Tetris Attack (Super Nintendo and Gameboy)

Yoshi is just hanging out on Yoshi’s Island, as he does, with all of the — presumably reformed villains– when Bowser — with his incredibly ill defined magical powers — enchants them to become Yoshi’s enemies once again. The spell also creates a torrential downpour that will flood the world — you see what I mean by poorly defined. Yoshi must now defeat his friends in a puzzle game to break the spell. You know what? Just… don’t overthink this, don’t think about it at all actually, it’s a tetris-esque puzzle game. Just play it.

History

Tetris Attack is a game being torn in three directions at once. It started off as Panel De Pon, a game about fairies trying to defeat the Devil King, Thanatos, who casts a spell to make the fairies fight among each other. Only Lip is able to resist the spell thanks to her magical stick — hence the Super Smash item Lip’s Stick. Nintendo knew that a puzzle game about fairies wouldn’t sell well in the states so they changed the graphics and made it about Yoshi and the cast of Yoshi’s island, which had been released earlier in the year. They couldn’t call it Panel De Pon and in order to increase the approachability of the game Nintendo asked Tetris and it’s then CEO, Henk Rogers if they could use the name. He agreed, but looking back on it regrets the decision because this game isn’t like Tetris at all, quote from Rogers, “In retrospect, we should never have done that. I don’t think that’s a good idea. It dilutes the brand”.

Tetris Attack was released on November 28, 1996. It’s competition was Diablo (PC), Twisted Metal 2 (PS1), and Donkey Kong Country 3 (SNES).

Even the walls are happier in Panel de Pon!

Experiences

I can say that as a young child renting video games from Taylor Brook Video I was completely drawn in by a game that was Tetris but HAD ATTACKING! I knew I could play Tetris so I figured I’d be able to play this game, I figured wrong. I couldn’t get very far in the main campaign because I couldn’t figure out how to execute combos or how to organize blocks to eliminate more than three at a time. Like many of these games, I came back when I was in my late teens and was able to finish it. But those unlockable characters would always taunt me, I would never beat very hard mode.

Gameplay

Tetris Attack is… well it works like… I mean, it’s sort of like… and you… nevermind, lemme just show you.

There, that’s how the game works.

The game actually presents a large variety of ways to play the game. There’s endless mode, which is most like actual Tetris. The player plays and accumulates points until they lose. In this mode combos freeze the game so you can get a few seconds of breathing room. There’s puzzle mode which presents the player with a game-state and a certain number of moves. The player’s got to use those moves to eliminated all the blocks. Then there’s VS mode! Where you get to play the campaign style game but against another player. With each player getting the opportunity to adjust their own boards difficulty. And then there’s the main campaign in which you face down 12 computer controlled opponents.

Endless mode also gets larger, more flavorful stages.

The Gush

Once you get into this game it can plunge you into a state of pure flow. It’s not about seeing the blocks, it’s just moving them — I love it. Although when things would get rough I would lose it though, me and my friends would call this, “losing the sight.” One of us would just say, “I’ve lost the sight,” and then they’d soon lose.

The game looks really kiddy, and I mean that in a good way. If the game wasn’t so difficult it would be pure joy. It’s all fluffy and and edgeless until Yoshi reaches The Cave of Wickedness. And come on, how much more punch can you pull calling it the Cave of Wickedness.

Cute overload.

The music in this game is also cutesy and I really like it. It’s not as iconic as Tetris’ A-theme but it suits the puzzling aspects of the game well, even growing more excited as the blocks rise higher. I’m personally fond of Blarg’s, Raphael’s, and Bowser’s theme. I will say though that it’s a little lazy that three bosses all use the same music.

The Kvetch

If you want to unlock the bosses as playable characters then you’d best buckle yourself in for a bumpy ride. You’ve got to beat the game on the hardest difficulty. No, not hard mode. I mean the hardest mode. After you beat Hard mode without using a continue Yoshi says that you’re gonna have to hold up and the L button on the difficulty select screen with Hard highlighted to unlock really freakin’ hard mode. Then you’ve got to beat really freakin’ hard mode without using a continue. Then you’ll unlock the bosses as characters. I just want to play as Kamek because he’s a koopa Wizard.

