The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang (Super Nintendo)

The vampire kingdom, the zombie kingdom, and the… human(?) kingdom have lived in peace for a long damn time. The Zombie lord Von Hessler has broken this peace, declaring war on both of the other kingdoms. No one can figure out why he’s invading nor can they figure how he’s winning! The vampire lord and lady send their son, Spike McFang, to adventurer camp — you know, where you send the kids for the summer– to get ready for the impending invasion.  When Spike returns his family’s castle has been conquered and he won’t take that lying down. Join spike as he liberates the conquered kingdoms, walks at an awkward pace, spins, and uses magical cards to thwart his enemies.

This fairy riding on a tooth is the instructor of Adventurer Camp. No, it doesn’t make sense in context.

History

The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang was developed by Bullet Proof Software. A company most known for porting Tetris a dozen goddam times — and making the slow, awkward, barf-fest known as Faceball 2000 (but that’s for another day). This game had small differences between the US and Japanese releases. For example Spike no longer fully heals upon leveling up and monsters have more hit points, making the game longer by forcing the player to backtrack and use more items. The shopkeeper’s visual design was also changed.

From a cute girl to a mummy squid thing.

The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang was released in June of 1994. It’s competition was Super Metroid (SNES), Sonic the Hedgehog (Sega Genesis), and Final Fantasy VI (SNES).

Experiences

This game was the one that got away for me. I rented it once when I was a young and impressionable child and loved it — but you know… kids are stupid. I got stuck before I finished the first chapter but that just made me want to beat it more. There was only one word that I remembered from the title, ‘Twist’. Before the internet’s day it was hard to find but as the compilation of useless information grew in size I was able to find the game at last, play it, and finish it. It all went downhill from there.

Gameplay

The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang consists of a Vampire in a blue onesie and a top hat on an isometric plane jumping around and beating up sentient onions and other weird monsters. He can attack by throwing his hat and spinning his cape — but if he spins too man times he’ll lose his balance. Spike also explores dungeons avoiding traps and searching for keys — Legend of Zelda style. Spike can also buy and find cards that can do all sorts of stuff like healing him or helping him deal more damage.

The Gush

The music is pretty good. It’s memorable enough that I still have a few of the tunes rattling around in my noggin — I still remember the Batland theme. The boss theme always got me pumped and ready to dish out some damage — whether that was strictly possible or not.

I don’t know why the world is populated by golems with Easter island heads but I like it. It certainly doesn’t hurt that they’re almost always around to help.

I will admit that I’m a little weirded out by their stony stares.

The Kvetch

I just figured out that there’s a two player mode. It’s only available if Spike has a companion with him, which is only during certain parts of the game. But it’s only unlocked BY PUTTING IN A SECRET FUCKING CODE! It’s not in the manual, no one knew it when I was growing up, no one had even heard of this game. You’ve basically got to buy a cheat book to play with a friend in this game.

Spike’s main attack is his cape spin. It’s incredibly cool but totally impractical. It immobilizes Spike so it’s more than likely that the bosses –as they jump nimbly-bimbly– will knock his fangs out. Spike’s hat throw also immobilizes him but has the benefit of attacking from a range.

That white flash there is the total range of the cape.

The plot, that which it exists, is weak as hell. I’m not really rooting for anyone and the only reason I’m willing to play Spike is because he’s a vampire wearing a top hat and a blue onesie.

When you get to the end of the game you’d best have everything you need because there is no shop and no going back. To boot, the final boss is a tough sonovabitch which almost requires cards to defeat so if you used them all reaching him then you’re in for a tough fight. A fight so tough that I restarted the game and stockpiled cards instead of facing him.

The final area is also a jungle maze. If you go the wrong way you get sent back to the beginning.

Spike’s walking speed and jumping speed are so abysmally slow that you’re probably not going to be able to get out of the way enemy attacks.

There’s a sort of invisible experience point system, when Spike vanquishes an enemy he gets XP and can level up. But all leveling does is increase Spike’s health and damage. With no other features it just leads to a lot of grinding because you gotta stay ahead of the curve.

