Heroes of Might and Magic III: The Restoration of Erathia (PC, Mac, iOS, Android)

Dear god, that’s a helluva name.

The King of Erathia, Gryphonheart, has been assassinated. In his absence the underground empire of Nighon has teamed up with the, literally, hellish force of Eofol to take over the kingdom. Meanwhile, the Necromancers of Deyja are thinking of putting Gryphonheart’s corpse and it’s military experience to use. The kingdoms of Avlee and Bracada are trying to hold Erathia together but between the invasion from below and the barbarian land grabs, they’ve got their hands full. Catherine, the new queen, having heard of her father’s demise returns home. Having fought in Enroth’s brutal war for its throne, she expects only to bury her father. With her country in chaos it falls to her, and her talented commander, to fight for her homeland.

History

New World Computing had just been purchased by 3DO and they wanted a sequel for their successful Heroes of Might and Magic series. David Mullich, the director of the project, had worked on such games as Ducktales for the NES and I Have no Mouth and I Must Scream –two games that couldn’t be more different. He was accompanied by writer and assistant director Chris Vanover who wrote every character bio and most of the text for the game. Mullich’s goal was to take the basic systems of Heroes II but improve the visuals and tighten everything. To that end they used 3D sprites instead of 2D sprites. Mullich put together his team personally and said, “I was working with a dream team the likes of which I have never again experienced in my thirty-five years in game industry.”

Fun Fact: David Mullich appears in the level editor as an Erathian knight named Sir Mullich, who is “prone to spasmodic fits of uncoordinated excitement believed to intimidate his troops into working faster.”

Heroes of Might and Magic III was released on February 28, 1999. It’s competition was Baldur’s Gate: Tales From the Sword Coast (PC), Star Wars: X-Wing Alliance (PC), and Final Fantasy VIII (PS1).

Oh man, 3D graphics! I wish the heroes could do more than cast spells though… alas they don’t attack until Heroes IV.

 Experiences

Before I knew what Dungeons and Dragons was, before I knew about Tolkien, before Diablo, there was Heroes of Might and Magic. This is the game that taught me that Medusa turns things to stone and that wizards are awesome. I used to play this game when my mother would visit some of her friends. These guys were old-school nerds. These guys used to code in DOS and had played Betrayal at Krondor. This game sort of started my interest in nerd culture and I thank it for that.

This game’s got everything, dragons, orcs, titans, necromancers, elves, EVERYTHING! They’re throwing fantasy at the wall and everything sticks.

Gameplay

The player assumes the role of a commander overseeing all affairs military and domestic in some sort of armed conflict. This commander hires heroes who take the battle to enemy heroes and cities. Heroes gain experience and level up, gaining new skills and improving the stats of units under their control. Cities produce military units, gold, and a mage’s guild that teaches heroes valuable spells, both combat and non-combat.

These heroes navigate an overworld map covered with all sorts of monsters, locations, and general adventure.

The game is split into scenarios which each have a certain goal. Sometimes it’s simply to destroy all enemies but sometimes it’s something more specific like taking a certain town or destroying a certain hero. Sometimes the goal is something as oddly specific as getting a particular artifact or enough resources before other players.

There are also aproximately this many artifacts. All of which have an interesting ability.

The game also comes packed with Hot seat and IP address multiplayer. So you and your friends can settle which is the better on the field of honor.

The Gush

The music in this game is really awesome.  It’s delightfully epic in its scope. It’s low budget grand fantasy, it’s nothing that an 8 track and a keyboard couldn’t put together but I think that just gives it charm. From the sweeping crescendos of the Stronghold’s rugged mountains to the dingy gloom of the Necropolis’ death filled halls the music fits wonderfully.

There’s also something pleasing about building up a city from a town hall and some huts to something like this.

The campaign writing and voice acting is pretty good. My favorite writing is the incidental writing though. All of the artifact pick ups have a description and all of the heroes have little biographies. It’s usually really campy but occasionally there’s something unique and interesting. The story of the main campaign is also pretty good so I felt rewarded.

Do you see this guy? You’d better step back…

… because you’re dealing with motherfucking Solmyr, one of the most busted characters in the entire game. Anyone who likes the Tower knows that they hire this guy on sight. His heroic specialty is the spell Chain Lightning so he starts with it. It costs tons of mana and deals buckets of damage. It win fights –Unless it jumps to your troops. If you luck out then you’ll find the Pendant of Negativity which renders your troops immune to lightning –never strike your own troops again!– then again there’s the opposite scenario where it falls into enemy hands and Solmyr turns into a useless blue cloud. Oh yeah, and he’s a freaking genie!

The Kvetch

Some cities have building restrictions. It’s usually really flavorful, the city just doesn’t have the military infrastructure to support strong units. The problem comes when I spend a lot of resources claiming a city that actually didn’t have the ability to build anything useful. There’s no way to know before taking the city so it just feels like a giant waste of time.

The randomness factor on maps can be a big one. I’ve gotten artifacts that benefit ships on maps with no ocean because that’s just what randomly spawned. Monster randomization has left me crying on some maps and sometimes I breeze through the same scenario because the monsters joined me instead of fighting because we were of the same faction. It makes me feel like strategy and skill doesn’t have the amount of impact that it should.

The main campaign is incredibly hard at later levels! The first few scenarios are alright but I hit a giant brick wall that I’ve never been able to overcome without cheating. I keep thinking that I should just get good but I don’t know how to improve or what I’m doing wrong.

The Verdict

This game holds up today. I’ve kept going down the Heroes series and I’m not sure if its nostalgia or if the future games just keep adding more unnecessary stuff but this game feels like the sweet spot between features and simplicity. No matter what, it’s a wonderful strategy game with a deep lore. It’s a fun time and worth the cost.

Next Week: Might and Magic VII: For Blood and Honor

The Yawhg (PC)

 

In a world of sword, sorcery, sorrow, and song, there is a city. The city is beset every great while by a disaster known as the Yawhg. You live in this city, ready to buckle down and really get your life in order– or perhaps to spend every week getting blackout drunk, it’s up to you. You’re all unaware that the Yawhg will come again in six weeks. Do what you will with the these weeks but the Yawhg will reduce the city to rubble…But perhaps you can rebuild and start over.

It’s text like this that puts me on edge in the best way.

 

Development

I said it didn’t get more indie than Studio Pixel’s one member but the Yawhg’s development team was pushing it with four people. The game was designed by Damian Sommer, a man who’s been making games since he was ten years old. He made the game based on an older and less robust title called Dungeon of Fayte. Emily Carroll made the art, co-designed, and c0-wrote it. She’s most well known for her horror themed comics and her marvelous art style. They made it during the Independent Games Festival and it made it to the finals although it didn’t win.

The Yawhg was released on May 30th, 2013. It’s competition was Fez (PC), Dust: An Elysian Tale (PC), and Monaco: What’s Yours is Mine (XBox Live Arcade).

