Shogun: Total War (PC)

The year is 1467 and the place is Japan. The Emperor has lost his political power and serves as a largely ceremonial religious figurehead. He rules through a great lord known as the Shogun who issues orders through the regional leaders, his Daimyo. However the Daimyo from the far provinces will not obey his commands because he is not the Emperor and there is conquest to be had — what a lark, “we won’t listen to the Emperor because he’s not really in charge and we won’t listen to you because you’re not the Emperor. I didn’t just steal all this land. Pics or it didn’t happen.” You play one of these Daimyo in his bid for domination of all Japan. Battle, negotiate, and backstab your way to the top of the pile.

History

When they were done making sports games Creative Assembly created Shogun: Total War. At the time Command and Conquer was really popular so they thought it’d be keen to make a similar game. They settled on Sengoku Japan as the setting simply because it was cool and because there were many warring factions that could have potentially been victorious. Utilizing the new 3dfx technology that was becoming available they would make a 3D game. It started off as just a series of battles but Creative Assembly thought the battles were too short to create a substantive game so they created the campaign map which then lead to all the accoutrements that go with it. Shogun: Total War was released on June 13th, 2000. It’s competition was The Misadventures of Tronne Bonne (PS1), Diablo II (PC), and Daikatana (N64).

Experiences

My cousin and I would play this game a lot when we were young, stupid, and fascinated by samurai. We also, naturally, thought ninja were the coolest thing evar and therefore employed far more than was useful. It soon became a lesson in frustration as we struggled with the UI, were disappointed in how much our ninja were dying, and utterly unable to find victory in battle or commerce. We kept playing it though because we knew that samurai and ninja were cool and therefore this game had to be cool. We still had fun but we never really got anywhere.

Gameplay

If you read my article about Medieval II: Total War then you basically know everything you need to know about this game. Shogun has even fewer tactical options, diplomatic options, or other things to worry about. It’s still split between civil administration and battles but there’s not much more to do than that.

The stars represent the skill of commanders and the red bar indicate the size of the army (not the strength).

Your armies don’t actually march across the field they just sort of teleport between friendly provinces with ports or any adjacent provinces. This is how all units travel as represented by pieces on the campaign map.

The battle system is very similar to medieval’s except the models look like they were made in 2000 and everything seems less responsive.

The Gush

The music in this game is pretty solid. It’s sweeping with decent throat singing and fine but simple instrumentation. It’s accentuates but it doesn’t distract. It makes me feel pumped and ready to try to think strategically or think, “If my center could just hold. If it holds then the day is won,” as I start sweating buckets.

The Kensei is a mostly mythic but nevertheless awesome unit. It’s not a squad of men, it’s just one swordsman who has the strength of a squad. It’s incredibly difficult to build up the infrastructure to support one and they’re generally not practical but they’re the best when it comes to holding choke points or other vital areas. Personally, I usually end up giving them silly pet names and keep count of the heads they collect.

Put some Kensei on a bridge like this and they’ll mow down the enemy. But beware of enemy gunfire.

The Kvetch

It’s incredibly frustrating that you can only engage the enemy Daimyo in diplomacy. If you don’t know where he’s gone then your diplomats will have to scatter to the four winds to find the bastard. If his lands are vast that will make it that much more difficult — and vital — that you find him and if he’s on the move then sometimes it’s just not possible. I guess that’s realistic but it’s super frustrating that his giant army is able to outrun your single traveling diplomat.

Let’s Play FIND THE DAIMYO!

Ninja are borderline useless. It’s either they assassinate their target or they die. There’s no middle ground, no failure followed by escape. Because they die so often they’ll never gain the skill they need to assassinate higher skilled targets and then they will never be able to gain it because all the available targets’ skills are too high. What really irks me is that the reward for building the top ninja training facility reward the player with the Legendary Geisha who is a ninja that cannot be killed for failing. They can only be killed via assassination — but I wouldn’t try, I trained 20 ninja to kill one and they all came at her in the same season and they all failed. It’s just frustrating that the investment takes so long to pay off. I just want my ninja to be cool, man.

Sieges don’t work the way you might expect. When your province is attacked your men can defend the field or flee to the castle. But castles can only house so many soldiers. So the AI will choose what soldiers make it to the safety of the walls and the rest die without a fight. How about this? I can fight in the field and my survivors can run to the castle after they get their ass kicked and try to hold out or I can keep 120 guys back their for safekeeping and have the remainder try to win the field.

