got The Railroad, a group of slave liberating, android rescuing, fascism fighting freedom fighters. I’ll be frank, I really love these guys. By any measurement they’re stand up people who are really trying to help the wasteland but there’s one giant problem with leaving it in their care. There’s not enough of them. They’re the smallest organization by far and their sphere of influence is quite small. Their ideals are admirable but backing them might mean society’s collapse as their unable to control the darker elements of the wastes.

Oh well… looks like I’ve got to take the lead again. OH WAIT! I can’t. That’s right, there’s no way to go into business for yourself. There’s no way to truly put yourself in charge. If the thesis of the game is that there is never a satisfying organization then that’s just not cool. Even if it were true that there’s no organization that will ever satisfy our needs it wouldn’t be wrong for the game to offer the fantasy to build one. New Vegas was able to create three factions that all had their downsides but people were still willing to look past, ignore, or remain unaware of them. There isn’t a single organization in Fallout 4 that anyone I know was behind without being totally unaware of what they truly stand for.

In short, they dun goofed. They created a world where the finale would never be satisfying because the finale always means putting someone lame on the throne. And I still don’t know why I can’t just put my rump down on the throne of the wastes.

The Kvetch

Once we get past that gigantic glaring flaw highlighted in the rant and my other major emotional flaw highlighted in the Experience there’s still more griping to be had. Fallout 4 has a little too much action and a little too little RPG. Despite having the ability to freely mold my character’s face I found it incredibly difficult to create the character as a character. New Vegas offered me traits and incredibly flavorful perks that could make my character an anarchist, or a weirdness magnet, or someone who didn’t like resorting to violence. Fallout 4 has none of that and then further hobbles itself by creating one of the most unsatisfying dialogue systems in history. Mad ups for making the main character fully voiced but when they have so little to say and so little character it doesn’t matter. And I’m not irked at the voice actors, they do a great job, but their scripts are really lacking. In any given dialogue your character can respond like a goodie two-shoes, a jerk, a sarcastic quipper, or an average person. The game doesn’t even explain what you’re going to say. The sarcastic option is literally labled Sarcasm sometimes!

Even the simplest situations in the earlier games gave your character the opportunity to highlight their unique traits, whether positively or negatively.

Every 3D Fallout game has been buggy but this one is on a whole other level. Settlements routinely forget that they have access to resources when I leave but suddenly remember them when I come to visit. I’ve fallen through the ground more times than I can count and other objects keep phasing through things! And to top it all off one of my settlers got into my only suit of power armor and turned into THIS!

Not only do they look like a goddam Deathclaw but now I’m out a suit of power armor an that shit ain’t cheap!

The Verdict

Fallout 4 is fine. Fine but flawed. If you wanted to run around the wasteland and blow up Super Mutants you’re going to have a blast. But if you wanted to leave an impact on that wasteland that wasn’t tied to fiddly settlement management you’re going to be disappointed. Unfortunately Fallout 4 is an action-RPG that’s too heavy on the Action and not enough on the RPG. Is it worth 30 dollars? I dunno, maybe. But it’s certainly not worth that and whatever the DLC is charging.

Next Week: Fallout 2.

Fallout 3 (PS3, XBox 360, and PC)

Alright, I wanna talk about Fallout 4 but I should probably establish context for my thoughts and feelings first. Which means I could mention the previous installments and what influenced my expectations for the series… or I could do full reviews of Fallout 3 and New Vegas! If you want to kick it old school and see what Fallout was like in 2D check out my Fallout 1 review. (And don’t worry, sometime I will get to the golden gem that is Fallout 2)

Fallout 3 takes place on the East coast of the US this time around. Time to go to Washington DC itself, the heart of the country and the highest on the Geiger Counter — it’s the nation’s capital, you can bet the Chinese nuked the hell out of it. You play as the child of Vault 101’s Doctor (In case you didn’t know, Vaults are shelters designed to endure the nuclear pummeling the surface took). Trapped beneath the Earth your father longed to go to the Wasteland above, something about a Project Purity. But all interaction with the surface is expressly forbidden by order of the Vault’s Overseer. Your father, not a man who likes to be told what to do, escaped despite this. You, desperate for answers, follow and escape as well.