Experiences

Because I’m a giant dork who doesn’t like large groups of people I occasionally host tea parties. Little get-togethers where I can see all of my friends in one day, they can all see each other, and everyone can have a little snack. We all chat and sometimes we sit around the computer and play some games. The Yawhg has become one of the most popular titles during these gatherings. There usually aren’t more than four people so it all works out perfectly.

And with exquisite characters like these there’s never anyone that someone doesn’t want to play.

Gameplay

The Yawhg plays like a choose-your-own adventure. Each character starts with a five in all of the main statistics, like physique or charm, except wealth which always starts at zero. The city has locations like the arena, hospital, and gardens that the player can visit and each location has two activities the character can perform there. After the player chooses an activity they’re beset by a random encounter and the player can choose how they react. Do they have wealth to spare for the fortune teller? Do they drink the potion that’s about to explode? Well, it depends on their stats whether they succeed– although a panty-waist might not want to drink that exploding potion, just saying, but you do you man.

Also, just look at this beautiful fucking city.

After the Yawhg hits it’s up to the players to use their abilities to help rebuild the town– or descend into drunkenness or looting. If the players use their talents effectively then the town will be able to rebuild. If the leader is dumber than a rock or the builder isn’t physically fit then things could get problematic.

The Gush

There are only seven tracks to the soundtrack but it’s all very well employed. The game is short so it’s also more than enough music to go around. The music is mostly acoustic guitar and keyboard so it’s pretty simple. The epilogue music gets me a little choked up every time though.

The game provides a simple but wonderful setting to roleplay in. I found it a good opportunity to introduce people to RPing to see if they liked it.

The art provided by Carroll is marvelous and I feel like the characters are so animated. Each of the characters looks so good that I like playing them all.

Although, Mr. Aurum is definitely my favorite.

The scenarios are often absurd and silly but that just adds to the fun and contrasts with the darker scenes and epilogues. It’s interesting to think of a character who once found the King’s secret wine cellar then drinking to forget the horrors of The Yawhg.

The Kvetch

There are over 50 unique endings for completing the game but sometimes there will be stretches where I swear I’ve done different things but I see the same epilogues again and again. I much prefer the more unique endings.

The Verdict

It’s a fun little party game that’s got a fair bit of replay value, especially considering the cost. But it is little, although Sommer has added content here and there. It’s worth a few playthroughs at least and I think it’s definitely worth the cost but the game has as much enjoyment as effort you put into it. It’s all about creating a character and thinking of what they would do and why. As soon as it gets reduced to stats and that sort of dominant strategy it loses its luster. It’s also super fun the more friends that join in.

Next Week: Game Dev Tycoon.

Shadow of the Colossus (PS2, PS3 [Japan Only])

This game is scarce on plot but what we know is that a young man, named Wander, beseeches a dark god, named Dormin, to bring a young woman, named Mono, back to life. To this end Wander must destroy sixteen great beasts across the Forbidden Land. And when I say “great” I mean freakin’ huge, like houses huge. Accompanied solely by his horse, Agro, and armed only with a sword and bow Wander must slay these mountains.

Development

Shadow of the Colossus was designed by Fumito Ueda, produced by Kenji Kaido, and developed by team Ico, a team of only 35 people.  Ueda was an admitted perfectionist who pushed his team to the brink of their abilities and turned away 498 out of every 500 artists who proposed to work on the game. Kaido also pushed the team by having them accurately depict what a being the size of a Colossus would do by moving to the world around it. When Colossi walk the screen shakes and leave deep divots in the earth that can send Wander tumbling. On top of this he urged them to design the Colossi as living terrain in the physics engine. When their limbs are horizontal Wander can walk across them instead of climbing them for instance.

Shadow of the Colossus was released on October 18th, 2005. It’s competition was Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth (PC, XBox), Call of Duty 2 (PC), and Resident Evil 4 (PS2).

It’s also visually stunning to boot.

Gameplay

There are only sixteen enemies in this game. The colossi are the only things that will actively try to harm Wander, and for the most part they’re more interested in aimlessly ambling about than actually hurting the player — although they can be incited to rage by pelting their eyes with arrows. Considering they’re all quite large, the smallest are roughly the size of four horses put together, Wander will have to put his climbing and parkour skills to the test. Wander is actually pretty good at climbing and controlling on colossi limbs is more responsive then I’d expect a shaking goliath would allow. Agro is a little less responsive however. Ueda wanted Agro to be so much like a real horse that he wouldn’t always obey commands– it only happens very rarely or when Agro is under extreme duress but that’s a really interesting detail.

The enemies in the game are more like puzzles than they are actual fights. Fighting a Colossus head to head, or head to ankle, wouldn’t be much of a fight. As such Wander must climb on their bodies in order to reveal weak points that his blade can inflict serious, black-blood spurting, wounds upon. Climbing on them is not so easy however, some have stone armor that is unclimbable while others fly or have similar defenses. Some of them have devilishly hidden weak points which can be revealed by focusing light on Wander’s sword and pointing it at where the beams of light focus– this method is also used to locate the Colossi’s stomping grounds.

Yar, light marks the spot.

Experiences

I’m really not good at puzzle games. I get frustrated easily and when I first laid eyes on a Colossus I thought there was no way I could kill it– I thought the game was a twenty dollar sick joke played on gamers. I put the game down for a few months after I died more times than my little nerves could take. I came back to it though and figured out its secrets. After I beat the first one I was hooked. Knowing that I had destroyed one let me know that I could destroy them all– or at least that the game wasn’t a cruel joke played on gamers around the world.

The Gush

This game’s story tells a lot while saying very little. The body language isn’t incredible but it’s interesting to see the looks on Wander’s face or the tone in Dormin’s voices. It leaves a lot for interpretation but it’s super fun.

If you just want to explore then you efforts will be well worth it. The entirety of the world was populated with shrines, geological peculiarities, flora, and all sorts of stuff that has no bearing on you ability to find giants and serves merely to be seen. If the sheer beauty of the world doesn’t dazzle you you can go hunting for fruits, which increase you maximum health — although most Colossi can kill you in one hit anyway–, and lizard tails which increase your maximum stamina — yeah, that’s more like it.

I dunno, a view like this is reward in itself.

The music is great. It’s full of orchestral pieces that constantly put me on edge in the best way. I don’t think I’m going to be attacked but I constantly feel like something is out of place or that this Forbidden Land is forbidden for a reason. Even the blaring trumpets of the triumphant moments when the Colossi are open to attack struck me as hollow in some way.

If you can’t get enough Wander on Colossus action then you can play hard mode. Which ups the Colossi’s response times and speeds. You can also play through time trials that unlock special items like a map to find those lizards, a mask that increases your damage, or exploding arrows for the ultimate silliness.