KOOPA WIZARD! Look at that goddam robe!

A game like this needs the tightest of controls and yet sometimes I feel like the cursor goes further than I mean it to. Maybe I’m just REALLY good at hitting the button quickly but making a misplay can be costly and undoing it takes up valuable time.

The Verdict

You can get the game these days on the WiiU virtual console for eight dollars. It’s a decent enough title but it was really a creature of its time. The big reason I spent my days learning how to play it was because it was the only game I had and I was bored as hell. It’s not a game you and your friends can pick up and play because the handicapping in the VS mode leaves things a little lopsided, and there’s only local multiplayer. You can’t just pick it up and mash buttons like you would be able to in a game like Mortal Combat. The games got a really slow burn and no real focus. I don’t think this game can replace the sheer zen of Tetris but I keep getting drawn back to it every once and awhile. I’m nostalgia blind, and I don’t think I can see past that.

Next Week: Mob Rule

Kirby’s Dreamland III (SNES)

Introduction

 It’s a Kirby game and any fan of the series knows that a monster from another time, space, or reality is on its way to Pop-Star to do something awful to it — having read that, all the new comers know now too. Kirby’s more than ready to spring into action though — I mean, he can absorb the powers of whatever he eats so if the bad guys are ready then he is as well. With the help of his pal Gooey and his animal buddies he’ll kick the dark spawned creature back into the cold unforgiving cosmos from which it came.

I assume that this team’s ability to save the world is in direct proportion to how FUCKING CUTE it is.

History

Sorry, no words about the development here. The only interesting tidbits of information that I could find was that this game was the last first-party game Nintendo released for the Super Nintendo. That and this game didn’t get released in Europe and Australia due to some sort of technical issue. It wouldn’t see these parts of the world until 2009 — better late than never I guess.

Kirby’s Dreamland 3 was released on November 27th, 1997. It’s competition was Curse of Monkey Island (PC), Diddy Kong Racing (Nintendo 64), and Croc: Legend of the Gobbos (PS1).

Experiences

 I watched the demo of this game when I was a kid and saw that I could summon a little buddy to help me fight through the game. This buddy’s name was Gooey and I was certain that we’d be the best of friends. Things with Gooey started off great. He was running around faster than me and eating dudes and spitting them out at breakneck speed. Then I started trying to finish certain bonus goals and he kept eating all the enemies that gave me the powers I needed or any abilities in general. Soon, I had to dismiss this faithful companion.

No evil spirit, eh? Is gluttony not a deadly sin? Screw it, he’s too cute to stay mad at. Oh yeah, player 2 can control him.

Gameplay

This game is the standardest fare when it comes to Kirby games. This means that Kirby jumps and floats around eating enemies and gaining the powers of enemies that look like they have powers. Eating a spider doesn’t give you a power, there is no spider power — although certain New York webslingers would disagree — but eating an enemy with a sword will give Kirby the Sword power or a broom gives him the Cleaning power — I’m not joking, Clean is one of the most useful abilities in the game.

In addition to having sweet powers this game features 6 animal buddies: Rick the Hamster, Kine the Fish, Coo the owl, Chuchu the… blob thing — the wiki says she’s an octopus but she’s looks more like an alien parasite– , Pitch the bird, and Nago the cat. These guys alter how Kirby’s copied abilities work, have their own methods for grabbing enemies, and have different movement abilities. For example, Nago has a triple jump but can’t float like Kirby can, Kine can swim against strong underwater currents, and Chuchu can grab onto ceilings but can barely float at all. Sometimes their unique copy abilities are needed to overcome certain obstacles as well so get ready to use your imagination.

Every level showcases a character who needs Kirby’s help. Sometimes it’s a janitor that needs help cleaning rooms –I told you clean was useful– or a deconstructed robot that wants to get put back together.