The wastes are not what you expected or were prepared for. Mutants, bandits, dangerous creatures, technologically advanced agents, and strange goings on await you outside the Vault Door. And as always these loose factions are embroiled in a bitter war for survival and dominance.

Rule 1: Don’t mess with the guy with the shoulder mounted, nuclear capable, catapult.

History

At this point in Fallout’s development history things were in rough shape. The combat heavy but story starved Fallout Tactics sold well but was considered non-canon and not as compelling as the originals. Interplay then developed and published Fallout: Brotherhood of Steel, a game very much like Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance — and just as disappointing– which sold just as well its fantasy counterpart.

Black Isle Studio was developing Fallout 3 under the code-name Van Buren but in the face of their parent company, Interplay, filing for bankruptcy were forced to cancel. With the rights to Fallout and no way to keep the franchise going to life Interplay sold the Fallout IP to Bethesda for 1.17 million dollars. Long time members of the Fallout development team were saddened about not being able to continue the story.

Bethesda wasted no time using the Gamebryo engine and employing the same team that created The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion to create Fallout 3. Development started slowly but once all of Oblivion’s DLC and add-ons were completed development started on Fallout 3 in earnest. It would continue the legacy of the original games by sharing its focuses on non-linear gameplay, violence, and dark comedy.

Fallout 3 was released on October 28th, 2008. It’s competition was Fable II (XBox 360), LittleBigPlanet (PS3), and Command and Conquer: Red Alert III (PC).

Experiences

Fallout 3 is exceptional at building a mood and atmosphere. It’s filled with vast empty spaces and where there are people desperate for the necessities of life. It’s totally possible to wander 10 minute stretches without running into anything, dangerous or otherwise. There are picnic areas populated by nothing but skeletons, abandoned caves, and all sorts of locations with a little loot and perhaps the remnants of a sad tale.

Yet where there are people, even in the stable places, they’re generally in trouble or need. Between Underworld’s dwindling supply of scrap metal and Ashur’s daughter’s fascination with teddy bears, everyone needs something. And they generally don’t have the manpower to get it — and most self respecting mercs won’t got hunting for stuffed toys.

I don’t have a problem! YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!

But the point is that you can feel it. In the mutants, raiders, and townsfolk they’re all one bad season away from getting wiped out. The mood strikes the player and entices greed or charity. It forces the question ‘Do I give them what I have or keep it because I deserve it more?’

Gameplay

Fallout 3 is a first person RPG shooter. You walk around chat with the locals and if anyone gives you flack, gets in your way, or refuses to listen to reason — whatever excuse you prefer — you can perforate them or bludgeon them to death with your implement of choice. Alternatively, if you don’t trust your ability to click things — or just want some slick camera angles put on your killing — you can use the Vault Assisted Targeting System or VATS for short. VATS stops time and presents the ability to target specific enemy limbs.

‘Don’t shoot for the legs’ they said. ‘It’s not as spectacular’ they said.

The SPECIAL system returns strong and presents numerical representations of a characters Strength, Perception, Endurance, Charisma, Intelligence, Agility, and Luck. Which then determine a characters derived skills — which now has a much smaller list than the previous 2D games… goodbye gambling. Every level the character gains bestows skill points and perks! Perks give the character more specialized advantages such as earning more skill points per level or doing more damage to mutated creatures. Sadly, traits no longer exist and were scrapped for this title.

You’ll wander the wastes and find lots of people who need help. These are great opportunities to influence the wasteland for fun or profit, good or ill. Find a town beset by mutants? You can help ’em out for free and get some warm fuzzies, get a fair wage out of it, or gauge them for cash — you deserve it more anyway right? And besides, who else is gonna risk their neck?

Become that jerk merchant from the end of every RPG! ‘I can’t kill these ghouls for anything less than 1000 caps.’