The Kvetch

Some of the Colossi are a giant pain in the ass. There’s one that breaths poisonous gas and I seriously don’t know how to beat that guy. I gave the controller to my cousin, I think, and let him handle the damn thing. The final Colossi shouldn’t be a push-over but the only reason I knew how to beat him was because I chatted with an uncle at a wedding reception and he mentioned that it took him forever to figure out how to beat this guy.I eventually caved and asked him for the low-down and it was still hard as hell.

Sometimes it seems like the only penalty for failure is time. Falling off a colossus is sometimes necessary to get to a new weak point on it or to avoid taking tons of damage or drowning. Once you figured out the trick though there’s no real challenge. It just takes more time to get back to where you were.

The Verdict

This game changed me. It taught me things about stories, intentions, endings, and the concept of adage. I laughed, I cheered, I cried, I stamped my feet and refused, and was sent to my room without supper. I bested foes 50 times my size and knew that I did it by the seed of my own wit  — with a few exceptions. I love this game and I urge you to give it a shot.

Yeah, this game makes you feel something like this. (Image courtesy of iwilding at http://iwilding.deviantart.com)

Next Week: The Yawhg

FTL: Faster Than Light (PC and iOS)

Introduction

You are the captain of a ship in the Federation of Planets. The Federation is embroiled in a bitter war against a Rebel fleet that’s turned half the sector against the Federation. The Rebels have been able to best the Federation because it’s constantly able to harass its ships with drone ships that are cheap to produce and don’t require a crew. Your vessel is doing deep reconnaissance near the Rebels and intercept a data packet describing how the ships of the Rebel Fleet are dependent on its Flagship to function. Your goal is to outrun the Rebels and get this information to the Federation Headquarters. Unfortunately the Rebels are hot on your heels. Fly through asteroid fields, solar flaring suns, sensor-blocking nebulae, and many ships of various designs and ability that all want to turn your ship into scrap.

Well, it’s actually a strategy game but it’s the most sweat inducing strategy rogue-like that I’ve ever played.

History

FTL was developed by Subset games with Justin Ma and Mathew Davis leading design — and when I say leading I think I mean that they are Subset games. Inspired by board games like the Battlestar Galactica board game and others where the players have to tactically manage power. They wanted to create an experience where, “the player feel like they were Captain Picard yelling at engineers to get the shields back online.”

The game was primarily funded by a 200,000$ Kickstarter campaign. By that point Subset had created the bones of the game but it didn’t have music, the best writing, or run very well. This Kickstarter money ensured that it would have all of those things. It was one of the first Kickstarter funded games and helped start the trend that videogames could be crowdfunded and succeed.

Years later Subset released a free, toggle-able, expansion pack called the Advance Edition. The Advanced Edition introduced a new race and several new systems to ships, making things more complex than ever.

Fun Fact: The Crystal race was a prize for one contributor to the Kickstarter campaign who donated a large sum of money.

FTL: Faster Than Light was released on September 14, 2012 and it’s Advanced Edition was released in 2014. It’s competition was Borderlands 2 (PC, XBox 360, PS3), World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria (PC, Max), and Castle Crashers (PC).

Experiences

I end up getting really attached to my crew. I usually don’t remember their names but I do remember That Mantis who killed three intruders or That Engi who’s kept my ship together through the worst that space can subject to it. I panic and pause when someone is near death, trying to figure out how to save them in time. That Engi is manning the shields and trying to keep them up while we’re under heavy fire. He’s been hit a few times by laser fire but he was able to get the shields up and running. I can see the missile pass through the shields, it’s heading for him. I pause and order him to the medical bay. He dashes for the door to avoid the blast but it’s too late. The explosion turns him into nano-particle paste and my chief engineer is dead. I pause again, shout, and wonder how I’ll manage without him.

I know we will somehow. (Art by tink29)

Gameplay

You play as a Federation ship seemingly sitting in space — it’s doing evasive maneuvers it would just be difficult to express that on a 2-D plane– as it jumps between FTL beacons trying to reach the exit to every system. The Rebel fleet is hot on your heels and will overtake beacons as it flies across the star map — and these aren’t the chump scout ships these are the professional flotilla cruisers– it’s best to avoid them.

For the most part you’ll be fighting enemy ships and you do this by allocating power to your systems, aiming your weapons, and firing them. Your systems will be targeted by enemy ships and you can target an enemy ships’ systems like their shield or weapons –actually, I almost always aim at their shields and weapons. Your ships’ hull can take a beating but it can only be repaired at stores so minimizing the damage you take is important.

Fire, hull breaches, and system damage can all cripple your ships in a number of ways. You’ll have to find ways to counter each of these mishaps.

When you salvage blown up ships or as rewards for helping people you’ll get scrap. Scrap is used to upgrade your ship’s systems and you can trade it at stores if you can find one. You expend fuel when your ship jumps, missiles when you fire them, and drone parts when you activate drones from your drone bay.

So, you’ve been upgrading your ship. You’ve probably bought a few new weapons. You’ve got a fine crew who’ve stood by you since the beginning. When you get to the end you’ve got to face the Rebel Flagship in a three round all out space brawl. Good luck, you’ll need it.

The Gush

This game has got so many mods. There’s mods for music, weapon design, that add more types of planets to background images, that ignore the rebel fleet plot, and all sorts of crazy things.

There are mods that turn ships into Starcraft ships! There’s a mod for everything.

There are a lot of cross system quests that I thought were really fun. A few of them tickled my mystery gland very well. Certain actions can unlock additional ships with all sorts of weird strategies. I’m a sucker for unlockables and this game will give me a lolly if I can put crew members of 6 different races on my ship at once.

Speaking of unlockables and races. Stats of your ship and what crew members you have will allow you to unlock certain, sometimes secret, options for events. Dealing with food riots? Send in your rock man, their sticks and stones can’t hurt him. Negotiating with a dodgy captain? Have your slug read his emotions to figure out whether he’s on the level. Someone teleport onto your ship and hold someone hostage? Your mantis’ enhanced adrenaline and sharp incisors will ensure the hostage is safe.

Aw man, I loves seeing that blue text.

 

The Kvetch

When you were jumping to a beacon it was impossible to tell which beacons that one could reach, sometimes I would jump to a dead end and get utterly destroyed by the rebel fleet. Thankfully this was fixed in the Advanced Edition but it was so frustrating I wanted to talk about it anyway — What a quibble.

I fucking hate asteroid fields. Asteroids constantly bombard your ship and the enemy ship if there is one. It turns the combat into a DPS race but if the enemy gets some lucky shots on your systems while your shields are down then the incoming asteroids will ensure that you can’t get back on your feet.. The Stealth Cruiser doesn’t have shields to begin with so if it wanders into an asteroid field it’s gonna get pummeled and there’s little it can do about it.

If the engines get hit or the pilot gets hit then you can’t even jump away from the field.