And sometimes it’s Samus freaking Aran who needs a hand capturing some renegade Metroids.

Completing each task gives Kirby a weird sort of heart-star morphing thing. I’m certain there’s no secret goal, boss fight, or ending that is only unlocked by finding all of these things — Nope, certainly not one of those around these parts.

The Gush

Gooey can be a pain in the ass but he’s got locked away in him the secret to eternal life. Summoning Gooey reduces Kirby’s health by one box. Dismissing Gooey will return the lost box of health… no matter how low Kirby’s health is. If he’s been reduced to a half of a health box then summoning Gooey won’t cost him any health and dismissing him will give him another box back. The game’s already pretty easy but if you’re in a pinch then just remember this neat trick.

The music in this game has a sort of kid friendly tone to it. Sometimes the instrumentation gets a little grating but it’s more than made up for by super catchy melodies. Every once in awhile I’ll hum a few bars of one of the ridiculously fast paced songs.

The art has this sort of gentle wonder to it that I really liked. When it was good it was great.

Lookit this! Just lookit this! The fuzzy shading makes everything look like it was drawn by a five year old — Yoshi’s Island style.

The bosses in this game are super cool. My favorite boss in this game is Ado. She’s an artist from another planet who’s come to Popstar to improve her art skills. I don’t think she needs much more practice though because her drawings are so life-like that they come to life when they’re finished. Her fight is more like three bosses in one. Not content to send her creations to fight you, when you’ve defeated her minions she comes out swinging with her brush.

Dammit! Even the bosses in this game are adorable.

 

The Kvush

As far as a game for kids is concerned, the tone of the music and content can sometimes be radically dissonant. The final boss is some straight up nightmare fuel. The gentle music sometimes goes absolutely berserk. But that’s the nature of an adventure, I suppose. It doesn’t really matter how scary the final boss was to me when I was eight because I beat it. I vanquished that evil and its creepiness only went to show how twisted and dark it was.

The Kvetch

Some of the environments are a little bland. Only a few levels really stood out to me at all. Kirby Superstar had places like Green Greens, Bubbly Clouds, Mt. Dedede, and a giant freaking airship called the Halberd — you can bet I looked that word up.

Oh… it’s a sandy canyon called… Sand Canyon… greeeaaat.

I really like the optional goal mechanic, don’t get me wrong, but some of the objectives are just impossible to figure out. The guy with the umbrella coming out of his head was tricky but the shy dude was impossible. So impossible that I’ma bout to spoil it all up. He’s really shy so he wants a hug. Chuchu’s “inhale” is her reaching out to grab the enemy. The game considers a vicious blobby grab to be equivalent to a hug when the game requires it to be. So bring Chuchu to this guy and show him some love.

Tiny quibble over here but I really dislike how there’s no way to fight a boss after you’ve defeated it. If you want to fight the boss again then you’ve got to start the whole game over.

The Verdict

Nostalgia is having a really hard time saving this one. I feel like such a kid playing this game and I think that’s a good thing. I may have just played it to death though. I can’t recommend this one to an adult when there are so many other portable Kirby games on the market that do this one’s job better. But if there’s a kid in your life with the Wii virtual console then I’d say grabbing this game for them would be a good investment.

Next Week: Kirby Superstar

Legend of the Mystical Ninja

 

Introduction

Dr Yang goes to Kid Ying’s house and tells him about a ghost woman that lives in the temple to the North. This investigation leads them on an adventure to save the Princess of Japan. Run, jump, attack, and discover– and by discover I mean, you’d better figure out what’s going on because it doesn’t tell you and I don’t know.

I’m certain this makes sense in context.

 

History

Oh, hey. I’m calling this section History now because sometimes I don’t have development to talk about but I do want to talk about the facts around the past of the game. Hence, History.

Legend of the Mystical Ninja is known as Ganbare Goemon (Translation “Go For it, Goemon)  in Japan and is based on two of Japan’s most legendary thieves. Kid Ying is actually supposed to be Goemon, as in Ishikawa Goemon. Ishikawa Goemon was basically Robin Hood, taking from the rich and giving to the poor. He didn’t get Maid Marrion in the end though. Goemon’s wife was killed and his son was kidnapped by a Japanese warlord. When he went to kill this warlord and liberate his son he failed and both he and his son were boiled alive.