Also the castle design is awfully… um… sparse. I know that’s just a small castle but… it’s just some walls.

I have no idea how retraining or restocking units works. I’ve got this badass five swordsmen who have been forged in the blood of their enemies and their friends but how can I keep the legacy of their unit going? What’s even worse is when my army is composed of 20 units which all contain fewer than 20 men because they’re all so thrashed.

If a general reaches a certain level of skill he may unlock the ability to employ Katana Samurai but that’s two ‘ifs’ right there. IF he reaches that skill it MIGHT unlock. I don’t know what the exact unlocking mechanism is but there are some games where I’ve gone in-game years without it triggering.

The Verdict

 Shogun: Total War is finally available on Steam for $10 and I’m not sure it’s worth it. Shogun 2 is available for $30 and to me it’s just the better deal. There’s more to do in Shogun 2 and it’s just more fun and interesting. I would definetly say that it’s interesting to look at as a piece of history. It’s only really playable before you play Shogun 2. There’s no going back, Shogun 2 just has so many more quality of life improvements.

Next Week: Tales From the Borderlands

Medieval II: Total War (PC)

The year is 1080 AD, the time of knights, crusades, and high chivalry. Across Europe men are dying in droves for their kings and lords. You play one of these kings and control the nation — , no queens though, no girls allowed (Well, unless you have a pope who’s secretly a woman but I’m getting ahead of myself). As a king you’ve got to perform administrative tasks like commissioning buildings, recruiting troops, and assigning agents like merchants, spies, and diplomats. Oh yeah, and you command those troops and DESTROY EVERYTHING THAT LAYS BEFORE YOU! BURN ALL THAT BURNS, STEAL ALL THAT SHINES! Or… maybe you could do that whole chivalry thing if that’s your bag.

History

There’s not much gossip or incident about this game but I can offer some basic information. Medieval II was designed and created by Creative Assembly, who worked on sports games until their breakout title Shogun: Total War, sparking off the Total War series. It was published by Sega, of all companies, who purchased Creative Assembly in a bid to maintain a presence in the North American and European game markets.

Medieval II: Total War was released on November 13th, 2006. It’s competition was Gears of War XBox 360, Final Fantasy XII (PS2), and Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth II: Rise of the Witch King (PC).

Experiences

Medieval II’s trait system guarantees that you’ll eventually have the most ridiculous king or lord ever in the history of the game. From Faradoc the Fat who died 8 years into his rule after going hopelessly insane. Or a general of mine in the Britannia campaign who’s name escapes me. A man who faced and killed William Wallace in single combat, who’s health was so immense that he became brutally scarred which further increased his health. The trait system is one of the most fun parts of this game. Priests can secretly be women, and if she reaches the rank of cardinal, and if she’s voted for pope, THEN THE POPE CAN BE SECRETLY A WOMAN! Factions can be held aloft by the extreme Chivalry or Dread of their King and when he dies things might fall to pieces. It’s just awesome.

Gameplay

The game is basically split between the administration section of the game that takes place in the overworld map and the real-time combat. When your governing you can commission building projects, adjust taxes, have agents like spies and assassins perform actions, and move your armies and navies around. Every county has a city in it which is either a town or a castle the difference being towns make oodles of money and castles (generally) produce superior military units.

Behold the starting map position and county names.

Your armies march around and generally stomp your enemies. You can support these troops with family members who will command them, their command stat adding to your troops’ attack, defense, and morale. Your lords aren’t just for fighting though. They can govern your towns increasing their income and decreasing their building and troop costs — unless they have garbage traits. And traits are everything. Your most level-headed general might charge without command if he hates the French and he’s fighting his hated foes.

When your armies clash the world map will give way to randomly generated but terrain influenced combat map so try to fight someplace that works to your advantage. Combat in the field is all about shocking your enemies and breaking their morale at which point they’ll run and, unless they have a truly inspiring or terrifying commander, won’t turn back.

If your playing a Christian faction then you’re gonna have to deal with the Pope because he hates it when everyone’s fighting and being all non-Christ-like. If you work with the pope then you can call crusades on religious cities and get some free passes to attack other nations. If you don’t listen to him then your faction might get excommunicated and that’ll make your people really upset — It can also make you a target for enemy crusades. Muslim nations don’t have to answer to anyone but can only use their Jihads to re-take cities they’ve lost.