The Verdict

FTL: Faster Than Light is a damn fine game. It’s punishing and brutal but I never felt like I hadn’t learned anything between playthroughs. I was able to use this applied knowledge to get further and further each time until I eventually beat it. As a rogue-like it’s susceptible to RNG screw but things are usually manageable. This game gets an enthusiastic recommendation.

Twisted Metal Black (PS2)

 

Introduction

The Blackfield Asylum holds the worst of Midtown’s worst. It’s a place rife with the strong and the mad. One day it gets taken over by a guy by the name of Calypso. He says if the choice inmates enter his contest and kill each other then he’ll grant them a wish, anything they want. They all have a vehicle –stashed somewhere, I guess– that Calypso supes of for them. They’re dropped into the middle of Midtown to wreak havoc on it and the other drivers. Drive, fight for your life, get power ups, and see your darkest desires come true.

Pictured: Calypso. With a face like this, what’s not to trust? Pay no attention to the eye with evil tendrils coming out of it.

History

The Twisted Metal series is developed by Incognito Entertainment. Blackt was designed and directed by series veteran David Jaffe and produced by Scott Campbell. Jaffe had worked on the first and second installments but was taken off just in time for things to take a downturn in the third game in the series, which continued into the fourth. The series needed a change, it needed a new breath of life, so they brought Jaffe back to bring the series back to its roots — well maybe not its roots, I mean Twisted Metal 1 is a pile of camp and silly.

One of these is Twisted Metal 2 and the other is Twisted Metal 3 and I don’t think either of them looks better than the other and that’s a problem.

Then again, we’ve come a long way since the full motion video cinematics that were cut from the first game. Pictured: A demon named Black.

Twisted Metal Black was released on June 18th, 2001. It’s competition was Baldur’s Gate II: Throne of Baal (PC), Sonic Adventure 2 (Dreamcast), and Operation Flashpoint: Cold War Crisis (PC).

Experiences

I might have played this game when I was younger than I should have been. My father had seen me play Twisted Metal 3 and how kiddy is was. I loved it –because I was 14 and didn’t know any better– so I was hot on the sequel’s heels when it came out –or as hot as a 20 dollar a season game budget can be. I played it to completion and saw all of the vignettes, learning the stories of the deranged characters. I then related these experiences to my relatives who didn’t exactly understand how videogames worked. Much to my surprise they were shocked and appalled about its content and the effect it would have on my young mind. Long story short, don’t introduce someone to the industry with this game.

Gameplay

Twisted Metal belongs firmly in the niche car combat genre — and when I say “belongs” I mean, “Is the best and only part of.”  In which you choose a vehicle from a variety, each with their own stats like top speed, handling, and armor. You then ride them around in arenas picking up powerups, shooting at other vehicles from the roster, and trying not to die. Powerups include missiles, canister bombs, and other special items that are level specific. They’re hidden everywhere in this game, they’re across gaps, tethered behind helicopters –blow them up and deny your enemies their prize–, and hidden in destructible terrain.

Each driver has an attack that only they can use. These special attacks are very powerful and are automatically recharged after a certain amount of time that’s different for every driver. Each vehicle also has certain abilities that they all share like launching attacks backwards, dropping land mines, engaging a cloaking field, or shooting a freeze ray. They’re performed by inputting a button combination on the controls and use up an energy meter so they’re a little unwieldy to use in the middle of some fancy driving. If you’re out of all of that then you’ll have to settle with some machine guns which are decent considering how piddly they’ve been in previous games.

When I say powerful, I mean turning your car into a mech that shoots missiles levels of powerful.

The Gush

Inbetween every match we get a little snippet of what the driver is thinking. I think it was a great way to give the player something to do during the loading screens and give us some insight into the character.

The AI controlled drivers do a good job of fighting each other when they’re not fighting you. It seemed like in other car combat games that the AI characters would just gang up on you. When I was younger I thought they had their own unique AI or personality but that doesn’t seem like it’s the case.

The two previous games were filled with disappointing endings where no characters had their wishes fulfilled. A curse of the Monkey’s Paw is interesting every once in awhile but it loses tension when it’s constant. Black set a good balance between wishes going well and wishes going poorly.

There are 5 unlockable vehicles and most of them have interesting methods to unlocking them. Most levels have something particularly destructible that hides the vehicle so you’ll have to unlock them in the middle of combat.

Spoilers, the Junkyard object is the plane. Shooting it out of the sky is pretty tricky but doable. I always though I could lead another driver into the blast and destroy them but I never pulled it off.

The Kvetch

The maps in this game are pretty forgettable. Some of the hidden areas are sort of cool but for the most part it’s all dingy and drab. I know the world is supposed to be depressing but there’s only so much brown I can take.

The game has local multiplayer deathmatch and campaign but it suffers from having to be splitscreen. I know that it was a limitation of the time but…

… this is just not enough screen to play on unless you’re television is huge.

The gameplay also gets sort of dull. I figured out I was only playing for the story after I played through everyone’s campaign and then never played the game again. It’s been collecting dust on my shelf as a monument to my teenage angst ever since.

The Verdict

If you’re invested in the past of the Twisted Metal series and need some more stories about deranged people blowing up cars — or you’re like, 16– then this would be a game worth picking up. If you don’t give a damn about any of that then just pass on this one. It might be worth a laugh to force your friends to play a deathmatch with you but those’re the only uses I can think for this game.

Next Week: Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number.

The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age

Introduction

 There have been a few Lord of the rings games, from the disastrous Super Nintendo title –which should have been called Hobbits in Caves: The Game– to the Playstation 2 series of hack and slash games. It was time for The Lord of the Rings to be more than a game where you kill orcs one after another in real time. It was time for The Lord of the Rings to be a game where you killed orcs one after another with TURN BASED COMBAT. You play as a group of adventurers who totally aren’t the fellowship of the Ring — I mean, you don’t have a hobbit character so it’s totally not the same– and you must go… find Boromir for some reason. And then go do other things too… it’s… weird.

This is Berethor, the main character. Now that I look at this guy I don’t think he ever smiles. He’s actually got that scowl bolted to his face.

History

This game was made by Electronic Arts — put the torches and pitch forks down, you can go commit mob violence after this is done. They got Steve Gray on board, this guy worked on Final Fantasy VII and Parasite Eve, and he had wanted to make a Lord of the Rings RPG since the 90s so there was legitimate passion in this project.

EA owned the license to make games based on the movies and this created some weird snags in what they could depict. This meant that they could only use things that had been in the movies or WERE NOT in the books — this will important later.

Lord of the Rings: The Third Age was released on November 2nd 2004. It’s competition was Half-Life 2 (PC), Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines (PC), and Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (PS2).