The Verdict

This game is lame overall. The gameplay is weak, the design promotes unfair difficulty, and the story is nonexistant. I was totally nostalgia blind when I went back to it and I was taken aback at how simple and hollow the experience was. This game is at the same time too short and too long. There’s not enough exporation of the world and at the same time I’m so glad when it’s over. Avoid The Twisted Tales of Spike McFang.

Kirby Superstar (SNES)

Introduction

When it says “8 games in one” they’re not kidding. Kirby’s got to save the world from Dedede– twice–, a giant bird, Meta-Night, and no Kirby game would be complete if he didn’t have to save the world from a being from another world, planet, or reality. Kirby’s got new copy abilities and new, more sophisticated, buddies to summon — Gooey, you knew you were on thin ice. Join gaming’s favorite pink puffball as he faces his most dangerous foes yet.

Where to start?

History

There seems to be a running trend now that Kirby games don’t have any development information. What I can say is that this game was released a year before Kirby’s Dream Land 3. I won’t say it looks better but it’s a much more complex and interesting game. It’s got six main campaigns and three minigames in contrast to Dreamland’s thirty levels. The art styles match the games very well but I feel like Superstar’s just looks better. Drop a comment if you’ve played them both and have a preference.

Kirby Superstar came out on September 20th, 1996. It’s competition was Tetris Attack (SNES), Phatasmagoria: Puzzle of the Flesh (PC), and The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall (PC).

Experiences

Despite the injection of plot I’ll admit that this game’s campaigns have some pretty weak and cookie cutter stories. Revenge of Meta Knight had the only story that really held my attention. Meta Knight and Kirby have been rivals for a long time but they’ve been known to team up every so often. I wanted to know what Meta Knight was swearing revenge for and it’s not really explained in the gameplay. Resting on the introduction screen shows  how the Halberd got created and why Meta Knight is attacking Dreamland — Why they don’t mention this in the game is a mystery to me.  As it turns out Meta Knight is conquering Dreamland because he disapproves of their “lazy lifestyle.”

Hey man, Kirby and Dedede ran a three part marathon in this game alone. Are they really that lazy?

The weirdest thing is that I really sympathized with Meta Knight on this one. I don’t agree with his methods but Dreamland should probably get its act together and do something with its existence. Dedede is the king, maybe he should do something besides trying to hoard all the food — which he does in every game for some reason.

Gameplay

Very similar to other Kirby games, Kirby eats enemies and copies their abilities. His goal in every campaign is to fight enemies and beat up some meany head who’s being a jerk. Unlike other Kirby games this game has a sense of progression. Certain campaigns are only unlocked by beating other campaigns.

Gooey can’t help or hurt you in this game because he hasn’t been invented yet. Instead of summoning Gooey Kirby can turn his copied power into a buddy. Kirby can only have one buddy at a time and this buddy will do everything in his power to beat up Kirby’s enemies — to greater or lesser degrees. The second player can also take control of this buddy. If you’re annoyed with your friends or the buddy in general you can press the buddy button again to turn the buddy into an object that confers the copied ability when consumed.

They’ve also all got… names. Hey, player 2, do you wanna play as Bonkers the ape man with a hammer? Why are you walking away?

The Gush

I hate banging on about the music all the time but the music in these games are really good. Games with bad music feel more drawn out and boring. Games with good music feel compressed, like all the bad or listless parts are forgotten because at least I had some sweet tunes to jam out to. And sweet tunes this game has.

I think this is the only game with an Earthbound reference in it. One of the treasures that you can find in the great Cave Offensive is a Mr. Saturn, of which there is a whole tribe in Earthbound — I love those big nosed guys.

Each of the different campaigns has a unique mechanic. The Great Cave Offensive has its treasure hunt — though it’s not necessary to find everything (We all know it is). Meta Knightmare introduces a time limit for each level — I guess Meta Knight disaproves of Kirby’s lazy pace. And in Milky Way Wishes Kirby unlocks his powers instead of getting them by inhaling his enemies — but… isn’t Kirby from space? Why would space creatures nullify his copy abilities? And why would other planets be filled with all of the same creatures as Popstar but with different color schemes?

They also have different HUDs. Check out the Great Cave Offensive’s treasure map.