If you’ve got cardinals you can control their votes to elect a new pope and if you’re faction controls the pope then you can do just about whatever you want.

There’s also a multiplayer component to the game but you can only fight over the internet. If you want to run a campaign with your friends then you’ll have to do it hot-seat style — and have a gentlemen’s agreement to only autocalculate combat between player controlled factions because the AI isn’t as good as you are.

The Gush

I love a siege. Nothing gets my blood up like defending some walls. None shall pass says I. No matter how grim things get defending troops have a morale bonus and will flee to the center of town instead of abandoning the field. The larger the city is the more defenses it has and it may even have an inner set of walls. The siegers will be hard pressed to get their siege engines that far into the city.

Come and get me.

I love seeing what crazy pile of traits I can have on one character. I already mentioned the pope being secretly a woman but there’s nothing like my Danish king who was accompanied by an old war buddy and an classically trained Berserker.

Nothing like playing Milan. Milan gets their best military units from towns instead of castles so they have both economic power and military strength.

Sometimes things from history will happen in the game. I was playing as Egypt and born to my king was a son with the trait Born to Command and the boy’s name was Saladin. Naturally I threw him into every battle that I could and I couldn’t help but keep his chivalry high.

The Kvetch

There’s no real naval combat in this game. All you can do is auto-calculate naval battles so there’s no real skill involved. I also don’t understand exactly how they work. I don’t know what makes a good navy.

In this image is all of the game’s naval combat. You can auto-calculate or run.

The fog of war in this game is your worst enemy. If you’re marching your army and it runs into another thing be it another army, a merchant, or a princess — doesn’t matter — they’ll get stopped dead in their tracks. They also lose all of their movement until the next turn. It’s just annoying for normal armies but it can kill a Crusade or a Jihad because if the army stops moving then the soldiers will desert as they doubt your devotion to the cause. I generally cheat to disable the fog of war because I can’t deal with inching along to avoid it.

Does anyone know how merchants work? Could you drop a comment? Because I’ve been playing this game for 5 years and I have no fucking clue. I know that if you put them on a resource they’ll earn you extra money and they can try to acquire assets from enemy merchants. But enemy merchants typically have such high skill that mine fail to acquire their assets and are often destroyed in retaliation. It just feels like a waste of 550 florins.

All of the non-English voice acting sounds incredibly awful and maybe even a little racist. I keep it on just to laugh and cringe at.

The Verdict

This game gives me “one more turn syndrome” so badly. I’ll turn it on play 50 turns real quick but why not 51? Oh, wait, I really want to finish this siege. Ope, a Crusade? I’ll just finish that up real quick and then I’m done. It continues like this until my weekend gets destroyed. This game is fantastic. It’s 25 dollar Steam price tag is just a testament to how well it’s aged.

Next Week: Iji

Theo’s Waste Basket: Sonic R (Saturn, PC, Playstation 2, Gamecube)

Theo’s Waste Basket will be an ongoing addition to my normal posts. My friend Thelonious finds old games that are commonly considered to be bad and gives them another look.

Introduction

If there’s one thing I know about video game franchises, it’s that outside of the core series, everyone likes to race. Mario and the gang have 8 games, Rare’s Diddy Kong Racing ganged up all its cute anthropomorphic pals and put together a unique racing game that had some semblance of a plot if you played it right, and in the last few years, Sega released their “all-star” kart racer. I guess driving is a lot of fun when you don’t have to save the world. But we’re not driving.

Why the hell would sonic need a car?

 

History

Sonic CD was the second game developed by Travelers Tales. It’s a familiar name. If you’ve played anything with “Lego” before the name of a movie series, they developed it. But back in the far-off land of 1996, Sonic Team began talking with the company about making a second Sonic game, the first being 3D Blast, which was a monument to the mega-drive’s processing capabilities. Like Sonic 3D Blast was for the Mega-drive and Genesis. Sonic R was meant to show the processing power and ability the Sega Saturn was capable of. On Halloween, Sonic R was released in North America.