Experiences

Gray said that he wanted this game to sort of dance around important events in the series, “You travel on a sort of “S” curve that weaves in and out of the path of the Fellowship through the story of the trilogy.” This meant that in moments that you’re closest to them you’d want to be doing the coolest things, right? That’s what I thought when I was 17. I wanted to fight the Balrog with Gandalf, defend Helm’s Deep, fight the Witch King of Angmar — which are all things you get to do in the game. But looking back on it, it seems so silly and so dumb.

It might be awesome to fight the Balrog but it’s established that Gandalf was the only one who held a candle to the being of fire and shadow– he’s really the only one in the in-game fight who can do any damage anyway. The Witch King was totally Eowyn’s fight, she had that guy’s number, and for some auburn haired dude with a sword and a shield to finish The Witch King off is just sort of insulting. I don’t know how it could have been done any other way but I think it might have been best not done at all.

So none-canon that it hurts.

Gameplay

The game is an RPG with turn based combat so there’s not much to talk about when it comes to the gameplay department. Each character has hit points and Action Points –mana points, basically– which they expend to use special abilities. Each of the characters follows Final Fantasy class design pretty closely. We got a warrior, red mage, blue mage, knight, thief, and… whatever Eaoden is — seriously he’s hard to encapsulate, it’s like the designers just gave him all the leftover abilities and called it good. You can have four party members out at any given time and can even switch them out in the middle of battles too.

That series of portraits in the upper right hand corner show what order the turns will be in.

Items are extremely valuable in this game. Although some are dropped by enemies you’ll mostly be relying on what you find in chests throughout the game. This game might not have given me potion paralysis — the reluctance to use items unless they’re truly needed– but it certainly didn’t help it either. Each character has unique equipment that actually alters their appearance.

What makes an RPG really shine is the story and the characters, in this department The Third Age is lacking hard. I struggle to remember any distinct traits about any of the characters and have a hard time remembering why their adventure was important for any reason other than that Fellowship thing being mighty important.

The Gush

Evil mode is the most original and incredible idea this game introduces. After you beat a chapter you can play through that chapter again in Evil Mode. Evil Mode is a series of fights where you play as the monsters fighting the heroes. Beating the good guys unlocks new equipment that just sort of teleports into your character’s inventory but the only thing that’s more awesome — even if it is dumb — than fighting the Balrog is being the Balrog.

“Pardon me, I think I’ll just pass if you don’t mind.”

Each character plays really differently, especially Eaoden — I mean, he’s got attacks that raise your opponents stats but do more damage. It’s really easy to make a team that matches your playstyle from the given characters.

The divergences between this game and the established series are actually pretty good. Helping the elves kill some orcs while they leave their homes is pretty cool. Killing Grima Wormtongue at a random Rohan town was sort of weird but not totally bad. You also take alternate routes through places Moria and other locations.

The Kvetch

Any dialogue voiced by a member of the Fellowship is either reused clips from the movie or was impersonated poorly. They got them into sound booths for the other games, I don’t know why they couldn’t do it for this one.

Attack animations are fluid and quick but spell animations take forever. I think an hour of gameplay was just waiting for Idrial or orcs to throw spells around. I would eventually stop using her spells just because their animations just took so damn long.

If I have to watch this troll beat his drum one more time…

When a character isn’t in combat they don’t get experience points. If you pick a team you’d best be ready to commit because those other shmucks are gonna get left in the experience point related dust. Character’s join at roughly the same level so they all get a fair shot but if you didn’t keep Elegost around then you can be sure that when you need his bow to fight someone then you won’t be having it.

I don’t know if it’s explained in the game, I didn’t catch it when I played through, but I had no idea what any of the stats did. Strength, Spirit, Constitution, Speed, and Dexterity aren’t exactly a good representation of what they do. I understand what Constitution and Strength do but what’s the difference between Speed and Dexterity and what does Spirit do at all?

The final boss is the fucking Eye of Sauron. There’s no real build up. You fight the Witch King and after he dies it’s just *bloop* fight this asshole. He’s big, got a lot of health, and is a total pushover. When he’s dead, cut to credits. It’s the dumbest thing in any Lord of the Rings game ever.

The Verdict

What it comes down to is that if fighting the Balrog alongside Gandalf doesn’t sound like the stupidest, canon breakingest, over the top thing that you’ve ever considered doing in a game then you’ll find this game palatable. Or at the very least, if you can look past doing stuff like that then there’s a solid RPG underneath.

Next Week: Killer 7

Kirby Superstar (SNES)

Introduction

When it says “8 games in one” they’re not kidding. Kirby’s got to save the world from Dedede– twice–, a giant bird, Meta-Night, and no Kirby game would be complete if he didn’t have to save the world from a being from another world, planet, or reality. Kirby’s got new copy abilities and new, more sophisticated, buddies to summon — Gooey, you knew you were on thin ice. Join gaming’s favorite pink puffball as he faces his most dangerous foes yet.

Where to start?

History

There seems to be a running trend now that Kirby games don’t have any development information. What I can say is that this game was released a year before Kirby’s Dream Land 3. I won’t say it looks better but it’s a much more complex and interesting game. It’s got six main campaigns and three minigames in contrast to Dreamland’s thirty levels. The art styles match the games very well but I feel like Superstar’s just looks better. Drop a comment if you’ve played them both and have a preference.

Kirby Superstar came out on September 20th, 1996. It’s competition was Tetris Attack (SNES), Phatasmagoria: Puzzle of the Flesh (PC), and The Elder Scrolls: Daggerfall (PC).

Experiences

Despite the injection of plot I’ll admit that this game’s campaigns have some pretty weak and cookie cutter stories. Revenge of Meta Knight had the only story that really held my attention. Meta Knight and Kirby have been rivals for a long time but they’ve been known to team up every so often. I wanted to know what Meta Knight was swearing revenge for and it’s not really explained in the gameplay. Resting on the introduction screen shows  how the Halberd got created and why Meta Knight is attacking Dreamland — Why they don’t mention this in the game is a mystery to me.  As it turns out Meta Knight is conquering Dreamland because he disapproves of their “lazy lifestyle.”

Hey man, Kirby and Dedede ran a three part marathon in this game alone. Are they really that lazy?

The weirdest thing is that I really sympathized with Meta Knight on this one. I don’t agree with his methods but Dreamland should probably get its act together and do something with its existence. Dedede is the king, maybe he should do something besides trying to hoard all the food — which he does in every game for some reason.

Gameplay

Very similar to other Kirby games, Kirby eats enemies and copies their abilities. His goal in every campaign is to fight enemies and beat up some meany head who’s being a jerk. Unlike other Kirby games this game has a sense of progression. Certain campaigns are only unlocked by beating other campaigns.

Gooey can’t help or hurt you in this game because he hasn’t been invented yet. Instead of summoning Gooey Kirby can turn his copied power into a buddy. Kirby can only have one buddy at a time and this buddy will do everything in his power to beat up Kirby’s enemies — to greater or lesser degrees. The second player can also take control of this buddy. If you’re annoyed with your friends or the buddy in general you can press the buddy button again to turn the buddy into an object that confers the copied ability when consumed.