The Copy ability is an ability that allows Kirby to copy enemies. I bet you’re probably thinking, “Doesn’t he already do that by inhaling them?” Yes, this is true. But the point is that Kirby can turn this Copy ability into a buddy, allowing the second player to copy enemies like Kirby himself. This is a glorious godsend, a rare treat for the second player to play as a sort of mini-Kirby with.

The Kvush

The backgrounds are really hit or miss. The fight against Dedede features a crowd filled with enemies cheering– even Super Mario is hiding in the corner. The fight against Dyna Blade on the other hand has a plain purple background — I bet it has to do with her defeat animation but it still doesn’t look good. Check out the differences.

Oh snap… a cloud….

It’s even got an arena marquis!

 

The Kvetch

Six different campaigns, two minigames, and a boss rush. That’s a lot of things to do in a little SNES cartridge. You might be wondering what the game rewards the player with in return for doing all of these things — I mean, I am. Perhaps they grace us with a version of the credits that’s really silly or a unique little scene that sheds some light on characters. Nope… you get a sound test — do people even know what a sound test is anymore?

This game has got a lives system for seemingly no reason. Losing a life makes you restart the level. Running out of lives forces you to continue or quit. Continuing… also makes you start at the beginning of the level — I guess it’s supposed you make you feel bad or something. It shows that this silly mechanic was losing relevance even at this time.

Some of the tutorials are unskippable and unnecessary. It might be difficult to figure out that consuming an enemy copies their ability but the player can still spit enemies out to attack. It’s intuitive to think that a character who can inhale enemies can eat them. Eating an enemy that has no ability informs the player that that enemy didn’t have an ability. That hints the player that some enemies do things when they’re eaten. The game deprives the player of that sense of discovery — It’s also annoying as fuck to watch the same tutorial whenever I play the game.

The Verdict

This is the best Kirby game that I’ve ever played. I love it that much. If you like platforming and using crazy abilities then you’ll probably like this game. Bring a friend, turn him into a Waddle Dee with an umbrella, laugh at him, stop laughing as he starts knocking dudes out. It’s just a great time.

This game has got a remake for the Nintendo DS called Kirby Superstar Ultra. It makes the best even better. Pick it up if you’d rather be a pink puff ball on the go.

Next Week: Lord of the Rings: The Third Age.

Final Fantasy VI (SNES)

The top image is the japanese box art and the bottom image is the US box art. Did we ever get shafted.

Introduction

1000 years ago civilization as we know it was nearly wiped from the face of the world in a conflict known as the War of the Magi. Humans and beings knows as Espers wielded magic in countless battles. Humanity had to rediscover the power of steam and the most basic of industrial technologies. The Empire– it’s seriously just the empire? Whatever, just remember kids empires are evil and kingdoms are good!– has rediscovered Magic now and is gathering power at breakneck speed. You take the roll of a group of 14 exceptional individuals that have gathered from the disparate corners of the world– even the Empire itself– to fight the Empire.

Whatever you like, this game has a character for you. It’s got 2 kids, an androgynous mime, a yeti, and a samurai–  if you want it, they got it.

History

I bet I know what all y’all are thinking right now, “If the game is final fantasy 6 then why does the box have a roman numeral three on it?” Good question with a simple answer. Final fantasy 2, 3, and 5 weren’t released in the US. Final Fantasy 4 was the second Final Fantasy game that was released in the US so they marketed it as Final Fantasy 2 to avoid confusion– which would eventually create the confusion you’re feeling now, presumably. So when Final Fantasy 6 came out in the US they called it three to continue the trend. So that’s why it’s VI on the Japanese box and III on the US. With that out of the way, let’s talk about some other stuff!

This is the first game in the series that series creator Hironobu Sakaguchi was not intimately involved with, or at least not as involved as he wanted to be. Different characters were designed by different developers and it makes the game piecemeal but in a good way. They took the elements that they liked and turned them into wonderful quilt of a game. The game has no clear protagonist and I believe this large combined effort is the cause.

Fun Fact: This game was developed in a year– that’s just insane to me.

This game was released in the US on October 20th 1994. It’s competition was Sonic and Knuckles (Sega Genesis), Warcraft (PC), and Donkey Kong Country (SNES).