These choices and actions determine how other people treat you by altering your karma. Karma comes in the good and bad varieties and has a subtle effect on how people treat you. It can even determine which companions will join you on your quest — ‘cept Dogmeat, he don’t give a damn who you kill or why you’re doing it.

Who’s a good boy?

 

The Gush

This game has so many goddam locations and almost all of them have something interesting going on. From the Rebublic of Dave’s current election woes to the mysteries of the Dunwich Building if you pick a direction and start walking you’ll eventually find something cool.

Speaking of places, I really like the settlements of the DC Wasteland. From Megaton to Rivet City I find it really interesting how the people of the wasteland try to eke out a living. They’re also all really well designed physically and efficiently.

Behold! Megaton! Pay no attention to the undetonated bomb in the village pond.

Two words, Three Dog. The player’s armbound computer has a radio and one of the stations on the air is Galaxy News Radio. GNR’s DJ brought the world of Fallout 3 to life for me, commenting on my accomplishments and failings. Three Dog also functions as a miniature tutorial, telling the player simple things about the game. And an opportunity to have some tone setting tunes from the 50s. He also gives the player hints about where to find quests. If Three Dog mentions a mysterious grove of trees out there, you can go find it!

The DLC in this game is really solid. The Pitt and Point Lookout present new environments for the player to explore and Broken Steel continues the game beyond its original finale. Mothership Zeta is… well disappointing but I’ll get to that. Overall it’s definitely worth the purchase — but maybe not at five dollars a pop.

The Kvetch

Why did the Mothership Zeta DLC get created? We could have gotten anything else besides aliens. Aliens were in Fallout 2 and those aliens seemed like they had some sort of mysterious agenda. It was really better left unspoken. But now we’ve got that aliens have no goddam agenda. I see what they’re doing but cannot make sense of it. Whatever, kill them and get some sweet laser guns.

I really don’t like how the finale punishes the player for being intelligent. Spoiler free, there’s a thing that’ll kill the player if they do it. Alternatively, the player can ask a companion who’s not susceptible to the danger danger to take care of it instead. The final cutscene then mocks the player for being unwilling to die an unnecessary death at the ripe age of 21. I guess it doesn’t pay to think creatively for this choice in the game.

The Verdict

Uhhhhh, yeah, this game is awesome. My greatest wish for this game is that I could wipe my memory of it and explore it all again. Now that I know what I’m doing, where I’m going, and what to expect there’s nothing left for me. That being said, this was only accomplished after hours of exploration, searching every nook. The game of the year edition is frequently on sale, full price it’s still only $20, and I highly recommend getting it with the DLC. Playing it again, it’s hard to believe that this game is 8 years old because it still looks fine, plays smooth, and is incredibly fun.

Next Week: Fallout: New Vegas

Dishonored (PC, PS3, PS4, Xbox 360, Xbox One)

Welcome to the city of Dunwall! Where fascism lurks around every corner, the plague is in season, and conspiracy is omnipresent. You play as local badass and Protector the the Empress Corvo Attano. But none of that really matters as in the first 20 minutes of play you get punked by an assassin who kills the Empress right in front of you. To top it all off the Empress’ daughter, Emily, is kidnapped. In short, you’ve been Dishonored if you will. You must take revenge against the people who performed these vile deeds. By blade, shade, or spell you will eliminate those responsible — and maybe put Emily back on the throne… or whatever, I dunno.

History

Dishonored was developed by Arkane Studios lead by Raphael Colantonio and Harvey Smith and published by Bethesda. It seems like development began with the setting and world as a whole, followed by Corvo’s abilities, and then the levels were designed with Corvo’s capabilities in mind. Colantonio was quoted as saying, “we wanted to give [the player] very strong powers, to make [the player] really a badass, but at the same time we didn’t want the game to be too easy,”.

Fun Fact: The implementation of a morality system’s cause and effect was included after John Houston witnessed a tester infiltrate a masquerade ball. Instead of acquiring clues by listening to the other guests, the tester elected to kill them all and sort it all out later. Needless to say, Houston found this disconcerting and added consequences to actions like this.