They’ve also all got… names. Hey, player 2, do you wanna play as Bonkers the ape man with a hammer? Why are you walking away?

The Gush

I hate banging on about the music all the time but the music in these games are really good. Games with bad music feel more drawn out and boring. Games with good music feel compressed, like all the bad or listless parts are forgotten because at least I had some sweet tunes to jam out to. And sweet tunes this game has.

I think this is the only game with an Earthbound reference in it. One of the treasures that you can find in the great Cave Offensive is a Mr. Saturn, of which there is a whole tribe in Earthbound — I love those big nosed guys.

Each of the different campaigns has a unique mechanic. The Great Cave Offensive has its treasure hunt — though it’s not necessary to find everything (We all know it is). Meta Knightmare introduces a time limit for each level — I guess Meta Knight disaproves of Kirby’s lazy pace. And in Milky Way Wishes Kirby unlocks his powers instead of getting them by inhaling his enemies — but… isn’t Kirby from space? Why would space creatures nullify his copy abilities? And why would other planets be filled with all of the same creatures as Popstar but with different color schemes?

They also have different HUDs. Check out the Great Cave Offensive’s treasure map.

The Copy ability is an ability that allows Kirby to copy enemies. I bet you’re probably thinking, “Doesn’t he already do that by inhaling them?” Yes, this is true. But the point is that Kirby can turn this Copy ability into a buddy, allowing the second player to copy enemies like Kirby himself. This is a glorious godsend, a rare treat for the second player to play as a sort of mini-Kirby with.

The Kvush

The backgrounds are really hit or miss. The fight against Dedede features a crowd filled with enemies cheering– even Super Mario is hiding in the corner. The fight against Dyna Blade on the other hand has a plain purple background — I bet it has to do with her defeat animation but it still doesn’t look good. Check out the differences.

Oh snap… a cloud….

It’s even got an arena marquis!

 

The Kvetch

Six different campaigns, two minigames, and a boss rush. That’s a lot of things to do in a little SNES cartridge. You might be wondering what the game rewards the player with in return for doing all of these things — I mean, I am. Perhaps they grace us with a version of the credits that’s really silly or a unique little scene that sheds some light on characters. Nope… you get a sound test — do people even know what a sound test is anymore?

This game has got a lives system for seemingly no reason. Losing a life makes you restart the level. Running out of lives forces you to continue or quit. Continuing… also makes you start at the beginning of the level — I guess it’s supposed you make you feel bad or something. It shows that this silly mechanic was losing relevance even at this time.

Some of the tutorials are unskippable and unnecessary. It might be difficult to figure out that consuming an enemy copies their ability but the player can still spit enemies out to attack. It’s intuitive to think that a character who can inhale enemies can eat them. Eating an enemy that has no ability informs the player that that enemy didn’t have an ability. That hints the player that some enemies do things when they’re eaten. The game deprives the player of that sense of discovery — It’s also annoying as fuck to watch the same tutorial whenever I play the game.

The Verdict

This is the best Kirby game that I’ve ever played. I love it that much. If you like platforming and using crazy abilities then you’ll probably like this game. Bring a friend, turn him into a Waddle Dee with an umbrella, laugh at him, stop laughing as he starts knocking dudes out. It’s just a great time.

This game has got a remake for the Nintendo DS called Kirby Superstar Ultra. It makes the best even better. Pick it up if you’d rather be a pink puff ball on the go.

Next Week: Lord of the Rings: The Third Age.

Kirby’s Dreamland III (SNES)

Introduction

 It’s a Kirby game and any fan of the series knows that a monster from another time, space, or reality is on its way to Pop-Star to do something awful to it — having read that, all the new comers know now too. Kirby’s more than ready to spring into action though — I mean, he can absorb the powers of whatever he eats so if the bad guys are ready then he is as well. With the help of his pal Gooey and his animal buddies he’ll kick the dark spawned creature back into the cold unforgiving cosmos from which it came.

I assume that this team’s ability to save the world is in direct proportion to how FUCKING CUTE it is.

History

Sorry, no words about the development here. The only interesting tidbits of information that I could find was that this game was the last first-party game Nintendo released for the Super Nintendo. That and this game didn’t get released in Europe and Australia due to some sort of technical issue. It wouldn’t see these parts of the world until 2009 — better late than never I guess.

Kirby’s Dreamland 3 was released on November 27th, 1997. It’s competition was Curse of Monkey Island (PC), Diddy Kong Racing (Nintendo 64), and Croc: Legend of the Gobbos (PS1).

Experiences

 I watched the demo of this game when I was a kid and saw that I could summon a little buddy to help me fight through the game. This buddy’s name was Gooey and I was certain that we’d be the best of friends. Things with Gooey started off great. He was running around faster than me and eating dudes and spitting them out at breakneck speed. Then I started trying to finish certain bonus goals and he kept eating all the enemies that gave me the powers I needed or any abilities in general. Soon, I had to dismiss this faithful companion.

No evil spirit, eh? Is gluttony not a deadly sin? Screw it, he’s too cute to stay mad at. Oh yeah, player 2 can control him.

Gameplay

This game is the standardest fare when it comes to Kirby games. This means that Kirby jumps and floats around eating enemies and gaining the powers of enemies that look like they have powers. Eating a spider doesn’t give you a power, there is no spider power — although certain New York webslingers would disagree — but eating an enemy with a sword will give Kirby the Sword power or a broom gives him the Cleaning power — I’m not joking, Clean is one of the most useful abilities in the game.

In addition to having sweet powers this game features 6 animal buddies: Rick the Hamster, Kine the Fish, Coo the owl, Chuchu the… blob thing — the wiki says she’s an octopus but she’s looks more like an alien parasite– , Pitch the bird, and Nago the cat. These guys alter how Kirby’s copied abilities work, have their own methods for grabbing enemies, and have different movement abilities. For example, Nago has a triple jump but can’t float like Kirby can, Kine can swim against strong underwater currents, and Chuchu can grab onto ceilings but can barely float at all. Sometimes their unique copy abilities are needed to overcome certain obstacles as well so get ready to use your imagination.

Every level showcases a character who needs Kirby’s help. Sometimes it’s a janitor that needs help cleaning rooms –I told you clean was useful– or a deconstructed robot that wants to get put back together.

And sometimes it’s Samus freaking Aran who needs a hand capturing some renegade Metroids.

Completing each task gives Kirby a weird sort of heart-star morphing thing. I’m certain there’s no secret goal, boss fight, or ending that is only unlocked by finding all of these things — Nope, certainly not one of those around these parts.

The Gush

Gooey can be a pain in the ass but he’s got locked away in him the secret to eternal life. Summoning Gooey reduces Kirby’s health by one box. Dismissing Gooey will return the lost box of health… no matter how low Kirby’s health is. If he’s been reduced to a half of a health box then summoning Gooey won’t cost him any health and dismissing him will give him another box back. The game’s already pretty easy but if you’re in a pinch then just remember this neat trick.