A lot of VERY good games were released in 1997, so let’s look at just the big titles released around the same time. These games were: PaRappa the Rapper (PS1), Curse of Monkey Island (PC) and Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back (PS1) with Diddy Kong Racing not far behind, released November 24th. The PC version I played was released the following year.

Nostalgia

I barely even remember when I played Sonic R the first time. It certainly wasn’t on its original console. I was obsessed with Sonic, though. I don’t even remember where it came from but my youth was spent playing Sonic, Sonic 2 and Sonic 3 on the Genesis because damn did I love going fast and the color blue. I don’t have much memory of when I first played it though. I just borrowed a CD from a friend, and played it on our first computer, back in…shit, the early 2000’s?

At least it came with MYST.

 

The first time I played it, I was so excited. Sonic! Racing! I could play it! Unlike Myst with its prerendered, 3d pictures, I could run around a bunch of colorful, detailed courses. After a few races, I spent a lot of time in time attack exploring the maps.There was Flicky Island, which I remember from the comics, a Casino Night Zone/City streets area, A robotic stronghold, ancient ruins and a shining gemstone track in space you unlocked by coming in first on the four other tracks. Five maps isn’t all that impressive, even for 1997. I was a bit disappointed then, but I loved Sonic and I would take what I could get, dammit.

 

Gameplay

Like most early sonic games, the control scheme was simple, just brought into 3d. the up arrow went forward, left and right turned, but back let you crouch and instead of jumping when you pressed the spacebar you’d charge up a spindash and speed ahead. Mercifully, the left and right arrow keys were bound to drift, and not turn, making cornering possible.Turning normally I found out, playing with a friend on the Gamecube’s Mega Collection, is bogus and awful.  I found drifting mapped to the shoulder buttons on the controler and smoked him every race. Even on the gamecube though, the movement felt floaty. turns, even when i was drifting were very wide and sapped your speed immensely. Collision with walls and other characters was fine, but you would bounce and ricochet off of other racers like they were balloons making the beginning of races very chaotic and left me in last until i caught up.

There were also weather controls where different weather caused different track conditions. Rain made tracks slick, snow froze water that you could then walk on. It was a thing. There was a pretty big cast list, each racer had an unlockable alternate if you collected the 5 coins hidden on a stage and beat them in a head to head race. If you collected all the emeralds hidden across the first four stages, you could even be Super Sonic! All the characters have their own traits too; Tails flies, Knuckles glides, Sonic is faster, Amy drives? (sure why not) and Robotnik has the Egg-1 which fires a missile. I guess there was also back-story somewhere, but no one told me about it and it’s not ever brought up in the game. Pick a map, race, I guess Robotnik is there. Ho-hum.

Tails doll is a meme now, I presume everyone else faded into alcoholism.

 

The Salvage

You are wrong. I know what you’re going to say and you are wrong. The music is well produced and in ANY non-video game setting, a CD perhaps, it would have had its fans. I still listen to the credit music sometimes. Music aside…

 

The Scrap

It has not aged well. At all. The characters are low low polygon, with very minimal detail, the maps have even less polygons. The ruins, fortress and city stages are pretty graphically detailed, but every map but the last feels very short. Control issues are there, even on drifting, I found myself hitting walls on tight turns. Collecting emeralds and coins can be a nightmare. You had to get all 5 coins AND come in first to even have a chance of unlocking the new racer. The same goes for emeralds. Come in first, or get nothing. You can collect rings for a speed booster that for a price will accelerate you for a bit but it’s nearly useless. You’re better off using the rings to open up a ring gate that provides a better shortcut or opens up an emerald to collect on your next pass. Some gates are literally just a gate without anything else. It just sits to the side so you can open it later and have an emerald just out in the open. It’s weird and feels unfinished. There are a lot of characters, sure, but the unlockables are only better versions of their non-robot selves and Amy’s car is slow, sounds like someone giving you a constant raspberry and the boost you get in place of being able to jump didn’t last long enough to make her a viable racer in any circumstance (I still won with her). Speaking of slow, after you unlock Super Sonic, there’s no chance of you winning as anyone else. None of the maps are very well designed and the final map is just rainbow road. They didn’t even try to hide it. Is there more? Probably…

 

The Decision

I downloaded a .rar trying to get some nostalgia and it happened to have the entire soundtrack. If you want some 90’s R&B, find a download of that. I can’t get the .iso file to play so I’m gonna delete it.