That’s right, he’s holding his son out of the water to give him a few more moments of relative peace. HEROIC!

Dr. Yang is supposed to be Ebisimaru, named after Nakamura Jirokichi, AKA Nezumi Kozo. He was a thief that was popularized after his death and there are less Robin Hoodesque reports about him. If records are correct then he stole from over 100 Samurai families and accrued nearly 36 million dollars worth of goods. They say there are no old bold thieves and Nakamura was certainly bold, he was executed after being caught for the second time.

It might seem like there’s a bunch of stuff in this game that doesn’t make sense. But you’ve got to believe me here, it all has roots in Japanese culture or mythology. Let this video by Gaijin Goomba serve as a guide to some of the aspects. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WnFMWreP6Y

Legend of the Mystical Ninja was released by Konami on June 20 1992. It’s competition included Wolfenstein 3D (PC), Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis (DOS), Super Mario Kart (SNES), and Ecco the Dolphin (Sega Genesis).

 

Nostalgia

My family was pretty broke when I was a kid. They eventually got out of the hole but while they were in it I got a new game every Christmas or so and that was it. In the meantime I would beg and be good in exchange for a visit to our local video and game rental store. This was the game that I rented again and again. I did it mostly for the box art because I didn’t really understand how the game was played– I’m still a little foggy actually. But I kept renting it with this weird thought that it had been so fun even though I hadn’t had any idea how to play it.

This is the first boss. I rented the game 3 times before I saw her. And she scared the crap out of me because ghosts are scary.

 

Gameplay

Each level has two different sections, the 2.5 dimensional exploration stage and the 2D action stage. The exploration stage is basically about defeating wandering enemies by hitting them with Goemon’s smoking pipe and getting power ups like money, weapon upgrades, and scrolls– I have no idea what the scrolls do but they must be important. Some buildings hold shops where Goemon can buy useful things like sandals that make him move faster and jump higher. Dying in the exploration stage loses the player a life but they come back right where they died, if the player dies in the action stage then they go back to the beginning– brutal but fair.

Pizza in ancient Japan? Well, there are shockingly modern areas in the game so… don’t worry about it.

Ebisimaru is playable but only by the second player. His weapons and maneuvers are the same as Goemon’s but aesthetically different and more silly.

This game is hard for a few reasons but I think that the big one is that whenever Goemon gets hit he loses 1 rank from all of his upgrades and gets knocked back. He’ll lose a weapon rank, two health, and a set of sandals. It’s crippling to get weaker attacks or to move slower especially in the middle of a boss fight. I’d be more willing to farm gold from enemies to stockpile these things but each level has a timer and I don’t know how long it will take to beat the level so I worry and rush. The kicker to all this is that the timer is measured in actually seconds, so each level gives the player about 15 minutes to complete it. The penalty for letting the timer run out? You lose a life… that’s it. It seemed so much scarier when it was unknown

The Gush

For a Super Nintendo game the visuals in this game are really good.

And the opening scene sets the tone and looks nice. Also, I love that line.

This game is filled with fun and interesting Japanese cultural references. Enemies wear masks from Japanese culture, some of which with meanings that are evident from the game itself.

Drum ceremony surrounded by silly masked men. I wonder if that mask represents silliness? Spoilers: They do.

Some levels have really interesting platforming aspects like turning upside down or have secret areas that are cleverly hidden but not impossible to find.

This game is meant to be played with two players. It’s just more lives to go around on the most pragmatic level, it’s like playing a beat em up. Goemon and Ebisimaru can even team up for combo attacks which are super cool.

Strangely enough, I kind of like not knowing what things mean because I get to try to figure things out on my own. When I figured out the Straw Coat protects Goemon from attacks I thought I was a genius, but it made perfect sense! There’s something about self-discovery that’s very satisfying. But there are so many things in this game I haven’t been able to figure out.