The music in this game has a sort of kid friendly tone to it. Sometimes the instrumentation gets a little grating but it’s more than made up for by super catchy melodies. Every once in awhile I’ll hum a few bars of one of the ridiculously fast paced songs.

The art has this sort of gentle wonder to it that I really liked. When it was good it was great.

Lookit this! Just lookit this! The fuzzy shading makes everything look like it was drawn by a five year old — Yoshi’s Island style.

The bosses in this game are super cool. My favorite boss in this game is Ado. She’s an artist from another planet who’s come to Popstar to improve her art skills. I don’t think she needs much more practice though because her drawings are so life-like that they come to life when they’re finished. Her fight is more like three bosses in one. Not content to send her creations to fight you, when you’ve defeated her minions she comes out swinging with her brush.

Dammit! Even the bosses in this game are adorable.

 

The Kvush

As far as a game for kids is concerned, the tone of the music and content can sometimes be radically dissonant. The final boss is some straight up nightmare fuel. The gentle music sometimes goes absolutely berserk. But that’s the nature of an adventure, I suppose. It doesn’t really matter how scary the final boss was to me when I was eight because I beat it. I vanquished that evil and its creepiness only went to show how twisted and dark it was.

The Kvetch

Some of the environments are a little bland. Only a few levels really stood out to me at all. Kirby Superstar had places like Green Greens, Bubbly Clouds, Mt. Dedede, and a giant freaking airship called the Halberd — you can bet I looked that word up.

Oh… it’s a sandy canyon called… Sand Canyon… greeeaaat.

I really like the optional goal mechanic, don’t get me wrong, but some of the objectives are just impossible to figure out. The guy with the umbrella coming out of his head was tricky but the shy dude was impossible. So impossible that I’ma bout to spoil it all up. He’s really shy so he wants a hug. Chuchu’s “inhale” is her reaching out to grab the enemy. The game considers a vicious blobby grab to be equivalent to a hug when the game requires it to be. So bring Chuchu to this guy and show him some love.

Tiny quibble over here but I really dislike how there’s no way to fight a boss after you’ve defeated it. If you want to fight the boss again then you’ve got to start the whole game over.

The Verdict

Nostalgia is having a really hard time saving this one. I feel like such a kid playing this game and I think that’s a good thing. I may have just played it to death though. I can’t recommend this one to an adult when there are so many other portable Kirby games on the market that do this one’s job better. But if there’s a kid in your life with the Wii virtual console then I’d say grabbing this game for them would be a good investment.

Next Week: Kirby Superstar

Hotline Miami (Windows and Playstation)

Just so ya’ll know, this is probably the most graphically violent game I’ve covered ever so if oodles and oodles of gore and suggestions of sexual abuse aren’t your bag then you might want to check out one of my other posts and a different game.

Introduction

The year is 1989. The player adopts the role of a character wearing a letterman’s jacket in a dingy apartment, he is never given a name — the community calls him Jacket. His answering machine has a cryptic message leading him to an address. When Jacket gets there, via his sweet Delorian– did I mention this was the eighties–, he dons a rooster mask and kills everyone there (And everyone there is a Russian mobsters) using whatever weapons he can find. Another mask is delivered to his abode and he gets another message a few days later. He knows what he has to do.

If you think is too trippy then turn back now.

History

Hotline Miami was developed by Dennaton Games which is a collaboration between Jonatan Soderstrom and Dennis Wedin. Soderstrom made the game in Game Maker and Dennis drew up the art for it. Soderstrom is an ever-busy developer who’s released more than 40 games such as Mondo Medicals (A game full of illogic puzzles) and Hot Throttle (A racing games with people who think they’re cars).

Let this dialogue encapsulate the game.

Hotline was based on one of the oodles of games Soderstrom made but didn’t release called Super Carnage. Soderstrom was able to get the game to near release state but he couldn’t get the enemy AI to work correctly– something I’ll come back to later.

Fun Fact: This game was pirated pretty heavily because it’s got such a small file size. In spite of this, Soderstrom helped patch buggy copies of the game whether they were legitimately acquired or not. He’s cited as saying “I want anyone who plays the game to be able to enjoy it without stupid bugs that detract from the experience. Feel free to buy it if you like the game. It would help allowing me and Dennis to make more ‘big’ projects like this in the future.”

Hotline Miami was released on October 23rd, 2012. It’s competition was The Fool and His Money (PC and Mac), Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask (3DS), and Killzone HD (Playstation Network).

Experiences

No two play Hotline Miami the same way — and I don’t just mean their approaches to mass murdering a bunch of mobsters. My Hotline wasn’t about power fantasy. It was about solving a mystery. The game goes as far as to ask the player directly, “Who has been leaving messages on your phone?” and I was totally drawn in by this. But more importantly, I wanted to know why Jacket was so complicit in accepting his commands.

I tried to glean as much information as I could to figure it all out. What did it mean that his apartment was a wreck? Why did he choose the flashy Delorian if he intends on killing hundreds? How strong is this guy? I mean killing people with his bare hands is probably physically demanding.

In the end, I had this strange instinct that Jacket was a character who would do whatever he was told. He was just the sort of person to blindly perform tasks like the input the player gives him. He’s just following orders.

What’s that, voice in my head? Kill them all? Good idea.

Gameplay

The game is a 2-D isometric fuck ’em up — the difference between a beat ’em up and a fuck ’em up is that in beat ’em ups you punch dudes until they fall down, in fuck ’em ups you punch a dude and then slam his head against the floor until his skull fractures. Your goal in each level is to kill everyone you see — with a few scarce exceptions. The good news is that enemies die in one hit. The bad news is that you do too. You can press R to restart the level and that’ll get ingrained in your muscle memory so hard that you’ll do it before you hit the ground.

Jacket’s a pretty flexible fighter as far as serial killers go. He can pick up and throw any weapon he gets his hands on — with some weapons being more dangerous than others– or he can resort to his good ol’ fists. The game scores you on how well and creatively that Jacket dispatches his enemies. The more you mix it up and the more fluid you are the more points you get.

His array of masks also offer bonuses, large and small, to keep the carnage going — with effects like “Lethal Doors,” “Silent Gunshots,” and “French Translation.” Speaking of guns, be careful where you fire them. Your opponents are stupid but not deaf. They’ll come running as soon as they hear it and be none too pleased about their murdered friends. It certainly doesn’t help that guns give you fewer points.

All dem masks. It’s a good idea to get a feel for which ones you like best.

The Gush

The music in this game is incredible. It’s a perfect match to the sleazy 80s atmosphere. The whole while I was playing this game my head was bobbing. I listen to it a lot even when I’m not playing the game and this is 2 years later.