Dishonored was released on October 9th, 2012. It’s competition was XCOM: Enemy Unknown (PC, PS3, XBox 360), Hotline Miami (PC), and Assassin’s Creed 3 (PS3, XBox 360).

Experiences

Dishonored is the first game that I completed out of spite. My friends and review publications gave it stellar recomendations so I figured I’d give it a shot. I’ll get to my disappointment later but the point is that I couldn’t review the game in good conscience until I finished it, so I did. Every mission I wanted to put it down but I thought, “It’d be a shitty review if I put the game down… maybe it’ll get better.” It never did. It just got harder and more frustrating. The quick-save key will be your best friend… until you save yourself into a shitty situation.

Gameplay

Dishonored is a first person action game with a heavy emphasis on stealth. You’ll have to sneak your way through the diseased and rotten city to reach the target of the day — or night. Whatever blocks you path you can sneak by, disable, kill, ignore, or outrun in any combination or measure. These guards aren’t dumb though, they’ll recognize when things are amiss. From seeing you to spotting bodies, the more alert they become the more aggressive and thorough their searching techniques become.

I mean, they’re not always completely brilliant.

Corvo has a repertoire of magical activated and passive abilities. From the power to teleport, see through objects, and double jump Corvo’s magical powers will improve his chances of survival and eventually lead him to dominate his enemies — both figuratively and literally. Corvo can improve these abilities by finding Whale Bone Runes and Charms so keep an eye out for them.

One of the main aspects of the city is the Chaos level. Actions that Corvo take can increase or decrease the Chaos level. The greater the chaos grows the more plague rat swarms that will appear to feast on the living and the dead as well as an increase of Weepers — basically plague zombies. If you want to really get your murder on then it might have dire consequences down the line for Corvo and his allies.

The Gush

The setting is gloriously atmospheric. The Whale-Punk aesthetic is something I might actually run a roleplaying game in sometime. It creates a world in which knowledge is great in certain areas and yet totally limited in others. I adore something about the absurdity inherent in a world with single shot pistols and giant lightning walls both being relatively recent discoveries.

Samuel, just Samuel. The only character I could bear to listen to for more than a few minutes. The only character I can think of who sounded like he gave a shit on a consistent basis. Samuel the sailor is Corvo’s main transportation and primary source of information. Samuel gives Corvo a short briefing of every area before they arrive and he’s got a sweet scruffy voice. I was always glad to hear him and have him by my side.

Look at that architecture! And while you’re at it check out Samuel’s grizzled mug.

Actually assassinating people is incredibly fun. There are different ways to approach every target and elements of the stage you can use against them. Unfortunately, if you elect to dispatch of them non-lethally, most of these avenues are locked off to you. So… I guess it pays to be good.

In addition to different ways to dispatch your targets there are a myriad of ways to actually reach them. From sewer tunnels to kicking down the front door, there’s no wrong way to reach your victim. Unless you’re trying to be non-lethal. Then the right way is the incredibly sneaky way where no one sees you and you knock out every guard along the way.

The Rant

Before I get to the Kvetch I’ve got to get mad. I’m mad because Dishonored is a game that lies to me three times in the first 30 minutes. Lying to the player is a dicey proposition that should always be approached with caution but is not necessarily a bad thing. I feel though that Dishonored does it wrong.

The first lie I was told was that Corvo Attano is a badass. He might be a badass when I’m in control but as soon as the cutscene starts I’m surprised he doesn’t choke on his own tongue. In the first scene of the game he manages to fail to protect The Empress of Dunwall, which I must remind you is his JOB as Royal Protector. Not only does he fail but he doesn’t even lay a finger on the person responsible. I know that it sets up the Assassin as a bad motherfucker but I’m certain Corvo’s Badassery and the Assassin’s bad motherfucker status could both have been maintained. What if instead of getting force choked and punked Corvo and that Assassin fight for a bit — maybe plug in a combat tutorial or something, I dunno — then when Corvo’s got this guy on the ropes he pulls out the force choke. Now I know I’m good at this whole Royal Protector thing, but I failed because my opponent straight up cheated. It also makes getting magical powers feel more important.