Nostalgia

Video Game rental stores– they were illegal in Japan and I can see why. Lemme just say that my family was super poor for awhile — they eventually started paying me in videogames for my good grades. In the meantime we would rent games because we couldn’t afford to purchase them. It was 7 dollars for 5 days. Now, that’s fine for a game that you can beat in 5 days but Final Fantasy VI requires an attention span that a 12 year old just can’t sustain in order to beat it in so short a time. I would rent it time and time again just to play through the first few hours because my save file would always get overwritten by the time I could get it back. Oh… damn… I should have written this section on limited save files– I am the worst blogger. God, I would play on a higher leveled save file and I couldn’t understand what was going on because I didn’t know the plot and I would feel bad for messing with someone’s game.

Bottom line, if we had saved the money we spent renting this thing over and over again without getting anywhere we could have bought it. It was a scam renting this game out pure and simple.

I’ll see you in hell.

Gameplay

As is usually the fair in Final Fantasy games there’s the plot and some combat, and ne’er the twain shall meet. The plot is rife with spoilers and learning as the story unfolds is most of the enjoyment so I’ll just talk about the basics. The world is split between free states and the Empire– I’m still harping on it for being just THE Empire. (This just in: It’s actually called the Gestahlan Empire. Named after it’s emperor, Gestahl.) The Empire is centrally located on one continent and the free states are divided and not militaristic so they’re having a hard time repelling the Empire, especially since the Empire discovered Magic and Magi-tek– Oh man, it’s like Magic and Technology put together! I just like the word, it rolls of the tongue — if the tongue was an assembly line. People from all the free states have banded together to form a group called the Returners, who are going to fight the Empire. I never understood why they were called the Returners. What are they returning from– are they saying not to call it comeback because they never left? I dunno, it’s a cool name but I don’t understand why they use it.

This world is filled with people who are willing to fight the Empire, some may need a push but they’re more than able. These people are Terra, the enigmatic woman who has been brainwashed by the empire and forced to use her natural magic powers to kill innocents– by the way, that natural magic thing is really important. Locke, a pure-hearted thief– I mean treasure hunter– who works for the Returners. Edgar, the flirtatious king of Figaro who appears to help the Empire but really colludes with the Returners. Sabin, Edgar’s twin brother who abdicated the throne in order to follow his dreams of becoming a martial artist. Cyan, an honorable samurai in the service of the Kingdom of Doma. Gau, a feral child who has survived the harshest wilderness in the world. Celes, a tomboy general for the Empire who is considering defection. Setzer, a gambling free spirit and pilot of the world’s only airship. Shadow– very original guys– a taciturn ninja who works for the highest bidder. Relm, a peppy young girl who can bring her drawings to life for a short while. She lives with her grandfather Strago, who can keep up with his granddaughter and has learned the ways of many monsters. Mog, the urbanite moogle whose dances can summon the forces of the world. That’s 12 characters! And it’s not including the 2 secret characters.

Look at all these guys!

Each character has different abilities that they can employ in combat. I find it super fun to find combinations of characters that compliment each other very well. Characters can attack as well as cast spells– did I say cast spells? I meant to say that magic is dead… dead forever… yup… forever.

The music in this game is some of the best for the Super Nintendo. It was composed by Nobuo Uematsu so you know it’s good– if you know who that guy is, I mean.

This music is so notable that there is an entire album devoted to remixing it. It’s called Balance and Ruin and I highly suggest checking it out.

The art and animation for this game is shockingly good for the time. Characters had more mobility than ever — They were able to blink, man! They could raise there arms and could move around out of pixel alignment which allowed them to express things that couldn’t be expressed in previous games. The animations of magic are also really satisfying, it looks like these enemies are getting messed up.

It might not look like much now but it was revolutionary at the time.

The Gush

Sabin suplexes a train, you heard me. Sabin can suplex a train, check it.

This could be the whole section, but I guess I should say more.

 

The villain’s motivation is wonderfully simple. There’s nothing wrong with crazy being a character’s motivation especially when they have so much character behind it. I also rate him as one of the greatest villains of all time just because of the sheer amount of havoc and death he causes. He also rates as one of the most glamour filled final fights in game history. His boss fight has 4 stages. These aren’t multiple forms mind you, this guy’s just got 3 waves of minions to fight before you even face him. And to top it all off, the music is fucking wonderful.

I’m just going to say it again, but the art for this game is beautiful.