The game has this weird way of rewarding the player’s frantic, wild, and unpredictable actions. It almost seems like the AI is struggling to keep up with something they didn’t expect the player to do. It all sort of turns into a blur. Run in, hit guy with the door, pick up his weapon, throw it at other goon, pick up his gun, fire to attract other guys, finish of first guy, throw gun at remaining thugs, punch them all, and then beat them to death one at a time.

I really liked how the optional objective gave some sort of clarity and meaning to the chaotic experience. If you’re itching to figure out what’s going on them keep an eye out for misplaced purple pixels. They’re actually puzzle pieces but what could they mean?

The Kvetch

This game is pretty difficult. I know some of you blazed through it easy and but just imagine how discouraging it’s got to be to die as soon as you open the front door. The game’s difficulty is exacerbated by it’s extremely fast pace.

Bonus Story: My old computer was practically a toaster — I named it Rust Bucket. It ran Hotline extremely slowly and slower yet if I ran something in the background. I may have used this to A+ every stage — if it’s any consolation it glitched out quite a few times.

The Verdict

I can’t recommend this game enough if it sounds at all appealing to you. It’s only ten dollars on Steam and that’s a bargain for the barrel full of gore and fun this happened to be — but mostly fun… and yet mostly gore. If you liked this title then it will please you to hear that Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number is nearing its release so keep an eye out for it as well.

Next Week: The Binding Of Isaac.

Bastion (PC, XBox, PS4)

Introduction

 The city of Caelondia has just been rocked by a catastrophe of calamitous proportions — a Calamity, one might say. The Kid has apparently slept through it all and wakes on the other side — End of the world NBD, just napping. The city of Caelondia has an, apparently, paranoid enough culture to justify the construction of some sort of indestructible bunker known as the Bastion. The Kid’s got to get to the Bastion and fix it up to get it to do whatever mojo it does. The whole while he’s guided by this smooth talking, raspy voiced, narrator.

Behold the Bastion. From left to right we have the armory, forge, distillery, monument, shrine, and the Lost-And-Found. At the center of it all we have the Monument. It’s a nice hub, I’ve got to say.

History

Bastion was developed by Supergiant games. The team was composed of seven people if you include the voice actor of the narrator. They had previously worked for Electronic Arts but wanted to work on a smaller independent project in which they could do what they wanted. They privately funded the game and things were done on the cheap but didn’t seem it — the narration and music was recorded in the music director’s closet after all.

Fun Fact: Supergiant wanted the character to have a map but they figured the way platforms rose into the air would serve as direction enough.

Other Fun Fact: The Narrator, voiced by Logan Cunningham, voiced three thousand lines of narration — whatever you do, there’s probably a line for it.

Bastion was released on July 20th, 2011. It’s competition was Call of Juarez: The Cartel (PS3, XBox 360), Limbo (PC), and Captain America: Super Soldier (On goddam everything. PS3, Wii, XBox 360, DS, and 3DS.)

Experiences

I can’t think of any other game that makes me feel more like I’m in a desperate battle. Between the occasional horde of enemies and how they surround The Kid I feel like the battle is bitter and hard fought. Most enemies don’t go down in one hit and much of the time The Kid is actually fighting retreat to get away from something. One fight with an Ankle Gator lasts for an entire stage as The Kid evades it until it begins to rain — the narrator muses, “An ankle gator can only be killed if it’s raining. And it ain’t raining.”

Gameplay

The Kid’s adventures take him scavenging in all parts of the world for pieces of the Bastion’s power core. He might walk a little slowly but he’s got a mean dodge roll that can actually damage enemies — just be careful, living in a world floating in the air is pretty dangerous. He can carry two weapons at a time and they’re generally split between melee and ranged. The game typically gives The Kid one weapon of each type but there’s no reason you can’t use two of the same if you like the playstyle enough. In addition to The Kids arsenal he’s also got access to some Secret Skills passed on by the Caelondians who have passed.

He’s not just an offensive powerhouse, he’s got a shield. If he brings up the shield as he’s being attacked he’ll shield bash dealing damage based on how much damage he would have taken. The shield also serves as The Kids lock on ability, he’ll automatically face the nearest opponent when he brings it up. Attacking brings the shield down so you can snap from blocking to attacking.

A typical combat situation. The turrets on the ship have been charmed, you can tell by the dancing hearts above them  — functional and cute.

The Kid levels up by defeated enemies and completing challenges. Completing challenges also earns The Kid items and Secret Skills. Every level earns The Kid another Spirit –as in the alcohol– he can consume to give him cool powers. In addition, there are mementos and fragments scattered across the area. Mementos unlock dialogue and other useful things like pets at the Bastion. The Kid can spend fragments to purchase weapon upgrades and other things from the Lost and Found.

You can tell a challenge area by the cages with items underneath. The goal of this challenge is to break all the stuff. Be quick!

The Gush

I really like the upgrade system in this game. Every weapon has five levels of upgrades. Each level has two mutually exclusive upgrade. Each column generally serves other upgrades in that column but it’s sometimes encourage to mix and match. You can also switch between each of those upgrades so if you don’t like them it’s just a matter of getting to an Armory.

This game looks gorgeous — but you’ve been able to see that from all the pics I’ve posted. The game is colorful and wondrous. Some things are even incredibly detailed in ways that the player wouldn’t necessarily notice.

I mean, just… look at this. This is awesome.

I tip my hat to Logan Cunningham’s wonderful narration. His vocal stylings constantly make me feel awesome and emotionally involved. The Kid’s a silent protagonist but he’s really got the narrator to speak for him.

There are a few objects in the Bastion that will take The Kid to “Who Knows Where,” where he’ll fight waves of phantom enemies. Each wave of phantoms the kid defeats unlocks more narration about one of the survivors in the Bastion. Even thought the fights are tough I want to keep going to hear what happens next.

Spoilers: There are other survivors.

If you’re looking for a little extra challenge then you can go to the Shrine and invoke an idol. Each Idol gives the enemies a new ability which makes them more powerful. The Kid gets more fragments and experience points for his time but it’s really just a little reward for wanting the game to be a little harder — even though I think some of the idols make the game absurdly harder (Seriously, who thought making the enemies incorporeal at random intervals was a good idea. [Then again, I just don’t invoke that idol]).

The Kvetch

This game has a new game plus option, to play through the game again. I appreciate it and I love this game but I don’t really see the reason to play through it twice. There’s no new weapons, no new skills, and no new story events. The narration’s a little different as the narrator experiences Deja Vu but it’s mostly similar.

The Verdict

Goodness gracious this game is on so many platforms because it’s so good. The gameplay and combat is simple but the different weapons and skills add that spice that keeps it all mechanically interesting until the end. I was also drawn in by the plot, the politics between Caelondia and the Native Ura, what the Calamity actually is, and who the Kid is. In short, it’s totally worth the $15 price tag.

Next Week: Transistor