Lie the second is that leaving corpses makes the plague get worse. Rushing through the tunnels of the prison, a tutorial mentions that leaving corpses does just that and this rampant killing will lead to a darker conclusion. Aight, sounds good, leave no trace and all’s well. One of Corvo’s abilities he can put rune points into is called Shadow Kill and makes it so at the first level enemies who die via stealthy means are turned to ash. And at the second level enemies turn to ash no matter how they’re killed. Sounds great, no bodies, no problems. I had to spend eight points on it but it’s worth it to be able to play the game without as guilty a conscience. Wrong. It’s not leaving the bodies, it’s simply the act of killing the guards. Anyone you kill, whether they turn to ash or not, contribute to the plague’s worsening effects. So that’s a save down the tubes unless I feel like being a prick and continuing the murder cycle.

I was too busy letting the rats eat innocents to consider the ramifications of my actions!

The third is much more intangible and definitely doesn’t constitute deception on the part of the game but I’m getting ahead of myself. When I saw the trailers and heard what people had to say about the game I imagined Corvo as a tragic hero. A prisoner taken from his lofty position to become experimental plaything for magic research and what have you. That the iconic mask was a byproduct of the scarring caused by the experiments, the knife being unkind to our dear Corvo. That’s not the case. Corvo is offered magic for… reasons… well no reason at all really. The Outsider bestows magical powers upon him cause they’re cool, yo. And Corvo’s tinkerer buddy Piero makes Corvo the mask for no real reason. Piero says It’s a sort of sentimental thing that will strike fear into Corvo’s enemies. Alright, I’m down, sounds good, maybe there will be like a Batman thing where I can spook guards to sow dissent in their ranks. I can dig it. I make landing in the first mission, choke out a guard, equip my still beating heart in my left hand, blade in my right. I’ve got my spooky mask on and I teleport up to a passerby in the street and she says…

…

That is the wrong fucking answer. That is a completely illogical and immersion shattering travesty of atmosphere and writing. The mask serves no purpose other than to be something cool to put on the front of the game box or to make the cosplay recognizable. Without the mask Corvo would be a cloaked guy with long black hair or something — I can’t even remember what he looks like. I know I can’t hold Arkane Studios to the standards of a game I created in my head but these narrative elements could have some heft instead of none at all.

I mean, they make good binoculars… what a croc.

The Kvetch

Way at the end of the game Corvo encounters assassins that share in his magical powers. The thing being, they don’t take into account Corvo’s abilities in a scene where they imprison him. Well, I mean, it’s not as if you could tell the guy was magical just by looking at him except OH WAIT! The Outsider’s mark is blatantly on Corvo’s hand as a sign of his magical power. So… these assassins put him in a hole and expect everything to be fine — which leads me to believe they are incredibly stupid… or the designers plum forgot all this shit.

What is the Outsider’s deal? He gives Corvo magical powers to make things, “more interesting,” but has excessive boredom and simultaneously near infinite power. He gives Corvo ‘Great Things are Expected of You’ speech #385 and sends him back into the world with a nifty teleport. Seriously, this is a cool character, give him something to do.

Yeah… but why?

I don’t know what to think about the moral decisions the game has you make. Oh wait, yes I do, I find them very unsatisfying.  Assassination targets offer a lethal or nonlethal approach — kill them or soothe your conscience by knowing that they’re merely out of the way. The issue is that the non-lethal solutions often present a fate worse than death and penalize the player with a killer’s reputation otherwise. For instance, one of the nonlethal solutions was to send the targets shaved, mutilated, and mute into mines they owned to die slowly in the horrible conditions. Ironic but certainly not merciful — can’t I just shove them into a cell until we put Emily back on the throne? And I know we have a cell because it’s where we shove the man who’s killed hundreds in his ethically bankrupt experiments to cure the plague. There’s even a situation where instead of murdering a woman there’s an option to send her off in a boat with an admirer who will, “Make her love him.” And that’s considered the moral high ground, or something. I’m willing to choose the lesser of two evils but why not offer me a third legitimately good option? How about not framing non-lethal tactics as being inherently superior to simple and merciful murder? How about that?