Just take a look at this image. That’s the Imperial capital and you’re going to infiltrate it with that airship. How small, defenseless, and exposed do you feel right now? They’ve got you beaten dead to rights, if that searchlight hits you that airship is getting shot down. They out-man, out-gun, and over-power you in every single way. And if you don’t defeat them then no one will– that’s some Lord of the Rings stuff right there. Good luck.

The sketches are just jaw-dropping.

Is anyone ready to be a Samurai yet?

Or maybe a ninja? Whichever you choose, you win.

There are 14 characters in this game and it never feels like any of them are being shortchanged. By the end ten of them get closure to their personal stories. The game was designed to have no protagonist and it gives the player the opportunity to pick their own.

If you asked me to pick a favorite character I wouldn’t be able to. Every time I choose one I immediately think of a reason to pick someone else. I want to choose Shadow because he’s got a mysterious past that we get to piece together but then I remember some spoilery things that happens with Locke but then my mind turns to Relm’s spunky attitude and it never ends! They’re all just so goddam compelling.

You know what’s awesome!? Dogs! Shadow’s got a dog. It takes hits for him and dishes out the pain. It’s something small, but it gives him so much character and life. The dog’s name is Interceptor and he “eats strangers,” if that’s not cool I dunno what is.

This game runs the gamut of emotions. I cried, I cheered, I laughed– did I mention that this game can be really funny. And it’s not just the translation, but that doesn’t hurt it.

Mistranslation or non-sequitor? You decide.

This game has serious choices with serious consequences. I’m not going to spoil it but just remember, leave no man behind.

The Kvetch

Do you remember that part where I said you could pick your protagonist? Well sometimes the game chooses which characters you have to play and that can rob you of your protagonist…ness. But hey, you’re favorite guy or gal is probably busy doing something else in another location– certainly something really awesome — while these guys also do something important.

This game is really buggy. Thankfully most of the bugs are so obscure that you’re unlikely to find them but some are just game changing. The evade stat doesn’t work, you heard me. You evade attacks based on your Magic Block stat, not the evade stat. In addition, the dark status effect doesn’t do anything. Try blinding an enemy? It has no effect. Then again it doesn’t effect you either so it’s not all bad. Then again, the dark status effect indicator makes it look like you’re character is wearing sunglasses so…

Certain spell combinations can break the game, enabling the player to defeat all enemies in two casts with the exception of some bosses. Some would say this is a plus but I disagree.

This game can be a completionist’s nightmare. There are a lot of segments that are points of no return with sweet loot behind you. Some abilities can only be acquired in certain parts of the game and are LOST FOREVER if you don’t get them. Certain scenes only trigger in mutually exclusive circumstances, so if you did A and not B then something happens but you can only see the other thing if you restart the game and then do B and not A.

Get your strategy guide kids because there are secrets hidden in senseless places all over this game. It wouldn’t be so bad but some of them are only available the first time you enter the room and that just seems unfair.

The Verdict

It might come as a shock to you, dear reader, but I fucking love this game. I still play through it once a year. I don’t feel nostalgia blinded by this game, I feel nostalgia enriched. When I got the full version and could stop renting it my world was splite between high school homework and this game for 2 weeks until I beat it. I personally think it’s the best in the series. Agree? Disagree? Hash it out in the comments.

Next Week: Fallout 1

Lemmings (SNES)

Introduction

 A group of brownies are walking across a bridge going from A to B on some sort of grand pilgrimage– either that or some sort of mass exodus. One of them messes with the bridge raising controls and accidentally sends the rest of his brethren falling into the ravine below. Now he’s miserably alone and the rest of his friends are far from home. The player must assign tasks to guide the Lemmings to their desired destination and away from hazards.

By Brownie I mean the mythical creature depicted above, not the dessert.

Development

The game started when Mike Dailly animated a walk cycle with a character eight pixels wide and eight pixels tall. DMA design kept tinkering with the animation and improving it. The model would loop endlessly. Russel Ken said, “There’s a game in that.” The creatures were named Lemmings after the animals of the same name, famous for the misconception that they will run off of cliffs blindly. The levels were designed in custom Deluxe Paint interface which made it really easy for all the team members to make levels. It’s even possible to tell who designed which levels based on their characteristics.