 

The Kvetch

The translation in this game nearly cripples it. Maybe the manual explains what everything means and does but I’ve played this game for years and I still don’t know how most of the game works. It’s not rapidly apparent what some items do– what does the Straw Hat do? I have no idea!

Is Goemon fighting a giant squid on a bridge? Yes. Why? I have no idea.

This game is ungodly amounts of long and hard, I’ve made it to level 5 once but apparently there are 9 or 10 levels. This would be okay if it weren’t for the crazy password system. Passwords are 60 characters long and aren’t just letters, there are all sorts of weird symbols. Passwords also include lower case and uppercase along with numbers– is that an I or a 1, I dunno. It might be better to play on an emulator and use the save states are certain points, seems like cheating but the passwords are ridiculous.

The Story is super threadbare, the plot only happens after Goemon defeats a boss. And the plot pushes things as far as the next area and that’s about it.

The Verdict

If it were easier to figure out how things worked or if I knew what I was doing the whole time then this game would be really fun! As it stands, it’s alright. The platforming is solid, enemies are satisfying to defeat, and the game looks good.

It’s something I’ll spend 3o minutes on and then go play something else. If you can find a good guide about this game then go for it– and send me a link so I can figure this game out.

Next Week: Lords of Magic (PC)

Pokemon Trading Card Game (Gameboy Color)

 

 

Introduction

The inhabitants of an unnamed island consider the Pokemon Trading Card Game to be the most important thing ever conceived. You are a denizen of this island and want nothing more than to face the Grand Masters of the game. In order to do this you must defeat the masters of the 8 clubs and your rival, Ronald. The first step is going to Mason’s Laboratory– a lab completely devoted to the study of a children’s card game– and speaking with Dr. Mason to get your first deck of cards.

Are there any towns on this island? Farms? Natural resources? Or does it exist purely as a Valhalla of trading card games?

 

Development

In a bizarre turn for Collectible Card Game tie-in videogames, the videogame for the Pokemon Trading Card Game was released in Japan before the playing cards were actually released. It would get pushed back for its American release because Nintendo of America was trying to focus on the sale of Pokemon Stadium and didn’t want to flood the market with Pokemon games. This caused the game to be overshadowed by the release of the actual card game. I can imagine many parents uttering the words, “Why do you need the Gameboy game when you already own the cards?”

Fun Fact: Two cards, Base set Electrode and Fossil set Ditto, had abilities that were too complicated to be put into the game.

Pokemon Trading Card Game released in the United States on April 10th 2000. It would face The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (Nintendo 64), Perfect Dark (Nintendo 64), and Diablo II (PC) around its release.

There was a sequel that was only released in Japan– to my eternal sadness.

 

Nostalgia

Here’s the simple thing about kids and games, kids love to win therefore kids will cheat. And when it comes to games like this, the adults don’t know the rules, so there’s no way for them to moderate it. I started playing the game when I was a kid but between the cheating and the theft I got fed up with it really fast.The Gameboy release however had all the fun with none of the stealing or cheating. It was also nice to hear the rules from an objective source– kids will also bring up house rules at the exact moment it’ll cause you to lose.

 

“Oh, well, my Staryu is on the sand of a beach so your electrode’s electric attacks won’t have any effect.” Damn kid logic.

 

Gameplay

The player’s goal is to defeat all of the club leaders and then go on to face the Grand masters. Facing the club leaders typically involves facing the other members of the club, having enough club leader medals, having enough cards, or defeating enough opponents overall. Each club has a theme so it behooves the player to build a deck that is strong against the theme of the club– or the player could just build a completely busted good deck but I’ll talk about that more later. When the player defeats any character they are rewarded with 2 packs of cards, giving them more options to face different opponents. Some cards are more rare than others so the player might have to face club members multiple times before they get the desired card.