The Verdict

If the aesthetic remotely interested you and you’re a fan of stealth games then you could do worse that picking up this game for $20 on Steam. I bashed it pretty hard but if I were better at stealth heavy games then I might have had more fun with it. That being said, the moral decisions are kind of crap and there are parts of the narrative that seem incredibly forced. If you’re able to ignore all that and just want to teleport around ghosting guards then I know you’ll have a good time but I’ll always see this game as something that’s too flawed for me to truly enjoy.

Next Week: Bioshock

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (PC, PS3, XBox 360)

Five years after the crisis in Morrowind spears have been outlawed and a new and powerful Daedra — which is the game’s word for demons — cult is part of a conspiracy to kill the Emperor of Cyrodiil, an act that hasn’t occurred in a long ass time. You play as a prisoner who is in the path of Emperor Uriel Septim’s flight from The Imperial City. Septim declares your presence as fate and tells his bodyguard to bring you along. Despite their best efforts to talk sense into Septim and keep him safe they fail in both regards. He is killed before your eyes and he bestows the Amulet of Kings on you — conveniently forgiving your crimes in this act, apparently. It is your duty to find the last heir to the throne and give him the powerful artifact — or you could go fight mud crabs instead, no rush.

When the legends say that a Septim must sit on the throne the legends ain’t foolin’. The walls between Cyrodil and Oblivion — Basically this game’s version of hell — and this strange cult are opening gates to usher in their Daedric host. Thwart their plans and take back Cyrodiil, brave prisoner-adventurer-guy or gal.

I love this guy, he’s like a magical Grandpa — voiced by Patrick Stewart no less. 

History

Immediately after the release of The Elder Scrolls: Morrowind in 2002, Bethesda began working on the next installment in the series, Oblivion. The Havok Physics Engine allowed them to create a world in which objects could actually move in a semi-realistic fashion. Improvements in graphics technology and hard work by the developers allowed them to create a world approximately 14 square miles large. Sadly the enormous throngs of imperial citizens had to be curtailed to 20 or 30 to a town due to major slow down issues.

The big draw was the new Radiant AI system, home-brewed by Bethesda itself. It allowed them to alter and create semi-random behaviors in the citizens based on certain traits they had. Hungry characters who tended toward crime would steal food. Thieves will spawn outside of towns and try to sneak around to steal valuables. Some civilians will run away instead of fight — and others will, unreasonable, fight to the death because I stole a loaf of bread.

YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPER!

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion was released on March 20th, 2006. It’s competition was Kingdom Hearts II (PS2), Metal Gear Acid 2 (PSP), and Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (PS2)

Experiences

When I think Oblivion I think glitches.  The game was notoriously glitchy on release. Bethesda would eventually do their best to patch things up but there were still problems. The craziest thing I’ve ever heard of follows as such.

My friend, we’ll call him Sparko, turned in a quest and in a scripted event he is attacked by the quest giver — nothing unnatural yet. Sparko retaliated, town guards arrived and joined in the brawl, killing the quest giver. The guards initiated dialogue and expressed sorrow that the dead man lost his mind. At which point the guards began shouting, ‘someone’s been murdered!’ about the man they just helped kill. Strangest of all, the body spontaneously rose as if nothing happened. He began to stare at where is dead body had formerly lain and joined in the chant of, ‘someone’s been murdered!’ Sparko then began to back away incredibly slowly.

In short, it’s a well coded game.

Gameplay

Oblivion is a Sandbox Fantasy RPG. You’ll be swinging swords, firing your bow, or casting spells to get from A to B across Cyrodiil, to complete quests, or explore exotic locales and lost ruins. Um… that’s all there is to it really. There’s an overlying plot about putting an emperor on the throne but there’s absolutely no urgency to complete it and a million other things to do. There’s really no wrong way to play the game

Except whatever this is. This is the wrong way to play the game.

Wanna kill an old lady, whatever, the guards’ll probably get pissed. Wanna steal stuff, aight. Like the plot and wanna pursue it, go ahead. Oblivion don’t judge and when it does it entails a slap on the wrist and some skill penalties — or death, those guards will not hesitate to kill you.