This game is one of the most widely ported games I’ve ever heard of. Originally released for the Amiga and the Atari ST it was also released for the 3DO, Acorn Archimedes, Amstrad CPC, Apple IIGS, Lynx, Atari 800 XE/XL, Commodore 64, Amiga CD32, MS-DOS, NES, Game Boy, Game Boy Color, Philips CD-i, Windows, TurboGrafx-CD, and some Texas Instruments Calculators. I’m not going to lie, I haven’t heard of half of these consoles.

Lemmings was released for the SNES on December 18th,1991. It was up against Cid Meier’s Civilization (PC), Sonic the Hedgehog 1 (Sega Genesis), and Another World (Amiga 500).

This is the Amiga box art, I think it’s better than the SNES. That warning is totally legit though, this game is hard.

Nostalgia

This is the one game that my mother would play. I was playing this game before I could read so it was great to have her around. She loved the music, she stills remembers it if I bring it up. When we would play I would operate the controller and she would tell me what to do and we’d strategize. We’d always forget to write the passwords down so we’d end up starting from the beginning of the game ever time.

We tried playing the two player once. The regular game is hard enough without another player breaking stuff.

Gameplay

The goal of each level is to get the lemmings from their starting trap door to the goal. They’ll keep dropping at a constant rate and walk the right. They’ll climb small steps and will gladly walk off of cliffs. The player needs to think fast to order certain lemmings to perform certain actions. Lemmings can be made into climbers, floaters, and blockers, they can also be told to build a 15 stair stairway, mine in a down diagonal direction, bash to destroying obstacles that are straight ahead, dig straight down, and explode. When I say explode I don’t mean setting a bomb, I mean self destructing– it’s weird. Certain levels limit the number of iterations of actions the player can bestow, other levels eliminate them entirely.

Did I mention that the Nuke button next to the map destroys all the Lemmings? Between that, the fact that exploding them is necessary to beat some levels, the sound they make when they die of fall damage, and this screen this game is shockingly dark.

The Gush

Um… it’s a good puzzle game. There are infinite tries so there’s no way to fail. Some puzzles have multiple solutions that reward the players ingenuity. The music samples a lot of public domain music and I really like hearing old songs get a new 16 bit paint job.

This set up is a great example of the micromanaging that this game asks for and the rewards it brings. Putting those blockers at the end of the stairs prevent Lemmings from falling to their death, and the use of the miner ability makes up for the lack of bashers.

The Kvetch

I’ve got a lot of problems with this game. The falling death sound effect is quite possibly the most brutal death noise I’ve ever heard in a game. I’m always hesitant to make a lemming explode because they’re clearly sentient creatures, I guess it’s for the greater good but it’s sort of disturbing.

As far as I know none of the passwords work. Story time, I stepped away from my console after I lost a level to grab something to drink. There’s a 10 second time to restart a level so it went to the main menu. No problem, I have the internet. I can look up a password. I put it in and it didn’t work. So I figured the internet is filled with trolls and they’re wrong passwords so I played back to level 15, keeping track of the passwords this time. When I came back to it the passwords didn’t work. I don’t know if its my cartridge or the password system as a whole, but I’ve got to beat all 100 levels in one sitting and that’s ridiculous.

Sometimes it’s impossible to target the correct lemming because they’re all clumped together. Commands are also direction sensitive so if the lemmings are too clumped together then a lemming will start bashing in the wrong direction, wasting a use of basher.

The traps are horrifying. Lemmings get hung, burned, crushed, and destroyed in a bunch of horrible ways. It’s not terribly graphic but it’s a puzzle game for children. And the usage of a nuclear blast mushroom cloud to indicate the destruction of all the lemmings seems super insensitive.

That thing in the center there is a gallows that’ll hang your lemmings on the spot.

The Verdict

The game is great, the puzzles are solid and fun to solve. But looking back there are a lot of disturbing things in the game. All the ways that the lemmings can die wouldn’t be so strange if the game didn’t pretend it was all so happy. I guess it worked, when I was a kid I didn’t think it was so horrifying. I like it but now I feel bad for not caring about all the lemmings I exploded when I was a kid.

Next Week: The Pokemon Trading Card Game (Gameboy Color)