The game involves playing basic pokemon, attaching energy cards to them to use their attacks, evolving them– which provides different abilities with different costs, utilizing pokemon powers, and using trainer cards that affect the game in various ways. Some trainer cards allow the player to draw more cards for their hand, search their deck for a card and put it in their hand, remove an energy card from a opposing pokemon, heal a pokemon, and all sorts of other weird stuff. A deck can only have 60 cards, no more, no less, and there can only be 4 copies of any card in the deck, except basic energy cards. The goal of any deck is to utilize all of these elements in making a strategy that’s effective.

Sometimes the Challenge Hall hosts a Challenge Event. The player will face 3 randomly chosen opponents from the game and if they defeat them all then they get a special promotional card that can only be acquired from these Challenge Events. Because the opponent is random it’s not possible to build a deck that’s designed to defeat them based on cards weaknesses and resistances, so it’s the ultimate challenge the game has to offer. They occur randomly so check every once and awhile.

The special Surfing Pikachu is just one of the promo cards. They’re not all powerful, but they are pretty cool.

 

The Gush

This game provides the player with the ability to own all of the Pokemon cards without requiring the need to purchase, or store all of that useless cardboard. Players can still duel each other in the game using the Gameboy Link Cable, so they player can get the whole experience of the game– with a built in referee! This game also included cards that hadn’t been or wouldn’t be released in physical form– so it’s got even more cards with none of the cardboard.

By the way, this game has a bunch of different opponents.

The pixel art of the card art looks really good and each attack has its own animation. The dialogue for all the characters in the world that you can’t actually play with is sometimes really funny.

Speaking of funny characters, the game has a hidden opponent. His name is Imakuni? He’s a Japanese musical personality who’s taken up the game. He shows up in club lobbies sometimes and defeating him nets the player 4 packs instead of just 2.

The game uses simple addition and multiplication so it’s easy for a kid to play. But the strategy can get intense. It’s easy to learn but difficult to master.

 

The Kvetch

The story is super weak and almost non existent. The world the game takes place in doesn’t even make sense. Are wars won over the game table? Because characters in the game take it that seriously and it just seems strange.

After the player wins a few medals he’ll get blindsided by his rival, Ronald. Ronald’s deck is always something the player hasn’t seen before and the player doesn’t have an opportunity to change or alter his deck before he faces Ronald. This leads to a lot of frustration because defeating Ronald is the only way to acquire certain promo cards. So if the player has a deck that just happens to be vulnerable to Ronald’s deck then Ronald will win and the player will miss out on permanent advantages. The only way to prevent this is to reload the last save and recover your progress. It’s the worst thing about this game.

I swear certain rare cards are more rare than other rare cards. I’ve got 12 Aerodactyls that I’ll never use and only have 2 Computer Search cards, then again someone that loves Aerodactyl might only have 2 and have a pile of Computer Searches they don’t know what to do with.

The order the player faces the Grand Masters is random and the player can’t alter their deck before they face the first Master. After beating the first Grand Master they’re allowed to alter existing decks or even make new ones more suited to the next opponent, which is announced unlike the first. This makes it so the first Grand Master is difficult to defeat because it might be a Master with a deck that is better suited against the player’s even though the player is using a deck that’s well suited against a different Master. I’d understand if the player had to make one deck that could beat all of them, that would actually be really interesting but the fact that the first one is random is a strange choice.

 

The Kvush

Alright, I didn’t know if this was good or bad. It’s really easy to make a deck that’s so good that it’ll never lose. I’ve developed a strategy that never loses me a match. I have been playing it since I was a kid so I might’ve just played too much. A few cards from the base set were banned, Bill and Professor Oak in particular. These bans didn’t go into effect until long after the game was released. The use of these cards can make decks far more effective than the game expects leading to easy wins.

 

The Verdict

I like this game a lot. It’s wonderfully portable, it’s got satisfying gameplay, and it offered a real value for me when I was a kid– heck it came with a real promo card in the box. That being said, I am quite blinded by the Pokemon nostalgia factor so I’d like to hear what someone would think if they hadn’t played it growing up.

Next Week: Spyro the Dragon for the Sony Playstation