The Gush

Ragdoll physics might be the greatest innovation in video game history. Shooting a minotaur with a lightning bold and watching him flop through the air like a drunken ballerina is one of the most viscerally pleasing things on the planet.

The quests in this game are generally really fun and interesting. Some are even downright challenging and fascinating. I still remember the truth behind the Grey Prince’s lineage and I can’t think of a Daedric Prince quest that was boring.

Speaking of Daedric princes, the Shivering Isles is one of the greatest pieces of DLC I’ve ever purchased. I cannot think of a world in which I felt more like a guest in my own home than the dominion of Sheogorath, The Daedric Prince of Madness. Most of the time I find insanity to be a cheap character trait but the thing that makes Sheogorath great are his moments of clarity — so inconsistent is his inconsistency that he has powerful moments of immense sanity. The characters, architecture, creatures, and larger than life depiction of the Mad God himself blew me out of the water.

I mean, just look at this dapper bastard.

The Kvetch

The leveling up system in this game is a mess. I think it’s pretty cool that your skills level up as you use them, even if it is slower than dirt for some skills — I’m looking at you athletics. But then raising your skills related to your class makes you level up. I follow so far but in order to level up you have to sleep, why? I understand that it’s indicative of epiphany but… it’s annoying… really annoying — and the trite inspirational quote that accompanies each level up screen is similarly unwelcome. When you level up you select stats to increase by 1-5 points. I thought that the degree of increase was random but it’s actually related to the skills that were raised for that instance of leveling up and there are only a certain number of skill raises per level up. Each skill correlates to a certain statistic so if you want to make a statistically powerful character then you need to make sure you only raise certain skills that correlate to the stats that you want to raise and the game doesn’t tell you which skills correlate to which stats. How do you figure it out? You gotta look it up, I guess. TLDR: I JUST WANNA GET STRONKER! HOW DO?

I JUST WANT TO BE AN ORC! LET ME HIT THINGS!

I only complain so much about the levelling up thing because the higher your level the stronger the monsters get. So if you don’t put points in the right places, get good spells, and/or get good equipment then you’re gonna end up in the dust. My level 21 Orc Barbarian, Gronald, was stun-locked and viciously murdered by an unarmed goblin. That’s just wrong. This guy killed a giant demon spider and he got totally owned by goblin.

The persuasion minigame isn’t exactly intuitive and it’s certainly not fun. It’s not even particularly useful but some quests are impossible to complete without raising a subjects personal opinion of you.

Just looking at this, try to figure it out.

I gotta complain more about the level scaling because it doesn’t just effect the gameplay, it can even shatter the immersion. Enemy equipment is also scaled up so sometimes the struggling bandits are wearing ebony armor. How did he get that? He just complained about his rumbling stomach. Did he blow all of his money on his suit of armor? Why doesn’t he pawn it for enough gold to eat for a year? I’m so confused.

Wouldn’t it be weird if the Arena, Thieve’s Guild, Mage’s Guild, Fighter’s Guild, and Assassin’s Guild all had the same leader? If you so choose, your character can be this individual. I’m not sure what the design alternative would be but it seems odd that it’s even possible considering that these guilds sometimes have conflicting tenets. Maybe quest chains could just end without the player becoming the all high, supreme, mega, leader and the actual Leader’s closest agent. Or maybe they could only choose to be leader of one faction.

The Verdict

I know I complain about it a lot but a few ticks down on the difficulty meter and the enemy scaling becomes much more manageable. For those few proud souls who refuse to lower the difficulty on principle I say, ‘Godspeed. May you be beaten to death by unarmed goblins for your hubris.’ That being said, the game is worth it alone for the Shivering Isle’s Expansion. The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion is available on Steam for $20 with all the DLC included. For the complaints I’ve cited I’d wait for it to go down to $15. It’s fun but it can be a real pain in the genitals. Especially when you could play next week’s game for the same cost as it’s theoretical sale price.

Next Week: Shovel Knight